


Faux Pas

by texturamatic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad boy!Lucas, CEO, CEO!Jungwoo, CEO!Lucas, Enemies to Lovers, Good boy!Jungwoo, Hurt/Comfort, Luwoo, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 91,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texturamatic/pseuds/texturamatic
Summary: Growing up in a rich family and getting spoiled by money didn't make you a bad person.Jungwoo proved it, as he grew up into someone who everyone adores and loves. He was trustworthy, mature, smart, and responsible with what he had to do. His dad trusted him a lot and everyone knew that he will be the future CEO of his dad company.Yukhei, on the other hand, was a troublemaker and a party animal. Yes, he had a lot of friends and he loved being a social butterfly, but everyone doubted him to become the next successor of his dad company. He was smart, athletic, and had the visual that everyone would die for, too bad he used them all to had party all night, gambling, and racing every week.Yukhei and Jungwoo only met each other once, and they swore it would be the first and also the last time for them to meet one another. There won't be the second time, they thought.





	1. Faux Pas

 ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

  

_Not all the things that seem broken are really broken._

_Not all the things that seem perfect are really perfect.  
_

_Even though it seems perfect from the outside;_

 

_Their past_

_Their family_

_Their insecurity  
_

 

_Do you think you really know them?_

 

 ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

 

**FAUX PAS**

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/140479285@N02/41467132535/in/dateposted-public/)

**Wong Yukhei**

_The Bad Guy_

 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/140479285@N02/42369686011/in/dateposted-public/)

**Kim Jungwoo**

_The Good Guy_  

 

 ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

  _There is nothing perfect._

_There is only life._

 ⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

 

**©TEXTURAMATIC 2018**

 


	2. Egghead

Growing up in a rich family and loved by everyone around, no one could deny that Jungwoo’s life is perfect. Not only did he have a beautiful face and body, he also trustworthy, mature, smart, and responsible with what he had to do. Everyone agreed that he would be the future CEO of his dad company — which is one of the biggest in South Korea. People kept asking him whether it was hard to reach everyone’s expectation and study every single day, but Jungwoo humbly answered no. He always did his best and studying was his passion so it’s not like he was forced or pressured to do it. He followed his routine every day, fulfilling his task one by one, from waking up in the morning until going to bed at night. And as a scheduled type of person, it satisfied him whenever he could finish all the tasks according to his plan. But sometimes, life doesn’t go as planned and it hit Jungwoo hard when he met Yukhei for the first time.

People say that each human being has a soulmate that has similar personality with themselves. And Yukhei, with his personality, was obviously not Jungwoo’s soulmate – even in the slightest. Yukhei was a trouble maker and a party animal. He had a lot of friends and he loved being a social butterfly, but everyone doubted him to become the next CEO of his dad’s company, which is one of the biggest in China. He was smart, athletic, and had the visuals that everyone would die for, but too bad he used them all to had party all night, to gamble, and to race every week. Some people praised him for his ability in socializing, but the others mocked him for being a failure in his family. Yukhei was a total opposite of Jungwoo, but their dads were best friends for life; which was the reason for them to meet each other on a family vacation.

Jungwoo kept his eyes on the younger man. He was tall and handsome, wearing black sleeveless shirts and long black jeans. Jungwoo blinked his eyes several times, couldn’t believe that there was someone who could be that good looking. Jungwoo braved himself to ask for the other’s name, knowing that they might be a work partner in the future.

“Hello. I’m Jungwoo. What’s your name?” He offered his hand and showed his biggest smile.

The taller man only stared at his hand and finally gave him a handshake after seconds. “Hey, Egghead. I’m Yukhei.” He replied with a sly grin.

“Excuse me, what?” Jungwoo let his hand go right away.

“Egghead. Because you look so studious,” he paused his sentence while staring at Jungwoo from head to toe, “and boring.” He continued.

Jungwoo had lived for 20 years and that was the first time someone said that to him, let alone in their first meeting. “I’m sorry for being studious but I’m not boring? And you cannot accuse me of that in our first meeting. You don’t even know me.” Jungwoo rolled his eyes.

“Yeah and I don’t want to know you because you must be a boring person.”

“But we will have a vacation together? Like, can’t you stop being like that, so we won’t have any problem for the next two weeks?”

“It’s not like I agree with this vacation, you know? I will take care of myself and you take care of yourself, so we don’t have to communicate at all.”

“What did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of treatment?”

Yukhei rolled his eyes and sighed, “For your information, I just hate a person like you.”

Jungwoo froze in his tracks consumed by disbelief. Blood rushed to his head as fast as he turned his back from Yukhei and walked towards his dad in anger. Yukhei left him speechless, he couldn’t answer back and, even though he didn’t want to admit, the younger man had won the argument. He tried to calm himself down for a bit before complaining to his dad about the whole situation.

“Dad, I’m sorry but can we talk for a minute?” Jungwoo politely questioned.

Mr. Kim turned to look at his son and showing a smile similar to the one Jungwoo gave to Yukhei before. He answered, “Sure, Son. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Yukhei. _He. Is. Wrong._ ” Jungwoo tried to lower his voice so Mr. Wong wouldn’t overhear what he said.

“Well... He is a little bit problematic but he is a good kid. He might be your partner in the future so you have to adjust yourself with him. I know you will do great because that’s what you’ve done until now. And also, you agreed to this vacation – why are you complaining now?” Mr. Kim questioned back and Jungwoo knitted his brows together.

_A LITTLE BIT problematic? GOOD kid? Oh my god where?_

“I did agree with this vacation, but I didn’t know that it would be like this.”

“Maybe it’s only for the first few days. I’m sure the two of you will get close soon. You two will share room together, though.”

“What?”

“That’s obvious, right?”

“Dad, please no.”

“Jungwoo.”

“Dad, please.” Jungwoo begged but all he could get was a serious look from his dad.

“Kim Jungwoo, you always listen to me. Don’t anger me this time.”

Jungwoo shut his mouth. He knew more than anyone that it would be bad if he really angered his dad and ruin the entire vacation. He’d never angered his dad before, but he had seen a glimpse of it and he certainly did not want to see it for the second time. He knew then that there was no other choice for him than to bear with Yukhei for the next two weeks. It supposed to be a happy vacation for him, even though he hated to go outside. Mr. Kim was a very busy person and he couldn’t spend a lot of times with his family. That’s why Jungwoo was very happy when his dad told him that they will go on a vacation for a couple weeks, and Jungwoo agreed immediately with everything his dad said. He never thought that he would meet Yukhei, the first person in his life who dared to treat him like that and ruined his happy vacation plan. Deep in his heart, he felt very disappointed and sad, but he didn’t want his selfishness to ruin anything else. _I really had no other choice,_ he thought.

Too bad, not even a day have passed since he tried to bear with everything, life really tried to mess up with Jungwoo’s plan. Again. What was worse than having a single bed with the person you hate the most?

Jungwoo let out a long sigh once he entered the bed room, Yukhei began to complain and call him egghead all over again.

“Can you just please stop calling me egghead?” said Jungwoo while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“But what is this? I don’t want to share bed with you.”

“Me neither.”

“Then we can complain and ask for a new room.”

“No, please. I don’t want my dad to be angry.”

“What the _fuck_?”

Jungwoo frowned, “Language, please.”

“Are you twelve?”

Jungwoo sighed again and he swore that it was the first time he had sighed that much in a day. “Yukhei, listen. Can we just get a long for only two weeks? Then we don’t have to mind each other’s business anymore.”

Yukhei replied with nothing but silence. He threw his bag onto the coach and walked back to Jungwoo, standing tall in front of him.

“Okay, I’ll deal with that as long as you agree to one condition.” Yukhei sure was smart enough to come up with an agreement in less than three minutes.

“Tell me.”

“Don’t tell my parents or your parents about this,” Yukhei gave Jungwoo a grin as he took the room card and walked toward the door, “and I will bear to be with you for the next two weeks.” He walked out of the room and locked the door, not giving Jungwoo a chance to answer or question anything.

Jungwoo uncrossed his arms and didn’t say anything. Yukhei left him speechless again and he just amazed how his whole plan could be ruined by a person he only just met. Silence filled the room and Jungwoo decided to just call the day off by taking shower and going to bed early.

* * *

Lights shone through between the window curtain, indicating that it’s morning already. Jungwoo scrunched his eyes at the bright light that was sipping through his closed eyelids. He slowly started blinking, trying to get a clear view of the white ceiling. He wasn’t in his room, but he felt warm and comfortable. He liked how his blanket feels warmer than usual, and how silence filled up the entire room. It was a peaceful morning, only until he got all his soul back and realized that he wasn’t alone. And his blanket, was nothing but the person the he hates the most, Yukhei.

He reeked of alcohol, still wearing the black sleeveless shirt he wore yesterday, brown hair all messy, and a kiss mark on his neck that Jungwoo couldn’t help but notice. However, all of that was still better than Yukhei’s arms being wrapped around Jungwoo’s waist, hugging him tight like a baby koala. Right at that moment, Jungwoo realized that he wouldn’t be able to have a happy, peaceful vacation for the next two weeks because of Yukhei.

He freaked out.


	3. Pretty Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukhei was a social butterfly. He loved meeting new people, but not Jungwoo. He envied him, and envy could lead to someone feeling an emotion called hate.

"Yukhei, haven’t I told you before to behave?"   
  
"I only went out for a bit and I didn't cause any problems, so you don't have to be mad like that, Dad."   
  
Yukhei rolled his eyes, showing that he hated getting scolded by his dad. The old man stood right in front of him with his arms crossed and eyebrows knitted together. The clock struck midnight and Yukhei just got home with the smell of alcohol dominating his aura. Both his hair and clothes were messy, making it easy for his dad to figure out what his son was doing before he got home. He sat on the couch, leaning over and acting like he didn’t care, disregarding how his dad was scolding him.   
  
"You go out to the club every single night and spend so much money on alcohol, and you still say that you don’t cause any problems?" said Mr.Wong with a voice higher than before.   
  
“But I used my own money.” Yukhei protested.   
  
“Yeah, from gambling, right? And whose money did you use for that? Mine.”   
  
Mr.Wong sighed loudly. Anger boiled deep inside of him, it had him wondering how his son could behave so badly like that. Yukhei was smart, good-looking, and athletic. If only he could use all these attributes for something more useful than gambling, partying, and illegal deeds. He couldn’t think of any reason why his one and only son would act in such a manner. “I swear to god how I wish you would just behave like Jungwoo.” He groaned.   
  
“That kid again?” Yukhei gave his dad a very annoyed look. That was not the first time for Mr.Wong to bring up that stranger’s name in front of Yukhei. The young man barely even knew who he was, and he swore he didn’t want to know either. But the fact that his dad kept comparing him with that stranger irritated him a lot.   
  
“How I wish I could brag about you to others like Jungwoo’s dad can brag about him proudly.”   
  
“Of course, bragging. You just want me to behave correctly so you can brag to others. What a selfish dad you are.”   
  
“How can you say that when you always act selfishly yourself?”   
  
“Fruit never falls far from the tree, right?” he smiled mockingly.   
  
“And it falls because it’s infected by pests.”   
  
_Fuck, I never thought he would answer that._   
  
“You really are nothing but a faux pas, Yukhei. A faux pas, a social blunder, an embarrassment to this family.” The old man scoffed loudly, glaring at his son from head to toe.   
  
Yukhei threw his head back and laughed bitterly, “You finally said it. That hurts, you know?” He stood up and walked past his dad with blood rushing to his head, and ran a hand through his brown locks. He heard his dad shouting his name several times, but he didn’t care anymore. He was exasperated by everything.   
  
Yukhei entered his empty bedroom. It was dark, but he didn’t even bother to turn on the light and just walked straight to his bed. Rather than exploding into a cascade of tears, he chose to stay silent and let all the rage inside him fade away. Chaos, that’s what he felt at that moment.   
  
“A faux pas, huh...” he mumbled to himself, couldn’t help but replaying over what his dad said to him before.   
  
Yukhei knew that he was nothing but an embarrassment for his dad. But he didn’t want to change anything nor blame anyone for it. He only went out to have fun; something that he could not have at home. Yukhei knew that his actions were wrong – he was smart enough to figure that out himself. But he still did it because he had no choice. He could get what he wanted outside of it all – things he never once received from his family; love and happiness.   
  
“That Jungwoo guy must be so happy with his life. How unfair.” He sighed aloud. He didn’t know anything about the stranger, but deep inside, he felt envious.   
  
And envy could lead to someone feeling an emotion called hate.   


* * *

  
What was worse than having a vacation with someone you hate the most? Well, it was having to share a bed with them.   
  
Yukhei groaned in frustration as he looked at the single bed in the middle of the hotel room. He thought being forced to go on a vacation with the person he hated the most was the worst scenario that had ever occurred in his life. But he was wrong. He took a glance at the man beside him whose facial expression was a complete reflection of his — one consumed with misery and annoyance.     
  
The entire day was tiring enough for Yukhei, and in that moment, he knew he had to take a few shots to ease his mind. He made a deal with his dad not to be problematic for the next two weeks unless he wanted to attend a private university with a strict dorm rule, but fuck everything. He thought of a way to escape the current situation and, finally, he had no choice but to make another deal with the egghead. It was mostly a one-sided deal, but who cared. He took the room card and walked out, leaving the older alone without giving him the chance to talk.   
  
Cool air touched Yukhei’s exposed skin right after he stepped outside the building. He searched for the nearest club through his phone and he was lucky to find one close to his current location. He tried to relax as he walked towards the club, following the map loaded upon the screen of his phone. Street lamps shed light on the path as he walked past all the strangers around him. It was midnight already, yet people were still outside and being productive. Yukhei felt calmer and relaxed for the first time in the day. He loved being surrounded by people even though they were all just strangers. It was significantly better than being surrounded by toxic people who create toxic situations.   
  
Yukhei started to see some drunkards on the street and he realized he had arrived at the club already. He walked inside to see the crowd of young people moving their bodies as the music played.  Flashing lights radiated in every color, flickering in all directions, hitting the multiple mirrors surrounding the room. The smell of expensive perfumes blended in with the smell of alcohol and sweat, creating a stimulating aroma that lingered in the air. Yukhei decided to get a drink first before hopping onto the dance floor to have fun for as long as he could. He strolled up to the granite countertops of the bar and ordered some drinks from the bartender. It didn’t take long for him to get the drinks he wanted, and he poured them down until he felt a little bit tipsy. _I feel great_ , Yukhei thought in the back of his mind.   
  
He drank some more before he hit the dance floor, joining the crowd and moving his body to the rhythm of the music. His body felt light, the same happened with his mind. He didn’t think of the bad feelings anymore, he just felt good. Everything around him became twenty times as exciting as it was half an hour ago; music sounded better, and everyone became more attractive. And of course, the drunk Yukhei would just grind his body to people around him. The body wave he made attracted some people, making them turn their bodies towards him and Yukhei, being all friendly and exciting, tried to voice his problem out to the strangers.   
  
“Hey... do ya want to know the reason I’m here??” he blurted out loudly. Some strangers in front of him who were all amazed by how handsome he was, nodded their head while dancing seductively.   
  
“Because I don’t want to stay in the same room... with that egghead,” Yukhei paused his sentence and he frowned, “even though he has pretty face and all. I hate him, ya know? Being all smiley at the first meeting... I almost forgot that I was supposed to hate him because of that... He has a cute smile... but I hate him so... I don’t want to be with him. And he nags a lot like a grandma, annoying... What was his name again... Xiang Woo? I—”   
  
His sentence got cut off by a random girl who suddenly kissed him. Yukhei pushed her away immediately and stared at her with a judging look.   
  
“If you hate him you should stop talking about him.” said the woman.   
  
“That... doesn’t mean you could kiss me like that...”   
  
“Are you gay for that guy who made you mad because of that?”   
  
“What the fuck? Of course no.”   
  
“Then you should be okay with making out with me.” The woman got close to him and kissed him again, but this time, deeper. Yukhei tried to get her off of him but the alcohol hit him harder and messed with his mind.   
  
Yukhei kissed her back roughly between the crowd, intoxicated under the influence of the alcohol. The woman tasted like whisky, and Yukhei liked it as he tried to push her out of the crowd, placing his arms around her waist. She knotted her fists in Yukhei’s shirt, pulling him harder against her. He groaned softly between the kisses, tongue tied, bodies close. The woman began to enter the next step by breaking the kiss and moving her lips toward Yukhei’s neck.   
  
Yukhei let out a soft moan as the stranger made some kiss marks on his beautiful neck. The music played aloud, but he didn’t even bother to listen to it. He fell deep into the kisses and the light feeling inside him. It felt like he had forgotten all about his problem; Jungwoo, and his dad.   
  
His dad.   
  
Yukhei realized something and pushed the woman off his body. The woman looked surprised and asked in annoyance, “What now?”   
  
“Fuck I’ve made a deal with that old man.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“I have to go now.” Yukhei left the stranger just like that and walked drunkenly towards the door. He almost fell few times, but at least his brain was still working well enough to remind him about the deal he had made with his dad.   
  
He cursed a lot on his way back while walking unsteadily. Being sent to a private university was like a horror for him, let alone the strict rule that would forbid him from going out and having fun. He couldn’t think straight, he almost hit the wall few times, but he was just glad that his brain had not completely turned off.   
  
Yukhei finally arrived at the hotel and got into his room as fast as he could. The clock showed that it was two in the morning already, and all he could hear was Jungwoo’s soft snore. He got closer to the bed and stared at the sleeping man in front of him.   
  
“He really has a pretty face...” he blurted out unconsciously, “...but I hate him, and that will never change.” He continued as he ran his hand through his locks and threw his body onto the bed, sleeping next to the person he was supposed to hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading :) I appreciate every comment and kudo! Thank you, once again! Have a good day <3


	4. Good Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukhei fell off the bed and Jungwoo obviously was the reason behind that.

Yukhei fell off the bed and Jungwoo obviously was the reason behind that.

The older guy freaked out after he found out he had been hugged by his enemy during the night. In contrast with most of the people in the world, including Yukhei, Jungwoo loved to wake up early in the morning; too bad that morning was ruined immediately once he found Yukhei clinging onto him.

Full offense, Yukhei was the last person he ever wanted to meet in his life; let alone to spend the night with. It hadn’t even been two days since they met but Jungwoo already hated him. He saw Yukhei fall off but he did nothing; he felt bad after kicking him off the bed, but at the same time he was glad to kick the drunken man off him.

Yukhei woke up seconds after his body touched the cold floor. The hangover hit him right away as his head hurt. He had the urge to throw up; to rid himself of the alcohol in his system. Despite having a headache, Yukhei stood up slowly to find Jungwoo staring at him from the bed. At that moment, he realized that he was not alone, and he knew why he had the worst morning ever in the first place.

“Why did you kick me off the bed?” Yukhei asked angrily.

“You reek of alcohol and you’re still using the same clothes as yesterday. Also, you h-hugged me.” Jungwoo stuttered his word as he tried to look away from the standing man in front of him.

“Fuck off, egghead. There’s no way I’d hug you if I wasn’t drunk and what kind of reason di you just give me? You _kicked_ me hard just because of that?”

“It’s not just that!!” Jungwoo raised his voice, the same way Yukhei did to him.

“Then? Are you a panicked gay teenager or something? My head hurts and all I get in the morning is you complaining about unnecessary things and ruining my whole mood. I want to throw up more now because of you,” Yukhei rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom. “fuck you _,_ egghead!” he continued with a loud voice.

Jungwoo did nothing but frown. He felt kind of bad for Yukhei — he knew some of his words were true, but there’s no way Jungwoo would apologize to him. He had pride, and he wouldn’t let it down just because of that. He knew that the prime reason he kicked Yukhei was because of the hug, and what he hated the most was that one second of hesitation he had once he found Yukhei clinging to him, with his hand wrapped around his waist and soft breath around his ear. He didn’t want to admit, but it was the fact; he had hesitated.  

Realizing that he had to bear with Yukhei for the next two weeks was absolutely the worst thing he could have imagined that day. He had met a lot of people before, including a lot of gold diggers and annoying clients, but Yukhei was totally on a whole different level of annoyance. He got on Jungwoo’s nerves whenever he spoke up, and Jungwoo was displeased by the fact he couldn’t do anything to change it in the end.

On the other side of the room, Yukhei stood under the shower, letting the cool water run full blast; washing away all his tension and numbness caused by the alcohol waste within his blood. The tall man always hated waking up early in the morning, but that day was obviously the worst one he had ever had in his life. He couldn’t remember anything that had happened the night before clearly; neither in the club nor in the bedroom. He only remembered the make out session with a stranger, then walking back to the hotel drunk, and sleeping right away as soon as he got back. No words recorded were in his memory, but honestly Yukhei didn’t really care about it.

The only thing he cared about was the hug that Jungwoo told him before. Yukhei was the type of person who got extra touchy while being drunk, but never once did he think that he would hug the person he hated during the night. Well, regardless, he was partially relieved that it was only a hug.

Yukhei tried not to think about that and focused on something else —which was the dryness in his throat and the pain inside his head. He regretted the choice to shower before drinking water first but he was just too fed up to stay in the same room with Jungwoo. So, sadly, his dry throat forced him to finish his shower and get out of the bathroom too soon.

Yukhei wrapped a white towel around his waist as he walked out the bathroom just to find Jungwoo still sitting on the bed, playing with his phone. He was seriously too calm for someone who had just kicked someone else out of the bed _._ Yukhei turned away and started to unpack his bag to find clothes to wear. It was silent until Jungwoo broke it with a soft sigh, one which was impossible for Yukhei not to hear. He wondered why, but didn’t bother to ask as Jungwoo proceeded to answer it for him.

“I just got a text from my dad. He wants us to have breakfast together after I shower.” Jungwoo   groaned, followed by another sigh.

“Hm.” Yukhei replied shortly without making any eye contact with him.

Jungwoo got up from the bed and walked closer to the younger guy. Yukhei only gave him a weird stare when they finally stood face to face with each other. A serious look showed up on Jungwoo’s pretty face as he parted his lips, “I don’t want to cause any problem, so you better keep our deal from yesterday.”

“Deal?”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot about that already?”

“Oh,” Yukhei nodded few times. “You won’t tell anyone about last night and I will bear with you for the next two weeks?”

“Which means you will act normal with me in front of them. Don’t pick a fight with me and don’t call me egghead or whatever it is.” Jungwoo pointed his finger right in front of Yukhei, making him feel annoyed.

“Why so serious though?” Yukhei scoffed.

“Not your problem but I just don’t want my dad to scold me.”

“Is your dad that scary? Or maybe you are just a coward?”

“I told you not to pick a fight with me seconds ago and you just did it. Unbelievable.”

“I’m just asking.”

“I said it’s not your problem.” Jungwoo turned his gaze away from Yukhei to the white wall behind him as he saw a displeased look begin to appear upon his face. He didn’t want to mess things up any more than they already were, so he knew he had to stop adding fuel to the fire. “I have to shower now. You better stay here and not run away because my dad wants us to get there _together_.”

Jungwoo didn’t give Yukhei a chance to answer as he walked past the taller guy. Honestly, he felt satisfied because, in that moment, he was the one who left the other speechless. Sweet.

* * *

 

The breakfast went normally – more so than he had thought it would have beforehand. Yukhei didn't say a word but it was actually a good thing in comparison to him spewing out curse words. He could sense the awkwardness in the air but he was just glad that everything went well. Seeing his dad in a good mood and enjoying the breakfast put Jungwoo’s mind at ease. He was happy because finally something went well according to plan, especially after the day _someone_ had ruined his entire vacation plan.

Everyone had a good time and talked to one another except for Yukhei, who kept silence and showing no interest in the conversation. Jungwoo noticed it, but he didn’t even bother to ask or throw a word across to him. He only wondered if it was common for him to act like that or if it was just because of the deal they had going. In contrast to his son, Mr. Wong kept asking him a lot of questions; and some of them were obviously unnecessary and very random.

“Jungwoo, did you sleep well last night?” asked Mr. Wong with a smile.

Jungwoo nodded right away and answered the question politely, “Yes, Mr. Wong. I did sleep well last night. Thank you for asking.”

“I hope my son didn’t cause any trouble for you.”

            Well actually _he_ is the trouble.

“You don’t have to worry, Mr. Wong. Yukhei didn’t cause any trouble at all.”

“Oh! Did you two become friends, already?”

            Never. There is no way we can become friends.

“Yes, Mr. Wong. Yukhei is very kind and fun. We are friends.”

“I am so glad to know that. Yukhei needs to learn so much from you. You are really polite and smart.”

            Of course, but first he needs to learn about etiquette because he is the worst in that aspect, no doubt.  

“Thank you so much for complimenting me, but Yukhei is a really smart person too. I enjoy having both random and serious talks with him.” Lies.

Jungwoo took a glance at his dad, who nodded proudly, making him feel relieved. He knew he did a good job even though all he did was fake a smile and lie. He hated lying, but he had no other choice. He especially felt bad for lying to a kind person like Mr. Wong, but he didn’t want to mess anything up. It wasn’t like he was lying the whole time, though. He smiled for the majority but sometimes he just had to fake it out to avoid causing a fuss or problem.

Mr. Wong turned his head from Jungwoo to face his son. “Yukhei, look at Jungwoo. You can learn a lot from him. I know you can be a great person like him.”

“Yeah, sure.” Yukhei answered without even facing his dad. He kept enjoying his breakfast as if the food was more interesting than his own dad.

“The food must be so good that you enjoyed it so much.” said Mr. Wong calmly; but Yukhei could notice the sarcasm. “I’m sorry my son is usually talkative but maybe he still feels jet lag or tired because of the long flight yesterday.”

“It is okay, Mr. Wong. I understand.” Jungwoo nodded slightly.

A sudden creak was heard in Yukhei’s direction; all eyes turned towards him, wondering why he stood up unexpectedly in the midst of a conversation. “I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. I will go back to my room first.” he stated coldly.

“Yukhei!” Mr. Wong raised his voice and glared at his son.

“Tired because of the long flight. Right, Dad?” Yukhei showed a sarcastic smile to the old man. “I’m leaving first.” He continued as he left the room just like that.

“I... will try to talk to him.” Jungwoo stood up after he put his cutlery neatly and bowed to both his parents and Yukhei’s.

It was not like Jungwoo worried about him or anything. He just couldn’t believe how Yukhei could behave like that in front of their parents. The fact that the peaceful breakfast plan was ruined really ticked him off. Why did everything mess up because of him?

Jungwoo walked faster to reach the tall guy who walked really fast with his long legs. Once he was able to stand behind him, he braved himself to speak up, “Hey.”

Yukhei turned around and stared at him with an annoyed look, enough to make Jungwoo feel relatively more irritated than before.

“You don’t have to go that far, right? You were so rude. My parents were there too, you know.”

“I just lost my appetite because I got fed up of all the lies.” He leered.

“I—”

“You are such a good liar, aren’t you?”

“I – I have no other choice.” Jungwoo stuttered.

“Both you and him are _liars,_ ” Yukhei grinned mockingly. “Congratulations now I have another reason to hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

“Good. It means our feelings are mutual. Fuck off _._ ” Yukhei pushed Jungwoo lightly, showing the hate toward him. He glared at Jungwoo once before leaving him speechless. Again.

Jungwoo froze in his stride. He couldn’t think of any word except for unbelievable, because it was shocking how someone as annoying as him literally exists in the world. He was about to explode but luckily, at the same time, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket which was enough to calm himself during that moment. He took his phone out of his pocket and saw one text notification on the screen. The sender was from no one but his dad, and he opened the text right away.

Dad: “You did an excellent job this morning. I am proud.”

Jungwoo smiled as he felt relieved. It’s as if all his lies were paid off by his dad’s praise. “Thank you,” he replied shortly.

Jungwoo scrolled through the messages and ended up reading the text he got from his dad in the morning for the second time.

Dad: “Have breakfast with us in 30 minutes. I do not want to hear any complaints from you anymore, especially about Yukhei. You always listen to me and I know you will not disappoint me. I don’t want any excuse.”

The smile slowly disappeared from his pretty face. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. He had no choice but to be obedient; no matter how much he hated Yukhei. To be called liar or whatever it is, he had to bear it all.

He was nothing but “Mr. Kim’s Next Successor” after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think about the story in the comment section <3 Have a good day!


	5. Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo didn’t want to admit, but deep inside his heart, he knew that Mr. Kim just saw him as his successor and not as his son.

Jungwoo never had a choice of freedom in his life. His school, his friends, and everything was according to Mr. Kim's will. He was raised with his parent’s strict rules and perfect expectations. Got an all A in both academic and sport, had the first business client in the age of 15, and won international competitions. His life was perfect, and no one would doubt it, but all of them were what Mr. Kim told him to. He felt happy and proud, but that was because he could fulfil what his dad wants, not because of himself.

In contrast with his personality, his dad was much more dominant and demanding; there was no way he could reject what his dad wants him to. He had no other choice than being obedient. He could get all thing he wants but freedom. Money, branded clothes, and even Michelin-star food; all he needed was ask, and he would get them all. No matter how much he craved for freedom, he would never get it as long as his dad alive.

People's expectation on him was high, but Jungwoo has never once felt bothered with that because it was nothing compared to what his dad expects. It’s not like Jungwoo was unhappy with his life; he liked to study, and he was not a social person in the first place, so when his dad started to forbid him to go out and stay home to study, he was okay with that.

He hated socializing too much, but it got worse after his dad put him in private school and forbid him to have too much friends. These things clearly turned him into a person who hates socializing if it's not for business or profit. He knew it was wrong, but it was already carved into his personality. It was not easy for him to change, especially when he himself felt that it was not a bad thing to be like that. _It wasn’t like he hurt another person with what he did, though._

He didn’t want to admit, but deep inside his heart, he knew that Mr. Kim just saw him as his successor and not as his son.

***

The entire day was like a cold war between Jungwoo and Yukhei. Neither of them had the desire to speak up to one another. Jungwoo tried to enjoy his vacation and talk to Mr. Wong about their future business and stuff, and Yukhei just stayed on his phone the entire day, ignoring everyone as if he didn’t have a single interest in the vacation; which was true. Two weeks seemed like a long time, but as the deal has been made, Yukhei got no choice but to bear with his enemy until they separate.

Yukhei wanted the night to come faster so he can sneak out again, away from Jungwoo and his fake personality. At first, Yukhei only thought of him as a very boring person who likes to nag about everything. But, knowing that Jungwoo was also a liar, it made him on the top list of the people he hated the most. He hated liars, and it was the fact that would never change in his life. He knew for sure that what Jungwoo did was a cheap play, so he could get a business profit from it. That was what everyone does when it comes to his dad and him, though. Everyone around him was liars, and that was why Yukhei always chose to go out and have fun on his own.

_Everyone is just the same._

Yukhei lost in his thoughts as he scrolled through his social media, looking at his friend’s update about random things. It was just few days since he left his hometown and he missed having fun with them already.  His friends were one of the reason he stayed in China. Or else, he would just run away to another county and leave Mr. Wong alone.

“Yukhei, can you put your phone, please?”

Yukhei stopped his thumb from scrolling through his phone and turned his head to look at the old man who stands before him. He was no other than Mr. Wong who already stopped talking to Jungwoo and ready to scold his son.

“Why should I do that?” Yukhei questioned back.

Mr. Wong frowned, “Don’t embarrass me in front of them.”

“Oh, that’s why you lied in the morning. You don’t want to get embarrassed in front of them.”

“I know you hate this vacation but can you please just like, appreciate me a little for bringing you here with me even though I don’t want to?”

Yukhei was amazed by how his dad could be so honest with him, not thinking on how his words could hurt him. He sneered, “Then why did you take me here too? You can just leave me at home.”

“Because they will question me about that.”

“It’s about that again. Shame on you, Dad.”

“Why is it so hard for you to behave rightly? Just like Jungwoo.”

The comparison game again. Yukhei got tired of it already. Mr. Wong did it every time, comparing him with Jungwoo even since they don’t even know each other. No one likes to be compared to another person, include Yukhei. It hurt him and his pride.

“You really like him, don’t you?” he mocked. “Yeah, you can just adopt Jungwoo and leave me the _fuck_ alone.”

“Yukhei! How dare you to speak up like that to your dad?”

“How dare you to tell me to behave rightly as if you have ever taught me about that?” Yukhei asked back, making his dad speechless.

What he said was true. His dad never even once taught him about that. All he did was scolding without thinking of what he has ever done before. He always left him at home, travelling around the world to expand his business and stuff. Never once he took time to stay home and spend time with his only son.

Yukhei huffed, “You always think about yourself. Leave me the _fuck_ alone or else they will start to notice this.”

“Watch your language.” Mr. Wong replied coldly and turned his back on his son.

Yukhei hated the fact that whenever they talk, it was only another argument and nothing else. He knew there wouldn’t be argument if only he listened to his dad. But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to listen to the man who did nothing but being self-center every single time. He just hoped that night would come faster for him to forget everything and have a good time outside.

But too bad life didn’t go as how he planned.

Jungwoo stood before him with his arm crossed over his chest. Yukhei cocked an eyebrow, wondering why the older blocking his way to the door.

“What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” Jungwoo asked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for the slow update as I had my final exam last week and I finished some stuff first;; I will try to update faster :) Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think about the story in the comment section <3 Have a good day!


	6. The First Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How about a game?" he asked.

“What are you doing?” Jungwoo asked back.

“Go out because there is no fun here.” Yukhei shrugged.

“No. Thinking about what has happened yesterday, I won’t let you sneak out and go back past midnight again.”

“Oh, come on, you’re not my dad.” The taller sighed, thinking about how the latter always ruined his mood. That day was tiring enough and getting into another argument with Jungwoo was the last thing he wanted to do.

“You went back drunk, with the reek of alcohol and a k-kiss mark,” Jungwoo stuttered over his word. “I don’t want to wake up to that.”

Yukhei rubbed his temple.  “Are you _fucking_ twelve? Can you just let me have fun? We have the deal. I didn’t make any problem with you, so you have to let me go out and have fun.”

“You did make a problem while we had breakfast.”

“I didn’t attack you or anything. Your parents didn’t say anything though.”

“We don’t know what’s going on through their heads.”

“Even if they get mad, they would be mad at me, not you. You don’t have to overreact about it.” 

“You don’t know how bad it would be when he gets mad,” he raised his voice. Jungwoo knew the best that his dad would never get mad at others; especially Yukhei because it could ruin his friendship with Mr. Wong. He would blame everything on Jungwoo – accusing his son for treating Yukhei badly, causing the younger guy to behave like that. “and it is better not to know.” he spoke up the truth.

Yukhei could sense the tension in the air and see the frightened look on the latter’s face whenever he talks about his dad. It’s not like Yukhei cared about him but anyone who sees that would definitely figure out how his relationship with his dad was; and it’s obviously not good. Honestly, Yukhei got a little curious about it. All he knew was how Mr. Kim always praised his son and bragged him off to others, which were also the reason why his dad compared him with Jungwoo most of the time. But no matter how he hates Jungwoo, he was not the type of person who likes to dig about other person’s family problem. His is complicated enough so there was no room left for butting into another person’s. Therefore, he just decided to get back to the main argument and fight for his night.

"Do you want me to sleep with you that bad?" asked the taller, putting his hands on his waist. Well, it was not the best question to divert the topic from the family thingy but Yukhei would do anything to get his freedom.

"What? Are you high?" Jungwoo widened his eyes in disbelief with what he just heard. 

"No, because you insist me to stay in the room with you." 

Jungwoo automatically raised his voice higher as he spoke up, "That's because I don't want my morning to get ruined again." 

Yukhei cocked his brow. "You ruined my morning. You _fucking_ kicked me off the bed." he scoffed, remembering thing that happened in the morning.

"It's been two days since we met, and we argue every time we talk. Can you please just listen to me?" the older groaned in frustration. He uncrossed his arms and rubbed his temple, facing up Yukhei was definitely one of the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

"Why should I listen to you? Can you please just mind your own _fucking_ business?" 

"Stop talking to me like that." 

 _Is he fucking twelve_ , Yukhei thought to himself. Even kids these days curse more than ten times a day. 

Yukhei tried to find a way to go out and stop Jungwoo from nagging at him. The so-called vacation was just like a prison to him. He couldn't do anything freely and he had to argue with Jungwoo whenever they talk to each other. Yukhei was mature enough to know that all the arguments were unnecessary, but they still happened anyway. Their personality just didn't match each other, leave alone the fact that Yukhei already hated him even before they met one another. It was silly, but who would be happy when your own parents hate you, calling you a mistake, and comparing you with someone else you don't know? 

He kept on thinking and thinking, trying to figure out a way to get out of the room. An idea showed up on his mind; it’s definitely not the best one but at least it’s worth to try. "How about a game?" he asked.

"A game?" the older asked back, tilting his head slightly and Yukhei answered with a nod.

Jungwoo laughed sarcastically. "You broke the deal so why should I listen to your nonsense idea?" 

"First of all, I didn't break the deal. That's how I talk to that old man all the time and I'm just tired with his bullshit. It made me lost my appetite." He explained, trying to defend himself.

Jungwoo let out a long sigh. "Okay, I will let you off this time because you only ruined the breakfast mood and not my dad's. Tell me about the game." 

"For the next two weeks, or less because finally two days have passed, you won't nag at me and you will let me go out at night," Yukhei scoffed, remembering how much Jungwoo nags at him for every little thing he does. "I won't make any problem and I will try to behave right in front of your parents." 

"Try?” Jungwoo protested. “You have to.”

"I don't want to lie and I'm not a liar like you, so I won't be rude, at least."

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. Thinking of how bad Yukhei’s personality was, it might be the best to just agree with that. It was not like he could trust the latter to stop making problem, so he decided to add another rule to the game. "Plus, don't get too drunk because the smell sucks and my parents have nose." he spoke up.

"Okay." Yukhei agreed.

"Because you call this a game, how about a penalty for those who breaks the rules?" Jungwoo questioned. He was aware how risky his question was, but it’s not that bad to give it a shot. He was sure enough he won’t break any rules. All he did in his life was following the rules his dad made, though.

"Why not?" Yukhei shrugged, kind of expecting that Jungwoo will blurt out with something like forbidding himself from going out the next day.

"If you break the rules then you can't go out the next day." Jungwoo stated, pointing his finger at the taller guy. _Wow, I was right,_ Yukhei thought to himself.

"If you break the rules then you have to pay one million." said the younger. Yukhei could figure out more or less that Jungwoo was the typical egghead – in a mocking way, of course. He might like to stay home, so it would be useless to give him the same penalty. Furthermore, everyone believed that he’s the good guy so even if Yukhei threatens to tell everyone about his real personality, it would be useless too. That’s why, the best solution was to involve money in the game.

"What? That's unfair." Jungwoo complained. Money was not a problem for him; he was rich, though. But still, wasting such amount for a nonsense game like that displeased him.

"And you have to pay five if you dare to tell my dad about it." Yukhei continued as if he didn’t hear the latter complain.

Jungwoo narrowed his eyes, feeling irritated. He parted his lips, wanting to give another complaint, but he rethought it again. It might be a good thing to agree, so he could give another penalty to the younger. Yukhei was more likely to break the rules anyway, which means there might be a chance for Jungwoo to get some millions from him. "Then you will have to pay me three million every time you break the rules." he said.

"Okay. Deal." The tall guy agreed. "Game starts now so let me go out right now." Yukhei pushed Jungwoo lightly to the side, making his way to the door and again, leaving the latter alone without giving him the chance to answer anything.

Jungwoo threw himself to the bed, wondering how easy for him to get played by Yukhei and his nonsense game. Logically speaking, he knew that it was a mistake to agree and accept to every rules and conditions. He just didn’t know how to deal with the guy who kept getting on his nerve. He never experienced such thing in his life before; it’s more like no one was dare enough to oppose or mess with Kim Jungwoo. He felt angry and annoyed, but deep down his heart, he also felt something else. Something that he couldn't figure out nor explain. Something that could make his heart beat faster than usual. Something that was too abstract for him to describe.

He thought it was just fear or anxiety, but it’s not.  

It was excitement, but he denied. 


	7. Faker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I won’t go back tonight.”  
> “Are you getting involved with something bad?”

A week had passed and Yukhei was amazed by how fake Jungwoo was in front of their parents. They talked normally in front of them, but when it’s just the two of them in their room, it turned to be a cold war at once. Yukhei didn’t fake anything; he just became his usual self. He answered whenever he got asked and stayed on his phone most of the time. He didn’t behave that bad or rude, so everything was fine. At least for him.

It was different for Jungwoo, who unexpectedly had lost twice against the younger. He himself couldn’t believe that he would break the first rule. It was really hard not to nag at Yukhei, who threw his clothes messily on the floor and walked around the room with just a towel around his waist. No matter how he despised him, everyone who has eyes would agree that Yukhei was stunningly sexy with his tone up abs and biceps. It wasn’t like he got aroused over it or anything, but it was hard not to look at those muscles. Jungwoo was gay, he discovered about it when he was in high school, but no, he would never be gay for Yukhei.

Jungwoo shook his head, not wanting to think about it again. He had lost two million already and he had to make sure that he won’t lost any more until he could get rid of Yukhei. Five days due, and he won’t be seeing the latter anymore. He just had to deal with him for the rest of the vacation. One thing he’s thankful for was the fact that the younger didn’t give him bad morning anymore. It’s not like seeing him sleeping next to himself was a good thing, at least it was not as bad as the first morning they had. Yukhei still went out almost every night and came back past midnight, but sober enough to shower before bed and didn’t hug Jungwoo during the night.  

It was 7pm that time and both just got back from another sightseeing – an interesting one for Jungwoo, and a boring one for the other. Silence lingered around the room, and it was not a comfortable one. Jungwoo stayed on the bed, and Yukhei, who didn’t want to be on the same bed with him more than necessary, chose to sit on the couch instead. The two of them played with their own phone, talking to their friends instead of the person that stayed in the same room as them. The only sounds that could be here were vibrate from their phone, or a little chuckle that slipped out of their mouth when they found something funny through their phone. No one didn’t even bother to ask about dinner or anything; as if they cared about one another, though.

The silence stayed for about an hour until Yukhei stood up from the couch, making the one on the bed flinched. “I won’t go back tonight.” said the standing guy, informing the other. He knew that Jungwoo would fined him with the penalty if he finds out he’s missing from the room in the morning.

“Are you getting involved with something bad?” Jungwoo asked straight to the point.

Yukhei rolled his eyes, does he really look that bad in the older eyes? Well, he behaves bad, but it doesn’t mean he does terrible thing every time. “No, I’m just meeting a friend, so I will stay at his place.” He answered. Jungwoo narrowed his eyes, not believing what the tall guy just said.

“Chill.” Yukhei walked closer to Jungwoo and showing his phone screen to the latter. Jungwoo scanned the screen, reading a short conversation between Yukhei and his so-called friend, Johnny. _Wow sounds like a fake name._ It looked like this friend _Johnny_ missed him and wanted to go out with him, in a friendly way. Jungwoo didn’t care at all, as long as the younger didn’t cause any unnecessary problem. He knew if he nags or complains anything, he would end up losing another cash; and he didn’t want to. “Okay. Have fun with _your friend Johnny._ ” he said sarcastically.

Yukhei sighed, putting his phone into his pocket and took his black leather jacket that was laying messily near his luggage. “I will go out now. I will tell the old man about it, so you don’t have to bother yourself asking penalty money from me.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Thank you for the pocket money by the way.” Yukhei mocked, putting his leather jacket on and checking his reflection in the mirror. He ran his hand through his locks and leaving the room without saying anything else. It took a while for Jungwoo to process the sentence, and he finally figure out that the _pocket money_ was the money he gave to Yukhei as the penalty. _Fuck it_ , Jungwoo cursed to himself.

Jungwoo got his focus back on his phone as it vibrated, and a name showed up on the screen.

_Favorite Hyung._

He picked up the call and heard the latter soft voice calling his name right away.

“Hi, Doyoung _hyung._ ” Jungwoo answered the greeting. Doyoung was the closest friend he ever had as they knew each other for years. Even though Doyoung was few years older than him, they had so much similarity that they ended up being friends. Both liked to study, so most of the time they hung out at the library. It sounded boring, but it was okay for Jungwoo who hates crowd and meeting new people.

“Are you busy? It’s so hard to contact you for the last few days.” asked the older with a worried tone. “Was everything okay?” he continued.

“I’m still on vacation right now and I’m dealing with one annoying person so—”

“Who’s that?” Doyoung cut the younger sentence out of curiosity. He had known Jungwoo for years, and it was the first time he complains about something like that. First of all, no one was dare enough to annoy Jungwoo. Second of all, everyone loved Jungwoo. Third of all, it was a vacation so there’s no way that person was one of the clients. Enough reason for Doyoung to expect some interesting answer from Jungwoo.

“My dad’s friend son. Do you know Wong Corporation from China?”

“Of course. It’s one of the leading company in the world. Don’t tell me—” Doyoung cut his own sentence. Think of it again, it is actually not a weird thing that the head of Kim Corporation and Wong Corporation knew each other; both were one of the biggest company in their country, though. They must be at least business partner or something like that.  

“Yes. Mr. Wong is my dad’s best friend. They studied together before.”

“Was the son that problematic?”

Jungwoo sighed. “More than problematic. This is the first time in my whole life to meet someone as annoying as him.” He set the call on speaker and put it down next to his head. Jungwoo stared at the chandelier above him. It was beautiful, and he just noticed it since he always focused on something else whenever Yukhei was around – either his phone, his book, or Yukhei himself; but he didn’t want to admit it.

“Isn’t he supposed to be a good guy? Like, his dad is a very notable person.” Doyoung flooded the younger with a lot of questions.

“He supposed to be. But in real life he is just a party animal.” Jungwoo explained shortly while playing with his fingers.

“Wow, one of your biggest turn off.” 

“He mocked me all the time and he cursed a lot. You know what, _hyung?_ We had a fight every time and we ended up in a silly game.” The younger complained, remembering the game they had. Doyoung’s ear perked up as he heard the word _game_ and he automatically asked, “Game?”

“It’s more like a deal but with penalty.” Jungwoo explained. “And I have lost two million in cash. _Fuck._ ” He rolled his eyes even though he knew the latter couldn’t see his expression.

“Oh my god, Jungwoo. You cursed.”

“Really? Hyung? It’s not the point but yeah, I did curse but it’s because I feel comfortable enough with you.”

Doyoung laughed softly and mumbled the word _sweet –_ loud enough for Jungwoo to hear him. “Where is he now?” he continued asking Jungwoo numerous of questions.

“He just went out with his _so-called friend Johnny_ so I’m happy I can be alone tonight.” Both his tone and mood rose up. Finally, after a week, he had the chance to wake up in a peaceful morning without the person he hates sleeping next to him.

“You sounded jealous and wow you two were sharing room together?”

“It’s because of my dad and I AM NOT JEALOUS.” Jungwoo made his voice louder – big enough for Doyoung to called it a shout. Jungwoo pouted. There’s no way he would feel jealous over such thing; it would be a waste of his time and energy. He just hated Yukhei to the extent he also disliked his friend, especially the one with a _sounds-so-fake-name_.

“Yeah sure.” Doyoung replied shortly in a sarcastic tone. Jungwoo rolled his eyes again as he moved to the other side of the bed and stared at the big window in front of him. The sky turned dark already and Jungwoo could feel his stomach grumbling; he had not eaten anything yet, though. But he still wanted to talk to Doyoung, so he decided to talk more until he can’t hold his hunger anymore.  

“How was your day, _hyung?_ ” Jungwoo finally asked something back to the older.

“It went well.” Doyoung answered shortly and stopped for few seconds before he spoke up again, “Hey, Jungwoo, there’s something that I have to tell you about.”

“What is it?”

“Jaehyun. He asked about you again. Are you still blocking his number?”

Silence. Jungwoo’s mood dropped so bad as soon as heard the name; to the point he regretted not to hang up the phone and go eat earlier. He didn’t want to hear the name again, leave alone meeting the owner of the name. “.... yes.” He mumbled.

“Don’t you think he deserve a chance to at least talk to you?”

Jungwoo narrowed his eyes. “Are you siding with him?” he accused, low-key feeling betrayed.

“No, I’m not. I just think that you should give him a chance to explain.”

“Explain? I don’t need any explanation.”

“He told me he wants to apologize.”

“You don’t know what’s on his mind.”

“But—”

Jungwoo frowned his brows and cut the latter sentence. “I don’t know about it either and that’s why everything messed up. I told you about this before, but I feel like you are on his side now.” he claimed.

“Do you hate him that much?”

“I don’t hate him. I just don’t want to associate with him anymore.” Jungwoo pointed out.

“Jungwoo, honestly I think you are being childish here.”

Jungwoo got irritated and tired. He was happy because Yukhei left but then his own best friend dropped the mood so bad. He got off the bed and picked his phone, ready to press the red button.

“ _Hyung_ , I’m sorry I feel tired and hungry, so I will hang up now. Talk to you later. Good night.” He said and hung up the call right away. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore and thanks to his stomach, at least he didn’t have to lie to Doyoung. He picked the room card from the table and walked out the room, heading toward the restaurant on the first floor to eat something good and lift his mood back.

On the other side of the city, Yukhei met up with Johnny, the one who sent him text messages before. They met few years ago and became friends because of their similarity; both were party animals and gamblers. They met by accident in the club, and by time, they got close to one another. Too bad they lived in the different sides of the world, so they couldn’t meet each other often.

“Hey, Lucas! It’s been a while.” said Johnny with a big smile on his face. Lucas was like a stage name for Yukhei; the one that he used at night, so people would not recognize him easily as Wong Yukhei from the Wong Corporation. “Make sure you bring a lot of cash tonight.” He continued.

“I just got few millions in cash so everything’s fine.” Yukhei spoke up.

“That’s my boy.” Johnny shrugged, feeling glad that the latter brought _some_ money with him.

“The last time we did this was years ago, so I hope you won’t be a _fucking_ loser tonight.” Yukhei pushed his friend lightly and smiling in a mocking way.

“Shut your _fucking blowjob lips_ because I will make you win a lot tonight.”

“You better be, or I will sue you to jail, _douche_.”  


	8. Jaehyun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A perfect guy fell in love with another perfect guy, sounded like a cliché love story with a perfect storyline, but it was a total opposite from that.

Jungwoo’s life was perfect, except for his freedom. He never had a choice of freedom in his life, but it was different when he fell in love for the first time. At least it was what he thought at first, when flower still bloomed, and rainbow was everywhere. Jungwoo was sixteen when he first found out about his sexuality. He didn’t like the opposite sex; it just didn’t work for him.

His first love was a fine man named Jaehyun, who was his senior at high school. He was perfect, not only in Jungwoo’s eyes, but also in everyone’s. He was smart, handsome, athletic, and rich; one of God’s best creation in the world. A perfect guy fell in love with another perfect guy, sounded like a cliché love story with a perfect storyline, but it was a total opposite from that.

Jungwoo loved him dearly, he would do anything for the older guy – he was his first love after all. He never left his mind, he was always there. Even just thinking about him sent butterflies to his stomach. Some people said that first love always ends up with a heart break, and Jungwoo didn’t believe it. He believed that Jaehyun will notice him one day, and he really did. Jungwoo braved himself to approach the older first, and it turned so well as he could get his phone number on their first meeting. They began to text each other, sending cute messages from good morning to good night.

Everything was perfect, everything went according to what he wants. But it was only until he knew the sad truth. Jaehyun never loved him, not even a bit. He liked someone else, and Jungwoo knew that he was only a substitute of him. But foolishly in love, it didn’t stop him from falling deeper and deeper. He just couldn’t stop the feeling, even though he wanted to. It hurt him, but he still believed that his love will look at him one day. So, there he was, standing right before his crush, brave enough to confess his feelings to him.

“I am sorry.” Jaehyun bowed deeply, apologizing to the younger.

Jungwoo could feel his heart breaking into pieces and tears ready to fell down his cheeks. But he didn’t give up. _I don’t want to stop here,_ he thought.

“ _Hyung,_ I know you love someone else. But I can’t stop falling in love with you, so can you at least consider my feelings?” he questioned. It was not like him to insist on something, but he didn’t want to lose Jaehyun just like that. He wanted him.

“You know about it. I can’t, Jungwoo. I am sorry.” Jaehyun apologized again, but it was not what the other wanted.

“You can think of me as him. I am okay with that.”

“I can’t do that to you.” Jaehyun shook his head lightly.

“Please just give me a chance to be with you. I will give you everything, so please just be mine even though it’s fake.” He begged. A smile showed up on his pretty face, but it’s obvious that it was a bitter one.

Jaehyun looked away, but Jungwoo knew that he was considering it. He realized that every message he sent was supposed to be for his crush, but they were all ended up in Jungwoo’s chat room. He was a fool, blinded by a thing called _first love_. But he didn’t complain. Jaehyun gave the affection he wants and the happiness he needs, it was more than enough for him to sacrifice his pride and heart to be broken. He believed he won’t sacrifice it for nothing. He believed that in the end, Jaehyun will return his feelings.

“I am okay being his substitute. You always think of me like that, don’t you?” he asked straight to the point, making the latter turned his gaze back to him. It was true after all.

“Are you a fool?”

“Yes, I am. I don’t mind about being a fool if it’s for you. Mind to give me a chance?” Jungwoo offered his hand to the other. Silence lingered on the air until Jaehyun finally made his decision. He lifted his hand slowly to end up holding Jungwoo’s hand. A smile spread wide on the younger’s face. “Thank you.” He said gladly.

            _It’s only because I know the feeling of unrequited love._

“ _Hyung,_ maybe you will love me back one day.” Jungwoo spoke up in excitement. Jaehyun didn’t say anything but chuckled softly and pat the latter’s head.

            _Don’t get your hope too high._

“No, I will make you love me back. I’m positive about it.” Jungwoo babbled, the smile never left his face. His eyes filled with happiness, reflecting what he felt inside his heart.

“Okay.” The older finally answered.

            _Just try. I will only look at you as his substitute after all._

Jaehyun smiled back and leaned closer to hug Jungwoo. It was only their first hug, but Jungwoo felt like he could die already. _It’s okay_ , Jungwoo thought to himself. Sacrificing his pride was nothing compare to be with Jaehyun. All he needed to do was loving him and waiting for him to love back. It might hurt a little, but he would just bear with it as he believed in happy ending.

A month passed by and Jungwoo felt like the happiest man alive. It was tough for the first weeks as he knew Jaehyun felt very awkward with his new relationship. But it was different then, Jaehyun softened and they started having a normal relationship like how you could expect from a common love story. They went on a date, hung out at each other’s home, and had sex for the first time.

It felt unreal for Jungwoo, giving all his first to the one he loved. But never once he thought about how the other feels or thinks as he lived in his own euphoria; which turned out to be the biggest mistake he had ever done. Never once he guessed that Jaehyun who embraced him so dearly and finally said the world  _love_ to him would end up leaving him once he had the chance to get his crush.

If only he could see Jaehyun’s expression when they hugged for the first time – the faded smile that hid behind the hug, it would be different. He wouldn’t feel his heart breaking so bad as he knew that there won’t be a chance for him to get his love requited. Not even a bit.

At the end, he realized that he really never had a choice in his life. Did he choose to be so heartbroken? No. Did he choose to be so in love with Jaehyun? No. Everything flew just like that, never gave him the chance to choose happiness or freedom even once. Everything was happened so fast when he was only sixteen. Being in love, being in a relationship, having sex, and having his heart broken for the first time.

The flower’s withered, the rainbow’s gone. He didn’t know that his first heartbreak would be hurt so much, as if his world crumbled into pieces and his heart torn into two. Some people said that first love always ends up with a heart break, and yes, it was true.

There was no happy ending.


	9. End-Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There won't be a next time, he thought.

It was a good day for Jungwoo because he didn’t have to be with Yukhei for two nights. There were just the four of them – Jungwoo, his parents, and Mr. Wong, chattering in a fancy café at the city center. Mrs. Wong was never there, but Jungwoo knew that it was the best for him not to ask anything about it. He realized that Mr. Wong never spoke up or ever mentioned her before – which means he shouldn’t know either. Neither his dad ever told him about it, but he was sure that his dad knew something. No one just didn’t want to talk about the thing. Jungwoo shook off those curiosity out of his head; _curiosity killed the cat_ and he clearly didn’t want anything bad to happen.

Jungwoo tried to think about something else but ended up thinking about the missing guy. He still didn’t know where Yukhei went but did he care? No. It felt peaceful, and Jungwoo could wake up with a smile in his ideal morning – a quiet and relaxed one, without worrying about walking on Yukhei’s half naked state or finding alcohol bottle near the bathroom door. Moreover, He didn’t have to be all fake in front of Mr. Wong or lose any cash for few days too, because Yukhei wasn’t there with him; which was great.

Finally, his vacation could turn to be a real one, even though he realized that it was more like a business trip. It wasn’t even close to the happy vacation that he had planned before. He knew that his dad just wanted him to get closer to Mr. Wong and Yukhei. It was all to maintain a good partnership with them. Mr. Kim wasn’t the type of person who would spend money on vacation to another country for nothing, moreover for two weeks long – leaving his company and stuffs. Jungwoo knew it all best, but he still felt thankful because he almost never spends quality time with his family like that. Their relationship was not that bad, but their communication somewhat stuck between a father-son relationship and merely business relationship. It was too stiff for a family and too many rules for Jungwoo to follow.  

Jungwoo was deep in his thought that he didn’t realize someone was calling his name, until he felt a finger slightly touched his shoulder. It was no other than Mr. Wong. Jungwoo apologized at once and took a glance at his dad, who furrowed his eyebrows in front of him. Jungwoo cursed to himself, he shouldn’t let himself drown in his own daydream. It was a mistake.   

"Jungwoo, what do you think of my son?" Mr. Wong threw a sudden question, which made Jungwoo blinked few times before processing the sentence.

"Yukhei was fun." Jungwoo answered as a smile grew on his face. A fake one, of course.

_He is demonic._

"Fun? Was he annoying?" Mr. Wong sounded worried. It seemed like he knew that his son was _that_ problematic.

"He talked a lot. But he wasn't annoying, you don't have to worry, Mr. Wong." 

_Actually, he is more than annoying._

Mr. Wong seemed relieved. He didn’t let the smile on his face fade away and spoke up, “I’m glad to know that. Please tell me if he does something wrong. You don't have to lie to me." 

Jungwoo nodded at once, as if he told the truth. "Okay, Mr. Wong." He agreed.

_First, I don't want to pay five million for being a blabbermouth. Second, my dad will kill me if he knows I talk bad about your son. I’m sorry I lied to you, Mr. Wong. I had to._

* * *

Yukhei grinned.

Finally, after wasting few days with his dad and Jungwoo, he could get his freedom again. Everything went well for him for the last two days. It felt amazing as he won a lot of cash from the casino. He lost some, but then he gained more. He only gambled for a year but no one in the casino would doubt him as a professional gambler. He was smart, and his partner Johnny was a good back up. It was easy for him to get millions in just two nights. Moreover, he could spend his night with some girls and not with the person he hated. Perfect.

Yukhei was only nineteen, but he had experienced a lot of things. He only lived once, and he wanted to live it to the fullest. Deep in his heart, he was afraid that he wouldn’t be the successor of his dad’s company. But think of it again, he was the only son so there was no way Mr. Wong would be brave enough to give his big company to some outsider. Besides, he was only nineteen so there would be some years before he could become the CEO – enough reason for him to enjoy his current life until he graduated from college. He didn’t have to worry about it. He would get the company, no matter how people doubt him.

Yukhei drowned in his own thought until someone put their arm around his shoulder. He flinched for a bit and turned back to see his friend standing tall behind him. “It’s just you.” Yukhei said, slightly disappointed.

“Dude, that was rude. Did you expect some chick to hug you from behind? You got enough yesterday.” Johnny rolled his eyes and sat next to Yukhei. They were at a local bar, drinking some alcohol to celebrate their win before.

“Still better than you.”

“How can you know that I wasn’t better than them?” he showed a sly grin. Yukhei shrugged and gulped down a shot. “Don’t be homophobic.” Johnny complained.

“I’m not. But if it comes to sex, I choose women.” The younger stated.

“You always said that just because you never experience men.”

“I have. It was great, but women are still better.” Yukhei smirked before he continued to talk. “I will stop _fucking_ women if I find a man who can pleasure me more.”

“Whatever.” Johnny turned away, showing no interest in talking with his friend anymore. He called the barista and asked for the best drink he had. The same went for Yukhei as he ordered more drinks from the barista. He didn’t mind getting drunk that night. He knew no one would nag at him in the morning or ask him money because of a _shitty_ game. So, he drank and drank, until he passed out and woke up in a hotel room with a beautiful woman sleeping next to him.

It was perfect for Yukhei. But it was only until he realized that he had to go back to his dad before the lunch time. He did promise, and Jungwoo might charge him some million if he didn’t get back and cause some unnecessary problem. Well, at least there was a good news – the day after that would be the last day of his so-called vacation. Which meant he just had to bear with all the drama until then.

Yukhei nudged the sleeping woman beside him. He didn’t know her name, but he didn’t care. They wouldn’t meet anymore after all. “Hey, wake up. I have to go before 12.” He said.

The woman slightly opened her eyes. She saw Yukhei and mumbled, “Another round?”

 _What the fuck._ “No. I’m in rush. Maybe next time.” Yukhei smiled back, but he knew there wouldn’t be a next time.

“You should just let me sleep and leave me with some cash then.” She pouted and got back to sleep, leaving Yukhei speechless. He just tried to be a gentleman, not wanting to leave without saying anything. But after all, _women are the same,_ he thought.

So, he got off the bed and looked at the clock on the bed side table. It was ten already and he knew he had to rush himself.

 

Yukhei arrived at the meeting place on time. His dad welcomed him and asking him some questions about what he did in the last few days, acting like he cared but Yukhei knew he didn’t care at all. Jungwoo walked closer to them and asked for a permission from Mr. Wong to talk with Yukhei for few minutes. Of course, Mr. Wong agreed right away, without any doubt. Jungwoo led the way to a corner that was far enough from their parents to hear their conversations.

“Did you have fun with your friend _Johnny_?” He asked sarcastically.

“I did. What do you want to talk about?” the younger scoffed, asking him straight to the point.

"So, tomorrow will be the last day of this vacation. Which means, the game will end tomorrow." 

"Yeah and I don't have to see your face anymore." Yukhei crossed his arms over his chest, showing how displeased he was with the current situation.

"We probably will meet again one day once we become the CEO. I hope your ugly personality will change already by then." Jungwoo laid his back against the wall, showing a smile that was obviously a fake. "But it only happens if you really can become the CEO, though." He stated honestly.

"What do you mean?" 

"With your personality right now, and your addiction to party and stuffs, I doubt your dad will give the company to you."

Yukhei frowned. "Everyone said that already." He said, and he hated that it was a fact.  

"Why don't you change then?" Jungwoo asked while tilting his head a bit, showing interest in what Yukhei would likely to answer.

"Not your business. Ask more, pay more." Yukhei uncrossed his arm and shoved his hand in front of Jungwoo, palm opened asking for the penalty money.

"Okay." Jungwoo stopped asking immediately, not wanting to lose any cash.

"Well with your personality, I'm sure your company will become bigger in the future, since you always sell your smile for business." Yukhei tried to attack back. More likely to advert the topic from himself to Jungwoo.

"It is how business works." The older defended himself.

"Full of hypocrites and lies." It was another fact. Business world just filled with hypocrites and lies, including his dad. Faker were everywhere, selling smile for business and telling lies only to save themselves from trouble. Egocentrics.

Jungwoo walked a step closer to Yukhei, pointing his finger at his face and trying to look intimidating. "You judge me as if your life is the best." 

"You're the one who judge me when you stated that I have ugly personality." Yukhei ranted, not feeling intimidated at all.

Jungwoo clicked his tongue. "It's a fact." 

Yukhei ran his fingers through his hair as he glared at Jungwoo who stood right before him. " _Egghead._ " He mocked.

"Stop calling me like that," Jungwoo stopped his sentence, thinking of a word that he could use to fight back. "you piñata head."

 _The fuck was that._ "What?" Yukhei raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Jungwoo repeated.

"Never mind. I will let you off this time just because tomorrow will be the last day." He stated, realizing that it was more than few minutes already and they had to get back to their parents. He swore to himself that it would be the last time for them to meet each other.

 _There won't be a next time_ , he thought.


	10. If Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only his personality wasn’t that bad, he probably would give a shot for Yukhei. But Jungwoo hated him to his guts, and even though he felt attracted to the younger, it was nothing but purely physical attraction. Nothing more.

Jungwoo stepped into the shower, toes flinching as they touched the chilled ceramic floor. It was a good day for him, since everything went well according to what he had planned before. He went out shopping, had fancy lunch and dinner, and talked a lot with Mr. Wong. Talking to Mr. Wong was fun as he could learn a lot from the old man. Mr. Wong’s personality was very different from his dad’s — he was more carefree and easy going in contrast with his dad who was very strict and demanding. The only thing he hated from talking to him was the fact he had to lie and fake his smile whenever Yukhei became the topic of discussion. Mr. Wong talked a lot about Yukhei – well no wonder because he was his son — but Jungwoo noticed that their relationship was not that good.

He learned a lot about Yukhei from his conversation with Mr. Wong. He found out that they only had 11 months age gap, and how Mr. Wong always compared the two of them even before they met each other. Jungwoo felt bad about it, but it wasn’t his fault so he just shook off the thought of feeling bad. It seemed like Mr. Wong noticed that Jungwoo might lie about his son’s personality because there was no way his problematic son could be a good person within a few days, but he didn’t talk much about it. _Maybe Yukhei wasn’t behaving that badly when he was around Jungwoo since their ages were close and Jungwoo was a good kid_ , Mr. Wong thought. Jungwoo tried not to ask much about Mr. Wong’s personal life, especially about his son because, as a matter of fact, he didn’t care at all.

Jungwoo let the water fall from the shower and touch every inch of his skin. It felt good to be in contact with warm water after spending all day outside. The water slowly warmed him, soothing his muscles and washing away all his tension. Even though it was a good day for him, it didn’t mean that Jungwoo could stop his brain from overthinking and worrying about every little thing – including how he behaved in front of his dad, and how he was afraid that he might make a mistake.

He tried to talk to Doyoung about it before, but he was not satisfied with what the latter had answered with. Doyoung told him to stop overthinking, telling him that there’s no way Mr. Kim would kick him out or anything just because he makes mistake. But no, Jungwoo knew that it was easy for Mr. Kim to erase his name from the family registry if he happens to make a single mistake and embarrass him in front of others. Jungwoo wanted to wash away that mindset. He tried, but he always ended up failing.

Jungwoo’s mind kept pondering over many things as he poured soap into his hands, spreading it throughout his body. The fruity scent of the soap filled the bathroom and mixed with the steam from the warm water. His body felt relaxed, but his mind kept thinking about his dad, Mr. Wong, and the person he wanted to think about the least: Yukhei. The next day would be the last day for them to meet each other — just thinking about it brought a smile to his face. They would probably meet again one day if Yukhei became the CEO of the Wong Corporation, which was impossible with his current personality.

Jungwoo learned from Mr. Wong that Yukhei had so many friends in his hometown, and he wondered how someone with a rotten personality like that could be friends with so many people. He might be nice to his friends but Jungwoo still didn’t understand why he would be so rude and impolite towards him. He remembered how the younger said that he hated him, and he was puzzled by that as they never met each other before. No one was ever hated Jungwoo, which made Yukhei the first person to hate him. It wasn’t like Jungwoo cared about it as their feelings were mutual, but at that moment, Yukhei was a total personification of the word _freak_ in Jungwoo’s mind.

Half an hour passed by quickly as Jungwoo drowned in his own though. The water still warmed his body but his fingers started to wrinkle, showing that it’s time for him to hop out the shower; he did. Jungwoo took a clean white towel from the hanger near the shower cube and wrapped himself in it. Drying himself, he changed into his navy silk pajamas and walked out the bathroom to find Yukhei already on the bed, sleeping tight in a fetal position. Jungwoo strolled near the bed, eyes on the sleeping guy. He couldn’t deny that Yukhei had a very attractive, handsome face. He looked innocent when he slept. No one would ever guess that he was so badly behaved if they look at his sleeping face.

Jungwoo sat on the bed and slowly laid his body down next to him, lying face to face with the younger. He couldn’t take his eyes off him. Ever since the first time they met, Jungwoo always thought of Yukhei as a very attractive person, it was too bad his personality was a total turn off. If his personality wasn’t that bad, he probably would give a shot for Yukhei. But Jungwoo hated him to his guts, and even though he felt attracted to the younger, it was nothing but pure physical attraction. Nothing more.

* * *

It was very rare for Yukhei to woke up earlier than Jungwoo. Maybe it was because he felt excited as it would be the last day for them to be together. He didn’t have to see Jungwoo’s fake smile and hear his lies anymore which was great. Yukhei got up from the bed and began his lazy morning routine before waking up his roommate — who was still drowning in his dream.

“Wake up, egghead. It’s almost 8 already.” Yukhei talked loudly and didn’t want to bother himself by touching the other. They had to be in the restaurant at 8 to have breakfast with their parents even though Yukhei didn’t want to. Jungwoo budged slowly, turning his body from the side to the center. He slowly opened his eyelids, seeing the blurry chandelier hanging on the white ceilings.  He scanned the room and saw Yukhei standing near the bed, with his casual white T-shirts under a black denim jacket and black ripped jeans. 

“Wake up, egghead. We will be late.” Yukhei repeated and Jungwoo replied with a soft groan. Jungwoo was always on time and it was shocking that he woke up later than the younger. He couldn’t believe that the reason he woke up late was because he stared at Yukhei’s sleeping face for God knows how long, causing him to sleep late the night before. He cursed under his breath and got out the bed, getting ready to start his day; the last day of his vacation and the last day for him to be with Yukhei.

 

Too bad, when it came to Yukhei, Jungwoo’s plan would never go as planned. He opened his mouth and blinked few times, feeling disbelief with what he just heard. “W-what?” he stuttered.

"We have decided that Yukhei will stay in Korea starting next week." said Mr. Wong with a smile across his face, repeating his sentence for the second time.

_What is this nonsense_ , he thought to himself.

Jungwoo slightly turned his head to Yukhei who sat next to him. He swore to God that it was the first time he saw someone showing a very disgusted face in front of him and his parents. Jungwoo nudged Yukhei’s leg with his, remembering him to be well behaved in front of his parents. Yukhei turned his head to face Jungwoo, furrowing his brows and literally mouthing _what-the-fuck-is-this_ as if Jungwoo knew what the hell was going on.

"We talked about it yesterday and it seems like Mr. Wong wants Yukhei to study in the same university with Jungwoo." Mr. Kim said while pouring sugar into his coffee.

"I heard that the business major is good, and there's a class for foreigners too. He told me that Jungwoo is an honorable student there so it's perfect." Mr. Wong explained, accompanied by Mr. Kim who kept nodding next to him.

It was true that the university had the best business major in South Korea, both for local students or foreigners, and Jungwoo was one of the honorable students there. But it didn’t mean that their parents could make a sudden decision like that, without asking for their opinions first.  

"Perfect?" Yukhei asked, trying to hold his mouth from spitting curse words.

Mr. Wong nodded, "Yes. Jungwoo can teach Yukhei Korean and business." He sipped his warm tea, ignoring his son who was clearly against the idea.

"You two will be partner in the future so this might be a great opportunity to get closer to one another." Mrs. Kim blurted out, finally speaking up after letting his husband talk all the time. "Didn’t you two get closer during this vacation?" She continued, starring at both Jungwoo and Yukhei who sat across her.

            _Well, it was because we don’t want to lose any cash because of the stupid game._

“Yes.” Jungwoo answered. His mom wasn’t as demanding as his dad, but both of them were just the same. No one in the house could defend him or back him up. He lived his entire life like that: obeying what his parents told him to and agreeing to whatever they decided.  

 “Jungwoo, are you against this idea?” Mr. Wong questioned him, staring into his eyes and Jungwoo knew best what the stare meant.

“No, Dad.” He nodded. It was obviously a forced answer, contradicting his own opinion and thought. He took a glance at Yukhei who just sighed and rubbed his temple. He knew that the younger was frustrated — he felt the same. He could guess that Yukhei was cursing and mocking him in his mind, thinking of how pathetic he was.

Silence lingered for a few minutes until Mr. Wong broke it up with a clap. He smiled as he felt satisfied with the final decision. He parted his lips and spoke up, “Great. The discussion closed. Enjoy your breakfast again, boys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Anna, my beta-reader and editor <3 ily!


	11. Pathetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was wrong. Everything was a mess.

It was still nine in the morning and both Jungwoo and Yukhei’s moods had dropped down already. The air at breakfast was filled with silence. Neither Jungwoo nor Yukhei enjoyed their breakfast as they lost their appetite right after the so-called discussion. The food tasted bland, their tongues felt bitter. They wandered around in their own deep thoughts, thinking about how their parents could do whatever they wanted just because they’re _parents_ and children must listen to them all the time.

Mr. Wong excused himself to go back to his room first because he still had some stuff to pack. Yukhei followed him, saying that he wanted to help his dad pack his stuff, but Jungwoo knew that he just wanted to talk about the sudden discussion with his dad. Jungwoo did the same as he moved his chair closer to the table, wanting to have a conversation with his parents.

"Dad, Mom, can we talk?" Jungwoo spoke up. Mr. Kim who just finished talking with his wife, turned his face to Jungwoo and nodded, "Sure, Jungwoo. What is it?"

"About what you and Mr. Wong said before,” Jungwoo paused his sentence, afraid that he would question the wrong thing. But he knew the question must be asked, “Why is it so sudden?"

"Yukhei's study?" The old man asked back and Jungwoo just nodded politely at the answer.

"We talked about it yesterday and we decided it was the best for Yukhei to study in Korea. Since the two of you will be partners in the future, it might be the best for him to stay here and study at the same university with you. Moreover, his dad will stay abroad for months, that's why he trusts Yukhei to you." Mr. Kim explained. His wife kept nodding at his sentence, agreeing to everything he said.

"But we are not that close." Jungwoo complained without raising his voice. He tried to maintain his politeness, not wanting to cause any problem with his parents.

"Aren't you two at least getting closer during this vacation?" Mrs. Kim asked, getting straight to the point. Jungwoo loved his mom, but he hated the fact that his mom never even once tried to listen and understand him. It seemed like she would agree with everything her husband said, including the possible idea of him kicking Jungwoo out of the family.

"We—” Jungwoo bit his bottom lip, feeling anxious and scared at the same time. He could guess where the conversation would end up, but at least he wanted to talk about it first.

"It's our final decision. Jungwoo, you won't disappoint me, right?" His dad asked with a smile showing across his face. _It’s not a smile, Jungwoo._

"Dad, I—" Jungwoo braved himself to complain, but he got cut off immediately. The air suddenly became tense, and the _smile_ started to fade away from his dad’s face. Jungwoo lowered his gaze, staring at his hands in his lap. He started to pick his nails as his heart beated faster.

"You won't disappoint me," Mr. Kim lowered his voice, but at the same time he showed authority in it. "Right?" he demanded.

"Yes, Dad." Jungwoo answered right away.

"Good. I don't know what your problem with Yukhei is, but I expect you to do well. Don't embarrass or disappoint me." Mr. Kim said clearly.  

"Yes, Dad." The young guy nodded, keeping his head down.

 _Pathetic_.

 

At the same time, Jungwoo’s guess was right. Yukhei complained to his dad as soon as he got the time to talk under four eyes with him.

"What the _fuck_ was that? Why did you suddenly tell me to study in Korea when you didn't even ask me about it first." He snapped.

"I did that for you." Mr. Wong answered easily as if it was what Yukhei wanted to hear.

Yukhei rolled his eyes. "You just want to get rid of me." His mouth felt bitter as he spat out the sentence, but he knew it was the truth.

"Partly, but mostly it's for your study. You have to learn a lot from Jungwoo, if you want me to give the company to you." The old man stated honestly. Yukhei felt hurt, but he tried to swallow everything and stay strong.

"Isn’t it obvious that you will give your company to me?" he asked while hiding the pain inside his heart.

Mr. Wong shook his head. "No. If you keep being like this, I will just sell the company to Kim Corporation when Jungwoo becomes the CEO." he said, putting his fingers under his chin.

"Are you _fucking_ serious? Can you just let me live peacefully in China?" Yukhei rose his voice, staring at his dad in disbelief. _Is that even possible? No, it must be just a threat._

"I should be the one to say that since you are the one who never let _me_ live in peace." The old man sighed.

"You just favor Jungwoo too much. I don't want to live in Korea no matter what you say to me." Yukhei scoffed as he looked away from his dad.

"You better listen to me or I will block all your credit cards and bank account. Yes, you can live in China but not in my house. Just live in the slum, without money and credit cards." It seemed like his dad already prepared the threat, knowing that Yukhei would be fully against his decision. The young guy clicked his tongue. He knew that money wasn’t everything, but the sad truth was, no one would be able to live in _this_ world without money.

"You really want to get rid of me." Yukhei groaned as he messed his hair out of frustration. He knew it from the first time the old man wanted him to live in Korea. He knew that his dad just wanted to get rid of him while keeping a good face in front of Mr. Kim and his family. He suddenly felt fatigued and nauseous, he loathed his own father and everything he did.

"It is the best for you too, Yukhei." said Mr. Wong while turning his back on his son.

Yukhei looked at his dad in disgust. Never once he thought that he would detest his own father like that. Blood rushed to his head, giving him the adrenaline to say something that shouldn’t be said.

"That's why mom left you." He said, followed with silence before his dad turned around to face him again, he frowned his eyebrows and slapped Yukhei’s cheek.

"Watch your words, _rat_. If you dare to embarrass me in front of them, don't even think of going back to China." Mr. Wong narrowed his eyes, looking back at his son with the same disgust face. Yukhei froze on his step while his mind trying to process of the thing that just happened. He knew his dad hated his mom the most, and he too, hated her guts. But seeing how his dad like that, he realized why that woman decided to leave the two of them.

"If you don't want me to embarrass you then why are you forcing me to live with them?" Yukhei snapped. His cheek stung as a shade of scarlet showed up on it. _It hurts._

"Because you were well behaved during this vacation. So, I hope that you can change into a better human if you live with Jungwoo." Mr. Wong shrugged, not realizing how his son hated the Korean guy just because of all his sentences and stupid comparison. _Jungwoo, Jungwoo, Jungwoo. Just get married with him already if you like him that much,_ Yukhei thought while rolling his eyes.

"Thanks, you are the best dad ever." He spoke up sarcastically.

“You are welcome. You are the worst son ever.” His dad answered lightly, not even noticing that his son was clenching his fist, breathing faster, and trying to stop himself from throwing up. He just looked away and left Yukhei alone in his current condition; didn’t even bother to ask or say anything.

Yukhei has never cried in his life except for when he accidentally heard a very heartbreaking sentence spat out from his own mother’s mouth years ago. But at that moment, he felt so hurt and his eyes were about to let a teardrop down his cheek. His dad was supposed to be the closest family he had, but money did change everything. He never listened to what Yukhei wanted because he had power. Not once did he try to understand his only son because he was busy with his job and money.

His heart raced, his breaths shortened, and he felt pain in his chest. He felt pathetic. In the end, he couldn’t stand by what he wanted because of this threat. He hated how money rules everything, but he knew he could not live without it. He learned it the hard way; no matter how much money he had he would never buy happiness. Every sin and sorrow caused were all because of money. It led to lies, creating a situation where the rich rule and the poor follow. Turning parents into beings that don’t care about anything except their money and fame; neglecting their children, being egocentric, and never trying to listen to what their children want. _Tragic._

If only Yukhei could trade all his money with happiness, he would do that without a doubt. Too bad that in this _fucked up_ world, everything was chaotic and he couldn’t do anything without money.

Everything was wrong.

Everything was a mess.


	12. HKG - ICN

Yukhei let out a long sigh as he put some of his clothes into a large, navy-colored suitcase. There were only two days left until he had to go to South Korea. He swore before that he wouldn't meet Jungwoo anymore, but since when has life ever agreed with what he wanted? Yukhei realized that he couldn't live without money – and even though he hated that fact, he had no other choice but to fulfil what his dad wanted – go to Korea and live with Jungwoo. 

Yukhei spent the last five days in Hong Kong with his friends. He had parties every night, spending time with his friends and _friends_ before he had to leave the country. Some of them were sad but some were laughing their ass off once they heard about the news. _That Wong Yukhei will go to Korea to study? I bet he will get kicked out from the university in less than a week_ , they said. Yukhei only rolled his eyes, he had to survive no matter what. If he got kicked out from the university, he was sure enough that his dad would kick him out from the family registry as well. 

This was not the life that the young guy had ever wanted. He craved freedom, he had it yet at the same time he didn’t. In the end, everything had to be what his dad wanted, not him. He never understood his dad, not even the slightest. As long as he didn’t embarrass his dad, everything should be okay. But, when he did that, his dad never once gave a damn about it. Mr. Wong was the only family he had, but the two of them could never understand each other. That was why Yukhei lost his way and searched for something that could filled the empty spot in his life – whether it was friends or fame. Everything that could make him feel loved, admired, and desired was everything that he could get from anywhere but his family, the one that supposed to be _home_ for him.

Yukhei tried to shrugged away any unnecessary thought from his mind and focused on his luggage. There were only two days left for him to be in Hong Kong; he had to finished his packing as fast as he could and make sure to live those two days to the fullest. He knew his dad would be furious about it, but he didn’t care at all – his dad was not the only one in the house who could be selfish.

He could be too.  

* * *

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

HONG KONG

•

•

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/140479285@N02/41718036295/in/dateposted-public/)

•

•

•

✈

•

•

•

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/140479285@N02/41718035975/in/dateposted-public/)

•

•

SEOUL

 

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

**FAUX PAS**

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

 

**© TEXTURAMATIC** **2018**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short because this is a transition chapter :) They hate each other to their guts, is it possible for them to be in love? Look forward to the upcoming chapters where Yukhei and Jungwoo will start to live together in Seoul!


	13. Restart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukhei had to realize that he was not in his fucking home in Hong Kong anymore – he was going to have to follow the rules and listen to Jungwoo.

Yukhei stood in front of the Kim residence's front door. The house looked like a mansion from outside, with its large garden and fountain in front of it, the door was made of wood and glass with black, metal knob. Yukhei pressed the bell, and it wasn't long for the door to be opened by an old woman. She looked at the young guy's face and took a glance at the large suitcase beside him. 

"Who are you, may I ask?" The old woman asked.

"Yukhei. Wong Yukhei."

The old woman smiled as she bowed and opened the door wider to allow Yukhei to enter the house. 

"Welcome to Kim Residence, Mr. Yukhei. I have been informed of your visit by Mr. Kim. Please wait in the living room, the young master will be meeting you soon." she greeted politely.  

Yukhei nodded and walked inside the house. The interior was dominated by white color and brown accents – everything was placed neatly and looked minimalistic with a large couch at the center of the room and chandelier hanging above it. Yukhei walked towards the couch and sat on it, waiting for the owner of the house to come out. He looked around, scanning the house that he would be living in, starting that day. It was as spacious as his house in Hong Kong, only the interior was very different from his. Yukhei sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, focusing on the screen instead of his surroundings; not noticing the guy he was waiting for walking down the stairs behind him. 

"Welcome to Korea, Wong Yukhei. How are you?" Jungwoo spoke up, making the younger turn his head to see him while walking down the stairs with a smile across his face. The smile was obviously a fake one as there was no way he would be happy in the presence of Yukhei. 

"Horrible." Yukhei answered, glaring at the smiling guy. It had only been two hours or less since he arrived in Korea, yet he wanted to go home already. 

"I'm so glad to know that. I will show you your room and tell you some basic rules that you have to follow." the smile slowly faded, showing the true nature of the Korean guy. He stopped in his tracks and tilted his head, giving Yukhei a sign to stand up and follow him to the second floor. 

"Don't expect me to follow the rules," said the younger as he stood up and strolled over to the stairs.

"This is my house and you are not in China so you better listen to me if you don't want anything bad to happen." Jungwoo threatened, feeling superior since he was in his own territory. He glared at the tall guy who walked closer to him, bringing his big luggage with an irritated look.

"You will just threaten to tell my dad about it." 

"You know me so well." Jungwoo smiled again in a sarcastic way. Actually, he was not the type of person who would threaten others, but he had no choice whenever it came to the guy in front of him.

Yukhei sighed loudly, too tired and too irritated to even rage or complain about anything. The flight had not been too long, but the fact that he had a so-called _farewell party_ the night before had made him exhausted and sleep deprived. He followed Jungwoo from the back and they reached the second floor in no time. It was not as spacious as the first floor; it looked more like a hallway with some rooms aligned next to one another. No one spoke up and silence lingered in the air – only footsteps could be heard.

Jungwoo walked fast, as if he wanted to finish his _job_ to introduce the house as soon as he could and return to his room again, unbothered. They passed the rooms one by one, until they reached a room located in the corner of the hallway. Jungwoo stopped and unlocked the door – breaking the silence with the sound of a key turning in a lock. He opened the door wide and turned to face Yukhei. "This is your room. Too bad the only available room is the one next to mine. Don't be too loud because you might disturb me." He warned.

"Okay." Yukhei answered shortly.

"Put your luggage inside and I will tell you some basic rules in this house.” Jungwoo pointed his finger to the room, ready to state all the rules to the tall guy.

Yukhei went inside the room and put his luggage near the dresser. The room interior was also all dominated with white – both wall and tiles. There was nothing much there except for some basic furniture which gave the impression that no one ever slept there. Yukhei looked around his new room for a bit before staring back at Jungwoo who stood by the door, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Are you done?” Jungwoo asked in impatience, eyebrows knitted together.

“Go ahead, egghead.” Yukhei answered without making any eye contact, but he could feel the glare the older gave him.

“First, this is my house so you have to listen to me.” Jungwoo stated, showing his index finger.

“That’s _your own_ rule, not the _house_ rule.” The younger scoffed as he took a glance at Jungwoo who was trying to look intimidating – too bad it didn’t affect him, not even in the slightest.

Jungwoo shrugged and continued to state his own rules, acting as he didn’t hear any complaint from the latter. “Don’t curse, especially in front of my parents, the butler, and the staff.”

“Well, _fuck._ ” Yukhei cursed while grinned mockingly. Jungwoo tried to stay calm – which was hard because at that moment, he really wanted to snap and cast the younger out the house – even though he had just arrived in less than an hour ago.

“Don’t bring too many friends. It is better if you don’t bring any at all.” He continued, pointing his index finger at Yukhei’s face. He knew that Yukhei was a social butterfly, and that was why he decided to make such rule.

Yukhei pouted. He could figure out that the older wouldn’t have that many friend – he couldn’t bring them house, though. If there was such rule like that in the house, there was no way that Jungwoo would have a social life with his friends.

 “No alcohol nor party music.” A sly grin showed up across Jungwoo’s face, showing the satisfaction he felt by enforcing that rule.

“Boo, you are no fun at all.” Yukhei mocked. Honestly, he didn’t really care – it was only a house rule, which meant he could still drink and party when he was outside the house.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes, "Whatever. For food, there's a cook so you can just ask for it."

_Well, I won’t be home till night any way_ , Yukhei thought to himself.

"Last but not least, the most important rule. My parents will get home at 11 pm every weekday. Make sure you get home before them." Jungwoo stated with a low voice, giving the taller a serious look upon his face. There might be chance for Yukhei to break the other rules, so that was why he stated that the last rule was the most important one. He would never want Yukhei to come home past midnight and meet his dad in the living room.

Yukhei frowned, ready to snap at the guy in front of him, "A curfew? Seriously? Are you fucking twelve?" 

"Stop cursing." Jungwoo sighed. It was only minutes since he began stating the rule and he had broken one already. He cursed in the back of his mind, hoping the other guy to realize that he was not in his fucking home in Hong Kong anymore – he was going to have to follow the rules and listen to Jungwoo.

"Fuck you." Yukhei defied, walking closer to the older and putting his hand on the door next to Jungwoo’s head – closing the distance between them. Jungwoo flinched a bit at the sudden intimacy. He hated to admit that he was supposed to be the one who look intimidating, but no, Yukhei became more intimidating by just standing close to him with his tall figure and eyes glaring at him.

"S-Shut your mouth, Yukhei." He stuttered, avoiding eye contact with the tall guy in front of him.

"How about the weekend?" Yukhei asked, hoping that he would be free at least on the weekend. Well, it’s not like he would be home that often any way. If he was outside and the clock struck past the curfew, he would just spend the night outside – that was what he did before in Hong Kong; avoiding his dad at home and spending the night at a hotel or somewhere else.

"My parents won't be home on weekend but that doesn't mean you can go out all you want." Jungwoo could lie by saying it was the same for the weekend, but he had learnt how Yukhei hated liars. If he knew the truth, he might just go all out and simply break all the rules – and that was the last thing Jungwoo wanted to happen.

"You are not even my dad so why should I listen to you?" Yukhei leered as his left hand ran through his brown locks.

Jungwoo tried not to get distracted by how attractive the latter was at that moment and focused on the main problem instead, "I repeat, this is my house and you are not in China. You better listen to me if you don't want anything bad to happen." 

"I repeat, _fuck you_." Yukhei cursed again. His eyes still set at the older guy who sighed loudly and cursed back a lot inside his head.

"Stop cursing, Yukhei. Are you a boy in his rebellious stage?" Jungwoo questioned in a sarcastic manner. He swore that staying calm in front of Yukhei was a challenge. No, it was not because he was nervous or shy, but because he had to refrain from snapping back at him – refrain from pushing him down the floor and maybe even committing murder.  

Jungwoo sighed again, glaring back at Yukhei. “Any question?”

"Recommend me places to go." The younger answered immediately as if he had planned to say that from the beginning.

"Places?" Jungwoo raised an eyebrow.

"Club? Bar?" 

Well of course he would ask about such places. Jungwoo shook his head. "I don’t know.”

"Mall?"

Jungwoo pouted, trying to remember the place. It was silent for a minute before he parted his lips and spoke up, "I guess there's one near the university. But I've never been there before." 

"Amusement park?" Yukhei raised his voice, hoping for a different answer this time.

Jungwoo shook his head again, "I've never been to amusement park, so I don't know." He said honestly.

"Seriously? Do you live under the rock all time?" Yukhei asked mockingly. Jungwoo was the first person he had met who didn’t know about such things – even some of his friends back in Hong Kong knew about a lot of underground places and stuff. What kind of life that the Korean guy lived to the extent where he didn’t know anything like that?

"I know the biggest library in town." Jungwoo tried to at least recommend a place.

"Wow! It must be fun to spend my weekend at the library!" Yukhei spoke loudly as if he was excited to know, but it was obviously fake.

"Well, it is." Jungwoo mumbled. It was normal for him to do that – spending the weekend at the library with his friend Doyoung.

Yukhei cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. He didn’t say anything, but deep inside his heart, he felt pity toward the other guy. None of them spoke up, creating an awkward silence between the two of them. It felt uncomfortable and Jungwoo just wanted to end it as soon as possible, so he broke both the silence and his eye contact with Yukhei, "I don't like going outside and I hate crowds," He said, finally.

Jungwoo knew that Yukhei was mocking him inside his head and he felt embarrassed. He knew almost everything about business and science, but the fact that his enemy found out that he didn’t know anything about such simple things was enough to make his cheeks turn red out of embarrassment.

He felt his cheeks became warm and he just wanted to run away from the situation. It was very different from what he had planned before as he thought _he_ would be the one who would lead the conversation and Yukhei would end up following his rule, but in reality, it was him who became all embarrassed and tried to run away from the younger.

"We will go to university at 8 am tomorrow. Don't be late." Jungwoo spoke up without facing the guy – obviously not wanting him to see his red face. "Don't try to sneak out at night. Just. Don't." he continued with a voice higher than before. He pushed Yukhei lightly before taking a step backwards and walking back to his room –  a place where he could disappear and hide himself from the embarrassment.


	14. Social Butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all, Yukhei was a social butterfly; he could not survive to be alone forever – he needed friends.

Jungwoo started a new semester and Yukhei enrolled as a new student at Seoul National University. The university was considered to be the most prestigious university in the country along with the best business major in South Korea. It had its own library and museum while being facilitated with millions of books from all around the world – it was no wonder why Jungwoo was very happy when he first enrolled. Learning new things was a passion of his – it caused excitement to bubble in his stomach whenever he got the chance to learn something new. That was why he felt excited when he had the game with Yukhei; the one where he had mistaken his feelings as anxiety and anger. He thought that there was no way he could ever feel excited because of Yukhei’s stupid game. There was just no way.

Jungwoo finished their admission and decided to accompany Yukhei to the language department where foreign students attended classes. It was not as big as the main building since there weren’t as many foreign students compared to the number of locals, but the building was very modern with a digital library and audiovisual room. It was rare for Jungwoo to be there, especially when the reason for his visit did not involve the library. He walked in a fast pace, following Jungwoo was Yukhei who was behind him. Neither of them were bothered enough to talk to each other – they acted like strangers instead, blending with others students around them.

“Jungwoo.”

A voice heard from behind making him turn his head to look in the direction of the guy who just called for him. “Doyoung _hyung._ ” He said as the older guy approached him. Both Jungwoo and Yukhei had stopped walking, Yukhei wanted to walk away and leave him but that was too bad because he didn’t know where his class was – giving him no other choice than to wait for Jungwoo. His eyes set on the stranger that approached Jungwoo before turning his focus to his phone. He was kind of surprised that Jungwoo actually had a friend, but after looking thoroughly at the guy, he was not so different from Jungwoo – typical eggheads.

Jungwoo smiled when Doyoung stood before him. It had been a while since they met face to face, let alone spoke to each other. He remembered the last time they talked was when they had that phone call, and he realized he had not properly apologized for hanging up the call before Doyoung answered him. “I’m sorry for being rude before. I wasn’t mean it that way.” He bowed a little, apologizing sincerely to the older. 

Doyoung chuckled and ruffled Jungwoo's hair, "It's okay, I know. What are you doing here?" he asked. 

Jungwoo pouted and tilted his head a bit toward Yukhei's direction. "I have to show him his classroom." he answered while making an annoyed face. 

Doyoung turned his head to see the guy that the younger man talked about. Yukhei was scrolling through his phone, opening his socials and chatting with his friends – unaware that he was being spoken about. Doyoung stared at him, eyes scanning the tall guy from head to toe. Not only Doyoung, some of the students that were passing by also took a glance at Yukhei. Jungwoo noticed it as he saw some students turned their head to look at the Chinese guy. No wonder, Yukhei was tall – almost a giant – especially in comparison to other students. Furthermore, he had the visuals that anyone would die for – big eyes, sharp nose, and plump lips. He was physically attractive and Jungwoo totally agreed with that. 

"Oh, is he perhaps," Doyoung turned his head back to face Jungwoo "the one from Wong Corporation?" He asked, remembering the last phone call they had and how Jungwoo ranted about a person that annoyed him to his guts. 

"He is." Jungwoo sighed. 

"He's far more handsome than I thought he would be." Doyoung widened his eyes. He thought that the annoying party animal that Jungwoo talked about was more like a delinquent look alike, but in contrast, he actually looked like a prince – maybe a dark knight. 

Jungwoo took a glance at Yukhei for a second before facing the older again, "Well, not going to deny that, but his personality is terrible." He leered. 

"I'm actually surprised you didn't jump on him when you two shared room together." Doyoung grinned. 

"Do you think that I would jump on anyone just because of their face?" Jungwoo raised his voice, feeling offended. He tried not to speak too loudly as he didn't want anyone, particularly Yukhei, to hear their conversation. 

"Not closing the possibility," Doyoung continued, "he is hotter than Jaehyun." 

Jungwoo crossed his arms over his chest, feeling more annoyed after hearing the name. "Hyung, is it that hard to stop mentioning about him?" he complained. 

It was not like Doyoung wanted his best friend to get back to his ex-boyfriend again. It had been four years since the two of them broke up but Jungwoo had never once took a glance at another man; which made Doyoung wonder if Jungwoo still had feelings for Jaehyun. He did block him everywhere and refused to talk about him, but Jaehyun was his first love and Doyoung knew how much Jungwoo used to loved him. He loved him more than everything, he sacrificed his own happiness knowing what the outcome would be; just to be with him.

Doyoung was the only person who knew about how they broke up, and it was the first time he had seen Jungwoo cry painfully into his arms. He did punch Jaehyun right in the face, but it was not like he hated him or anything – Jaehyun had warned Jungwoo about his situation and the younger had agreed to become only a substitute. In his opinion, he couldn't fully blame the fault on Jaehyun. 

"Okay, okay." he said, sighing softly before continuing his sentence "Now you should go back to that hot guy right there." He pointed out his index finger toward Yukhei and grinned as he saw Jungwoo rub his own temple. 

"His name is Yukhei, not hot guy," Jungwoo spoke up and patted his best friend’s shoulder. "Then, talk to you later, _hyung_." he finished as he smiled at Doyoung and walked past him, making his way toward Yukhei who was still playing with his phone. 

The smile immediately left his face once he stood in front of the tall guy. A simple 'hey' spat out from his mouth, making Yukhei diverted his eyes from his phone screen to Jungwoo. "You are so fucking fast, egghead." he said sarcastically. 

"Shut up, you piñata head." 

* * *

 

Yukhei entered his new classroom and amazed by how spacious it was. His previous university was much smaller than this as it was not even close to being a prestigious one. It was not like he could not make it to the most famous university in Hong Kong anyway – it was only because most of his friends went to a normal university where they weren’t surrounded by ambitious students who would kill anyone to protect their rank. He wished that he could get new friends who had the same lifestyle as him at the new university or else his life would be so much worse than the way it was already. 

Yukhei took a glance at his surrounding and he noticed that the room was filled with foreign faces. It really was a class only for foreign students, which slightly eased his mind as he didn't have to communicate with others in Korean language. Mr. Wong told him to learn Korean from Jungwoo, but did he even have any interest in it? No. Not even the slightest. Maybe he would be okay if anyone but Jungwoo taught him, but too bad the only Korean he knew at that moment was him – even though he preferred not to know him at all. 

"Hey, this is the first time I’ve seen you here. Are you, perhaps a new student?" someone approached Yukhei once he sat in his new seat. Yukhei turned to face the voice's owner and found two guys were standing near his desk. 

Both had pretty faces; Yukhei noticed that in a second. One of the guys wasn't that tall, but the other one might almost be as tall as him. The shorter guy smiled widely, waiting for him to satisfy his curiosity.

"Hi. Yes, I am." Yukhei replied with a smile. 

"Where are you from?" 

"Hong Kong." 

"Oh, he came from Wen Zhou, China. Maybe you will get along with him." The smiley guy pointed out his finger at his friend who stood next to him. 

"Hi. I'm Sicheng. Dong Sicheng." He offered his hand to Yukhei, and the latter gave him a hand shake immediately. 

"Hi. I'm Yukhei. Wong Yukhei." he introduced himself back and received a cute smile from the latter. Even though they were not from the same hometown, Yukhei was glad that he could know someone who also came from China.

“I’m Ten, from Thailand. We are seniors but we just happened to take this class now so here we are.” The other guy explained.

“Nice to meet you two.” Yukhei gave them a wide smile, the first one he had since he had arrived in Korea. He loved meeting new people – anyone but Jungwoo – and he was glad that he could potentially make new friends there. He still hoped that both Ten and Sicheng were not the type of ambitious people that he avoided, but he should at least try to socialize first. After all, Yukhei was a social butterfly; he could not survive to be alone forever – he needed friends.

“Nice to meet you too, Yukhei.”


	15. 23:45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was only started with a simple ‘do you drink alcohol?’ and then the three of them – Yukhei, Ten, and Sicheng, who was always dragged along, ended up at Ten’s favorite club all night.

A few weeks had passed and their relationship was still the same. For the very first few weeks, Jungwoo scolded him a lot, but Yukhei never listened. They fought almost every day, bickering about how Yukhei always broke the rules and how Jungwoo always nagged him. Yukhei tried his best to avoid Jungwoo’s parents by staying out for a few days during each week. And, in fact, Jungwoo did not have a problem with that – it was good for him since he didn’t have to meet the younger that much.

After those weeks passed by, the relationship changed a little – not for the better, but for the worst instead. They kept giving each other the cold shoulder, not even bothering to throw words at one another even when passing in the hallway. Both of them got back to their own lives, trying to forget the fact that they lived under the same roof – let alone the reason Yukhei moved to Korea.

Jungwoo got back to his usual life happily – filled with schedules, plans, and tasks. And this, for him, was satisfying – following schedules, doing things according to plan, and simply having the same routine every single day. But for Yukhei, Jungwoo’s life was the epitome of boring. He didn’t care about him, and neither did he care about his own life, but it was obvious that Jungwoo’s life was like a bird in a cage – trapped and yearning for freedom. He really never went outside except for university, the library, or business trips. Jungwoo spent his days studying and reading books because meeting different words, sentences and paragraphs was so much better than meeting Yukhei – it was the reason he chose to lock himself in his room or the mini library inside the house.

The good thing was that Mr. Wong didn't call to ask about his son so Jungwoo didn't have to fake anything and pretend that Yukhei was there all the time when in reality they even barely saw each other. Yukhei didn't break the rules anymore, but that was only because he stayed outside most of the time. Jungwoo didn't complain about anything – he was content with the fact that he didn't have to deal with the troublemaker, therefore, avoiding getting into any unnecessary trouble. Instead of dealing with Yukhei, Jungwoo drowned himself in the books as it was what he had done for the past years to distract his mind from reality and the negativity within. At first, it was to distract him from thinking about Jaehyun and his heartbreak but, as time went by, it formed one of his habits.

On the contrary, Yukhei spent his days hanging out with his new friends – mostly at the night clubs. If Mr. Wong thought that Yukhei would stop partying in Korea, he was wrong. There might be a bond between Yukhei and the club as the new friend he got, Ten, was a total party animal like him. It seemed like fate finally given him a chance to be happy by pairing him with the Thai guy. It was only started with a simple _‘do you drink alcohol?’_ and then the three of them – Yukhei, Ten, and Sicheng, who was always dragged along, ended up at Ten’s favorite club all night.

Finally, after spending few weeks in horror, Yukhei could say that his life in Korea was not as bad as he had initially thought. Living with Jungwoo was the worst, but spending time with his friends was amazing – especially when his dad was not there to limit his freedom and prevent him doing things that he loved. Yukhei was glad that neither Ten nor Sicheng were studious, or else he would have to bear with more eggheads besides Jungwoo.

The club was far from the Kim Residence and was located in the center of the city, surrounded by tall buildings and luminous headlights. Loud music could be heard from the outside as people walked into the club, slipping in among the crowd and grinding their bodies one against another. Ten said that the club was also famous among fashion models and Yukhei agreed with that as he saw so many good looking people around them. Usually, he would go straight to them and flirt, trying to take them to bed. But during that time, the only thing Yukhei wanted to do was drink and talk to his friends – too lazy to dance or flirt, however still craving the alcoholic high.

Yukhei asked the barista for the club’s best drink and, without a doubt, it really was the best; it was different from the ones he usually had when he was in Hong Kong. Well, some people said that no matter where you are, alcohol always tastes the same and, once you are drunk, even water tastes like vodka. Still, it was different for Yukhei who had consumed it for years and had tasted endless types of alcohol from the cheapest to the most expensive ones. Actually, Yukhei was not a fan of the bitter taste, but what he really liked was when it boozed him up and got him intoxicated. A good taste was only a plus point for him, which was also the reason he drank so much – to a point where Sicheng got worried.

"Yukhei, you should stop drinking. Don't drink too much." Sicheng said, worrying about his friend who seemed to be drunk already.

"It's okay. Don't nag or else you will be like Jungwoo." Yukhei answered. He still could differentiate everything around him, so he guessed that he had not drank that much – making him ask for more and more, therefore not realizing that although he could differentiate his surroundings, he could not stop himself from blurting out everything on his mind.

"Jungwoo? I think I have heard his name before somewhere." Ten asked while sipping his own drink. Luckily, both Sicheng and Ten has not drank that much or else who would take care of the big guy who kept downing shot by shot? Well, some stranger would probably take care of him, in bed though that is.

"Kim Jungwoo from the regular class." Yukhei spoke up while looking at Ten who seemed to know the said guy.

It didn’t take long for Ten to nod and throw more questions, trying to confirm if his guess was right. "Kim Jungwoo as _that_ Kim Jungwoo? The honorable student? From Kim Corporation?" He asked.

Yukhei nodded. "I live with him and I swear to God he nags a lot."

"You _live_ with him? Wow, that’s impressive." Ten’s eyes widened as if he just won the lottery. Even though they had been friends for few weeks, Yukhei was not the type of person who liked to talk much about his personal life – except for when he got drunk. He would rather listen to his friends and talk about anything else but his life. Yukhei learnt the hard way that some people only wanted his money once they knew that he would be the next CEO of the Wong Corporation, and that was why he never purposefully spoke about it to them.

"Why do you look amazed? He isn't that amazing. He is just an egghead, studying all the time and never going outside. He really lives under a rock you know?" He leered.

Despite the fact that he almost never spent his time inside the Kim Residence, Yukhei had a good enough understanding of the way Jungwoo lived. And as a person who lived his life to the near fullest, he slightly pitied Jungwoo who had a life like a bird in a cage. Well, it might have been his choice to live his life like that, but there was just something that bothered him. He couldn’t quite place a finger on it but it stirred something he had made sure to bury deep down in his memories from his past. And regardless of the fact that he couldn’t pinpoint what its source, something told him he didn’t want to know.

"I guess that's because his dad is a reputable person. But his life seems perfect, though. Visuals, intelligence, money – he has them all." Sicheng finally spoke up and Ten nodded few times, agreeing to his statement.

"No. It’s not as perfect as it may seem. He has no freedom at all, and because his dad is a reputable person, he has to live according to what his dad wants." Yukhei blurted out without realizing how relatable the situation was for him as well – except the fact that, instead, he had chosen to rebel against his dad and live differently even though sometimes he didn’t have a choice but to obey.

"How about you take him out with us next time?" Said the Thai guy, suggesting something that caused the drunk guy to shake his head right away in response.

"What? No. I hate him. I don't want him to ruin my fun. Also, he doesn’t like going outside or meeting new people." He declined.

Sicheng chuckled before throwing a grin at Yukhei, "You know him so well, don't you?"

"I don't and I don't want to.” Yukhei rolled his eyes, thinking that he might be the one who was sober and Sicheng was the drunk one for asking him such stupid question.  

"You know his imperfections when everyone sees him as perfection."

"Whatever." Yukhei shrugged, acting like he didn’t hear anything and took another shot as if it could drown out the meaning behind the statement. Both his throat and tongue felt like they were burning as the alcohol took him higher than before. His eyelids began to feel heavy but both his body and heart felt a lot lighter – at least for a moment. Yukhei was oblivious to the sheer amount of alcohol he had gulped down that night even when he knew he might regret it in the morning, but when he got drunk, the most important thing was the present and not the future.

"Hey, stop drinking." Sicheng complained while trying to take away the glass from Yukhei’s hand. At first, the younger did not want to let it go but finally he let Sicheng take the glass as he remembered something that he actually did not want to. He parted his lips and asked, "What time is it?"

Sicheng looked at his watch and answered, "Quarter to twelve."

"Shit. I will just stay at a hotel then. I can't get home past 11." Yukhei cursed.

 “A curfew?” Ten asked while raising his left eyebrow.

“That egghead told me not to get home past 11 or I will be in trouble.”

“But usually you went back home at around two in the morning? Don’t tell me that you’ve stayed at the hotel this entire time?” Ten frowned. His facial expression looked puzzled as he had to process a lot of information at the same time, unfortunately it seemed like the alcohol had killed some of his brain cells.

“Mostly...yes.” Yukhei scratched his head softly. He always used a lot of excuses so his new friends would not know about the fact that he lived in the Kim Residence; whether it was ‘you can go home first I still want to be here’, ‘I think I will get laid tonight’ or ‘I haven’t cleaned my room so you can’t go there’.

If it was not for the alcohol, Yukhei might have never told them about that. He knew that when he was drunk, he talked a lot and that was why he tried to refrain himself from drinking too much and getting drunk. But as weeks passed by and he had began to trust them more, he thought that it would be okay to drink _a little bit more_ than usual – not thinking of the high possibility of taking a shot one after another would get him drunk.

“You should have just told us about that from the beginning so you didn’t have to waste money staying in a hotel.” Sicheng protested.

“I don’t get why are you trying to hide the fact that you live there?” Ten asked again after trying to process everything.

“You never asked and I hate being there so I didn’t see the point in telling you guys about it. I’m sorry but I have my own reason.” Yukhei shrugged and Ten answered with a sigh before a single word left his mouth, “Okay.”

"You can just stay the night at my apartment. It's safer than a hotel." Sicheng offered. Actually, he did not really care about the fact that Yukhei didn’t tell him about it. Thinking about it again, Yukhei was right – they had never asked about it – and he agreed that everyone had their own reason to keep their personal lives a secret. Furthermore, they could just talk about it later when Yukhei was sober and he ready to talk about it. The only thing that he could not think of was the reason why Yukhei lived with _that_ Jungwoo even though he hated him.

"Sicheng, you are the best." Yukhei replied and a smile spread across his face as he was glad that Sicheng did not press further.

"Wait, you should just stay at my apartment instead. Your boyfriend would freak out if he knew some drunkard was sleeping at your place." Ten raised his hand and pointed his finger at Sicheng, remembering that Sicheng had that one Japanese boyfriend that loved him so much to the extent he freaked out when he knew Sicheng went to the club alone with Ten for the first time.

"Oh," Sicheng scratched his head as he remembered about his forgotten boyfriend. "True.” He agreed.

"Yeah, yeah. I am okay with both." Yukhei nodded twice. The alcohol had taken over but at least he still had the brain cells to imagine how chaotic it would be if Yuta, the boyfriend, found out about it.

"Then, shouldn't we go home now then? Before this big guy drinks another shot and dies." Ten suggested before he ruffled Yukhei's hair messily. Sicheng nodded as he agreed with Ten's decision.

* * *

It was past midnight when both Yukhei and Ten arrived at the apartment. In contrast to Jungwoo’s house, where everything was clean and tidy, Ten’s apartment was kind of messy as stuff was scattered all around the floor. It contained only a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom with a queen sized bed – a typical apartment for someone who lived alone. Yukhei walked unsteadily, his arm around Ten's shoulder and Ten's around his waist as the older tried to drag him to the bedroom. It was not an easy task for Ten as Yukhei was a giant – especially since Ten wasn’t really tall and he, too, had drank enough alcohol to make him feel tipsy.

Once they entered the bedroom, Ten put the latter onto the bed and it literally felt like the weight upon his shoulders had been lifted. Yukhei groaned as his back touched the soft surface of the bed and he saw Ten walk toward the door.

“Where are you going?” He asked, making the latter turned his back to face him again.

“Shower.” Ten answered while he tilted his head, pointing the bathroom that was located across where he stood.

Yukhei pouted, “Come here first.” He raised his hand, beckoning him closer.

Ten cocked an eyebrow while he strolled to the side of the bed, standing next to the drunk guy who was staring up at him. “What is it big guy?” He asked before he pinched Yukhei’s cheek making the guy groan.

Yukhei grabbed Ten’s arm and pulled him slowly, drawing him closer until the older fell down on top of him and there was no gap between their bodies. It seemed like Yukhei had another habit when he was drunk, especially when the alcohol had reach its peak effect. His mouth stopped talking but another part of his body seized the wheel instead. It was something that, fortunately, did not happen much when he slept with Jungwoo during their vacation back then.  

_Touching._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for the slow update because I was on a trip before and I couldn't update it on time :( Thank you so much for all the hit counts, comments, and kudos! I really appreciate them :) I also wrote a Yuwin one shot and I've published it so if you like Yuwin feel free to check out the story ♡ Thank you!


	16. Not Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do I commit a murder without being a criminal?

A few weeks seemed to fly fast when both Yukhei and Jungwoo drowned themselves in their own lives and hobbies. They passed their first tests and, as usual, Jungwoo aced all of them without difficulty. Yukhei, on the other hand, he passed them all with the minimum scores – it was not like he did not understand anything; he just did not want to study. He was almost late to every lecture he had. He thought that as long as he could pass them and graduate, he could just do anything he wanted to – and that was exactly what he did.

It was the weekend and Jungwoo locked himself in his bedroom – reading books and reviewing his homework. It had been a while since the last time he saw Yukhei and he was totally okay with that. The only thing that had him worried was the fact that his dad started to wonder about his best friend’s son – who was supposed to be studying hard at the university and learning a lot from his son, but neither of these things ever occurred. Jungwoo always covered up for Yukhei – he had no other choice than to do so, or else his dad would definitely get mad and blame everything on him.

Jungwoo lied a lot to his dad. He felt guilty but at the same time he was relieved that Mr. Kim hadn’t caught on to the lies that came out of Jungwoo’s mouth. He had learnt it the hard way; that lies were best in order to avoid trouble. It always worked for him, and what Yukhei had told him before was not fully wrong; he was a good liar. Jungwoo did not like to lie, but when he had no other choice, he could do it perfectly. Putting on a mask and spitting out lies was normal to him – they were the only things that would save him from unnecessary problems.

He knew that lying was bad – he was smart and, of course, he had some common sense – but what if the lies were harmless and all done for good reason? They were called white lies and they were acceptable to him. So Jungwoo thought that if all the lies he constructed were just these meaningless ‘white lies’ then he wouldn’t feel as guilty.

Jungwoo drowned himself in books before he realized that someone was knocking on his door several times. He put down the book immediately and opened the door to find his butler stood in front of it, bowing politely as soon as he came out of the room.

“Good evening, Young Master. I apologize for bothering you but Mr. Kim wants you to meet him downstairs.” Said the butler in a formal manner.

“He’s home?” Jungwoo asked right away. He was surprised that his dad was home during the weekend – it was such a rare occasion that he could count how many times it had ever happened with his fingers.

The butler bowed politely once again before he left the young master alone. It was not long before Jungwoo left his room and walked down the stairs to meet his dad. He could see his dad was there, sitting on the couch while reading his business magazine. He approached the old man slowly, wondering if he had made a severe mistake to warrant his dad’s visit out of the blue – especially during the weekend.

"Good evening, dad." Jungwoo braved himself to speak up.

Mr. Kim averted his gaze from the magazine to his son who was standing in front of him, and greeted back, "Good evening."

"How was your day? Do you need me to help you with anything?” Jungwoo questioned his dad.

"Everything’s fine. How is Yukhei? It seems like he likes to go out until late. Is there something wrong?" Mr. Kim questioned him back.

_Oh my god. Not again. Why is dad so obsessed with Yukhei?_

"No, dad." Jungwoo lied. "He goes outside with his friends, but I guess they study together."

"Why don't you join them? Yukhei came here so he could learn from you." Mr. Kim said while narrowing his eyes and knitting his eyebrows together.

"I am not that close with his friends, dad." Jungwoo answered. He lied again. He did not know any of them – not even one.

"Well, if they don't provide any advantage, you don't have to get close with them. But Yukhei is different, you will become his partner in the future. Know your place, you have to be close with him." The old man stated in a demanding voice.  

Jungwoo nodded and gave a simple answer – most likely an automated answer that he always said to his father, "Yes, dad."

"You are not hiding anything from me, right Jungwoo?" Mr. Kim sure asked a lot of things that day.

Jungwoo's heart skipped a beat – wondering if his dad knew about his lie – but the possibility was small and there was no way Mr. Kim would figure it out. Jungwoo tried to stay calm and answer everything his dad asked and accused him of, not giving the old man a chance to find out about the lie that was hidden beneath his words.

"No, dad. I am not." Jungwoo answered calmly.

“Well, it seems that you are hiding something from me.” Mr. Kim accused while searching for a piece of paper between his business magazines that were scattered on the table.

“What?”

“There is something I’d like you explain to me.” Mr. Kim took the paper he found and opened it wide, showing its contents in front of his son's face. “What is _this?”_

Jungwoo's eyes widened as he saw the paper with a table filled with red numbers on it. He knew the paper so well - it was nothing but the transcript letter from the university, but this time it was not his but Yukhei's. Jungwoo set his eyes on the paper, scanning it quickly while cursing in the back of his mind. On the contrary to Jungwoo who got straight as on his transcript, Yukhei got straight Cs on his. The both of them had really screwed up this round.

“How can he get this low of a grade if he is always out studying like you always told me up until now?” Mr. Kim continued to talk before glaring at his son whose eyes were shaking in fear.

“M-Maybe it was a mistake." Jungwoo stuttered his word.

"A mistake? More likely, _your_ mistake?" The old man sighed.

Jungwoo’s biggest mistake was when he miscalculated the fact that the university might send the letter home and he forgot that Yukhei’s address was the same as his. He had to think fast for a lie or reason that would allow him to survive both his dad and his wrath – he needed to get himself out of the fuck up situation as soon as he could. His anxiety struck him and his heart raced fast, trying to match up with his mind. Jungwoo did not know what to do. He always planned everything perfectly and he hated it when things didn’t match up. But this time, he was trapped in the situation where he did not have time to think nor to plan anything. He had to answer fast, but it was almost impossible for Jungwoo who had never done anything spontaneously in his life before.

“Dad, I was busy as well because I needed to study for my exams too.” Jungwoo defended himself.

Mr. Kim threw the paper away and crossed his arms. He sighed again, but this time Jungwoo knew that he was more irritated than before. He demanded, “I don’t want any excuse from you, Jungwoo.”

“Dad please, I have my own reason.” Jungwoo insisted, making the old man stand up right before him. Jungwoo took a few steps back while his eyes looked down to the floor – he was frightened.

He wanted to run away.

“I told you not to disappoint me, Kim Jungwoo.” Mr. Kim raised his voice. Blood rushed to his head as rage blinded him over. He glared at his son, feeling disappointed of what he had done.

Mr. Kim had promised his best friend that Jungwoo would take a good care of Yukhei and everything would be done perfectly according to Mr. Wong’s expectations. But after seeing all the red numbers that Yukhei got and all of Jungwoo’s excuses, he could not feel anything but shame and disappointment.

The old man approached his son and it was quick to raise his hand high and strike Jungwoo right across his cheek. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed all over the room. The slap was loud and it stung his face. It was not the first time he’d hit him, but no matter how many times it had been, it always hurt so much. Jungwoo looked down, trying to hold back his tears. He did not have enough courage to meet his dad’s eyes – he really, really just wanted to run away.

"Don't ever disappoint me. You are _my_ successor. You can't do _anything_ that might ruin my reputation." Mr. Kim said with a deep, demanding voice.

"Yes, dad."

"You can go back to your room and study again." Mr. Kim dismissed him coldly before he walked toward his workplace, leaving his son alone in the living room.  

"Yes, dad. Good evening." Jungwoo answered while looking at the old man’s back before returning to his own room – a space where he could feel safe without putting on a fake act and spouting lies.

His head hurt but the pain on his cheek made it worse. He let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his temple and threw himself on the bed. Finally, a single tear dropped down his cheek after holding it in for a while. He could not cry in front of his parents – they often commanded him not to cry in front of others. He had to stay calm and keep his emotions intact all by himself because his dad told him years ago that a future leading CEO had to hold back his emotions and crying was a pathetic thing to do. Jungwoo had to be perfect, even when there was no such thing as perfection in this world. His dad wasn’t, but that was the reason why he wanted his son to be perfect.

At a time like this, Jungwoo could not keep his mind from wandering about a lot of things. Many things were going through his head – his past; his parents; his lack of freedom; and the person that he had tried to forget for the past few weeks: Wong Yukhei.

Even when he thought that he could have a little taste of freedom from his so-called responsibility to take care of Yukhei, he was back at square one again. His life was fine – or maybe at least it looked fine from the outside – but it was all messed up once Yukhei entered it without agreement. _If only Yukhei wasn’t there, he wouldn’t have to meet his dad’s wrath_. It was normal for him to think of something like that and blame everything on the Chinese guy – especially when he was feeling ashamed, irritated and dejected.

Jungwoo picked up his phone and searched for Doyoung’s contact in it. The older guy was his only friend and also the only person he trusted. And at a time like this where he could not think straight with a head filled with stressful thoughts, Doyoung was like an emergency room for him to breathe in. He could rant about anyone and anything to him and Doyoung was always there; all ears for Jungwoo – though sometimes he would offer unnecessary advice or bring back old memories that Jungwoo wished to forget.

 As soon as he found Doyoung’s contact, Jungwoo texted him a sentence; a short one that was straight to the point.

**Jungwoo:** “ _Hyung_ , how do I commit a murder without being a criminal?”

It was not long for Jungwoo receive a reply from Doyoung, but it was not quite what he expected it to be. He raised an eyebrow right away once he saw the message. Doyoung sent him a text that was written in a superscript font – obviously mocking Jungwoo whose voice was soft.

**Doyoung:** “ How do I commit a murder without being a criminal?”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes and typed, “Come on, I don’t talk like this so can you not?”

He scoffed, hoping that the older guy would give him a proper reply this time. But instead of a text message, his phone buzzed as Doyoung gave him a call. He picked it up and Doyoung’s voice was heard as soon as they were connected through the phone.

"You have one of the softest faces in the world but why are you talking about committing a murder?" Said Doyoung who was ready for a long rant from the latter.

"I just talked to my dad. He asked about that piñata head and I had to lie to him."

"Why did you lie?" Doyoung raised an eyebrow even though no one could see him doing that.

Jungwoo let out a deep sigh before explaining, "Because I can't tell him that Yukhei goes out almost every single night to the club or wherever it is. He would get mad and tell me to do my job right even though I never signed up for a job where I have to teach that guy how to behave.

“Also, I was too focused on the tests that I forgot about the transcript letters that were sent to my house. I don’t know how my dad could get them but he saw Yukhei’s grade and he blames everything on me.” He continued.

“Damn.” Doyoung answered shortly.

“And you know, hyung? _That_ guy literally got straight Cs and a few marks below that. Can you believe it? I know he is dumb but I can’t believe he is _that_ dumb. Getting such grades is okay but he is supposed to be the future CEO of Wong Corporation.” Jungwoo snapped.

It did not make sense for a successor of a large company to get such marks. He did not know how much freedom Yukhei had to be able to do that because in his case, if he got a B on his transcript he was sure enough that his dad would throw a table at him. He was not even brave enough to imagine what would his dad do if he got a C or D – it might be possible for Mr. Kim to eradicate his name from the family registry.

"Why don't you just warn him about it?" Doyoung questioned the younger who just let out a sigh again – he really sighed a lot that day.

"I have tried to talk to him about it but he said that he didn't break the rules so he told me to fuck off and mind my own business." He groaned.   

"Burn."

"Honestly, I don't care if that piñata head stays outside forever – I would be grateful instead. But unfortunately, it can't happen as long as my dad is still best friends with his dad." Jungwoo rolled on the bed, positioning himself in the center of it. He caressed his cheek slowly – it didn’t hurt anymore but it was still painful for him whenever he replayed the scene on his mind.

"I still wonder why you call him piñata head though." Doyoung wondered. He did not talk much, but he listened to everything his best friend had said.

"Basically it's because his head is filled with nothing but party and actually, in some traditions, a piñata symbolizes the seven sins and evil.”

Doyoung chuckled, "That’s deep.”

Jungwoo smiled as he heard Doyoung’s chuckle. He wished he could talk to him in person, but he could not refrain from ranting right away. He felt so much better after letting everything out and he was thankful that he had Doyoung as his best friend. He never really had friends before, but he could certainly say that Doyoung was the best one he ever had.

They continued to talk and Jungwoo spoke up about a lot of things: the tests, the book he loved, the annoying lecturer; anything but Yukhei. He had to avert his mind from all the negativity or else he might murder the said guy for real. They kept talking to each other until Jungwoo heard a sound from the outside. He took a glance at the clock and it was past midnight already.

"I think he just came home." Jungwoo said, cutting the topic that they were discussing. He hoped that Yukhei didn’t meet his dad downstairs, but the butler would have called him again if that nightmare really occurred. Jungwoo shook this bad thought away and he felt more reassured.

"Do you want to welcome him first?" Asked Doyoung in a mocking tone.

"What? No. What did you smoke?" Jungwoo blinked a few times, slightly raising his voice.

Doyoung laughed. "I'm just kidding. Don't take it seriously."

Jungwoo pouted and tried to continue the topic that got cut off before. But Jungwoo quickly noticed that there were some noises coming from the room belonging to no one other than Yukhei.

" _Hyung_ , wait a second."

"Okay? Take your time." Doyoung replied without asking anything.

Jungwoo kept hearing noises and sounds from the room next-door, but it was not Yukhei’s voice. The sounds were getting louder as Jungwoo decided to get off the bed and walk towards the wall that separated their rooms. He put his ear against the wall, hoping that it was just him imagining things – but unfortunately, it was not. It really was from Yukhei’s room and Jungwoo widened his eyes as soon as his brain had successfully processed the sounds that he was hearing in that moment. It was sounds of pleasure or, to be exact, moans.

Jungwoo took a step back, not believing of what he just heard. It might be a daydream for the two that were _enjoying_ their night, but it was a nightmare for him. Jungwoo walked away and got back to his bed. He took his phone that was still connected to a phone call with Doyoung and put it against his ear.

"What the fuck." He cursed.

"Did something happen?" Doyoung questioned right away as he got surprised to hear Jungwoo cursed unexpectedly.  

"Doyoung _hyung_ ,"

"Yes?"

"Seriously, how do I commit murder a without being a criminal?"

* * *

Jungwoo stood in front of Yukhei's room, getting himself ready to knock on the door and lash out at the younger. He moved his hand and let his knuckles touch the white door few times. It was a while until Yukhei opened the door, with his messy hair and no shirt on.

_Not again_ , Jungwoo thought in the back of his mind. It felt like déjà vu had struck him as he remembered the same scene that happened on his last vacation with Yukhei.

Jungwoo tried not to look at the marks on the tall guy's chest, neck, and collarbone. No matter how much he hated him, he had to admit that Yukhei had that sexual appeal that could make both men and women fall for him. Yukhei ran his hand through his unkempt hair, showing his forehead and staring back at Jungwoo who was trying his best to focus on his anger and the younger's eyes instead of something else – his toned abs and the kiss marks.

"Seriously, _dude_? Why do you like to disturb me in the morning?" Yukhei asked in annoyance.

Jungwoo took a deep breath and exhaled, "I should be the one to say _seriously_! Why do you like to disturb me at night?"

"I didn't disturb you? I was in my room the whole night." Yukhei defended himself, not admitting to the older guy’s hidden accusation.

" _Yes_ and that’s the problem," Jungwoo raised his voice. "I could hear sounds that I didn’t want to hear."

Yukhei’s mouth widened into an ‘O’ before he spoke up, "I'm sorry, my partner was kind of loud. But did you actually have fun listening to it?"

" _What_? No!" Jungwoo answered in a second.

"Did you get turned on by it?" The taller guy teased.

"What the fuck, Wong Yukhei.” Jungwoo cursed. He did not like to curse but he _had_ to - or else he would really murder the latter.

Jungwoo hated it.

He hated the fact that whenever he tried to be more intimidating than Yukhei, he couldn’t – Yukhei was the one who always intimidated him and ended up making him feel embarrassed. He hated the fact that when it came to Yukhei, he could not stay calm like his usual self. Both his mind and body grew restless.

"Wow, you can actually use swear word." Yukhei leered.

"Shut up. But seriously I don't want to hear any of your or your partner's moans or whatever from now on. You are human so don't act like a rabbit in heat." Jungwoo snapped while pointing his finger at Yukhei.

"So you are telling me that I can't have fun at home? It’s the weekend and I didn’t break any of your stupid rules. Try again next time, egghead.” Yukhei shrugged.

"I'm sorry but this is _my_ home. _I_ make the ru-" Jungwoo was a second away from raising his voice higher and raging before he heard a stranger voice from inside the room.

"Yukhei?" Someone called the taller guy’s name softly. He didn’t recognize the voice, and honestly? He didn't want to either.

It wasn’t long before a stranger showed up in front of him, standing behind Yukhei's with a towel around his slim waist. Jungwoo did not know the guy as he’d never seen him before. His eyes scanned the stranger quickly, and that was the second time for him to see someone else with a lot of marks on their body that morning – some of them were bite marks; but no, Jungwoo didn't want to know that Yukhei was into _that_ kind of stuff.

"Who is this pretty boy?" Said the stranger while gazing up and down at Jungwoo's figure from the tip of his head to the bottom of his feet.


	17. In Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can just lie about it again, it's not a hard thing to do since you are a good liar."

"Who is this pretty boy?"

 "I am sorry but I should be the one to ask. Who are _you_?" Jungwoo frowned. The fact that he stood in front of two bare chested men this early in the morning really made him uncomfortable – let alone the fact that they were talking in the hallway in front of Yukhei's room.

"I'm Ten, Yukhei's friend." The smaller guy introduced himself.

Jungwoo shook his head and pointed his finger out at the two of them, "Friend? Do _friends_ have loud sex and disturb others during the night? No."

"Well, technically yes. We are sex friends." Ten smiled widely, feeling satisfied with his own answer. He continued, "I'm sorry that I was so loud. That was Yukhei's fault for being so rough."

"I wasn't _that_ rough." Yukhei turned back to look at the shorter guy and smirked.

"You were, especially when you-" Ten’s heated words drifted out of earshot as he whispered into Yukhei’s ear. They exchanged smirks and chuckled, as if Jungwoo wasn't there knitting his eyebrows together and clenching his fist angrily.

" _Excuse me_ , I don't want to know that." Jungwoo complained. "Well, I hope you won't do this kind of thing anymore in the future. Firstly, this is _my_ house. Secondly, if you want to hook up, please do it anywhere else _but_ here."

"Oh shut up, Kim Jungwoo. This is your dad's house, not yours." Yukhei rolled his eyes.

Jungwoo tried not to erupt as he pulled out the last card. "Listen, Wong Yukhei. It would be a shame if your father were to hear about this."

"Fuck." Yukhei cursed, irritated by Jungwoo’s constant threats - they were a replica of his dad’s. But what truly enhanced and refined this feeling was the fact that he had no other choice than concede defeat.

Yukhei knew best about how his dad favored Jungwoo; he would definitely listen to whatever that guy told him. If Jungwoo ever told Mr. Wong about how Yukhei’s current behaviour, which was actually not so different from his lifestyle in Hong Kong, Mr. Wong would take everything away from Yukhei and, most likely, throw Yukhei out from both the company and family tree.

Yukhei was smart. He knew that if he did not want that to happen, all he had to do was to behave according to his dad’s wishes. But no matter how smart he was, both his pride and large ego were also important to him. His dad was selfish, and if he ever listened to what his dad wanted, he would have ended up like Jungwoo – someone who never had the freedom to be independent.

"Aw come on, pretty boy. You are no fun. Maybe we can like have fun together so you won't feel so bad?" Ten asked innocently as if he wasn’t at fault.

"What? Fuck no. Just get out of my house, I don't want to see you anymore." Said Jungwoo while he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay, okay. Just don't tell my dad and I will deal with this. Fuck you, Jungwoo."

"I don't want you to _fuck_ _me_ , Yukhei." Jungwoo scoffed.

Yukhei did not reply and turned his back instead, entering the room and leaving Jungwoo with Ten in an awkward silence. Jungwoo knew that the shorter guy was not a bad person; he could sense it, but he did not want things like this to happen again. This is _his_ house, _he_ makes the rules.

"I will go back to my room. I hope I don't see you again when I get out of my room." said Jungwoo while taking a step back to return to his room before Ten called after him and gave him really unnecessary information.

"You should want Yukhei to fuck you. He was so good that you would get addicted." Ten smirked as he remembered all the things that Yukhei did to him the night before.

Jungwoo narrowed his eyes in disgust immediately, distaste showing all over his face. Yukhei was annoying but Ten was on a whole other level of it. _Did he lose his brain cells from being fucked too much?_ Jungwoo had never wanted to punch someone in the face, but the sudden urge to punch the person in front of him seemed rather appealing. Fortunately, his sanity refrained him from doing so.

"No, thank you." Jungwoo frowned, giving him a short reply to get back to his room quickly.

He needed to handle the whole situation. The fact that his dad lashed out at him meant that he needed to do something to clear everything up. It was not long for Jungwoo to hear some footsteps in front of his door – he guessed it was Ten who he’d cast away before. _Good for him,_ he thought in the back of his mind. He sat up as soon as he no longer heard the footsteps and walked out of his room, ready to continue the unsettled business he had with Yukhei.

Jungwoo sighed. Yukhei was the problematic one but it was Jungwoo who continuously had problems to deal with. Actually, he could just spill everything to Mr. Wong like he had always threatened Yukhei until then but he knew that, in the end, he would get dragged into yet another problem. Mr. Wong would freak out and tell Yukhei to go back to Hong Kong – it would be a true blessing for Jungwoo but, what about _his_ dad? Mr. Kim would be very disappointed and blame everything on him. Jungwoo sighed again at only the thought of it. Well, at least Yukhei did not know about this problem with his dad; he could just keep threatening Yukhei with the same thing.

Jungwoo knocked on Yukhei’s door several times until the tall guy opened it for him. He could see the antipathy upon Yukhei’s face but he did not care– he felt the exact same way after all.

“What is it again, egghead?” Yukhei sneered as soon as he saw the guy in front of him.

"My dad talked to me last night. He asked me about you and I had to lie about it. I don't want you to cause any problems, and I'm sure your dad will start to contact me soon to ask how you behave here." Jungwoo complained.

"You can just lie about it again, it's not a hard thing to do since you are a good liar." Yukhei spoke up honestly. He was not wrong, Jungwoo knew best that he was a good liar. Yukhei was the problematic one so he did not want to go to hell for lying too much to his own dad just to cover up for the guy he hated.

"I feel offended. No, Yukhei. You have to listen to me or else I will tell your dad the truth." Jungwoo rolled his eyes as he looked away to the side, avoiding further eye contact with Yukhei. He lied, he would not do it but it was the only way to make Yukhei listen to him.

“Hey, I just noticed but what’s with that cut under your eyes?” Yukhei asked instead of replying properly to what Jungwoo said. It was not noticeable before as Jungwoo kept looking to the other side or to him – nagging about everything that annoyed him for Yukhei to even notice such little thing.

“What?” Jungwoo asked back.

Yukhei pointed his finger at the small cut that was under Jungwoo’s eyes. He was completely unaware of it – too busy snapping at Yukhei and his so called _friend_ that he did not even bother to take a look in the mirror. Jungwoo raised his hand and rubbed the area on his cheek that was pointed out by the taller guy. There was a small cut there and then he realized that it might be from the ring on his dad’s finger. It no longer hurt anymore for him to notice it, but it must be noticeable if Yukhei could point it out – which was embarrassing.

“It’s nothing.” Jungwoo said while covering the cut with his hand.

Yukhei furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you sure?” he questioned again while trying to shove away the other guy’s hand, wanting to look closer at the wound.  

Yukhei was not that dumb to not want to figure out what had happened to the other guy. The way Jungwoo suddenly snapped, talking about his dad and a small cut showing on his cheek – he could put two and two together to figure out what the old man had done to him. He learnt about it the hard way, he knew from his own experience.

Jungwoo flinched at Yukhei’s sudden touch. He felt a sudden déjà vu. It happened again – whenever he tried to control the situation and become intimidating, he failed. Yukhei always took the wheel, whether it was by his physical appearance or the contact that he made – it actually affected Jungwoo in a way he did not even know himself. It was just weird. He hated Yukhei and he had no doubt about it. But he also hated the fact that Yukhei was physically attractive and there was no way for him to not feel _something_ with the sudden intimacy that began to occur between the two of them.

“H-Hey.” Jungwoo called out to the other guy. Yukhei still had his eyes set on Jungwoo’s cheek, not realizing that his hand was still holding the other’s and his face was only a few inches away from Jungwoo’s.

Jungwoo was a complete mess; he was embarrassed by everything that happened that time. But on the other hand, Yukhei was deep inside his mind. He hated Jungwoo and the fact that they had to meet each other, but deep down his heart he had empathy towards the older guy. Their situations were the same, trapped inside their parents' game, as if they were the chess pieces and their parents were the players who ruled them. _Pathetic._

“What are you doing? Let go of me.” Jungwoo shoved Yukhei’s hand off him and took a few steps back.

“I’m just checking it for you, it didn’t mean anything.” Yukhei sighed.

“You don’t have to and it is not a big deal. D-Don’t worry about it and just focus on the main problem.” Jungwoo stated, avoiding further eye contact with Yukhei.

“What do you want from me?”

Jungwoo took a deep breath before glaring again at the taller guy, “You _have_ to follow the rules, Wong Yukhei. Haven’t I made it clear?”

“I do. I didn’t break the rules. I went home late last night because it was the weekend. I also didn’t bring too many friends. I only brought one.” Yukhei defended himself. He did not do anything wrong or, well, maybe he was but it should not be _that bad_ , should it?

It took longer for Jungwoo to give his answer. He was hesitating because he had to admit that what Yukhei had just stated was not fully wrong. It was the weekend, his dad came home by surprise, and Yukhei did not know about it. He also never brought any friends before except for _this_ one, Ten. Furthermore, Jungwoo never stated any rules about not having sex in the house so he couldn’t quite defend himself, but who would have thought that Yukhei would really do exactly that.

Jungwoo rubbed his temple in distress before parting his lips and continuously throwing questions at Yukhei, “Okay. Then, about your grades. Are you dumb? Do you want to repeat another year? Do you want to embarrass yourself? All the things you did were the exact opposite of what your dad wants you to do.”

“I told you before to mind your own business. Why are you suddenly complaining about that?” Yukhei groaned. He hated it the most whenever Jungwoo crossed the line and did not keep his nose out of his problems.  

“Because _my_ dad knew about it and he blamed everything on me.” Jungwoo clenched his fists in anger. The air kept getting tense but none of them even bothered to keep calm.

“And? What do you want me to do then? It’s not my fault that your dad did that.” Yukhei snapped, glaring at the other guy.

“You have to study and get good grades. No objection.” Jungwoo demanded with a voice higher than before. His voice was soft, but he would never let Yukhei keep hold of the wheel forever and watch himself pathetically allow it.

“That’s not in the _fucking_ rules, Jungwoo.” Yukhei took a step closer before he pointed his finger at Jungwoo’s chest and pushed him slightly.

Jungwoo cursed in the back of his mind. He immediately shoved Yukhei’s finger away and pushed him back, making the younger guy flinch. He didn’t budge that much, especially since Yukhei was a giant himself, but Jungwoo would not back away. He had to handle it all or else everything would be messier than the way it was already. If Yukhei thought that Jungwoo was a loser who could not stand against him, then he was wrong.

“Yes, it is not in the rules but don’t you have at least _some_ self-awareness or anything? You are _Wong_ Yukhei and you have to behave like how _you_ are supposed to.” Jungwoo almost screamed his lungs out.

Blood rushed fast up to Yukhei’s head once Jungwoo placed emphasis on his family name. Did he choose to be born as _Wong_ Yukhei? Did he choose to be born as the future CEO of the _Wong_ Corporation? No, and even if he could choose, he would never choose it either. He had to behave like how he was supposed to, but it was his life – not his dad nor anyone else’s. He loved to be in control and he hated it when people tried to control him, acting like they owned his life and he had to fulfill everything they wanted. No, he wasn’t Jungwoo. He did not want to be like that and he never would.

Yukhei ruffled his hair in distress, trying not to lay a hand on Jungwoo and cause a fuss. He let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm himself – thinking of anything that would get himself out of the tense situation.

"Let’s just make another deal. You really get on my nerves and we have to settle this or else I don’t know what I will do to you.” Yukhei rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"I have to agree with you, so you have to agree with me too. Or else it will be unfair. I will give you my deal, you have to agree, and I will agree with yours." Yukhei stated. Actually, he did not want to make a deal _again_ since he had to sacrifice something too, but he had no other choice than to do so.

“A deal? _Again_?” Jungwoo narrowed his eyes in disbelief with what he just heard. A _deal-breaker_ offered _him_ a deal. If that was not weird then he did not know what was.

“Because it’s not fair if I have to listen to what you want but you don’t have to do anything.” Yukhei spoke up honestly but Jungwoo shook his head instead.

“You will end up breaking it again.” He declined.

“I won’t,” Yukhei softened his glare as he stared into Jungwoo’s eyes. He continued, “Promise.”

Jungwoo wanted to look away but he could not. It was his habit to avoid other’s gaze once he felt uncomfortable with the situation, but it was different this time. It might be because of the tense air around them that he could not take his eyes of the other’s. It was the same as the time they had their first deal. His heart was beating fast as if he was curious about what would happen in the future. He thought he was just anxious or angry, and he thought that it had to be the same this time.

He sighed, "Okay tell me about it first but no money involved."

"Damn it." Yukhei cursed.

"We don't know how long you will have to live here. I don't want to go bankrupt because of you." Jungwoo explained his reason. He did not want to lose another million just because of the tall guy.  

"Then, I will study on the weekdays and I will let you study all you want but you will let me hang out on the weekend and,” said Yukhei before he stopped his sentence and let silence lingered around them for a while.

Jungwoo frowned, waiting for the last part of the sentence. He was about to part his lips and complain but Yukhei spoke up first, “you have to go out with me.”

Jungwoo blinked a few times, "What? Why? Don't you hate me?"

"Yeah, I hate you. And with that hatred I would let you sit in your bedroom all day drowning in notes and books, but maybe you should have a taste of my lifestyle. So come out with me at the weekend at least, then we’ll see who the dumb one is.” Said the younger guy.  

 _Wong Yukhei, you will definitely regret your decision,_ Yukhei thought to himself. He had thought about the way Jungwoo lived his life and he admitted that he had felt empathy towards him, but he never once thought that he would spit out such nonsense. He was angry and that might be the reason for his irrational decision.

"Besides that, I know how much you hate to go out and meet new people, that's why I want you to go with me. You want me to do something I hate, so you better do something you hate as well." He continued before he gave any chance for Jungwoo to object.

"It's unfair." Jungwoo protested.

"It's a fair deal and no money involved."

"I don't want to spend my weekend with you." Jungwoo insisted, finally avoiding the other’s eyes. He did not expect this to happen at all – he didn’t know what to do nor how to react.  

Yukhei saw Jungwoo’s eyes shaking in panic and he knew he won again this time. He spoke up, pulling the last card to end the game, "Then just rot in your room and make sure to hear another moan at night."

Jungwoo tilted his head to face Yukhei again. He saw a smirk showed up across the younger’s face and he knew that he was serious. He stuttered, "W-What—"

"You won't agree with my deal so I won't agree with yours." Said Yukhei, cutting off Jungwoo’s sentence. He was still angry and annoyed but at least Jungwoo’s defeat satisfied him.

Well, it was not like he fully won the round – he had to deal with his own offer, which means he had to study on weekdays and take Jungwoo with him on the weekend. But he decided to just handle it later as he did not want to get stuck in the current situation any longer.

"Okay. Deal." Jungwoo mumbled softly.

The smirk was still upon Yukhei’s face as he let out a chuckle to mock the guy in front of him. Jungwoo was pissed off – it was no wonder why since he hated it when something did not go the way he had planned. Yukhei noticed it and he leaned closer until their eyes met again, making Jungwoo took a step back slowly.

“What is it now?” Jungwoo pouted while putting up both of his hands in defense in case the latter leaned any closer, as if he did not know the definition of _personal space._

"I will show an egghead like you how to live life to the fullest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm really sorry for the slow update! I'll try to update faster in the future;; I got quiet busy lately so I could not finish the chapter fast, but I hope you still enjoy the story! Thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me. I hope you have a good day ily <3 <3


	18. Stubborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recalling the past always brought Jungwoo's mood down; even good food began to lack taste as his tongue turned bitter. Several questions came to mind at once, demanding to be answered but Jungwoo knew that the only person that could answer all of them was no one else but Yukhei.

Jungwoo was anxious.

It was Sunday and the deal would commence, which meant that he had to go out with Yukhei even though he did not want to, not even in the slightest. The bags under his eyes were dark from a lack of sleep after being kept awake by his restless thoughts – they longed to understand the reason for Yukhei’s deal. But actually, it made sense why he decided to take Jungwoo out. The older guy hated to go outside – especially with _him –_ but _why_ would he even bother to take Jungwoo with him when he hated him in the first place?

Yukhei had not told him anything about where they were going, and this made Jungwoo more anxious than he was already. Yukhei had only told him to wait in the living room and that they would go together, without mentioning anything about places or locations they would be going to. Jungwoo thought of possible places and hoped that they would end up at the library but, since he was with Yukhei, the library would definitely be the _last_ possible option. They could end up at a nightclub or even a casino, and Jungwoo wished for neither of the two.

“Let’s go, egghead.” A sudden but distinct voice was heard from behind and it made Jungwoo flinch.

He turned to face the owner of the voice and found Yukhei stood behind him, wearing a black shirt and a white denim jacket. _Oh_. He looked handsome, but Jungwoo would never tell him that – even though it was a fact that he had come to terms with in the back of his head.

“Are we going to take a taxi or do you want the driver to take us there?” Jungwoo asked and Yukhei furrowed his eyebrows immediately.

“Don’t you have a car? Give me the key and I will drive.” The tall guy demanded.

Jungwoo blinked a few times – he _forgot_ that he _owned_ a car. It had been a long time since he drove by himself as he always preferred to stay home or let the driver chauffeur him. Jungwoo raised his hand, signaling for Yukhei to wait as he walked back to his room and looked for the key that had been stored inside the drawer for so long. He took it right away and strolled back to the living room, giving the key to Yukhei.

He protested, “We could just ask the driver to take us there though.”

“Do you want your dad to know that we’re going outside instead of studying at home?” Yukhei cocked an eyebrow and took the first step toward the garage.

“Oh. You are right.” Jungwoo agreed before he moved his feet and walked behind Yukhei, following him to the garage. A sudden realization came to mind and he could not help but to voice it right away, “Wait, you won’t take me to a nightclub or something like that right?”

Yukhei turned to face Jungwoo and smirked, “We will go to the sex club.”

Jungwoo froze in his tracks and widened his eyes as soon as Yukhei ended his sentence. Did he just hear a _sex_ club? It was worse than what he had imagined – even a casino would be better than a fucking sex club. Jungwoo was ready to curse at the younger guy, but the smirk left Yukhei’s face as he opened his mouth to talk, “I’m just joking around. I won’t take you there.”

Yukhei looked at Jungwoo, whose face had burned a bright crimson colour, and laughed mockingly. He continued, “Unless you want me to take you there.”

“N-no! Thank you!” Jungwoo stuttered his words out of embarrassment.

“Get in the car and we will go now. You better stop wasting my time.” Yukhei scoffed as he unlocked the car and got into it.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before joining Yukhei in the car and mumbled, “You are the one who's wasting my time.”

“Shut up.” Yukhei said dismissively while putting his seatbelt on and starting the car engine.

* * *

The whole trip was silent.

It only took 30 minutes for them to arrive but it felt like forever since none of them were even bothered to strike up a conversation. Jungwoo’s eyes widened once he realized where Yukhei was taking him – a shopping mall, one of the biggest in town but never once had Jungwoo set foot in it.

It might be a weird thing for a young guy in his 20’s to have never been to a shopping mall before, but Jungwoo just did not like it. If he needed to buy clothes, he could just go to a store that was not located inside the mall. If he needed to buy something, he could just ask one of the house staff to go and buy it for him. He did not have to go anywhere to get what he wanted which was the biggest advantage of being rich. Furthermore, even if he liked going out, he had no one to hang out with. Doyoung was like a total reflection of him – both liked to stay home or go to the library instead of going to a public place and encountering so many people.

People might call him a spoiled brat if they knew all this. But being surrounded by too many people just exhausted him – both mentally and physically. He had always tried to avoid crowds unless it was a formal event where he had to accompany his dad and meet important people. It always seemed like he enjoyed it, but his smiles mocked the truth.

Jungwoo hated it the most; standing in the crowd was tiring enough for him, let alone that fake smile he’d learnt to perfect, to act like he loved everything when he couldn’t bring himself to like it in the slightest. Never once had Mr. Kim considered the possibility of his son disliking it. Once he got the invitation, he had to come no matter what. And there was no exception.

It was tragic that he could get whatever he wanted to but he could not get the thing that he had always wanted the most: _freedom._

“Hey, Kim Jungwoo.” The older guy was lost in his own thoughts until a hand grabbed his arm and shook him lightly, bringing him back to reality. Yukhei continued, “Stop daydreaming and introduce yourself.”

Jungwoo took a glance at Yukhei before he averted his gaze to find three strangers standing in front of them. One was waving his hand excitedly at them, another one was playing with his phone, and the last one was a person he had met but wished to forget. And the last person was no other than Ten, who was smiling at him innocently, making Jungwoo want to go home already.

“Hello, pretty boy.” Ten greeted him but Jungwoo acted like he did not hear anything, he always seemed to be acting didn’t he?

“I’m Jungwoo.” Said the Korean guy before he bowed a little bit.

“Hey! I’m Mark. I’m Yukhei’s classmate and I’m from Canada.” The guy who waved at him before introduced himself.

 _He seemed nice,_ Jungwoo thought. First impressions were a really important thing for Jungwoo. Mark had left one he approved of, but it was different with the tall guy who was standing next to him playing with his own phone. He had only took a glance at Jungwoo and focused back on his phone again as if it held more interest. Jungwoo was quite offended but he not surprised; the rude guy was Yukhei’s friend after all.

“We have met before but I will introduce myself again. I’m Ten.” Said the Thai guy.

Jungwoo tilted his head, “Have we? I forgot.”

“You forgot?” Ten asked him back with a frown on his face.

“I tend to forget the unimportant things so, yeah.” Jungwoo answered with a smile spreading across his face. Yukhei rolled his eyes as he watched the scene unfold – he knew best that the smile was sarcastic.

“Wow, thanks. I’m hurt.” Ten said while faking a cry, but did Jungwoo care? No.

“Was your first meeting was _that_ bad?” Mark asked in puzzlement.

Ten pouted, “It wasn’t bad at all.”

“He is just annoying.” Yukhei said while pointing his finger at Jungwoo only to receive a cold glare in return – offended by what he just heard.

Jungwoo knew he was rude but Ten deserved it. He was the one who was rude; moaning out loud in the middle of the night and disturbing other people who would rather be asleep. Yukhei glared back at Jungwoo, starting to regret his own choice to take Jungwoo out with him. He hadn’t thought it be _this_ bad and annoying. He knew he would regret it in the future but never once had he thought that feeling would come around _this_ soon.

It was awkward, especially for Mark who was completely lost and oblivious to it all. If Yukhei, Jungwoo, and Ten did not share a good relationship, why would Yukhei bring him here? Half an hour still had yet to pass but the situation was getting bad already, no wonder Mark wanted to run away and get himself out of it. He glanced at Sicheng, who just finally put his phone inside his pocket, and nudged his arm in hopes that he’d help break the awkwardness.

As if he knew what Mark was hoping for, Sicheng parted his lips and spoke up, “I’m sorry I was playing an online game and I could get kicked from the team if I lose my focus.”

Jungwoo broke the glaring contest he had with Yukhei and turned to face Sicheng, who had been labeled as _another rude guy_ by Jungwoo _._ But, in contrast with the label that Jungwoo had placed, Sicheng smiled softly instead, showing his little fangs to the Korean guy. This vibe was different compared to the one he had before – it became somewhat softer.

“I’m Sicheng and I’m from China. Nice to meet you, Jungwoo.”  Sicheng introduced himself while offering his hand to Jungwoo, who shook it right away.

“Nice to meet you too.” Jungwoo replied before pulling his hand back.

“So, what are we going to do today?” Sicheng asked as he averted his eyes from Jungwoo to the tall guy beside him.

“Didn’t we agree before that we were going to watch a movie?’ Yukhei questioned him back, remembering their conversations about it before in the group chats.

“Sicheng didn’t agree because it’s a horror movie,” Ten answered, a soft chuckle left his lips as he mocked the younger guy. He continued, “Stop being coward.”

Sicheng frowned, “Shut up. I’m just not good with stuff like that.”

“I don’t know why you are so afraid when you’re even scarier than the ghosts.” Ten leered.

Sicheng rolled his eyes before he faced Jungwoo and asked, “Do you like horror movies, Jungwoo?”

Jungwoo looked around him and mumbled a soft _no_ while shaking his head gently. He still remembered the first time he had watched a horror movie and how he could not sleep for two days straight – there was no way he would do the same thing again. Yukhei let out a small chuckle next to him, obviously mocking Jungwoo whose face started to turn red.

“Then, you all can go watch the movie without me and Jungwoo. Let’s meet again after that.” Sicheng spoke up with a voice that was filled with excitement at the thought of getting away from the horror.

“That’s such a great idea.” Yukhei said, his face suddenly brightened up.

“Are you okay with that? You are the one who brought him here. Don’t you want to spend time with him or something?” Mark was full of questions, obviously curious about the relationship between the two guys.

“No, we are good.” Yukhei answered within a second.

The reason he had taken Jungwoo with him was because of the deal and not because of anything else. He was sure enough that Jungwoo would have been happier if he had not brought him here in the first place, and he did not want that to happen – it was evil, he knew. It would be an advantage for the two of them, there was no doubt about it but, think of it again, it would be unfair for Yukhei who will have to suffer for the next few days studying with Jungwoo.

“Then, all of you can enjoy the movie and _we_ will go somewhere else.” Sicheng spoke up as he took a step closer to Jungwoo, standing next to him.

 “Okay. See you.” Yukhei put his arm on Mark and Ten’s shoulders and walked away, leaving the other two alone.

Jungwoo did not know how to react; he could not complain as he did not want to watch a horror movie either – he did not want to scream inside the cinema and Yukhei had embarrassed him enough; he preferred it when his face didn’t mimic every shade of red. He had no choice but to go with the flow, hoping that everything would turn out better than the way he had imagined. Well, at least he did not have to be with Yukhei for the next two hours.

“Let’s go to a café and get to know each other.” Sicheng spoke up as soon as the other three guys left them.

“W-wait are you okay with this? We don’t even know each other.” Jungwoo stuttered.

“Don’t worry, we _will_ know each other better after we talk.”

“This is awkward.”

“I know.”

A smile appeared on Sicheng’s face as he walked first and Jungwoo followed behind. Neither Jungwoo nor Sicheng were the talkative type but, there was something about Jungwoo that made Sicheng interested in him. Jungwoo was famous around the university because of his perfection – visuals, intelligence, money – he had them all as if he was one of god’s best creations. But it was also not the reason why Sicheng was intrigued by in him; it was something that was a complete opposite of it: his imperfection.

Sicheng still remembered the night where Yukhei had gotten drunk and blabbered carelessly about the Korean guy. It was weird and also new for him to hear something like that as all the things he had heard about Kim Jungwoo were good. Jungwoo entered the university in the same year as Sicheng, and as expected from the only son of the Kim Corporation, Jungwoo grabbed the attention of the entire university. People around him always talked about Jungwoo and his perfection, but Yukhei was different. He talked about the bad side of Jungwoo – the more _human_ side of him, that was far from the word _perfect._

Sicheng was not as rich nor as smart as Jungwoo, he could not relate to Jungwoo and his life but, at the time Yukhei said that Jungwoo lived under a rock, he could relate. He used to be one; a person that did not want to go out and withdrew himself from his social life. Neither did he care about school or his future, it was only until Yuta came into his life and helped him to overcome his own insecurities. His life was dull and the thought of disappearing always lingered in his mind, but Yuta showed him what he could lose.

Sicheng could not be happier since Yuta came into his life, showing him a new world that he had never seen before – a colorful and bright one. He wondered if Jungwoo was the same as him. He might have everything he wanted, but was he really happy with all of it? He only gets the chance to live once and living under the rock like that was heartbreaking for Sicheng. Jungwoo needed someone to help him overcome his dull life, someone who was like a Yuta to Sicheng; someone who could bring him a new world that was filled with excitement and joy. He wondered if that person could be Yukhei, the only person who knew about the flaws within Jungwoo’s perfect life.

It seemed like a short walking distance as Sicheng got lost in his own thoughts. They finally arrived in a coffee shop inside the mall and Sicheng led the way inside, walking straight to the cashier and ordered their drinks. Jungwoo took an occasional glance at the other guy, wondering what was inside his head as they had not even shared a word during their short trip to the coffee shop.

While Sicheng wandered around inside his head, Jungwoo could not take his eyes off everything surround him – the shops, the people, and the smiles on their faces. The library was the only public place he liked because even then he did not have to interact with other person beside him. He could find millions of books there, but he could not find anyone that smiled as brightly as the way people did inside this mall. It made him wonder, _how could a mall make people_ that _happy?_

“So, tell me. What’s your relationship with Yukhei?” Sicheng started the conversation as soon as they got the drinks they ordered.

“W-what?” Jungwoo stuttered.

“You two don’t seem to be in a good relationship. Did something happen between the two of you?”

“No,” Jungwoo lied. “He’s just annoying.”

            _Well, there’s a deal between the two of us. It helps me to stop myself from murdering him because he is far more than just annoying. He is the incarnation of Lucifer and also a piñata head._

“I see.” Sicheng continued, “Then, how about Ten?”

“He’s annoying.” Jungwoo answered honestly this time.

Surprisingly, Sicheng laughed before he agreed, “As his friend for a year, I can totally agree with you. He’s fun but annoying.”

“I didn’t expect you to answer that.”

“Then, how about me?”

“You sure ask a lot.” Said Jungwoo as he raised an eyebrow.

Sicheng smiled, “I told you that we will get to know each other better.”

“I thought you were just another rude guy beside Yukhei and Ten because of what you did before.” Jungwoo said as he remembered his first encounter with Sicheng who was playing with his phone and barely bothered to introduce himself.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get kicked from the guild.”

“It’s okay.”

“Well, you are not the first person to call me rude though. Some people find me rude too but actually I’m just not really good with being social. I’m more like a quiet person, I guess? But you are quite interesting so I want to be your friend.” Sicheng confessed.

“I don’t get why are you saying that.”

 _Friend._ It sounded weird in Jungwoo’s ear – it had been a long time since someone wanted to be _his friend_. People loved him, but most of them said that he was unapproachable and it was impossible to befriend him – so they backed away from Jungwoo. It was not a fully disadvantage for Jungwoo as he did not like to be surrounded by people and his dad chose his friends _for him_ – Doyoung was the only person that passed all the requirements to be _Kim Jungwoo_ ’s _friend_ as he also came from a wealthy family and also an honorable student like Jungwoo.

“Yukhei was a good person to me so I wonder why he could be a bad one to you.”

Jungwoo shrugged, “I told you, he’s just annoying.”

            _I know right? I wonder about that too. Maybe there’s something wrong with his head, as expected from a total piñata head. He is a weirdo._

“See? Interesting.” Jungwoo could see the excitement within Sicheng’s eyes, as if he had discovered a treasure box or something precious.

“You are weird.”

“Thank you, Yukhei told me the same thing.” Sicheng giggled softly before he sipped his coffee.

“I’m not good with the whole friendship thingy, please don’t expect anything from me.” Jungwoo stated the fact.

“Me neither.”

“But you have some friends.”

“You won’t say that if you knew me before. I used to have no friends and I always stayed inside my apartment the whole day, except when I had classes of course. Unfortunately, Ten’s apartment was next to mine and he was lonely.” Sicheng said as he remembered his first meeting with Ten.

“Such bad luck you have there.” Jungwoo commented and Sicheng answered with a laugh.

“Ten barged into my room and forced me to accompany him to the club,” Sicheng complained with a voice that was higher than before, “…but it wasn’t that bad actually. I got to know more people and I also became more open with them.”

A soft smile brightened the features on Sicheng’s pretty face. Sicheng used to live in Japan before and Yuta was the only person he trusted. Yuta did show him a new world, but it was only a world for the two of them: Sicheng and Yuta. Sicheng did not care; he needed him but unfortunately his family had to move to South Korea because of the job his dad got.

Moving from one country to another, he never used to care as he had no one he longed for. But everything changed after he was with Yuta, something that was normal had twisted into a disaster: they could no longer meet each other as often and it had brought Sicheng back into his small, dull world once he arrived in Korea. Ten was the one who saved him at the time when he shut himself from everything else but Yuta – even though Sicheng rejected him several times, the Thai guy never gave up on him.

If Yuta was the one that showed him a life that was filled with cherry blossoms and rainbows, Ten was the one that showed him a life that was filled with neon lights and music. If the two of them did not come into his life, Sicheng was sure enough that the old Sicheng that withdrew himself from anyone and anything would have still reigned.

“I’m amazed that you still have him as your friend until now.” Jungwoo mocked.

“Ten isn’t that bad actually. As I said before, he is annoying but he’s fun.”

Jungwoo shrugged before he remembered something and he could not help but to ask Sicheng immediately, “May I ask something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Sure, finally you’re interested in me.”

“Do you have sex with him?” Jungwoo asked, making Sicheng almost choked on his drink.

“What? Why?” Sicheng questioned him back in surprise.

“I don’t know? How can _I_ know?”

Sicheng blinked a few times before he mouthed an ‘O’ as something popped up inside his head, “Oh! You know about Yukhei and Ten, don’t you?”

“You know about _that_?” Jungwoo tilted his head, wondering if _it_ was actually a common thing between them.

“I can figure it out easily. I was with them most of the time though.” Sicheng took a sip on his drink before he continued to speak, “Don’t tell Mark, he doesn’t know anything.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t do things like that. Yuta would kill anyone who dares enough to touch me.”

“Yuta?” Jungwoo asked as he heard a stranger name being called within Sicheng’s sentence.

“Yes, my boyfriend. He even freaked out when he knew that Ten took me to the club.”

“You have a boyfriend.” Jungwoo was quite surprise with the way Sicheng talked openly about that.

“Yes,” Sicheng’s face brightened up as he took his phone from his pocket and scrolled through the gallery, searching for his boyfriend’s photo and showed it to Jungwoo.

“This is Yuta.” He said with a wide smile spread across his face.

"He looks good.” Jungwoo could see a proud expression showing on Sicheng’s face as he complimented his Japanese boyfriend.

"Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Sicheng asked.

"No,” Jungwoo paused his sentence before he confessed, “I used to have a boyfriend but it was already a few years ago."

Jungwoo broke his eye contact with Sicheng; he was afraid to know about how the other guy would react. Sicheng would be the second person to know about his sexuality. Of course, the first person would be Doyoung who gave him a big hug once Jungwoo spoke about it. But still, he lived in a society where he could be judged easily just because of his sexuality or race. Jungwoo was afraid that people would judge him bad once they knew about it but, Sicheng was just like him and it reassured him quite a bit to tell him about the truth.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sicheng pouted, making Jungwoo face him again. Indeed, Jungwoo was surprised with Sicheng’s response. He thought that the older guy would give him another question instead of a statement.

"It's okay! I'm glad we broke up though." Jungwoo lied, he felt bad but there was no way he would let Sicheng knew how pathetic he was.

Jungwoo smiled bitterly as he looked down at the drink he had, stirring the straw as if he would get something out of it. No words were spoken and Jungwoo let silence linger around him and Sicheng.  Honestly, he was happy to know that there was someone else that could understand his sexuality without judging or trying to dig anything from him, but the mention of his ex – who was none other than Jaehyun – successfully brought down the mood.

Sicheng noticed the mood had dropped and he tried to find a new topic to talk, "Jungwoo, do you want to hang out with me again? Yuta will come here next week, maybe you can take us to a good cafe or something. And before you ask is it okay for you to tag along, yes it is okay. Neither of us are locals so we don't know that many places to go."

Jungwoo tilted his head to face Sicheng again and apologized, "Sorry to disappoint you but I don't know that many places either.”

"Don't you have any recommendations?"

"How about the li–" Jungwoo eyes lit up as he remembered his favorite place but, too bad Sicheng was quick enough to cut his sentence off.

"No library please." Sicheng objected with a smile.

"But it's fun..." The younger guy mumbled, disliking the discrimination toward the library.

"How about if I search for a good place on the internet and you will take us there?"

“Uh… okay…” Jungwoo hesitated for a bit before he finally agreed.

"Then, when will you be free? I mean, when do you have no classes or when you can get off university early."

"Tuesday?"

"Great. Give me your number and I will tell you the location later." Sicheng gave his phone to the younger guy.

Jungwoo took the phone and typed his number before he gave it back to Sicheng. Jungwoo stared at the other guy. First impression was very important for him, but he changed his mind this time – Sicheng might not be as bad he had thought before. They continued to talk to each other – starting from a random issue and then progressing towards a serious one – not realizing that two hours had passed by until Sicheng’s phone lit up with Ten’s name on it.  

“I guess it’s time for us to get back to them?” Sicheng asked after he picked up the phone and talked a bit with Ten.

Distaste twisted into the features of Jungwoo’s face – just when he was about to have a little fun, he had to return to reality and face Yukhei again. He had experienced something new that day and also found a new _friend_ that he could learn to trust. Of course, he would not let someone to enter his life that easily – he would not open his heart that easily either – he admitted that he enjoyed his time with Sicheng and could not wait to meet him again. Nevertheless, there was something that he had to keep inside his mind; something that made him realize that no matter how he enjoyed the day, he had a line that should not be crossed.

He would not let his dad know about the thing that happened that day – not even in the slightest. After all, he was _Kim_ Jungwoo from the _Kim_ Corporation.

No one but his dad’s successor.

No one but the son that had to fulfilled everything his dad wanted.

No one but the person that had no freedom in life.

* * *

A few days had passed and Tuesday finally came by. Jungwoo was at a café, sitting across two guys who were none other but Sicheng and his boyfriend, Yuta. Jungwoo had to admit that Yuta and Sicheng were perfect together – even with just sitting next to each other and holding hands, right in front of him. Both Yuta and Sicheng had beautiful faces and pretty smiles – a perfect starter to make a perfect match.

"Hey, I'm Yuta. Sicheng's boyfriend." The Japanese guy introduced himself first.

"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Jungwoo."

"Sicheng told me about you before and he said that you are a very interesting person. I've been looking forward to see you." Yuta smiled widely.

"Please don’t expect much.” Jungwoo said, wondering what Sicheng had told Yuta about him because as long as he could remember, they had only met once and neither of them exchanged much small talk.

"At least you didn't take him to the night club like Ten did." Yuta rolled his eyes as his own words reminded him of what he did not want to think of.

"Oh, you know him." Jungwoo said. It was not a surprise at all that everybody knew Ten – he was sure that Ten was just like Yukhei; a typical social butterfly.

"Of course. I also know Mark and Yukhei."

"He lives with Yukhei." Sicheng finally spoke up while pointing his finger at Jungwoo.

"Really?" Yuta widened his eyes in surprise and Jungwoo only answered with a nod. He spoke up again in excitement, "Wow, it must be fun! He's kind of loud but he's so kind and caring."

"No. It's not." Jungwoo answered immediately, wondering if Yukhei had brainwashed all of his friends.

"But you started to hang out with us and it was fun last time! I thought that you two also have fun at home.” Sicheng stated.

"Well..." Jungwoo paused his sentence, hesitating if it would be okay for Sicheng and his boyfriend to know about the truth behind that.

"Well?"

Jungwoo sighed, "It's because of the deal we made."

"Deal?" The couple asked at once, making Jungwoo release another soft sigh from his mouth.

“To put it simply, we hate each other and we had to live together because of our family’s circumstances. He has to study and follow my rules during the weekdays, and in exchange, I have to go out on the weekend with him. He knows how much I hate going outside and socializing, that’s why he made the deal.” Jungwoo explained, his hand scratching his nape and eyes staring down, clearly avoiding eye contact with the two guys in front of him.

"You know, if it was me, I wouldn’t agree to such deals. I wouldn't want to spend a single day with the person I hate." Sicheng said after a brief silence.

"But he did that because he knew I don't like to go out."

"Yukhei is really smart. He could figure out another way to solve the deal but instead he offered you that." Sicheng stated as he took a bite of the food that just arrived a few minutes ago. He was in the same class as Yukhei and they almost saw each other every day – there was no way he would not know that Yukhei was a smart person, even with all the bad grades he had got because from not studying at all.

“Aren’t you defending him too much?” Jungwoo raised his voice a little.

Sicheng was the one who asked him about Yukhei, and Jungwoo told him that he hated the guy, but the thoughts of Sicheng who was defending Yukhei disappointed him. Sicheng might be his new friend but, after all, he was still Yukhei’s friend. He should not be surprised by the way Sicheng kept defending _his_ friend.

"Why are you saying it like that? Sicheng just gave you his opinion, and I also think that Yukhei considered your situation too.” Yuta spoke up, literally glaring at Jungwoo who was brave enough to raise his voice at his boyfriend.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” Jungwoo confessed, “It confuses me too, you know? I have thought about it but I couldn’t find the reason.” _He is weird._

"I have not known him for too long, but I know that he isn't as bad as you think." Sicheng said.

"I agree. I only have met him once but he was so kind to me. I'm sure he is not a bad person." Yuta added, agreeing to what Sicheng just said.

"Well, I will tell you this since it's just you. Yukhei got drunk once and he spoke about you." Sicheng stated, disclosing the event that took place a few months ago.

"About me?”

"About how you’ve lived under rocks all this time, about how you should have a life outside studying, and things like that. But he understood that you have some family issues so he knows it's hard for you too."

“He doesn’t even know anything about me nor my family.” Jungwoo muttered.

“He said that you have no freedom at all since you have to live according to what your dad wants. I still remember the face he made when he told me that. He looked sad as if he could understand you.” Sicheng said, making Jungwoo completely lost for words.

Jungwoo could not answer – he did not know what to say nor to react. It was true. He never told anyone about it, let alone the person that he hated the most: Yukhei.

Jungwoo’s thoughts were back to square one. He recalled some moments that had occurred between them that he actually wanted to forget – or he wished never happened. He never noticed nor wanted to notice it, but he just realized that perhaps Yukhei also had a family issue that was similar to his. He remembered the way Yukhei got mad whenever he talked about his dad. He remembered the way Yukhei spoke coldly to his dad. He remembered the time when Yukhei ruined the breakfast during the vacation and told him that _both_ Jungwoo and his dad were liars.

_His heart ached a bit._

“A drunk mind speaks a sober heart, right?” Yuta spoke up, breaking the silence that hung in the air as Jungwoo sank deep into his thoughts.

"Just let him have fun for a bit and don't be too hard on him. He's not as bad as you think." Sicheng added before he pat Jungwoo’s head softly, making him flinch a bit.

Jungwoo mumbled with a pout, "You don't have to repeat that again."

"Because you are stubborn." Sicheng said while enjoying his food.

He stared at the couple and their plates – almost empty. He stared at his own plate – still half full. Recalling the past always brought his mood down; even good food began to lack taste as his tongue turned bitter. Several questions came to mind at once, demanding to be answered but Jungwoo knew that the only person that could answer all of them was no one else but Yukhei.

How could Yukhei know about his problem? Was it that obvious that even Yukhei knew about it? Why did he look sad? Did he plan something? Yukhei hated him after all. So why would he understand Jungwoo: the person he hated?  

His heart ached _again._

“There, there. Let’s change the subject and bring back the good mood.” Yuta talked again, trying to brighten the mood once again. Sicheng nodded beside him as Yuta finished his food and put his hand on Sicheng’s thigh.

"You two are so cute together." Jungwoo spoke his mind out.

"Yes, I love to show everyone my love for Sicheng." Yuta said, a wide smile spreading across his face. Jungwoo saw a soft smile show up on Sicheng’s face before it turned into a cute giggle.

"Sometimes he is annoying, though. For example, last night he asked me to say something in Japanese. I don't know what it meant but he was so happy when I said that." Sicheng complained.

"It's a cute sentence from an anime that I watched. It was a romance anime and I thought of him when I saw the main character." Yuta explained as his face turned rosy color, getting all embarrassed with the way Sicheng exposed him.

"So you are into _that_.” Jungwoo said as he raised an eyebrow.

"He is a fool, isn’t he?" Sicheng pointed his finger at the guy next to him, who immediately pouted and complained, "But you love this fool."

Sicheng did not answer anything but he playfully rolled his eyes instead. Yuta was right. No matter how foolish or childish Yuta was sometimes, Sicheng loved him and no one could argue over that. It was a fact that no one could ever change.

"I love you too." Yuta said as he nuzzled Sicheng's arm gently.

Jungwoo knew that he would be a third-wheel from the start, but he did not think that he _had_ to witness them be all lovey-dovey like that. It was not like he hated it or envied them, he did not really care actually. It just reminded him that he could not and would never be able to do the same thing – even showing his own emotions was forbidden, let alone to disclose his secret to the outside world.

"It must be nice to be so open like that." Jungwoo said.

"Oh, are you perhaps a closeted?" Yuta asked.

Jungwoo scratched his nape before he nodded. "I have to maintain a good image in front of other people. Also, some people here are still homophobic.”

Yuta sighed. "Sad truth. I don't understand how their brains work. Love is love. We don't kill or harm anyone."

"It breaks my heart to see a lot of people are still hiding their sexuality and being closeted. We should be proud of ourselves, all we do is love. We don't do anything bad." Sicheng added, stating his honest thought.

Jungwoo smiled at the kind words that held the raw truth. It warmed his heart to know that there were people who had these kind of thoughts. Jungwoo lived in a society where he would be judged no matter what he did. Even his own parents would not accept him for who he was if they knew about the truth – it was sad, he knew.

In spite of that, seeing the way Yuta and Sicheng were brave enough to come out and open up about it gave him hope. Hope for him to be accepted for who he was – a person that craved nothing but freedom. A hope for him to escape his world that was filled with fake smiles and lies. Hope for him, whose life was far from perfection.

“By the way, Jungwoo. May I discuss something with you?” Sicheng questioned, changing the subject again.

 “Sure.” Jungwoo answered while finishing his food that had already turned cold.

“Do you know that mid-exam is coming soon right?”

Jungwoo nodded, “Yes, of course.”

“It seems like Yukhei was struggling with some classes. You should try and help him or he will have to repeat the class.” Sicheng suggested.

“Why should I?” Jungwoo frowned.

“You are the university’s honorable student. You should be the one to teach him.” Sicheng uttered the fact, making Jungwoo roll his eyes immediately and complain, “Suddenly I don’t want that title.”  

“Come on, maybe you will understand why Yukhei isn’t _that_ bad.” Yuta said, supporting Sicheng’s suggestion.

“You told me that he is smart, so he can study by himself.” Jungwoo leered.

“He is, but don’t you think that it would be better if someone like you teaches him? He might be struggling with Korean, right?”

Jungwoo sighed. “I will consider it first.”


	19. A Bag of Chips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo was in his own house but he felt like he was sitting in an unknown place. Time flew by so fast when you least wanted it to, and it cursed Jungwoo as the day had passed by quickly and he had to fulfill his own words by tolerating a study session with Yukhei.

Jungwoo stood in front of Yukhei’s room nervously.

After spending the whole day considering Sicheng’s idea, he gave up and decided to help Yukhei with his studies. At first, he had objected to it completely but, thinking of it again, Yukhei had to get good grades or else _his_ neck would be on the line as well. In the end, Jungwoo realized that he had no other choice than to do it.

So there he was, standing in front of Yukhei’s room and trying to gather enough courage to knock on the door. Fifteen minutes had passed by and Jungwoo was still lost in his own thoughts – even though he had decided to help, he knew he would regret his decision sooner or later.

Jungwoo took a deep breath before he let it out as a sigh. He moved his hand and knocked on Yukhei’s door a few times until the door opened revealing a tall guy standing before him.

“What do you want, egghead?” Yukhei frowned.

“Do you know that there will be a mid-term exam next week?” Jungwoo questioned him getting straight to the point.

Yukhei blinked a few times, obviously he did not know anything about it. Jungwoo was not surprised at all – he knew that Yukhei would not care about it in the slightest.

“You have to study. That’s the deal.”

“There’s still time before next week and I didn’t break the deal, okay? I attended all the classes that I used to skip before.” Yukhei spoke up, defending himself.

“Don’t you realize that there’s a lot of things you have to learn? You won’t be able to remember all of them overnight.” Jungwoo said as he cocked one of his eyebrows.

“Can you stop nagging? As long as I pass them, everything’s fine, right?” Yukhei complained while scratching his nape.

Jungwoo sighed. “I know this is not part of the deal but you have to use the weekend to study.”

“What? No.” Yukhei raised his voice, getting himself ready to snap and defend his precious weekend.

“Just this weekend. I want you to get all A’s to fix the mess from the last exam.” Jungwoo stated.

“No. All A’s is impossible and I’m not an egghead like you, so—” Yukhei objected before Jungwoo cut his sentence off and surprised him.

“I will teach you. I can guarantee that you will get all A’s.” Jungwoo said, making Yukhei widen his eyes in disbelief.

Yukhei blinked few times, not believing the words he just heard. Had Jungwoo planned something? It was weird that Jungwoo offered to teach him himself – well, indeed Yukhei was struggling with some classes but he could not believe that Jungwoo would offer him help.

“Are you high? Did you just drink alcohol? What did you smoke?” Yukhei asked, half sarcastically and half curiously. _Who knew that Jungwoo was actually smoking something in his room?_

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he spoke up, “Shut up. I’m not you.”

“Are you here just to pick a fight with me?” Yukhei frowned again, obviously disliking the fact that he got roasted by the latter.

“No. This is for my sake too, so you better listen to me. I’ve never taught anyone else before, you should be grateful.” Jungwoo said.

“But I don’t agree with you and I’ve never asked you to do that. Why should I be grateful?” Yukhei said as he leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest.

Jungwoo sighed again. “Okay, _piñata head_ , listen. You _have_ to agree with me or else _both_ of our necks will be on the line.”

By the time Jungwoo said that, everything made sense for Yukhei. The fact that Jungwoo suddenly offered him a study session was eerie – to the point where he wondered what the older guy had been smoking. It had to be his dad, or to be exact, _their_ dads.

To think of it again, it was possible that the reason Jungwoo was offering something like that was purely because he was afraid of his dad, who was also one of the reasons why the deal was in place.

Yukhei could see the frightened expression on the latter's face even though Jungwoo had tried to stay calm. The way he put pressure on his words several times, to the extent where he even said that _their_ necks would be on the line, made it obvious that he was afraid of something. And Yukhei was smart enough to know what that _something_ was.

“Then what will I get in exchange for _my_ weekend that I have to use for studying?” Yukhei asked.

Jungwoo tilted his head, not expecting Yukhei to ask such a question. He answered, “…straight A’s?”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, I’m being serious.” Jungwoo said as he nodded lightly.

Yukhei rubbed his temple, thinking of a way to get something else in exchange for sacrificing his weekend. Getting a straight A’s was cool, but it was not fun at all. His mind wandered, looking for something was fun enough to be a replacement for his lost weekend.

Jungwoo knew that Yukhei was planning something evil inside his head, and he was about to complain but unfortunately, Yukhei was faster than him. A sudden idea came to Yukhei’s mind. It was obviously a bad one for Jungwoo since he could see the sinister grin on Yukhei’s face.

“Then, once we finish the exams, we will go to the club and _you_ have to drink with me.” Yukhei stated.

“No,” Jungwoo objected. “Why would I? You don’t even benefit from that.”

“Well,” Yukhei scratched the back of his head while showing Jungwoo his sly grin. “It’s fun to see you get all embarrassed so it might be fun as well to see you drunk.”

“Are you a sadist?”

“You don’t know about that unless you’re sleeping with me.” Teased the younger guy.

Jungwoo furrowed his eyebrows as he questioned Yukhei again, “Don’t you hate me? Why do you keep teasing me like that?”

“I told you. It’s fun to see you suffering because of me.” Yukhei explained shortly as he took a step closer to Jungwoo, repeating the usual gesture he did whenever he wanted to intimidate the latter.

Jungwoo flinched and took a step backwards, avoiding the feeling of embarrassment. _Again_. He glared at Yukhei, who was standing a few inches before him and pushed Yukhei’s body lightly – which completely had no effect to the taller guy.

“Uh…we will start our study session tomorrow. Don’t you dare run away.” Jungwoo declared before he ironically speed-walked back to his room, leaving Yukhei alone with no chance to answer.

Yukhei closed the door and strolled back to his bed, which was the only place that he liked inside the house.  

Honestly, Yukhei felt a little bit guilty for what had happened, as a consequence, to Jungwoo. It had to have hurt a lot – both physically and emotionally – for Jungwoo, and Yukhei could understand it as he had learned it the hard way.

By the time he had let Jungwoo meet his friends, he regretted it right away. But at the end of the day, Yukhei had to admit that taking Jungwoo out with him was not so bad. The egghead might be rude to his friends but at least he had not ruined the day; which was good. What had surprised him was that Jungwoo could get along with Sicheng – well, Sicheng’s parents never compared him to Jungwoo so it was no wonder how they became friends.

Yukhei’s mind wandered, it was as if there was an unsolvable labyrinth inside his head that was forever changing. It kept leading back to the day he made the deal with Jungwoo – and honestly, he still asked himself _why_ he had to make such a deal. He could have offered anything else, he had the reason to make any other deal – one that consisted of revenge – but he didn’t pursue it. He could have enjoyed his weekend alone with his friends, drowned himself in alcohol or got himself laid, but instead, he became a fool that decided to sacrifice his fun and took Jungwoo out with him.

He knew that he might have been guilt tripped by the bruise on Jungwoo’s face, or simply because of the empathy he had toward the older guy. He thought that if Jungwoo at least had some fun outside, it would make up for the mistake that he had made before.

Yukhei closed his eyes slowly, trying to untangle the messy thread in his mind. He had to distract himself with something else or, preferably, fall asleep instead so he did not have to think about it anymore.

He _hated_ Jungwoo. He did not want to waste his time thinking about the guy that he hated. With the perpetual comparisons from his dad, and Jungwoo constantly lying, he had enough reasons to hate him. If he hated Jungwoo so much, why would he help him to see what he has always wanted; freedom? He could not even figure out the answer himself. The only word that he could think of was _empathy._

It had to be empathy.

Nothing more.

Since he refused to acknowledge the concerning possibility that he no longer hated Jungwoo.

* * *

It was weird.

Jungwoo was in _his_ own house but he felt like he was sitting in an unknown place. Time flew by so fast when you least wanted it to, and it cursed Jungwoo as the day had passed by quickly and he had to fulfill his own words by tolerating a study session with Yukhei.

The tall guy was downstairs grabbing some snacks to eat, leaving Jungwoo alone inside his room. Jungwoo’s eyes scanned the room that had changed a lot since Yukhei moved in. He had only saw the room from outside, but the fact that he was inside it right now made him feel a little bit nervous – maybe because he felt like he was in a stranger’s room.

Compared to his own room, Yukhei’s was messier – Jungwoo could spot some stuff on the floor – whether it was clothes or underwear it had successfully made Jungwoo uncomfortable. There were neither books nor paper, portraying Yukhei’s hatred toward them. Instead, Jungwoo could see some albums from artists that Jungwoo had never heard of before, or accessories that were the total opposite of his personal style. Seeing all of that stuff made Jungwoo realize that the two of them were really different – they almost had nothing in common at all.

_Almost._

It was not long until the door opened and Yukhei entered the room with his hands full of snacks, which lead to Jungwoo questioning _where_ and _how_ he got them all. Yukhei closed the door and sat across Jungwoo before he put all of the snacks next to the books that Jungwoo had stacked. Yukhei stared at the books that Jungwoo had brought and a long sigh left his mouth immediately.

“That’s a lot.” The tall guy complained while pointing his finger at the book stack.

“That’s normal,” Jungwoo said, “for me.”

“Do you even read _all_ of them every time you study?” Yukhei said as he raised an eyebrow – he could predict the answer but he asked again just to make sure, quietly hoping that the egghead would answer with a ‘ _no’_.

Jungwoo nodded. “Of course.”

Yukhei sighed again before he mocked the latter, “What an egghead.”

“At least I’ve never had a B, or even a C on my report cards. Not like _someone_ _else_ I know.” Jungwoo said with a sarcastic smile upon his face.

“At least I have friends and I enjoy my youth. Not like _someone_ _else_ I know.” Yukhei replied while reflecting the smile that Jungwoo gave him.

“Wow, thank you.” Jungwoo said, totally was not expecting Yukhei to answer him with _that_.

“You are welcome.” Yukhei answered with a victorious smile.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he tried to attack Yukhei back, “You really don’t have books inside your room. As expected from a piñata head.”

“I have.” Yukhei stated.

“Liar. I don’t see any of them.” Jungwoo said as he pointed his finger at the messy stuff on Yukhei’s desk.

“Of course, there’s a reason why they’re hidden.” Yukhei agreed.

Jungwoo raised one of his eyebrows before a sudden realization kicked in. His ears turned to rosy color as he figured out why _those_ books were hidden. He stuttered, “O-oh.”

“Do you want to see them instead of studying?” Asked Yukhei, making Jungwoo widen his eyes and shake his head a few times. “No. Thanks.” Said the older guy.

“You really are no fun.” Yukhei mocked.

“Let’s start with Korean first.” Said Jungwoo – obviously changing the topic – before he pulled out one of the thick books from the stack, followed by a curse that the younger guy mumbled – it was audible enough for Jungwoo to hear but he chose to just ignore it instead.

The room became silent right after Jungwoo gave the book to Yukhei and told him to answer several questions there. Neither Jungwoo nor Yukhei talked to each other, so the room remained silent until Yukhei opened one of his snacks. Jungwoo ignored it, as long as Yukhei continued to do what he was told. The room went silent again – except this time some of the munching sounds and papers flipping could be heard.

Honestly, Jungwoo could not help but to continuously glance at the guy in front of him. It was weird – weirdly irresistible. It might be because of the mood, and Jungwoo had to admit that he felt quite nervous because of the current situation they were in. Yukhei looked handsome, he had admitted it since the first time they met. The only thing that he did not hate from the latter was his appealing visuals but, at the same time he also hated the fact that Yukhei was physically attractive – even to Jungwoo who undoubtedly hated him. Was he sexually frustrated? No.

Yukhei kept his eyes on the book even when his hands moved to take a chip and put it in his mouth. Jungwoo glanced at him several times, but making sure to be careful so he was not caught by the younger. The scene in front of him was beautiful. The way Yukhei read the book and answered the question seriously – Jungwoo hated to admit but Yukhei looked sexy like that. His mind started to wonder if Yukhei would also look good in spectacles. Was he sexually frustrated? Maybe.

Well, it might also have been because Yukhei was not saying anything shitty like usual. For Jungwoo, Yukhei was the definition of perfect visual with crappy personality. Wait a minute. He was not supposed to think about Yukhei – not was he supposed to sneak looks like that, let alone the fact that he had done it more than once. Jungwoo shook his head, trying to shove away all those _nasty_ thoughts inside his head. Unfortunately, his small gesture caught Yukhei’s attention as he averted his eyes from the book to Jungwoo, who was shifting his gaze to anything but Yukhei.

“What?” Yukhei asked.

"Uh, no.” Jungwoo answered, trying to find a subject that could save him from his own mistake. He continued, “I just thought that you eat a lot.”

"Don't tell me you will nag again just because I _eat_.” Yukhei scoffed.

"No, it's not that. I only think that it’d be great if all the nutrition could go to your brain instead of your muscles." Jungwoo said sarcastically.

Yukhei frowned, "Are you trying to pick a fight on me?"

"I stated a fact." Jungwoo said.

"Then if all of this MSG goes into my brain, doesn't that make me dumb instead?”

"Do you mean _dumber_?" Jungwoo asked him back as he silently laughed in the back of his mind, feeling satisfied with his own response.

"Fuck you, Jungwoo. Stop that, okay? You are here to _teach_ me, not to fight me." Yukhei cursed while pointing his finger out at Jungwoo.

"I only stated a fact. No hard feelings." Jungwoo shrugged.

"Do you know that this bag of chips resembles you?" Yukhei questioned him suddenly.

"What are you talking about?"

"It seems perfect from the outside but it's only full of air inside. And it's salty," Yukhei grinned before he continued, "just like your personality."

" _Excuse me?_ ” Jungwoo uttered, clearly feeling offended.

"I only stated a fact. No hard feelings." Yukhei said, quoting what Jungwoo had just said.

"You,” Jungwoo gulped. “You are still eating it though."

"Well, I didn't say that I can't eat you." Yukhei said before he took a chip from its bag and put it into his mouth. His eyes were still locked with Jungwoo’s, making the older guy go into a full panicked gay mode.

“W-what?” Jungwoo stuttered.

"But too much of it will damage my brain." Yukhei laughed, feeling satisfied with his own victory.

"Shut up." Jungwoo said as his face turned red out of embarrassment.

"Loser."

"Dumbass."

"Egghead."

"Get back to your paper or else you will become dumber than you are already." Jungwoo stated, trying to calm himself again.

"Who hurt you for you become _this_ salty." The younger guy replied mockingly. He totally enjoyed the view in front of him – Jungwoo became a complete mess because Yukhei defeated him again.

“I told you to get back to your paper, Yukhei. I didn’t tell you to—” Jungwoo nagged until Yukhei cut his sentence off and shoved the book to him.

“I have finished it. Here.” Yukhei said.

Jungwoo gave Yukhei a glare and took the book. He wondered if Yukhei was just too dumb that he could not answer them, or if he was actually smart enough to finish them fast, or he might have been lost in his own thoughts about Yukhei and his visuals for too long to the point where he lost track of the time. He preferred the first and the second choice, of course.

Jungwoo read Yukhei’s answers and checked them all – looking for any mistakes but surprisingly he found none. _Surprisingly_ , because he thought Yukhei was dumb.

"Oh, you're actually smart aren't you? Most of them were right and you didn’t take a long time to finish." Jungwoo said, unconsciously praising the younger guy.

"I never said that I'm dumb, I'm just lazy." Yukhei answered, defending himself.

"Sicheng was right then." Jungwoo said as his mind recalled the conversation that he had with Sicheng before.

"Sicheng?" Yukhei asked in puzzlement - completely oblivious to why Jungwoo would bring up the guy's name out of nowhere.

"He told me that you're smart. I thought that you’d have brainwashed him to say something like that." Jungwoo spoke up honestly.

"You really do get along with him." Yukhei said, pretending like he never heard the last sentence.

"He's not a bad person." Jungwoo said while scratching his own nape gently. Honestly, it sounded weird for him to hear that he got along with someone other than Doyoung.

"You better not be faking yourself in front of him." Yukhei warned him. It was the same for him; Yukhei also thought that Sicheng was not a bad person – he was actually one of the nicest people he had ever met – and of course there was no way he would let Jungwoo hurt Sicheng.

"Of course I'm not!" Jungwoo pouted, slightly feeling offended. "I only do that whenever I have to. It's mostly for business though."

“ _Mostly._ No wonder you became a really good liar.” Yukhei said.

“I told you that it’s important when it comes to business.” Jungwoo explained, defending himself.

Yukhei stared right into Jungwoo’s eyes, making the older guy feel uncomfortable and avert his gaze immediately. Actually, Yukhei was amazed by how Jungwoo could perfect an act in front of those old men in the business world when he could not even look straight into Yukhei’s eyes when they were talking.

“Do you intend to do that forever? Tricking people like that when actually you can’t even talk to my friends properly. Aren’t you tired of it?” Yukhei questioned.

Jungwoo wondered how their conversation went deep so suddenly – it was undoubtedly weird, especially because the person he was talking to was no other than Yukhei. It might be because of the mood as well; it had developed naturally because of their close proximity. The room was spacious yet they were sitting across each other leaving a gap, less than a meter, between them.

Jungwoo sighed before he opened his mouth to answer the question, “I don’t know.”

_He lied._

Jungwoo was tired of it – in fact, it would be weird if he was not tired of it. No matter how perfectly he could lie, it really took a toll on him. Whenever he did it, he felt like he was also lying to himself – hiding his true nature and burying his own feelings deep down in his heart just for the sake of his dad and the company. If there was an option to stop, he would definitely do that without a doubt. Unfortunately, when it came to his dad, he had no such thing as an option or choice.

Yukhei spoke up, "Hey, tell me."

"What is it?" Jungwoo asked.

"Are you really happy with your current life? You do have everything, don't you?" Yukhei questioned and Jungwoo’s eyes widened right after he heard the sentences.

Yukhei’s eyes were still set on him. The gaze that the younger guy gave to him made Jungwoo felt uncomfortable – especially when the conversation went deep like that. Jungwoo did not even dare to stare back into the younger guy’s eyes – he knew something would change if he did that. He did not know what it would be but, he believed that it would not be something good. Yukhei’s eyes scrutinized him, as if he could pierce right into Jungwoo’s mind and know what was inside it.

"I don't know." Jungwoo lied. If truth be told, he knew – but he did not want Yukhei to know about it. He realized that he was nothing but a pathetic guy in Yukhei’s eyes, and he did not want him to know that he was actually _worse_ than that.

"How come you don't know? It's your life." Yukhei said while raising one of his eyebrows.

"It's useless when you have everything but you don't want any of it." Jungwoo explained shortly and started to pick his nails subconsciously out of nervousness.

Finally, Yukhei took his eyes off Jungwoo’s face and shifted his gaze to the latter’s hands instead. He noticed that Jungwoo started to pick his nails, and he could guess that he had touch something that should not be touched – Jungwoo’s personal life, or to be exact, his insecurity. So, he only hummed instead of giving Jungwoo another question.

"How about you? Are you happy with your current life?" Jungwoo asked after they let a brief silence linger around them.

"I’m not. I hate it, but at least I feel like it's still better than your boring life." Yukhei said honestly, purposefully mocking Jungwoo to get themselves out of the uncomfortable situation.

"You don't have to attack me like that." Jungwoo scoffed.

"I state a fact." Yukhei said, quoting the sentence that Jungwoo said before.

"You're annoying." Jungwoo said before shoving the book back to Yukhei.

"Thanks, you too." Yukhei took the book as he let out a chuckle to mock Jungwoo.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he parted his lips and spoke up, "Okay let's focus on the book again before I lash out and curse at you."

"Fuck you."

"Shut up you rebel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, loves <3 I'm sorry once again for another late update :( I've been really busy with work but don't worry I won't abandon this fic!! ;) Actually I've finished the plot, and even have some ideas for sequel and spin-off ;)) I hope you all have a great day!! I love you <33


	20. Bitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We will regret this for sure." Jungwoo spoke up the truth, but he did not want to back away.

After the entire week filled with books and questions, finally Yukhei could free himself from his study session with Jungwoo. He admitted that he could answer all the questions well but, he also admitted that it was only because of Jungwoo's Spartan teaching method.

The whole week had been hell – Yukhei could not escape Jungwoo and his scheduled study session, not even once. It frustrated him that he had to study from day to night, right after he got home from the University until the time his eyes forced him to sleep. Moreover, it was stressing that Jungwoo took the entire wheel for the whole week, not giving Yukhei any chance to take it like the way he always used to do.

Usually, it was easy for him to take over and intimidate Jungwoo in return, but it was different this time. His grades were on the line even though he himself did not really care about them. The thing was, Jungwoo really cared about it, and he took it seriously to the point he acted like a polar opposite of his usual self. He became scary, even Yukhei had to admit it.

Furthermore, the fact that he had to use his weekend to study really took a toll on him; whether it physically or mentally. How he wished that he could relieve his stress on alcohol and sex, and that was why he dressed up well and ready to go to his favorite night club. Jungwoo was there too, looking uneasy and very awkward; but Yukhei did not care at all. He wanted to have fun, and after he drank some and get a good partner to laid, he would just ditch Jungwoo. It was evil, he knew. But Jungwoo had given him a hellish week before and also, Jungwoo was not a child anymore – he could get home by himself and there was no way Jungwoo would get drunk _that_ easily.

They took a cab to the nightclub – preventing themselves from drunk driving, even though Yukhei knew that he might go home in the morning. As soon as they arrived at the club, they could see the crowd of people moving their bodies as the music played. Flashing lights were everywhere, radiating in every color and flickering in all directions. It was a common sight for Yukhei, but it was a new experience for Jungwoo. He walked slowly, following the tall guy that was walking in front of him.

The smell of alcohol blended in with the smell of sweat, creating a stimulating aroma that lingered in the air. He could see multiple couples making out in every corner of the room, unaware of the people around them. Jungwoo tried to keep his eyes locked on Yukhei's wide back instead, rather than feeling disturbed by the inappropriate scenes surrounding him.

Yukhei guided him to the bar located near the dance floor. He sat on one of the tall chairs and Jungwoo followed, sitting next to him. It was extremely awkward and Jungwoo felt very uncomfortable. He could feel multiple eyes set their gaze upon both him and Yukhei, but he tried his best not to look back at them. On the contrary, Yukhei remained unbothered; it was as if he was already accustomed to such things; in which he was.

"Good evening. What do you want to drink tonight?" It was not long before a young man behind the granite countertops greeted them.

"What is tonight’s specialty?" Yukhei questioned him back.

"Old fashioned, margarita, and sex on the beach. We also serve the best quality liquors." The bartender answered and Jungwoo immediately narrowed his eyes.

Yukhei hummed softly and ordered some drinks. Jungwoo quickly leaned closer to the younger and whispered, "Do they really name it s-sex on the beach? Seriously?"

"Yes, they do." Yukhei answered lightly.

"That's dirty." Jungwoo answered with distaste showing all over his face.

"Take a shot before you say such things." Said Yukhei as the bartender served him a small glass filled with a transparent liquor.

Jungwoo hesitated at first but the mocking expression on Yukhei's face irritated him a lot, giving him the adrenaline to down a full shot of it. A frown showed up on his face as soon as the hard liquor went down his throat. It tasted bitter and weird as he had never drank it before. It went down his throat smoothly, but at the same time he felt like it was burning.

"What is this? It's bitter." He questioned.

"Vodka." Yukhei answered shortly before pouring another shot into his own glass and Jungwoo's.

"Hey, I don't want it." Jungwoo complained but it was too late; the glass was filled already.

"Drink it again, it tastes better after every shot." Said Yukhei as he took another one for himself.

Jungwoo's head filled with conflicting thoughts. He did not want it but the way Yukhei kept downing shot after shot so easily spiked curiosity within himself. He took a shot but it still felt and tasted the same: _bitter_. The liquor was cold yet it burned like fire in his throat. Neither the taste nor the smell did much to help satisfy his appetite, but curiosity was a powerful thing – and so he longed to discover the taste after a few shots, he wanted to see if the taste would really get better. But why was he trusting something that _Yukhei_ had said?

No words were spoken between them as they poured the alcohol down their throats. And so Yukhei was right, it tasted better every time Jungwoo took a shot, one after another. It was addicting as he had begun craving for more, whether it was the same vodka he was drinking before or a suspicious mix the bartender had passed to him. The world around him drifted in and out of focus as he felt both his body and mind become lighter.

Jungwoo stared into the glass in his hand before he shifted his gaze to look at Yukhei who was enjoying his own drinks. Jungwoo felt light, but at the same time a lot of random thoughts started to wander around inside his head, giving him the urge to break the silence and call the younger guy's name, "Yukhei."

Yukhei turned his head to face Jungwoo who was staring at him intensely with his drowsy eyes. He cocked an eyebrow, wondering if the latter had gotten tipsy already.

"Do you know the definition of personal space?" Jungwoo asked.

Yukhei blinked a few times, "What?"

"You never seem to be…aware of it. Like touching me or getting close to me suddenly, you shouldn't do that." Jungwoo complained with a voice that was higher than usual.

"What the fuck? Are you drunk already?"

"No. I am not." Jungwoo shook his head and he felt like swinging around.

"Don't tell me that you are a lightweight." Yukhei frowned, staring at Jungwoo and the empty glass in his hand.

Jungwoo frowned back before he leaned closer to Yukhei, "This is the first time I’ve drank alcohol. How can you expect me to know that?"

"Okay you better stop drinking." Yukhei tried to take away the glass from Jungwoo's hand but unfortunately, Jungwoo was fast enough to pull his hand away and pour another shot into the glass before drinking it.

"I want to tell you another thing. You should stop showing your bare chest to me...It should be illegal, y’know? Like during the vacation and that time when you had sex with Ten." Jungwoo whined like a little child.

He continued, "I hate it whenever you touch me or when I see you walk around shirtless. I feel like I’ll lose myself because of you."

"What are you saying? I didn't even touch you in _that_ way." Yukhei said.

"I shouldn't be attracted to the person I hate." Jungwoo spoke up honestly. He faced Yukhei again and stared right into his eyes, "I hate you, Yukhei."

Yukhei did not answer immediately but he did give Jungwoo an answer that was very predictable, "I hate you too, Jungwoo."

The older guy sighed, “hmmm, why does everything become a mess when it comes to you? I always seem to be helpless. I want to be in control yet...you keep taking the wheel away from me."

Jungwoo wanted to cry. He could not stop his mouth from blurting out everything he thought and felt. He always had them all locked down inside his heart, not letting anyone know about them. But at that time, everything was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to leave his mouth and letting Yukhei to know every single one of them.

"Why do you make deals even though you hate me? Why do you keep taking me out on the weekends, showing me things that I have never known before?" He questioned Yukhei who did nothing but mute himself.

Jungwoo looked up to the ceiling above them, preventing himself from letting tears drop down his flushed cheeks. Yukhei still did not say anything and Jungwoo could not figure out what the latter was thinking, not even the slightest.

Jungwoo continued to rant, "I hate it...I hate you...and everything about you. But what I hate the most is why I feel like you’re the one who understands me? My whole life was like a perfect story written by my dad. I have to do everything according to what he wants and I never complain because it satisfies me when things go as planned...or as he plans.

"But...it’s different when it comes t’you. It feels like you offer me a way to escape the world built by schedules and tasks. It feels like you know...no matter how much I try and close myself off from everyone and anything, I still feel lonely and hurt inside."

Yukhei turned to face Jungwoo as soon as he finished his words. The last sentence that blurted out of Jungwoo's mouth hit him hard. He could relate to that but the difference was, no matter how much he drowned himself in his own euphoria; sex and money – he still felt lonely and hurt inside; and he did not want anyone to know about it. Everything was like an escape for him and subconsciously he took Jungwoo into his chaos, to taste his world and to escape alongside with him.  

The hatred felt towards one another was mutual. They could state it over and over again until the whole world knew about it but, deep inside their hearts they realized that no one could understand them better than the person they hated the most. They did not want to admit it and they were in a total denial but, it was a fact and no matter how much they denied it, fate always put them together again, and again. _Tragic._

"I didn't do it for you. I did it so I can go out and have some fun." Yukhei explained but Jungwoo shook his head quickly.

"You told me that _I’m_ a good liar but aren't _you_ a liar yourself?" Jungwoo questioned him.

Yukhei took a shot before he spoke up, trying to defend himself from Jungwoo's accusation, "You don't know anything about me."

Jungwoo sighed. He did not know and he did not want to know either, but he could not help but to think out loud when he was this drunk. His eyes grew heavy and his face turned hot, whenever he turned his head, it felt like his surroundings were spinning around. The music sounded louder and the smell of alcohol became stronger. He was drunk. He was totally wasted and he finally realized it.

"Yukhei...We should just go to the hotel so my dad won't find out about this..." Jungwoo suggested.

"It's the weekend so your dad won't be home." Yukhei's face went puzzled.

Jungwoo shook his head a few times. He remembered the night where his dad lashed out at him, it made his skin crawl since he couldn’t quite seem to forget the event. He said, "No, we don't know. He might be there...like before.” Jungwoo’s voice grew quieter as he said, “He slapped me hard and it hurt a lot, you know?"

Yukhei frowned, but before he had the chance to ask anything, Jungwoo continued his sentence, "All I did was cover up for you but then I was the one who ended up getting hurt."

The alcohol had made even Yukhei tipsy, but he still remembered the event that the latter was referring to. A sudden wave of guilt pressed against his heart as he realized that his guess was right. Mr. Kim had slapped him. He wanted to apologize, but the words were stuck in his throat. His ego and pride stopped him from doing so.

"Okay then we will go back to the hotel instead." He said.

"That's good, but you should drink some more before we go... Right?" Jungwoo smiled wide, raising the bottle of hard liquor with his right hand.

"No, thanks." Yukhei declined.

Jungwoo pouted, "Then I should drink it for you..."

Yukhei turned to face Jungwoo who was about to pour it down his throat. Jungwoo's behavior was weird already and he did not want it to get worse. He was afraid that he would not be able to stop Jungwoo if he let him drink any more. He quickly took away the bottle and cursed, "Shit. Okay...I will drink."

* * *

Finally, Jungwoo and Yukhei arrived at the hotel that was not located too far from the night club. Jungwoo was totally drunk – it was very obvious from the way he talked and walked, forcing Yukhei to support him by holding his waist while Jungwoo put his arm around Yukhei’s shoulder. The taller guy himself was not sober either – he was tipsy enough to walk messily, but at least he was still able to differentiate things, talk to the hotel receptionist and book a room for two.

"Yukhei, I hate you so much..." Jungwoo blabbered again as they entered the elevator.

"I hate you too." Yukhei answered honestly while tapping the card onto the machine and pressed the floor button.

"I hate you even more than I hate Jaehyun." Jungwoo said as Jaehyun’s face suddenly showed up on his mind.

"Jaehyun?" Yukhei asked as he heard a stranger’s name.

Jungwoo shook his head and smiled bitterly. "You don't have to know. It's not important." He said before he turned his face slowly to face Yukhei, forming a gap of only a few centimeters between their faces. Jungwoo softly mumbled the younger’s name, "Hey, Yukhei..."

"What?" Yukhei answered with a single word, feeling weird because of the sudden closeness.

"It’s really too bad that your personality is shit…because you are really handsome.” Jungwoo said before he let out a soft chuckle.

"Thanks, you too." Yukhei scoffed. He has initially thought that the drunk Jungwoo was very different from his usual self, but in fact, he was still annoying as always.

"If your personality wasn't that bad you would be a total turn on for me..." Jungwoo stared into Yukhei’s eyes with a drowsy gaze – something that he would never do when he was sober, and then moved down to watching Yukhei’s lips.

"You are drunk."

"Yukhei, do you think that I am attractive? Because I think you are... physically attractive..." Jungwoo said as a sweet smile showed up on his face, right before the elevator’s door opened and Yukhei had to walk themselves to _their_ room.

Yukhei didn't want to admit it, but he was sure that Jungwoo would’ve been way too drunk to even remember what he said, so he just blurted out the fact, "I think you are pretty."

The sweet smile grew bigger across Jungwoo's face. He had always thought that Yukhei was physically attractive – he had the visual that everyone would die for. It might be because of the alcohol, but Yukhei seemed twenty times more attractive than his usual self. Jungwoo leaned closer to Yukhei, letting his nose touch the latter's neck and nuzzling it softly. It was just like back then during their vacation where Yukhei reeked of alcohol and Jungwoo hated it, but it was different this time.

Yukhei still reeked of alcohol but there was something else other than that; a slight scent that captivated him. _Was it his perfume?_ It was sweet, but not too sweet; slightly spicy and warm; almost flowery but also masculine. Jungwoo could not describe it precisely, but he had no doubt that the scent stimulated him like an aphrodisiac.

Never once had he thought that the mere physical attraction that he had towards Yukhei would result in both his mind and heart filling with sexual desires and lust. It had been a long time for him to feel something like that; wanting someone to take over him and bring heaven to his face.

“Can I kiss you?" Jungwoo asked right after Yukhei managed to unlock the key and get themselves into the room.

"What?" Yukhei asked obliviously.

"Don’t make me ask again." Jungwoo pouted before he moved slightly, putting his other arm around Yukhei’s neck and stood right before the taller guy.

"We might regret it in the morning." Yukhei said.

"We will." Jungwoo smiled – it was not a fake smile like the usual one that Jungwoo had, but neither was it a pure or sweet smile. The smile was more like a smirk, apparently a provocative one to prompt Yukhei into agreeing with him.

Yukhei had a lot of drunk sex before and sure, it was one of the best. But it was different this time, the guy who was standing in front of him was none other than the person he hated, Jungwoo. It was war between his brain, his ego, and his sexual desire. He had to get his sense back, there was no way he would fuck Jungwoo. At least it what was his brain and his ego told him but, the lustful desire inside his heart told him something different.

Finally, after leaving Jungwoo hanging for a while, the war settled and the desire within himself won as he leaned closer to the older guy, making their lips meet and putting his arms around his waist. Everything was a mess but it was also a beautiful one. He did not know what was right and what was wrong anymore. He felt right doing the wrong thing and felt wrong doing the right thing.

The kiss did not last long as Jungwoo broke it first. He stared into Yukhei's eyes before he parted his lips to speak up his mind, "Yukhei, your lips taste like... what was it again? Vodka?" a soft chuckle left his lips before he continued, "bitter but...addicting."

Jungwoo ended his sentence with another kiss.  They indulged themselves in their bitter flavored kiss – intoxicating yet addicting at the same time. There was only fading hatred and lust, tense air lingered around them, slipping between each kisses. They were attracted to each other physically, masking their despisal toward one another and letting themselves drown in the ecstasy.

Yukhei started to move his hands, placing them on the back side of Jungwoo's body – exploring every inch of it from the back of his head, the strands of his hair, until the very end of his back. Jungwoo did the same as he draped his arms around Yukhei's neck as their heads moved following every kiss.

Jungwoo knew that they would regret everything in the morning. He was scared to have Yukhei to touch him; he felt like he would lose himself in his burning touch. He was under the influence of alcohol, barely even conscious of what was right or wrong anymore. Yukhei was the person that he supposedly hated yet here he was. It was something that was supposed to be so wrong, but every touch felt right.

They broke the kiss and their tongues detached from one another, letting their heavy breaths escape their mouths and embrace the small gap between their faces. Their eyes met, whispering unspeakable desires that no words could even describe. Jungwoo pushed Yukhei to the bed and crawled above him, straddling him between his legs.

"We will regret this for sure." Jungwoo spoke up the truth, but he did not want to back away.

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, giving Yukhei a clear view of the skin beneath it. It was always like this when he was with Yukhei. Everything became messy and chaotic. Plans got ruined and tables turned. He realized something, but it might be because of the alcohol, was there within his blood. The thing that he felt and denied, the one that he thought was anxious or anger, it was nothing but a strong feeling of excitement. Each touch kept fueling it like a fire.

Yukhei could not take his eyes off the guy on top of him. The room was dim and everything was blurry, but Jungwoo was still beautiful as the way had always been. Jungwoo's face was scarlet and his eyes were drowsy. Never once he thought that he would see Jungwoo in that kind of state – it was lewd and erotic, something that he had never thought of even within his dirtiest fantasy.

Their bodies were attracted to each other like gravity – none of them could defy the strong pull of it. They did realize that they were incompatible in many ways, but their bodies told them otherwise. Their eyes glazed with lust and their minds filled with dirty thoughts. Every touch felt electrifying and every brush of a fingertip left them craving for more.

It was rough, intense, and heady, fueled by the controlling desire and filled with pure lust. Something that was supposed to be a mistake seemed so perfect at the same time.

They could not help but fall for every touch.


	21. Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo remembered the face that Yukhei made when he reached his climax – all lewd and erotic. Jungwoo admitted that Yukhei looked like a total mess, a beautiful one. He remembered the way Yukhei was on top of him, breathing heavily and lips slightly parted, blurting out dirty talk and curse words at him. Usually, Jungwoo was always against cursing but that night, he swore that it was what he wanted to hear the most from Yukhei. Dirty.

Jungwoo cursed.

His head hurt and so did his lower body. He stared blankly at the beige ceiling above him, before shifting his gaze to his side where he saw a familiar guy sleeping beside him. Jungwoo sighed as he realized that the nightmare he had was no less than a reality. He did not say that the _event_ itself was horrible but, the fact that he did it with the guy he hated was a horror for him.

Half of the memories from last night were blurry to him – he could not recall most of them, especially things that he had said or heard but, unfortunately, the lewd scenes with Yukhei were fresh and ingrained inside his head. It was more likely that the painful feeling in his back forced him to remember those things.

It was not his first time, but the last time he had done something like that was four years ago, and honestly, he had almost forgot what it felt like already – until he had a rough, heady night with Yukhei. Jungwoo felt his face become warmer. He was sure enough that his face had turned bright red because of the embarrassment he felt.

Jungwoo sighed before he got off the bed slowly and strolled to the bathroom, wanting to rid himself of the alcohol waste inside him. His stomach hurt and he felt nauseous. Vomiting was one of the most horrendous feelings that Jungwoo had ever experienced in his life. He felt bad – _really_ , _really_ bad, almost horrible.

Jungwoo regretted everything and cursed a lot in the back of his mind. He knew that there was no advantage in crying over a spilt milk, but it was only until he stood before the bathroom mirror and saw his reflection on it. He widened his eyes and got closer to the mirror, trying to get a clear view of his own reflection.

Hickeys and – _well_ – some bite marks were here and there, appearing all over his neck, chest, and even on his inner thighs. _I knew it,_ Jungwoo muttered as he realized that his guess about Yukhei’s kink was right. Wait, _no_. He should not think about it – he was supposed not to care about Yukhei and his “kinkiness”. Even though, honestly, deep down inside his heart he admitted that it was quite sexy. Jungwoo coughed, even he, himself, could not believe that he agreed to such thing.

“What the fuck. No. Oh my god.” Jungwoo scoffed, trying to shove that nasty thought away.

Jungwoo ruffled his hair out of frustration, turning it into a complete mess. He should have known that alcohol was off-limits to him and he had no other choice but to fully blame everything on his poor choice – and his own curiosity, of course. The usual _Kim Jungwoo_ would never do something recklessly like that. Not once had he thought that, just because of the pride within himself not wanting to get mocked by Yukhei, he would end up in bed with him.

Jungwoo’s gaze went back to the mirror again and he saw his own reflection; his hair now freshly unkempt. Jungwoo’s brain tried to prevent himself from panicking – he needed to get things straight; he had to make a _to-do-list_ inside his head so he would be able to stay calm once he got out the bathroom and faced Yukhei again.

Firstly, he had to cleanse both his mind and his body that were filled with dirty thoughts and marks everywhere. Secondly, he had to plan all the things that he would say to Yukhei beforehand. Lastly, he had to stay calm, acting like _nothing_ had ever happened the night before. It was not like Jungwoo wasn’t aware that Yukhei could easily take the wheel away from him but, at _least_ , he could try.

The thought of it made Jungwoo’s release a long sigh. He felt his own skin and cringed immediately because of the stickiness of it – which was more than enough for him to hop into the shower quickly to wash the dirtiness away.

On the other side of the room, Yukhei just woke up with a pain in his head. He opened his eyes slowly while his brain began to process everything; where he was, what happened the night before, and who he was with. Once his eyes were fully open, he scanned the entire room and stopped once he saw a silhouette behind the shower curtain through the glass that parted the rooms. Yukhei stared in the same direction until the memory of last night struck him and he remembered.

_He fucked Kim Jungwoo._

Yukhei quickly sat up in the bed and saw their clothes scattered everywhere, as if they were tossed away carelessly — and he knew that was exactly what happened. _Wow_ , he thought in the back of his mind – and could not think of any word that suited the situation any better. He got out of the bed, took his boxers that lay near the couch and walked to the giant mirror that was located next to the wardrobe.

He looked like a mess – totally wasted, but he admitted that it was actually some of the best sex he had ever had in his life. There were no marks on his body, giving him the impression that the older guy was not really into _that._ At least it was what he thought until he turned around and saw all the red scratches that streaked down his back. He immediately took back his thought from before – Jungwoo was actually into _that_ kind of thing _._ Kinky _._

Yukhei let out a deep sigh. No matter how amazing it was last night, Yukhei could not believe that he would touch Jungwoo for real. He was the logical type of person, but he guessed that the alcohol had successfully kill both his rationality and brain cells. Yukhei could not recall his memory fully – he could say that he forgot all the small talk with Jungwoo but, other than that, everything was perfectly stored inside his memory.

Yukhei remembered the way Jungwoo talked about his problems, including the one where he said that Yukhei was the only person that could understand him best. Yukhei wasn’t sure whether it was because of his empathy or the alcohol, but he admitted that he could relate to him.

Yukhei remembered his own thoughts about taking Jungwoo on his escape from the harsh reality to his own euphoria. He did not know why would he think of something like that, but he knew that it was not wrong at all. Everyone who saw their life told them that they were perfect and flawless, but only the two of them knew that behind the fake reality, there was nothing but cage, limitations, and unreachable dreams.

Last but not least, he remembered the sex that he had with Jungwoo – how intense and rough it was; fueled by pure lust and hatred toward one another. It was twisted yet addicting, where every touch felt like heaven and he could not even differentiate what was right and what was wrong anymore. He still remembered the expression that was plastered on Jungwoo’s face when their bodies became one and Yukhei swore that Jungwoo looked erotically beautiful.

Yukhei had a lot of sexual fantasies and he admitted that the sex that he had with Jungwoo had surpassed all of those dirty fantasies. Jungwoo was beautiful; sweat glistening on his forehead, tears gathered on the corner of his eyes, and mouth gaped in pleasure – the memory was too vivid to the point that Yukhei had to stop thinking about it or else he would get hard again – or maybe he already was.

Yukhei ruffled his hair in frustration as he tried his best to shove all the dirty thoughts from his mind. It was not like he hated the sex. Honestly speaking, he loved it – so did his body – but, he hated that he enjoyed the sex with his own enemy, Jungwoo. Well, he knew that it was possible to be physically attracted to the person he hated, even to have hate sex with him but, it never once crossed his mind that he would do it in real life.

Yukhei was all about pride and ego, he knew that Jungwoo was the same. Soberly speaking, it was obviously the things that Yukhei would never throw away in his right mind. Nevertheless, it was scary that both alcohol and lust could eradicate pride and ego all so easily. Yukhei wondered how tempting Jungwoo was to convince _Yukhei_ would lay a finger on him. Another vivid image of Jungwoo being on top of him – all naked and sweaty – answered his question, making Yukhei rub his own temple in distress. As if thinking about _that_ would help him calm his lower-body part, he thought in the back of his mind, cursing.

While the tall guy got lost in his own thoughts, Jungwoo finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He strolled out the bathroom and his eyes immediately caught Yukhei as soon as he opened the door. The awkwardness around them increased rapidly as their eyes met accidentally, making the older guy shift his eyes away to stare at anything but Yukhei. He remembered the plan he had set inside his brain – he had to stay calm and act like nothing had ever happened the night before.

Jungwoo continued his step into the bedroom while collecting the clothes that were scattered everywhere – even he himself wondered how his underwear lay next to the bed while his shirt had been banished to the corner of the room. He tried to walk comfortably, clearly not wanting Yukhei to know that he had a sore bottom. Unfortunately, he could not hide it perfectly as he had to crouch down to collect his clothes and he swore he could hear a soft chuckle from Yukhei’s direction.

“I guess we were too rough last night.” Yukhei said, while staring at Jungwoo whose face turned bright red. Yukhei pointed his finger at Jungwoo’s neck and said, “It seems like you’ll be wearing turtlenecks for the next few days.”

“And whose fault is this?” Said Jungwoo, rolling his eyes in annoyance while trying to cover the marks with his hand.

Yukhei turned around and showed his back to Jungwoo, whose eyes widened as soon as he saw the younger’s back full of scratches made by no other than Jungwoo’s fingers. The scratches were still all fresh – exactly the same way as the marks that were _crafted_ on his body.

“You’re talking like you didn’t make a single mark on _me_.” Yukhei complained, making the other guy turn into a total mess.

Jungwoo became speechless, totally in shock that he would do such shameful thing like _that_. He had never done that before, no matter how rough or intense the sex was. Jungwoo avoided meeting Yukhei’s eyes, which usually was the best thing to do once he felt embarrassed or intimidated by the latter but, at that time, he regretted it right away as his eyes caught Yukhei’s tone abs and _something_ below that instead.

Both the abs and – _well_ – the bulge in Yukhei’s boxers was obviously distracting. Jungwoo tried his best to bury the memory from the night before, but seeing those things made Jungwoo dig them out again. He remembered the way Yukhei touched him. It felt like steam and fire, creating a burning sensation on his skin that followed the traces of the touch. He remembered the way Yukhei kissed him. It was messy and sloppy, wet and bitter. Their lips even barely brushed each other when Yukhei thrusted hard into him.

He remembered the face that Yukhei made when he reached his climax – all lewd and erotic. Jungwoo admitted that Yukhei looked like a total mess, a beautiful one. He remembered the way Yukhei was on top of him, breathing heavily and lips slightly parted, blurting out dirty talk and curse words at him. Usually, Jungwoo was always against cursing but that night, he swore that it was what he wanted to hear the most from Yukhei. _Dirty._

_Oh my goodness gracious. Kim Jungwoo, stop._

“Are you thinking something dirty?” Yukhei questioned him suddenly, bringing Jungwoo back to the reality.

“Wha—” Jungwoo looked down as Yukhei averted his eyes from Jungwoo’s face to his lower-body part, which obviously got hardened with the dirty image within his head. “Fuck.” Jungwoo cursed.

“I didn’t know that you were _that_ desperate.” Yukhei mocked, even though he also experienced the same thing before.

“Stop it, Yukhei.” Jungwoo said, glaring at Yukhei while his hands tried to cover his hardened part.

“You said the otherwise last night.”

“Oh my fucking god, Yukhei. No.”

“Yes, you said that.” Said the tall guy while nodding a few times.

Jungwoo almost screamed out of the embarrassment he felt. He was sure enough that his face had turned all red like a tomato. He had never felt that ashamed in his entire life, making Yukhei the very first person that was able to turn him into a mess like that all in the span of sixty seconds. All of the plan he had mustered inside his brain was ruined, as if the tables had completely flipped, contradicting what he had planned before.

“Okay, listen. Don’t ever talk about this again. Don’t. Even. Try.” Jungwoo demanded.

“Yeah, sure.” Yukhei answered as a sly grin showed up on his face, feeling satisfied with making the older guy embarrassed. Jungwoo was about to open his mouth before Yukhei continued his words, not giving any chance for Jungwoo to talk back at him.

“I’ll take a shower so you can wear your clothes now.” Said Yukhei as he got into the bathroom and took a morning shower – one to cleanse all the stickiness on his skin, and also the dirty thoughts off his mind. It would not happen again after all; he should not think of it anymore.

 

Yukhei’s shower didn’t last too long and he made sure that his skin was no longer sticky. Yukhei could feel the pain on his back when the water touched the scratches that Jungwoo had carved into his skin – as if the pain was trying to remind him that it would be impossible to forget the _accident_.

Yukhei wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out the bathroom, entering the main bedroom that was filled with nothing but silence. Jungwoo sat at the corner of the bed while playing with his phone, portraying a perfect déjà vu of what Yukhei had saw during their so-called _vacation_ together. He still remembered that day clearly – well, there was no way he would forget the way Jungwoo kicked him in the morning just because of a hug. The events were almost similar, with Yukhei out drinking at night and a hangover in the morning. But this time, _surprisingly_ , the tall guy could not think of a morning any worse.

“Your phone keeps buzzing non-stop.” Jungwoo said without even glancing at Yukhei.

Yukhei did not answer. He took his phone instead and checked the phone log, wondering who would call him at a time like that. His dad? No. There’s no way it would be his dad.

“Oh, it’s Sicheng.” Yukhei said right after he checked the log and found Sicheng’s name on the top list, right beside the number of the calls that he had missed; _fifteen_.

Yukhei pressed the button to call his friend back, and it didn’t take long for him to reach Sicheng. Yukhei could hear Sicheng’s voice among the crowd, indicating that the latter was probably outside.

 _“Yukhei, are you with Jungwoo right now?”_ Asked Sicheng after Yukhei greeted him with a _‘hi’_.

Yukhei took a glance at Jungwoo who was still doing the same thing as before and answered, “Yes, unfortunately.”

 _“Let’s have lunch together at 12! I’m currently at the Times Square right now, don’t be late!”_ Sicheng demanded before he ended the call, not giving Yukhei any chance to talk.

Yukhei scratched his head as he checked the time and a soft sigh left his mouth. He shifted his gaze from his phone to Jungwoo and said, “Sicheng wants to meet us in 30 minutes. He wants us to have lunch together with him.”

“What? Can we go home first? Or can _I_ go home first?” Jungwoo scoffed as he finally faced the younger guy.

Yukhei objected, “No. Sicheng wants you to go as well.”

“But–” Jungwoo was about to complain before Yukhei cut his sentence off, reminding him of the deal they had, “It’s Sunday and you have to follow the rules. You have to go out with me,” He said.

“But my clothes–” Jungwoo complained as he pointed out the visible mark on his neck that could not be covered by his collar.

“He won’t notice.”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes as soon as he heard Yukhei’s reply. He parted his lips and spoke up in a mocking tone, “Sure, he doesn’t have eyes.”

“Sicheng told me not to be late. Do you want to see him angry?” Yukhei asked, causing Jungwoo to knit his eyebrows together.

“Hey, that’s unfair.” Jungwoo protested.

“You don’t want to disappoint your _friend_ , do you?” Yukhei asked again. He really knew how to play the game and when to pull the trump card.

Jungwoo let out a deep sigh as he finally gave up. _It was just Sicheng_ , he thought. He knew that Sicheng would not be annoying enough to ask him what he did not want to answer; or maybe he hoped so.

“Okay and,” Jungwoo said before breaking the eye contact and shifting his gaze to anything else but Yukhei. He continued, “p-put on your clothes, piñata head.”

* * *

 

 _Why_?

That was the only word that Jungwoo could think of at the moment he saw that Sicheng was not alone in comparison to what he had imagined before. Sicheng was sitting in front him, right beside the other two familiar guys; Mark and, unfortunately, Ten. Jungwoo thought that Sicheng was _alone,_ and that was the only reason he was there; even with the rumpled clothes from the day before that already had the smell of alcohol and perfume.

“Jungwoo, are you okay?” Sicheng asked after his eyes scanned the Korean guy’s appearance from the tip of his head to the bottom of his feet.

“Yes, I’m okay. I just had a bad morning.” Jungwoo answered before he sat across them, followed by Yukhei who sat next to him.

“You look… messier than usual.” Ten said with a giggle. It was obvious that his curiosity would never let him miss any _piping_ _tea_ – his mind already had the guess though.

Jungwoo immediately glared at Ten, clearly telling him to shut up. Therefore, the Thai guy only rolled his eyes and sipped on his drink, ignoring the glare that Jungwoo gave him. A soft sigh left Sicheng’s mouth before he gave the menu book to Jungwoo and Yukhei. He did not know what had happened between Jungwoo and Ten – honestly, he did not want to know either – but it would be great if they did not treat each other like that forever.

“Why didn’t you just tell me yesterday that you want to hang out?” Yukhei asked, half serious and half complaining.

Sicheng raised an eyebrow. “I texted you last night but you didn’t reply.” He said.

“Oh,” Yukhei scratched his nape, feeling guilty as he had not even check his inbox once since he got into the club. He apologized, “yeah, sorry. I guess I was busy.”

“I called you more than ten times before and you didn’t answer.” Sicheng protested as he put a fries into his mouth.

“I was in the shower.”

“Where did you go last night without us?” Ten asked, trying to collect as much information as he could.

“I went to the club.” Yukhei spoke the truth, but he did not want to give them the full story of what had happened after that.

“Without us.” Ten answered in annoyance.

Yukhei laughed. “Don’t be salty. Let’s go there again later.”

“Not today, of course.” Jungwoo said right away, not giving any of them the chance to go to the club again. Jungwoo swore he did not want to make the same mistake as before.

“Sure, it seems like someone just had a rough night before.” Ten said mockingly without facing Jungwoo whose eyes were widened like a deer in the headlights.

 _“Do you want to die?”_ Jungwoo thought in the back of his mind while sending another death glare to Ten.

“Oh,” Mark, who had not said anything before, suddenly decided to open his mouth after he noticed _something_ _weird_. He continued, “what’s on your neck, Jungwoo? Did you get punched??”

Jungwoo froze, not knowing how to answer nor react – he just wanted to dig a hole and bury himself inside, which he obviously would do if it was not impossible. The questions had successfully made Sicheng choke on his food and Ten snorted on his drink. Jungwoo took a glance at Yukhei, who clearly tried to leave the situation to Jungwoo and focus on the menu book, as if he did not hear anything at all.

“Uh, oh… It was… my pet.” Jungwoo lied. A dumb excuse, he knew.

Mark cocked an eyebrow and Ten was about to burst a laughter before he asked, “Your _pet_?”

“Y-yeah. My pet was annoying,” Jungwoo stuttered.

“Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Mark asked worriedly.

“No. I will be okay. Don’t worry.” Jungwoo answered, giving him a not-so-convincing smile.

Actually, Jungwoo felt a little bit relieved that the Canadian guy was innocent. The only person who made him worry the most was Ten, he kept giving him dirty looks like he _knew_ _everything_ that had happened the night before. First of all, Ten was Yukhei’s sex friend and of course he would know that the bruise on Jungwoo’s neck was Yukhei’s fault – let alone his messy appearance and crumpled shirts – something that the usual _Kim Jungwoo_ would never wear.

“Your _pet_ sure was naughty.” Ten giggled, making the smile on Jungwoo’s face fade away.

“S-Shut up,” said Jungwoo.

“You look messy and you have a bruise on your neck. Are you sure you’re okay?” Mark shot another question at Jungwoo.

“Y-yeah. I’m _perfectly_ fine," Jungwoo lied.

“Let me check it for you so Mark doesn’t have to worry anymore," said Ten with a grin.

“What?” Jungwoo asked before he shook his head a few times and rejected the offer. “No, no, no.”

“It doesn’t look like your _pet_ ’s fault though. It looks like a hi–” Ten leered, making the Korean guy widen his eyes in shock.

“No!!” Jungwoo shouted, cutting Ten’s sentence at the right time.

Yukhei suddenly tilted his head to face Jungwoo, whose face was already scarlet. Jungwoo glared at him, showing the ‘ _help-me-out’_ and ‘ _this-is-all-your-fault’_ expression to him. But unfortunately, Yukhei only replied with a smirk, and Jungwoo knew that it was not a good sign; he was soon right.

“Yeah, Jungwoo. Want to show us your neck?” Asked Yukhei in a teasing way. At first, he tried to avoid the conversation as much as he could but, after seeing how flustered Jungwoo was and hearing his stupid excuse, Yukhei could not help but to tease him as usual.

Jungwoo wanted to run away – either to lock himself in his room or bury himself somewhere far so no one could ever find him anymore. Unfortunately, he could not do either and the only option he had was to stay there and feel embarrassed. He never felt so attacked before – especially since the one who was actually at fault did not do anything but tease him instead.

Jungwoo took a glance at Sicheng – his last resort – and gave him puppy eyes, hoping that the older guy would do something to help him escape the shameful situation. The good thing was, Sicheng got the signal and finally spoke up, “Okay guys, stop scaring Jungwoo like that. If Jungwoo says he’s fine, then he’s fine. Don’t bully him.”

Mark pouted right after he heard Sicheng’s accusation. “I didn’t bully him. I was worried about him,” he said.

“Yeah, me too!” Ten shouted, trying to defend himself.

“Ten.” Sicheng glared at the Thai guy, and Jungwoo felt satisfied once he saw that.

“You are no fun,” Ten said with a pout. “I just want to have some fun as well.”

“Porn sites are available for 24 hours, you can just go home and watch it if you want to have fun. Don’t tease Jungwoo like that.” Said Sicheng as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“What? Why porn sites?” Mark questioned and suddenly everyone became mute.

Sicheng felt like he was digging his own grave and everyone but Mark avoided eye contact with him. _Wow, top ten anime betrayals –_ he cursed in the back of his mind. Mark stared at him innocently and Sicheng felt guilty that he almost spilled the real _tea_ a second ago. Eventually, after a brief silence, Sicheng collected himself and answered, “…no, Mark. It’s nothing.”

“Is there any correlation between Jungwoo’s bruise and porn sites?” Mark asked again.

Honestly, Jungwoo was amazed by how innocent and blunt Mark was. Well, it might be an advantage for him, but it seemed like Ten would never let Jungwoo breathe freely.

“Maybe he watched it with his _pet_ and then _things_ happened,” Ten said.

Yukhei cleared his throat before he asked again, “What’s your answer, Jungwoo?”

“Wow, Jungwoo. That’s so… weird.” Mark said while giving Jungwoo a dirty look.

“Your _pet_ must be _so naughty_.” Yukhei mocked as he saw Jungwoo’s expression – all embarrassed and flustered.

“I have seen his _pet_ before,” Ten said, “and yeah, he’s naughty.”

“Stop it,” Jungwoo groaned in frustration.

“Jungwoo, do you mind if I come over to your house after this so I can _play_ with your _pet_ too?” Ten questioned him again, encouraging an immediate eye roll from Jungwoo.

Jungwoo answered, “You can just take him with you. I don’t want him at my house anymore.”

“Jungwoo, that’s not nice at all,” Mark said as he knitted his eyebrows together.

“Yes, Jungwoo. That’s not nice at all.” Yukhei agreed, quoting Mark’s sentence. The smirk was still on his face, and it would be always there as long as he felt satisfied with what he had done to Jungwoo; turning him into a mess.

“It’s unexpected that Jungwoo is into pet play,” said Ten before he shook his head in disbelief, making both Yukhei and Sicheng cough after they heard the last two words.

“Pet play?” Mark turned his head to face Ten, and of course the Thai guy would not stop his mouth from blurting non-sense.

“Yes, Mark. Jungwoo likes to play with his _pet_ while wearing collar and cat ears,” Ten answered with a chuckle.

“He scratches a lot too. That’s why his _pet_ attacked him back,” Yukhei added.

Mark turned to face Jungwoo again and gave him another dirty look before he spoke up, “You have a weird relationship with your pet.”

“No! Oh my god. Fuck you, Yukhei.” Jungwoo raised his voice in frustration.

“Isn’t it the other way around?” Yukhei replied.

Mark looked completely lost, while Jungwoo was a second away from murdering the guy beside him. He was reminded of his last conversation with Doyoung; if he could commit murder without being a criminal, he might have killed Yukhei at that time – or maybe he would have killed him a long time ago. It was just unbelievable that Mark and Yukhei were the same age but Mark was way too innocent and Yukhei was like an incarnation of Lucifer.

“You three, can you keep that conversation for later? Why don’t we talk about other things that Mark can understand?” Sicheng questioned, but it was more like a demand than a question.

“You sound like a mom,” Ten mumbled.

Sicheng rolled his eyes. “Yes and I can kick your asses out of here if you keep talking about this.”

“You can’t do that to Jungwoo, though. His ass hurts already,” Ten leered.

“Ten, can you shut up please?” Sicheng groaned.

“Sicheng, why don’t you just join the fun?” Ten asked with a pout. Sicheng did not answer him with words. Instead, he threw hands at Ten and if Mark was not sat between them, no one would have separated them from getting into a fight.

“Okay, okay. Chill,” Ten shrugged and looked away, avoiding any eye contact with Sicheng who was sending him death glares.

Jungwoo looked down and face-palmed, regretting his own decision to be there. Not once had he thought that the event would turn into something like this; mostly because Ten was there but, the worst thing was the fact that Yukhei was just being himself – a piñata head who liked to embarrass him and turn him complete into a mess.

Jungwoo tilted his head slightly to take a glance at Yukhei – expecting him to act like nothing happened like always – but, instead of that, he caught Yukhei staring at him. Their eyes met in a second before Yukhei smirked at him again. It was another mischievous smirk that seemed to have several meanings in it, but Jungwoo’s mind could not even process nor guess any of those anymore. The simple expression held multiple implications that Jungwoo was just unable to decipher. Or more like he was too scared to after he had crumbled into such an embarrassed mess so quickly.

So it was no surprise that he wanted to run away and disappear.


	22. Bad Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you really think that I wouldn’t be able to see through your lies?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so slow at updating. Enjoy :')

The cold war started again.

Jungwoo had been trying to avoid Yukhei for days, trying to forget all the embarrassing memories tainting his thoughts – which was actually impossible. His brain always took him to _that_ night whenever his eyes landed on Yukhei at the university or when they passed each other in the hallway. No words were spoken between them, and Jungwoo wanted to run away whenever his eyes accidentally met Yukhei’s. But, first of all, why was Jungwoo even stealing glances at Yukhei — to the point where they would make eye contact several times? Either he _knew_ the answer or denied that he did.

A few days passed by quickly and Jungwoo began to feel anxious again since he had to deal with Yukhei over fast approaching weekend — which happened to the next day. Jungwoo tried to list some possible excuses that he could use to get him out of going with Yukhei, but he knew the younger guy would see through all the lies. Jungwoo was a good liar, but when it came to excuses and reasoning, he was far from it.

It was past eleven in the evening and Jungwoo heard a sudden knock on his door. He quickly stood up and walked toward the door, guessing that it might be his butler since no one else would disturb him at night like that. Second guess, it would be his dad but, the possibility was just too small. He would just send the butler to his room instead of coming by himself.

The first guess was right as Jungwoo saw his butler standing in front of him once the door opened. The butler bowed politely before greeting him, “Good evening, Young Master.”

Jungwoo nodded and asked, “Good evening. Did something happen?”

“I deeply apologize for disturbing you at night but Mr. Kim is currently waiting for Young Master Jungwoo and Yukhei in the living room downstairs,” informed the Butler.

Jungwoo cocked an eyebrow. “Yukhei?” He questioned.

“Yes. Mr. Kim wanted to meet Young Master Yukhei as well,” answered the old man.

“Does my dad look furious or angry?” Jungwoo questioned again but in a lower voice.

“I apologize again but Mr. Kim is currently waiting and he doesn’t want to wait long,” stated the Butler before he excused himself without satisfying Jungwoo’s curiosity.

Jungwoo frowned, hoping that nothing bad had happened. He walked out of his room immediately and went to Yukhei’s, knocking on the door a few times until Yukhei opened it.

“Done with running away?” asked Yukhei as soon as they faced each other.

“My dad wants to meet us downstairs,” said Jungwoo, ignoring Yukhei’s question.

“That’s rare. What happened?” Yukhei asked in puzzlement.

“I don’t know either. Come on, don’t make him wait,” Jungwoo demanded.

They walked together and Jungwoo could not help but to feel anxious and frightened the whole time, until they arrived in the living room. Mr. Kim was there, reading some papers consisting of tables filled with numbers. Jungwoo blinked a few times noticing that the papers were the reports from the previous exams. Jungwoo felt his heart began to race faster and, once again, he just wanted to run away.

“Good evening, dad,” Jungwoo greeted politely with a bow and Yukhei followed him from his side.

“Good evening, boys. Sit down, please,” demanded Mr. Kim, the two young guys obey him at once.

“Is everything fine, dad?” Jungwoo questioned.

Mr. Kim nodded. “I have received the exam reports for you both and I am satisfied with them,” he said before handing the papers to Jungwoo.

Jungwoo took the papers and checked all the numbers that were written on it – all black, no red marks at all. Jungwoo was satisfied with his own grades, all straight A’s like what he had expected before. He also checked Yukhei’s and was amazed by the fact that Yukhei got all A’s as well, even in his Korean exam.

A soft smile lit up his features, an overwhelming feeling of relief flooded his system after seeing results. Yukhei noticed the smile and took a peek at the reports, and even he himself was amazed by his own grades. He remembered the hellish week Jungwoo had put him through, but Jungwoo had really kept to his own words by helping him getting all A’s — just as  he had guaranteed before.

“Good job, both of you.” Mr. Kim praised them and Jungwoo’s smile widened as soon as he heard the compliment.

“Thank you very much, dad.” Jungwoo answered happily.

“This is what I expect from you two – especially _you_ , Jungwoo – perfect grades with no flaws,” said Mr. Kim before patting the young guys’ shoulders.

Jungwoo nodded proudly. “Yes, dad,” he answered.

“Yukhei, I will inform your dad about this. He must be so proud of you,” said the old man.

“Thank you, Mr. Kim,” said Yukhei as he bowed politely.

“You can go back to your rooms now. Please keep this up. I will expect grades to be no lower than this from now on,” Mr. Kim demanded.

“Yes, dad. Good evening,” Jungwoo greeted his dad again before he walked upstairs with Yukhei.

Jungwoo felt so proud and relieved, especially since things had gone well  — according to what he wanted. That was it. That was exactly what he had always wanted since the beginning. He knew that hard work would never betray him, and he was glad even though Yukhei despised the study sessions, he did an excellent job on the tests. He knew it was mostly because of his Spartan teaching method, but he also knew that it wouldn’t have happened if Yukhei had not agreed to it in the first place and studied hard all day.

Jungwoo was about to enter his room before he turned around to see Yukhei behind him. He said, “Yukhei, you did a really good job!”

Yukhei did not answer; perhaps he was surprised by the sudden compliment. It was the second time for Jungwoo to praise him like that, even though it seemed like Jungwoo did not realize that he just complimented his own enemy.

It was not like he hated being praised by Jungwoo – it was just weird. He had been receiving ton of praises in his life, whether it was because of his visuals, money, or fame. Whenever it was, people showered him with compliments that were full of adoration, envy, and _need._ It happened all the time to the point where it finally occurred to him that some people only approached him because of his fame and money – thankfully none of his friends were like that.

The only thing that he had never been complimented for was his achievements, and it was tragic. People only praised him for what he was gifted with and not for what he achieved. No matter how hard he tried to achieve something, people always said that it was only because of his money and fame. Some people were ignorant, acting as if nothing happened or shoving him away as if what he had done was wrong; even though it was not. That was why he decided not to try too hard on anything, nor did he try hard to achieve anything.

But, it was different this time. Jungwoo had not told him to go away, or said that it was only because of his method. Sure, Mr. Kim praised him too, but it was more like an expectation and a demand. He saw the smile on Jungwoo’s face and he knew that it was not a fake one like the usual he had – it was a genuine smile that was full of pride and satisfaction.

Yukhei did his best on the tests, and Jungwoo recognized it. Jungwoo acknowledged his hard work; something that his own parents had never done. Jungwoo only praised him with a single sentence – _you did a really good job_ – and honestly, it had successfully warmed his heart.

It made him happy, but some things were meant to be left unsaid.

“I told you that I’m not dumb,” said Yukhei with a smirk on his face.

“Yes! It’s amazing that you really get all A’s. It’s normal for me but, it’s _you._ ” Jungwoo raised his voice, not because of anger nor embarrassment this time, but because of excitement.

“No need to roast me like that,” Yukhei said. “You had guaranteed me all A’s after all.”

“I know but, it’s _you._ ” Jungwoo mocked.

“Watch me outshine your grades on the next exam, egghead.”

“That,” Jungwoo pouted. “That’s impossible.”

“After you praised me and all?” Yukhei asked as he leaned against the wall behind him and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I–” Jungwoo paused his words as he finally realized that he had been complimenting Yukhei subconsciously. He continued, “I never meant to praise you or anything like that.”

Yukhei let out a soft chuckle, obviously saying _sure_ without explicitly saying the word out loud. A sudden realization struck him as he remembered that Jungwoo had not answered his question from before. He stared right into Jungwoo’s eyes before he spoke up, “You haven’t answered my question yet.”

“Question?” Jungwoo asked obliviously.

“Are you done with running away?”

Jungwoo froze. After a brief moment of excitement, he then realized that he was still trying to get away from Yukhei — ignoring him all the time. He quickly shifted his eyes from Yukhei to the wall behind him; that suddenly become interesting.

“I’m not running away. W-what are you saying?” He stuttered.

“Do you think I’m blind?” Yukhei questioned him back.

“Uh…maybe?”

Yukhei rolled his eyes and sighed. One second Jungwoo was all excited and able to stare right into his eyes, yet in another second he became the usual him – the awkward and annoying egghead.

“Sicheng wanted us to go to the amusement park with him tomorrow,” Yukhei stated, getting straight to the point and, surprisingly, Jungwoo turned to face him again.

“Sicheng, Mark and their other friend?” He questioned.

“Sicheng and Yuta.” Yukhei answered, expecting Jungwoo to agree but the older guy shook his head instead and gave him the opposite answer.

“I don’t want to.”

“Sicheng only.”

“I don’t want to.”

“The two of us.”

“I’d rather die.”

“Okay that’s rude,” Yukhei scoffed as he raised an eyebrow in displeasure.

“It always ends with something bad whenever I go out with you,” said Jungwoo.

Yukhei tilted his head. “Meeting Sicheng was bad?”

“Except that.”

“You told me _that_ night was amazing.” Yukhei smirked.

“I _never_ said anything like that.” Jungwoo narrowed his eyes. Of course it was a lie, _was it not?_

“You said that,” Yukhei answered before he walked closer to Jungwoo and whispered in his ear, “on top of me.”

“I—I told you not to bring it up anymore!” said Jungwoo with a voice higher than before as he took a step back quickly.

Yukhei laughed after seeing the older guy’s reaction and his flushed face. “You started it first, okay?”

“No. Not okay,” Jungwoo answered immediately.

“Tomorrow. 10AM. Sicheng wants _you_ to go as well. No objection,” Yukhei demanded as he took a step back and walked toward his own room.

“I said I don’t want to!” Jungwoo shouted desperately, hoping that Yukhei was only joking – but he knew he was not.

“The deal says you have to,” said Yukhei without turning his back to look at Jungwoo. Instead, he only waved his hands and entered his room, leaving Jungwoo completely speechless.

* * *

The four of them had finally decided to go together and Yukhei drove the car, Jungwoo sat in the front seat next to him, and the couple sat in the back seat. It was their first time going there, even for Jungwoo who had lived in Korea ever since he was born. Truth be told, Jungwoo was excited – but of course he would never say that out loud. He told Yukhei he did not want to go but, actually, it was the opposite since he never had the chance to go there before.

Jungwoo hated crowds – being surrounded by strangers overwhelmed him – but the amusement park was different. He always envied his classmates who bragged about going there with their family; something he would never experience. One time, he asked Doyoung to accompany him, but unfortunately the older guy did not like the place. Another time, he almost went there with Jaehyun, but then they broke up before they had the chance to go.

Not once had he thought that he would go there with Yukhei – he thought that the piñata head only liked going to nightclubs or casinos. Well, at least Jungwoo did not end up alone with him, and the fact that Ten did not go with them was a plus point. He knew he was too salty towards Ten, but sure enough that he was not the one to blame. It was Ten who started it first.

“So, Yukhei, how are your parents in Hong Kong? Will you visit them next holiday?” asked Sicheng, not long after he ended his conversation with Yuta.

Yukhei did not answer right away, clearly he was a little bit perplexed by the sudden personal question. _His parents_. No matter how much Yukhei tried to ignore it, he knew best that Mr. Wong did not want to see him, let alone to meet him personally in Hong Kong. Don’t mention his mom – he did not even know where she was at the moment.

Yukhei cleared his throat before he answered the question, “I don’t think so. They will be busy anyway.”

“That sucks! Don’t you want to meet them?” Yuta asked.

Yukhei shook his head without shifting his focus from the road. He said, “No. I don’t want to disturb them, so I will just stay here in the meantime.”

“Wow, they must be really busy then. What are their jobs?” Yuta asked him again as he leaned toward the front seat and ready to throw another batch of questions at Yukhei.

“Business and stuff,” Yukhei answered, picking his words carefully. He did not want to lie – he hated liars after all – but he had to answer the questions, or else they would figure out there was something wrong with Yukhei and his family.

_Family._

Did he even consider them family? Did Mr. Wong even consider Yukhei as his son? They were just living together – they _used_ to live together, to be precise. They used to be housemates, not even close to be considered _family_. They shared the same flesh and blood, but that was it – playing pretend in front of the public eye. The answer to the question was unclear. Yukhei might, but his parents might not.

“You live in Jungwoo’s house so maybe your parents are public figures too?” Sicheng asked.

“Rather than talking about my family, isn’t Jungwoo’s more interesting?” Yukhei questioned back, trying to shift all the topics to Jungwoo instead. He did not want to talk about it anymore.

Jungwoo tilted his head to face Yukhei who suddenly mentioned his name. He said nothing, but he noticed that Yukhei hid many things under his words. It was not hard for him to realize that Yukhei had been picking his words carefully – from the way he spoke, and the brief silence between the question and answer. Jungwoo knew all along that Yukhei did not want to talk about his family; especially his mother – but he was too afraid to ask, yet too curious to not at least think about the matter.

“No, I want to know about you too!” Sicheng objected.

“How come you ended up living at Jungwoo’s house?” Yuta asked with a smile.

“My dad knows his dad because they went into the same university before,” Yukhei explained.

Right after Yukhei spoke up, the traffic lamp changed to red, and Yukhei did not miss the opportunity to face Jungwoo and clarify, “Right, Jungwoo?”

Jungwoo raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that Yukhei shifted all the attention to him, _again_. Jungwoo was about to protest before Yukhei showed him a smile – clearly threatening him to answer with a ‘ _yes_ ’ _._ Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he finally answered, “Yeah, right.”

“Oh! I just remembered that I saw Jungwoo’s parents on the TV the other day,” said Sicheng, raising the tone of his voice.

“Really? I don’t watch TV that much so I don’t know,” Jungwoo said.

            _I know, but let’s not talk about it._

“Doesn’t it feel nice to have a public figure as your parent?” Yuta asked.

Jungwoo let out a soft sigh before he spoke up, “It’s not like being the son of a public figure is all good. Eyes are everywhere, you know?”

            _It is not good at all. It is frightening, as if you are being controlled all the time._

“What is he like? He looks nice and humble on the TV,” Yuta asked again, clearly showing interest.

“My dad is a strict person but, since I’m the scheduled type of person, it’s all fine for me,” Jungwoo answered as he started to pick his nails subconsciously. He did not want to lie, but he had to. He had no other choice – as always.

_He commands me to do everything he wants me to. But I, myself, am nothing but a pathetic person too. I didn’t lie. It’s all fine for me. It’s all fine._

“Is he also the reason you don’t go out that much?” Sicheng questioned, and Jungwoo could not help but feel anxious about where the conversation was going. Sicheng had almost struck bullseye, and there was no way Jungwoo would not feel worrisome about that.

“No. I didn’t go out that much because I chose to be like that. My dad has nothing to do with it,” Jungwoo explained as he picked his nails faster, to the beat of his racing heart.

_He has something to do with it but you don’t have to know._

“Really? Are you okay? Like, you don’t seem to really _click_ with your dad. I mean–” Sicheng spoke up worriedly before Jungwoo cut his sentence off.

“Our relationship is all good. We’re just busy so we can’t go out together that much,” he explained.

Jungwoo felt bad.

He did not mean to be rude toward Sicheng, but he did not want Sicheng – or anyone – to discover his fucked up relationship with his parents. Jungwoo felt an uncomfortable twist inside his stomach before he continued to speak, “I enjoy it. Don’t worry.”

_Lies. Our relationship is stuck between a parent-son relationship and business relationship. I cannot get myself out of it, I am such a coward._

Yukhei had made a mistake, and he finally recognised it. He knew it in the moment he glanced at Jungwoo picking his nails, he remembered it was one of the sensitive topics that Jungwoo had never wanted to talk about. The reluctant voice, the fake smile, and the nail picking – all indicating Yukhei had made a mistake by averting the topic to Jungwoo.

Yukhei knew Jungwoo had been telling lies from the beginning, even though he had said that he would not fake himself in front of his new friends. Lies. _Stop telling lies_ , he thought.

Yukhei wondered how complicated Jungwoo’s situation really was to the point  where he had to lie to his own friends. He knew he was not the right person to talk since he hid a lot of things too but at least he did not lie. He hated lies. He hated liars. He always did.

“How about you two? Will you go back to Wen Zhou and Osaka?” Yukhei asked, changing the direction of the conversation. A sudden question came to mind; why would _he_ help Jungwoo to get out of the uncomfortable situation? He hated lies. He hated liars. He always did.

But, since when had Jungwoo become an exception for him?

“I will go back to Osaka next week. I’m here only for vacation, don’t tell me you forgot about it,” said Yuta while playing with Sicheng’s hair.

“Oops,” Yukhei chuckled, “sorry.”

“I think I’ll go back to Wen Zhou during new year but I will go to Osaka first,” Sicheng explained.

“He will meet my parents,” Yuta added as another wide smile showed up on his face.

“You will introduce him as your boyfriend?” Jungwoo asked, completely relieved by the change of subject. Talking about Yuta and Sicheng’s love story was much more interesting than talking about his family, let alone the fact that he had to lie whenever the topic came about.

“Yes! I’m sure that they will like Sicheng too!” Yuta answered proudly, followed by a chuckle  that left Sicheng’s lips.

Sicheng confessed, “Honestly, I’m scared that they won’t like me.”

“Don’t worry. You are perfect for me and no one can suit me better than you,” Yuta stated as he pulled Sicheng into a hug.

“Chill, guys. Right in front of my salad?” Yukhei asked as he watched them in the reflection of the mirror.

“First of all, we are not in front of you. Second of all, you are not eating salad.” Sicheng pouted, making Jungwoo laugh mockingly at Yukhei.

“Sicheng, what do you like about Yuta?” Jungwoo questioned.

“W-what? That’s so sudden,” Sicheng protested as his face began to turn rosy color.

Yuta smiled widely. He knew the answer already, but of course he would take the opportunity to tease his flustered boyfriend. He asked confidently, “you like everything about me, don’t you?”

“Shut up,” Sicheng said as he tried to hide his face with his hands before Yuta tilted his face and kissed his rosy cheek.

“It scares me to see that you can be _that_ soft around Sicheng but you were so petty when we met for the first time,” Yukhei leered.

Yuta cocked an eyebrow. “Because you were too close to Sicheng,” he replied.

“What the fuck? I’m not,” protested the younger guy.

“You put your hand on Sicheng’s thigh,” Yuta stated with a deeper voice, making Jungwoo almost choke on air. He suddenly remembered the story of ‘ _The Jealous Boyfriend’_ that the others had told him about before – he was surprised it was true. It was not a bad thing though, they were cute.

“Oh come on, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s normal for me to do something like that,” Yukhei defended himself.

“You can’t do that to Sicheng,” Yuta said with a pout. “Luckily you’re a nice person or else we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Yukhei? Nice? Are you sure Yukhei didn’t brainwash you?” asked Jungwoo mockingly.

“Okay, stop it right there,” said Sicheng, preventing them from starting another round of arguing.

“What? Are you still being salty towards him?” Yuta asked in puzzlement.

“He’s truly the embodiment of the word _salty_ ,” Yukhei mocked.

Yuta tilted his head. “I thought you two became close already,” he said.

“No, never.” Jungwoo shook his head a few times.

“I mean, you two agreed to have a double date with us,” Yuta explained.

Jungwoo blinked his eyes a few times in disbelief before he repeated the words to make sure that he did not misheard them, “d-double date?”

“Sicheng and I. You and Yukhei.” Yuta answered and Jungwoo laughed at the ridiculous proposal.

“No,” he said before the laugh faded away and he continued to speak with a flat tone, “we only hang out together and it’s not a double date.”

“Stop joking around, it’s not a date.” Yukhei added without taking his eyes off the road.

“Right, you said that but you guys actually fu–” said Yuta, almost saying the forbidden word if Sicheng was not there to stop him by stepping on his foot and making him wince in pain.

“Fu?” Jungwoo asked, hoping that it was not the forbidden word.

“Friends. You guys are actually friends.” Sicheng answered, making Jungwoo turn his head to give them a weird look.

“We have arrived!” Sicheng continued, feeling glad that he could end the conversation before it went in the wrong direction.

“Can you two buy the tickets first while I park the car?” Yukhei asked as he unlocked the car door.

“Sure, see you!” Yuta smiled and got out the car together with Sicheng.

“I will go with them,” Jungwoo added, right before Yukhei locked the door quickly and said, “No, you stay here.”

“Why?” Jungwoo asked in puzzlement.

“I told you not to lie to Sicheng,” said Yukhei as he steered the wheel again.

“What are you talking about?”

“About you and your parents. They were all lies, weren’t they?” Yukhei asked, making Jungwoo speechless for a few seconds because of the sudden question.

“I have to. It’s about my dad and his image,” Jungwoo answered.

“What if they know about the truth someday?”

“I don’t know.” Jungwoo shrugged. “I don’t want to know.”

“You are afraid that they will hate you,” Yukhei guessed.

Jungwoo sighed after he heard the words. Yukhei was right, he did not want Yuta or Sicheng to hate him. But, it was still so much better than telling the truth and letting them know about his family situation.

“As long as they don’t know, isn’t it fine? Are you going to tell them that I lied?”

“No. I’m not you, I don’t like butting in on other people’s business or friendship.”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he parted his lips to answer, “But you noticed that I lied and right now we are having _this_ conversation.”

“It’s just too annoying to see. You know I hate liars the most,” Yukhei said, slightly defending himself.

“I thought I was able to fool you too,” Jungwoo mumbled.

The engine stopped after the car was parked, and Yukhei turned to face Jungwoo. “Listen, Kim Jungwoo,” said Yukhei, making Jungwoo face him back.

He continued, “You can lie to them but you can't lie to me. You can't fool me."

“Why are you being serious all of sudden?” Jungwoo frowned.

"When everyone sees you as perfection, I can see your imperfections. Did you really think that I wouldn’t be able to see through your lies?" Yukhei questioned him back.

Deep down his heart, he questioned himself too. Why would he feel irritated by the fact that Jungwoo lied to his friends? It was not his problem; he should not poke his nose into it – he was not Jungwoo who liked to do stuff like that.

Another question came into his mind, but once he figured out what it was, he denied it. There was no way he would feel irritated because he did not hate Jungwoo for lying. There was no way he would admit that Jungwoo had become an exception for him. There was no way…right?

“W-what’s with that?” Jungwoo stuttered.

How could Yukhei see through his lies all the time? It always happened since the first time they met, but Jungwoo had never once had the answer to it. Jungwoo knew that Yukhei hid a lot of things under his words whenever he talked about his dad, but he could never figure out the truth – he hid them well perfectly.

Yukhei was not lying when he talked about his father’s job and how busy he was, but sure there were a lot of things that Yukhei would never let unfold. But it was different for Yukhei, who could see through Jungwoo’s lies as if he knew the truth that was hidden under – the bitterness, the confining cage, and the unreachable dreams.

"You can be a good liar to everyone, even to yourself. But you can't do that to me. You are a bad liar to me, Jungwoo,” Yukhei stated as he broke the eye contact first, unlocking the door and telling Jungwoo to get out the car.

“You are weird,” Jungwoo huffed, leaving Yukhei alone inside the car.

“You are annoying,” Yukhei mumbled. Perhaps he meant it for himself too.

* * *

The four of them met up again before deciding on which attraction they should ride first. Both Yuta and Sicheng could not help noticing that there was a tense air lingering around Yukhei and Jungwoo, but they decided to brush it off as if nothing happened. They came to the amusement park to have fun – as a double date, to be precise – but with the current situation, it was an accomplishment that Jungwoo and Yukhei were not killing each other.

“Let’s ride bumper cars first,” Sicheng said, offsetting the uncomfortable air around them.

“Sure. Sounds fun,” Yukhei replied shortly.

Yuta grabbed Sicheng’s hand immediately and walked in front of the other two, hoping to escape the tense situation – he did not even want to know why they were suddenly acting like that. He had always thought Yukhei and Jungwoo had made up already, and that was why he agreed to Sicheng’s double date idea. Sicheng _accidentally_ told him that Jungwoo and Yukhei had spent the night together, so of course it was no wonder why Yuta thought the two of them had turned from enemies to lovers. Wasn’t it like the most cliché romantic story line? Unfortunately, real life was not that easy.

Jungwoo’s eyes glistened with excitement. Everything was new to him and he felt like a five-year-old boy again. The smell of the popcorn, the sound of screams and laughter, and the sight of the fun rides in front of him blended into one, creating a perfect view tempting Jungwoo to try them all. Sad to say, due to the previous conversation he had with Yukhei, the urge to run away returned to his mind again. He had to bear it, because he knew forgetting it would be an impossible task to do. He had no other choice like always.

It was not long before they reached the location of the bumper cars, and luckily, they did not have to wait long to start the ride. Jungwoo was nervous since he had never tried it before – was it the same as driving a car? It supposed to be for children so there was no way it would be _that_ complicated. Jungwoo tilted his head, his eyes scanning the whole arena to find Sicheng to ask him for help but he decided not to once he spotted Sicheng clinging to Yuta inside their car.

“Good luck, egghead!” Yukhei shouted from his car, clearly mocking Jungwoo in front of everyone. He knew that Jungwoo did not understand how the ride worked, and of course Wong Yukhei would not miss the chance to mock Kim Jungwoo.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes instead of saying anything. Of all the words that existed in the world, Yukhei chose the words to mock him. Well, he wished him _good luck_ , but since when has he ever had good luck with Yukhei? Not once.

It didn’t take long for all the cars to be filled with visitors and the fun began to start. _Fun._ Sure, it would be fun only if Jungwoo could figure out how the whole thing worked. Everyone had started to move and bumped each other’s cars yet there he was, still stuck in the same position since the beginning. No, he did not want to look at Yukhei – he knew the younger guy was laughing at him and that was the last thing he wished to happen.

“What’s wrong egghead? Are you perhaps calculating the momentum needed to remain in your current position?” Yukhei questioned as he moved his car closer to Jungwoo’s.

“Oh,” Jungwoo groaned. “Yeah, I wonder how the electrical energy from the grid could be converted to kinetic energy.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Yukhei questioned, annoyed.

“Of course not, you dumb piñata head.” Jungwoo rolled his eyes again.

“Call me dumb once you’re able to move your car,” Yukhei mocked before he bumped his car into Jungwoo’s, making the older guy flinch.

“What–” Jungwoo frowned, ready to complain before Yukhei cut his sentence off.

“Step on the pedal and steer the wheel. It doesn’t steer the same way like normal cars do. Get used to it, aren’t you smart?” asked Yukhei as the corner of his lips curved into a smirk.

Jungwoo said nothing, but he did listen to Yukhei’s instructions. He was annoyed with the fact that Yukhei always embarrassed him in every situation, but he did realize that Yukhei had always been the one to break the ice between them. He stepped on the pedal and steered the wheel, finally able to move the car after struggling with the mechanism. His eyes lightened up with amusement once he turned the steering wheel and did a full 360-degree turn.

A wide smile showed up on Jungwoo’s face and it was the first time for Yukhei to see that smile. It was different from the one Jungwoo showed him the day before, but he was sure that both were genuine and real. It was the total opposite of the one Kim Jungwoo usually showed. No business purposed smile, no lies, no fakeness. The smile widened each time Jungwoo learned how the machine worked, and it turned to a laugh once he successfully bumped into Yukhei’s car.

In contrast with Jungwoo who was amazed with the ride, Yukhei was amazed with the side Jungwoo showed him for the first time. The person in front of him was not the usual fake and rigid Kim Jungwoo he knew. He was almost like a different person, only if he wasn’t annoying enough to repeatedly bump his car into Yukhei’s.

Annoyed, Yukhei started to focus on the ride and took his revenge by crashing his car back into the latter’s. Jungwoo knitted his eyebrows, unamused with the sudden revenge plan. He turned the steering wheel and moved to the center, but Yukhei was right behind him, waiting to bump into his car again. Jungwoo was sure Yukhei purposely did it to make fun of him – like the way it had always been – but not this time as he turned the steering wheel again to move backward, crashing into Yukhei first. Jungwoo laughed again once he saw the younger guy flinch, was not expecting the crash at all.

“Serves you right, Yukhei,” Jungwoo said proudly.

“Don’t be happy too soon,” Yukhei leered. “ _princess_.”

“Wait, what– I-I’m not a pri–” Jungwoo stuttered, right before Yukhei crashed their cars again, grinning slyly.

“To distract you, of course,” he said as he turned the steering wheel and got away quickly before Jungwoo had the chance to take revenge.

In fact, Jungwoo did not even think of taking revenge. He froze in his tracks, and his brain was trying to process the what just happened. Not once had he thought Yukhei would say something like that to him – not even in the slightest. Yukhei had always been like that; unpredictable and did everything as he wished. Normally, the usual Kim Jungwoo would get embarrassed and want to run away, but instead, a loud laugh left his lips again. Yukhei, _that_ Yukhei, called him a _princess_ only to distract him like that? What was he, a five-year-old boy?

Jungwoo could not stop his laugh. He could use it to make fun of Yukhei whenever Yukhei annoyed him. It had been a while since he laughed for that long. He did not even remember the last time he had that much fun.

_Fun._

The laugh stopped once a realization came to mind – he laughed because of Yukhei and he had fun with him; the person that was supposed to be his enemy, the person that brought chaos to his life, the person that he was supposed to hate. Did something change? Even if it did, Jungwoo was not ready for it yet. He did not even want to think of it. He was afraid of the possible change.

Jungwoo shook his head, trying to brush away the thoughts. It was the first time for him to be in an amusement park and he would not let his own thoughts ruin his fun. _Just focus on the rides, and imagine Yukhei as another person_ – _maybe Doyoung hyung_ , he reminded himself. He knew it would be impossible, but at least he tried.


	23. Genesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo was not ready for the change, and neither was Yukhei.

Jungwoo was right.

It was impossible to ignore the _fact_ that he had fun with Yukhei – thanks to the lovebirds who made them sit side by side on every ride, almost in an attempt to make Jungwoo and Yukhei get along with each other.

Yukhei was Yukhei. Jungwoo could not imagine him as any other person, especially Doyoung who was the total opposite of him. Yukhei acted like his usual self – savage, annoying, and full of surprises – Jungwoo could never guess his thoughts or actions, but one thing that surprised him the most was the fact that Yukhei was not as annoying as usual. Jungwoo had to admit that.

It might have been because of the lightened-up mood, loosening the straining tension between the two of them. Yukhei admitted the same in the back of his mind – Jungwoo was not as annoying as he had been previously. Nevertheless, he saw a new side of Jungwoo, which he never had expected before.

The Kim Jungwoo in front of him was like a little boy who had been granted freedom for the first time. He laughed out loud, smiled widely, and his eyes were glistened with excitement. He ran here and there, sometimes subconsciously grabbed Yukhei’s arm to say _let’s try this ride_ with a wide smile showing up on his face.

Yukhei remembered how Jungwoo rejected him the night before, saying that it always ended up with something bad whenever they were out together. But there he was, acting like a five-year-old boy, escaping the world built by schedule and tasks. Truth be told, _this_ side of Jungwoo was much better than the usual – Yukhei admitted, but not once had he thought to say it out loud.

“We haven’t tried the roller coaster yet,” Jungwoo said, making the couple in front of him turn to face him.

“Oh, I thought you wouldn’t like it,” said Sicheng.

“I have never tried it before but it seems fun,” Jungwoo smiled.

“How about we skip it? It doesn’t seem fun to me,” Yukhei confessed, making the smile on Jungwoo’s face start to fade.

“What,” Jungwoo furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you afraid?”

“No,” Yukhei answered. “Like I said, it doesn’t seem fun to me.”

Jungwoo grinned. “I see, so Wong Yukhei gets afraid too,” he guessed.

“Seriously?” Yuta questioned, almost cracking a laugh.

“Are you guys deaf or something? I–” Yukhei tried to protest, but Sicheng cut his sentence off before he even had the chance to do so.

“Then let’s just try, I guess? If Yukhei isn’t afraid of it, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“Yes!” Jungwoo nodded, as he saw a glint of horror in Yukhei’s eyes. He continued, “I am _sure_ we will have fun.”

The moment they reached the attraction, Yukhei’s face turned multiple shades paler. He could feel a nervous twist inside his stomach as soon as he got into the cart. Jungwoo was seated next to him, humming randomly as if he was the happiest person in the world; which might have been true since he could see Yukhei suffering next to him.

It was not long before he heard the creaking of the cart moving, indicating the ride would start any second. He repeatedly cursed in the back of his mind as the cart moved upward, almost reaching the top.

“Aw, a _baby_ is scared,” Jungwoo teased, clearly having the best time of his life watching Yukhei in such embarrassing situation.

“Shut up, Ju–” Yukhei groaned, before it turned to a loud scream as the cart reached the top and went down in a blink, taking him on a journey of loops.

Yukhei closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the safety bar as the cart raced faster and faster. He screamed louder, and so were the other passengers. Except for Jungwoo, whose laughter could be heard in the midst of scream and terror of others. _What the fuck,_ Yukhei cursed. He really was either a five-year-old boy or a monster – on a second thought, he probably was a combination of the two. And that was the second time for Yukhei to found Kim Jungwoo scary.

Finally, the cart stopped and Yukhei could breathe normally again. The ride hadn’t even lasted three minutes but it felt like forever. Yukhei strolled to the nearest bench and sat, calming his nerves and the twist in his stomach. _Never again_ , he thought.

“Yukhei, you should just tell us that you’re afraid of rollercoasters,” said Sicheng once he realized that his friend was not feeling good.

“Yeah, look at you,” said Yuta worriedly. “You look like a mess.”

“Do you want me to get you a drink or something?” Sicheng asked.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks, Sicheng.”

“Here,” said Jungwoo as he offered a water bottle to Yukhei. “Drink this, you screamed too much.”

Yukhei took the bottle and drank half of the water in it before he spoke up, “And you laughed too much. What are you? A monster?”

“That was fun,” Jungwoo pouted. “you are just a scaredy-cat.”

Yukhei rolled his eyes in annoyance, he took back his own thoughts from before. Jungwoo was _just_ as annoying as he had always been – not any less, but maybe even more.

“Don’t be happy too soon, egghead.” Yukhei warned him as he let a sly grin creep across his lips. He looked up to Sicheng and asked, “Can we go to the haunted house?”

“Huh? No,” said Jungwoo immediately – even though he was not the one who got asked.

“Haunted house,” Sicheng frowned, giving Jungwoo a glint of hope that they would not enter the attraction. He remembered the time they went to the shopping mall together and Sicheng told him he hated scary stuff, so of course they would not go there— “Sure! Let’s go!” Sicheng said excitedly.

_What._

“No, no, no, no, no. Aren’t you against it?” Jungwoo asked as he shook his head several times.

“Yeah, but Yuta’s here so he will protect me,” Sicheng answered, clinging onto Yuta’s arm.

‘ _People really lose their brain cells when they are in love_ ,’ Jungwoo thought, but he realized that it happened to him once – and he had no right to say that when he himself had done the same thing.

“Then all of you can go first and I will wait outside,” Jungwoo stated.

“Jungwoo, you are no fun.” Sicheng pouted.

“Yukhei can enter the house by himself, I will wait outside.”

“Aw, a _baby_ is scared,” Yukhei mocked, quoting Jungwoo’s words during their roller coaster ride.

“Come on, Jungwoo. It will be fun, trust me!” Yuta insisted.

Jungwoo was being stubborn. He kept shaking his head and refused, but it was only until Yukhei pulled Jungwoo closer to him and stated, “End of the discussion. He will go with me. He has to.”

Yuta clapped his hand. “Dom culture,” he said.

“What,” said Yukhei and Jungwoo at once, glaring at Yuta who just cracked a wide smile and spoke up, “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

“I tried the rollercoaster even though I was against it. How about playing fair, _princess?_ ” Yukhei questioned, slightly lowering his voice so neither Yuta nor Sicheng would hear the sudden discussion he had with Jungwoo.

“First of all, stop calling me princess. Second of all, you didn’t say you’re afraid of it,” Jungwoo whispered back, knitting his eyebrows together.

“You knew I was and you pressured me into going with you.”

“Stop being salty. It’s annoying,” Jungwoo scoffed.

“Says someone who’s the real embodiment of saltiness.” Yukhei rolled his eyes before continuing his sentence, “Come on, don’t be such a coward. I’m _sure_ we will have fun.”

“Stop quoting me,” said the older guy, complaining.

“You say _stop_ too much for someone who kept telling me not to stop in bed,” provoked the tall guy, followed by a sigh that left Jungwoo’s lips.

“Can you not bring it up again?”

“I’ll stop _if_ you go into the haunted house with me,” he demanded.

“Okay, I’m in,” Jungwoo groaned in frustration, raising his voice loud enough to be heard by the two lovebirds who gave him a round of applause.

“It will be fine,” said Yukhei. “it won’t be _that_ scary.”

Jungwoo frowned, feeling weird after hearing the words that just left Yukhei’s mouth. Did he say that to make Jungwoo feel calmer? He was not expecting anything – especially since it was _Yukhei_ who said that – and he knew he was right after Yukhei continued to speak up, “you are scarier than the ghosts after all.”

Yukhei laughed out loud and stood up, leaving the other guy speechless. A sudden realization came into Jungwoo’s mind; Yukhei had probably planned the whole conversation, to the point where Jungwoo would agree with him. Yukhei always knew how to pull the trump card resulting in Jungwoo’s loss in almost every deal they made.

Jungwoo himself realized how Yukhei always pulled him into his game, yet he could never escape from it. But even if he could get away from Yukhei and his game, would he? He did not know either. He wondered what was it that made him fall for every game Yukhei set up – breaking the perfect schedule, enjoying life like there was no tomorrow, and having a taste of the thing he craved the most; _freedom._

 

The moment they stood in the line to get into the haunted house, Jungwoo let out a deep sigh. Even by just seeing the outer view of the house sent shiver down his spine – he did not even want to imagine how scary it would be. The tables had turned again for sure as he saw Yukhei stood next to him with excitement written all over his face. Yukhei caught his glare and replied with his usual annoying grin, the one that Jungwoo hated the most.

It was not long before they got into the haunted house. Yuta and Sicheng had gotten into the house first and Jungwoo could hear Sicheng’s non-stop screams, giving him a bad feeling that it would be scarier from the middle until the end of the attraction.

Jungwoo cautiously walked along the path, exploring the dark room where he could see nothing but street lamps and the creepy decorations. The room felt eerie and Jungwoo could feel the chill whenever a soft breeze blew in their direction. Yukhei walked by his side, looking unbothered despite the creepy sounds around them – whether it was a creaking sound of a rocking chair, screams, or even a soft chuckle from their back.

Jungwoo wanted to cry as he slowly got closer to Yukhei, afraid that the young guy would be mean enough to leave him alone. Fortunately, nothing happened even after they had taken several steps inside, and Jungwoo felt slightly relieved – maybe it would not be as scary as he thought, maybe Yukhei did not lie when he said it would not be _that_ scary.

At least, it was what he thought until the floorboards got creakier and the decorations became scarier – broken vintage furniture, torn wall paint, and splattered blood over the wall. Both the screams and chuckles became more audible before they turned into mourn and cries, successfully sending shiver down Jungwoo’s spine.

They found a cracked mirror near them and Jungwoo made the mistake of looking at it – the reflection consisted of three people, and not two. Not just Kim Jungwoo and Wong Yukhei, but also a long black-haired woman behind them, with her white dress that was tainted by blood.

Jungwoo widened his eyes, almost having a heart attack. He screamed and subconsciously clung onto Yukhei, close enough to crying out loud. Yukhei turned to face the woman and cursed lowly, _damn_ it was scarier than what he had expected and imagined before. He began to walk faster while Jungwoo held his arm tight and buried his face on his shoulder, sometimes letting a soft whine that sounded like a cry.

Yukhei suddenly felt bad for forcing Jungwoo to go into the haunted house but, honestly, it was quite fun to see Jungwoo like that – whining like a little child, saying ‘ _please don’t leave me_ alone’ over and over again.

Jungwoo had not even gotten the chance to take a breath yet, the house kept getting scarier as they took their steps toward the exit. Several people dressed up as ghosts jumped out from the sidewalk, making Jungwoo scream his lungs out and shake in fear. It was not long until they reached the middle of the house and a young woman sat in the far corner of the room. Jungwoo tightened his grip on Yukhei and did not even dare to look at her.

The young woman was holding a bundle that was supposedly a baby, and she began to shower the baby with praise and compliments. Yukhei slowed down his pace, wondering what would happen soon – it was entertaining, both the young woman and Jungwoo.

“Can…can we just r-run?” Jungwoo mumbled, tilting his face toward Yukhei.

The tall guy shifted his gaze from the young woman to Jungwoo, whose face was just a few centimeters away from his. Yukhei could take a clear view of the tears in the corner of Jungwoo’s eyes, and the cheeks that had turned scarlet. He could feel Jungwoo’s breaths close to his face as the grip on his arm tightened.

“You look like a five-year-old,” said Yukhei in a mocking way.

“W-whatever. Let’s…Let’s just run, okay?” Jungwoo stuttered.

“How about no? This is interesting,” Yukhei objected as he leaned closer to Jungwoo, shortening the gap between their faces.

Jungwoo flinched at the sudden intimacy. He either wanted to step back or shove Yukhei away, but he was too frightened to do so. He knew Yukhei would not listen to him, he knew what Yukhei meant as _interesting;_ the way Jungwoo suffered next to him. Clinging onto Yukhei was embarrassing, but it was still so much better than walking alone in the darkness. Jungwoo was afraid that Yukhei might leave him alone if he did not cling onto him, so he had no other choice than to do so.

Everything was frightening and sure enough Jungwoo would not be able to sleep well during the night – with the image of the ghosts stored freshly within his memory, and he had to think about something else to lessen the horror inside his head. Furthermore, the only thing that he could think of were the memories he had with Yukhei, and with the sudden intimacy they had, it was like adding fuel to the fire – it reminded him of the facts he tried to deny all along.

Was it true that Yukhei could see his imperfection when everyone else saw him as perfection? Was Yukhei’s life not perfect as well? He was blessed with the perfect visuals, money, fame, and intelligence. On top of that, he had something that Jungwoo could not have; _freedom_. But how could he see through Jungwoo and every lie of his, as if he could understand them all?

When he thought everything was crumbling down, that he would never be perfect enough to satisfy his parents’ expectation, and when everyone left him because they thought Jungwoo was out of their grasps, Yukhei was different. He did not leave Jungwoo alone, like the others did. He pulled Jungwoo into his life, escaping the monochromatic world whose maker was no one other than his dad.

The moment Yukhei took him to the shopping mall where he met his friends, the moment they went to the club and spent the night together, and the moment Yukhei took him to the amusement park even though Jungwoo had been avoiding him for days – he would have never experienced it all if it wasn’t for Yukhei being there with him. He said they always ended up with something bad whenever they were together, but _who_ said that? His brain? His ego? His pride? Or his heart?

Should he thank Yukhei for that? He was not sure – he had pride and he would not let it get crushed so easily. Jungwoo was sure enough that once he let out the word ‘ _thank you’_ , Yukhei would laugh at him because what he had always said was true: his messy, chaotic life was much better than the perfect world Jungwoo lived in.

Jungwoo’s eyes were set on Yukhei’s – something that was barely happened. He suddenly got lost in the latter’s eyes, forgetting they were still at the haunted attraction. The air shifted, it was not creepy anymore yet both Jungwoo and Yukhei could feel the tension that rose between them.

“H-hey, Yu–” Jungwoo said softly before they got pulled back into reality.

A sudden scream came from the direction of the forgotten woman that was sitting at the corner of the room. She stood up and raged out, screaming ‘ _You are the one who kills my baby!_ ’ at them and ran toward them. Jungwoo cursed loudly, muttering the _f_ word repeatedly before he apologized.

“I-I am sorry. P-please don’t c-curse me,” Jungwoo stuttered as his hand naturally clung onto Yukhei’s arm again.

Yukhei could not help but to laugh at the scaredy-cat. It was just too entertaining, seeing Jungwoo cursed that much and apologizing to the _ghost,_ begging for forgiveness so he would not get cursed. That might be the most entertaining thing he had ever seen in his life, and he swore it was the best laugh he had after a long, long time. Pretty sure even the ghost was confused with the tall guy’s reaction.

“ _Die, you two! I will kill you!_ ” screamed the female ghost, finally standing not so far from the two young guys.

Jungwoo buried his face on Yukhei’s shoulder and closed his eyes tight, trying to hide from the horror. Yukhei saw him and noticed that Jungwoo’s body started to tremble. _Did he cry?_

“Oh shit,” Yukhei cursed before he grabbed Jungwoo’s hand and ran towards the way out. He shouted, “run, egghead!”

Jungwoo followed him from behind, running hand in hand with his supposed enemy. Tears fell down his cheeks and his lips were sealed tight so no words were spoken anymore. He was surrounded by darkness and his vision turned blurry because of the tears, but at the same time, he felt safe because Yukhei held his hand. They ran, and ran, towards the way out, but Jungwoo did not feel so scared anymore.

His hand felt warm.

 

“Hey, you can stop crying already. It’s safe here,” Yukhei said once they made their way out of the haunted house.

“Oh,” Jungwoo replied shortly as he let go of Yukhei’s hands and wiped his tears. _Embarrassing_ , he thought.

“I didn’t expect you to be _that_ scared.” Yukhei scratched his head, considering doing something his pride would not allow him to. Jungwoo said nothing, simply looking down to avoid Yukhei’s stare.

“…I’m sorry,” Yukhei apologized. His voice was deep and not so audible, to the point Jungwoo had to look up at him and ask him to repeat the words. He knew, _he listened_ , but he wanted to make sure he was not mishearing.

“Nevermind,” said Yukhei, objecting to saying the word twice. “Where’s the couple?” He continued, obviously changing the subject.

“O-oh, right.” Jungwoo looked down again. It suddenly became awkward and Jungwoo did not know what to say anymore, so he took his phone out his pocket, wanting to text Sicheng but instead of sending a message, he received two from Sicheng already.

Sicheng: _“I want to have a walk with Yuta alone. Maybe you will be able to see Yukhei’s kindness because you seem happy today! Good luck!”_

Sicheng: _“P.s: have a good talk and don’t leave, or else I will revoke our friendship card.”_

A soft sigh left Jungwoo’s lips before he spoke up again, “He wants to have a walk with Yuta.”

“So it will be the two of us alone?”

“Oh,” Jungwoo answered awkwardly. “Yes.”

 “Do you want to go home?” asked Yukhei straight to the point.

_Yes. He wanted to… right?_

“No. Let’s take a walk first,” Jungwoo said. “It will be such a waste to go home this early.”

Yukhei only answered with a hum. He felt the awkwardness too – there was no way he would not feel the thick air of it around them. It surprised him to know Jungwoo did not want to go home yet, he did not expect it at all. He looked at Jungwoo who was trying his best to avoid any eye contact with him. He knew it was a mistake to apologize, but truth to be told, he had no regret doing so.

Neither Jungwoo nor Yukhei liked the current situation they were trapped in – it was suffocating. The silence between them made the air feel heavier, and neither of them tried to initiate conversation. It was the first time for them to be in a situation like that and they did not know what do nor what to say.

They had always fought each other, fueling the hatred inside their hearts and sometimes ending up in several cold wars. But it was different this time. They could not explain their feelings, they tried to deny them all along, not wanting to face the fact that something might have changed already.

Jungwoo was not ready for the change, and neither was Yukhei.

“Let’s go,” said Yukhei, breaking the silence first.

Jungwoo nodded and walked next to him, leaving a gap between them – an uncomfortable gap, to be precise. It felt unreal, the moment they realized they were so close to each other inside the haunted house, yet within minutes they could no longer look each other in the eye.

Jungwoo looked around – staring at anything but Yukhei – until his eyes finally caught a large building located not so far from them. A giant fish board was put on its front, above the word _aquarium_. Jungwoo suddenly halted his footsteps, as some old memories came into his mind and he felt like he was going back to the past again. Yukhei stopped his steps as well once he noticed Jungwoo did. He turned to face Jungwoo, and then shifted his gaze at the aquarium building.

“Do you want to go inside?” he questioned.

Jungwoo did not reply immediately, he let both his mind and heart decide first. “…yes,” he answered after a while.

“Come on,” Yukhei said before he began to walk again, guiding the way toward the aquarium. Jungwoo followed him from behind, the exact position they had been in at the haunted house before, but no hands attached between them anymore.

It was not long until they reached the aquarium. Fortunately, there were not so many people inside so they could stroll around the aquarium without the fear of getting crushed by strangers. It was dark inside, but Jungwoo was not scared at all. The giant fish tanks were filled with clear water and numerous species of fish – they were beautiful and Jungwoo loved it.

Jungwoo was lost in his own thoughts and memories, to the point he had not realized Yukhei had stopped walking in front of him – he was walking right next to him, without saying anything. Yukhei himself was not sure either why he slowed down his pace to walk next to Jungwoo, but he knew something was not right. Jungwoo said nothing and he kept his face straight, showing no emotion.

But Yukhei was not a fool and he could not be fooled by the look on Jungwoo’s face. He noticed the way Jungwoo’s eyes portrayed something otherwise: _sadness_. He noticed, yet he did not have the guts to talk. After all, he was _nothing_ to Jungwoo and vice versa. Jungwoo was supposed to be no one important to him, he should not care about him. He never used to care about Jungwoo, but since when did it change?

The way he made the deal, the way he took Jungwoo out with him, the way he escaped the reality alongside Jungwoo, the way he realized they could understand each other, the way he thought how beautiful Jungwoo was, the way he felt irritated whenever Jungwoo lied, the way he let Jungwoo cling to him, the way he held Jungwoo’s hand, and the way he noticed the sadness within Jungwoo’s eyes.

It was all about Jungwoo; not the perfect Kim Jungwoo who everyone adored, but the imperfect Jungwoo who lived within a cage, the scaredy-cat Jungwoo who cried only because of a haunted house, the annoying Jungwoo who nagged all the time, and the child-like Jungwoo whose smile was beautiful because of the small freedom he was given. _Why?_

He should not think about it. He had to stop. He was afraid.

“Have you ever been to public aquarium before?” asked Jungwoo suddenly, pulling Yukhei back to reality.

Yukhei blinked. “No,” he said. “it’s boring.”

“As expected of you to say something like that.”

“You said that as if you have been here before,” Yukhei complained as he raised an eyebrow.

“Do you think that this is the only public aquarium in Seoul?” Jungwoo sighed. “I have been to one before. But it was a long time ago.”

“I went there with my mom. She took me because I had no friends at school,” he continued, confessing the old memory he had never told before.

“That hasn’t changed at all,” said Yukhei sarcastically.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. “Shut up and I have a friend right now.”

“Thanks to me.”

“No, I meant Doyoung _hyung_ ,” Jungwoo frowned. Yukhei only shrugged, not saying anything.

“Being here right now reminds me of that time,” he continued.

It felt strange – especially for Jungwoo since he talked about neither his past nor his family to anyone else. He could seal his mouth off so there would be no words to leave his tongue but, he felt like even though he had sealed them all, Yukhei would still be able to see through him perfectly. Jungwoo remembered what the younger guy said to him before – Yukhei saw his imperfection, when everyone else saw him as perfection.

_His heart ached._

Why?

Why did it have to be _him_?

Why did it have to be _Yukhei_?

“You have a good mom,” said Yukhei, breaking the silence between them.

“She changed though. It was the last time we went out to a place like this. It was also the last time she held my hand. I don’t know what has happened to her but, she has become someone different.” Jungwoo explained with a smile on his face – and Yukhei could recognize it as a fake one right away.

Jungwoo’s heart ached when his memories brought him back to the good old days. The figure of a good, heartwarming mother had become nothing but a mere illusion to him. He was not even sure anymore if the day she took him outside to play with her was real, or if it was simply a dream.

Jungwoo turned his head and faced the giant fish tank again, obviously avoiding Yukhei’s stare. They were surrounded by strangers and noises, but it felt like time had stopped for the two of them. There was only silence between them and nothing more, as if the world around them had drifted away and left them alone.

It was dark – blue color radiating everywhere since the only light source came from inside the fish tank. Jungwoo could not take his eyes off the aquarium and Yukhei could not take his eyes off Jungwoo, as if he could see the tears that Jungwoo held, the heart that was torn inside his chest, and the bitterness that was hidden perfectly under his smile. Yukhei’s chest tightened, like someone was squeezing it so hard it was going to explode. It ached, but he could not figure out the reason behind it.

Jungwoo was supposed to be the person he hated – he could state it over and over again but, his mind could not stop itself from wondering about a lot of things – particularly about him and Jungwoo. Something had changed and Yukhei was smart enough to realize it. He used to only think about _himself_. It used to be all about his own pride and ego, the way he tried to embarrass Jungwoo and make him suffer.

Then, it suddenly changed into _themselves_ ; Yukhei and Jungwoo. The way he decided to make the stupid deal, the way he sacrificed his weekend to take Jungwoo out with him, and the way he threw his pride away just to touch Jungwoo. He thought it was only empathy, but why would he do something like that just because of mere empathy? The same thought came into his mind all over again – the possibility that he no longer hated Jungwoo.

Yukhei was not sure of it anymore.

His mind wandered as the unsolvable labyrinth inside his head showed up again. It kept leading him back to square one, where all the problems started – himself, his life, and Jungwoo. Several _what if_ questions came into his mind – what if they were put in different circumstances, would they meet each other? If there were no family problems; no money; and no fame, would they hate each other? If he was not a _faux pas_ , an embarrassment to his own family, would something change to be better? He questioned himself. Did he really hate Jungwoo or did he just hate his messed up life, making Jungwoo a victim to his blame? Yukhei could answer none of them as he got lost in his own labyrinth. He tried to find the way out, but then he found nothing.

His mind was filled with questions and his eyes were still set on Jungwoo, who stood beside him with a bitter expression, as if he was reminiscing some old memories. Jungwoo tried to hide it with a smile, but Yukhei knew how fake it was compared to the one he saw before. Jungwoo still looked beautiful though. He always did, and Yukhei had admitted it ever since the first time they met.

Jungwoo was lost in his own thoughts, he could not help but to notice that Yukhei was staring at him the whole time. He saw Yukhei’s reflection from the aquarium glass – standing tall beside him, watching him with eyes that glinted softly. _Why?_

The usual Kim Jungwoo would immediately shove Yukhei away and nag, but at that time, he could not do that. His heart ached, but not only from the painful memories that he recalled inside his mind – it was something more than that. It ached, yet it felt warm at the same time. The way Yukhei stared at him softly made him emotional. Yukhei had never done that before, and Jungwoo could not think of a reason why would he would do that.

Jungwoo set his eyes on the reflection of Yukhei; he was not brave enough to stare at Yukhei in person. He was afraid once he did that, tears would begin to drop down his cheek and turn him into a crying mess. Something was different and it felt like they were drowning in feelings and emotions. He was not sure, but in the back of his mind, he realized that there was no deep hatred anymore among all those feeling and emotions. Something had changed, and Jungwoo was not ready for it _yet_.

Jungwoo finally parted his lips to break the silence and called the latter’s name softly, “Yukhei.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you,” he said, still not facing Yukhei. “I may hate you but thank you for taking me here.”

Yukhei did not answer – he could not. The mood was set and it suffocated him – he could not breathe properly. The moment Jungwoo thanked him, his mind went blank – all white and empty – no labyrinth nor questions. He let a brief silence lingered around them for a while, before he finally parted his lips to call the older guy’s name with a deep, husky voice, “Jungwoo.”

He did not know what had gotten into him, and he did not want to care anymore. Fuck his pride, fuck his feelings, fuck his family, and fuck his twisted life. Jungwoo turned his head to face Yukhei and without giving him any chance to talk, Yukhei leaned closer to Jungwoo and closed the gap between them – from a few inches to zero – at the moment his lips met Jungwoo’s in a soft, gentle kiss.

Jungwoo was not ready for the change, and neither was Yukhei.

But he realized not everything had to be denied and left unsettled forever.

 


	24. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If a promise made is from the heart, and it is something you believe you can do then there is hardly a chance that you can break it. Promises are never meant to be broken, though a lot of times they are broken."

Jungwoo was eight and he loved the weekend.

They were the only days for him to spend quality time with his mom. Jungwoo’s dad had been a strict person since the beginning, but his mom was different. No matter how busy she was, Mrs. Kim had always made time for her one and only son. Jungwoo had always been the same person he was now – clever, diligent, and quiet.

He almost had no friends at school and it concerned Mrs. Kim, which turned out to be the reason why she always took Jungwoo out with her every weekend. Jungwoo was lonely and Mrs. Kim did not want him to be. She taught Jungwoo how to make friends, and it made her happy when Jungwoo told her that he had made a friend for the first time. She was proud of him as she had always been.

Jungwoo’s eyes sparkled when he told his mom that his first friend went to the giant aquarium with his family. He said, ‘ _they were happy’_. Of course little Jungwoo wanted to experience the same thing; he wanted to go with his parents but he knew it was impossible to ask his dad, so there he was, hoping his mom would agree to take him. She agreed, and Jungwoo jumped in excitement before he hugged his mom tightly. _Mom was the best after all_.

 

Blue color radiated from the softly lit tanks.

The eight-year-old boy Kim Jungwoo was extremely happy. It was his first time to go to the aquarium with his mom. They were surrounded by many strangers but Jungwoo did not really care about it – he was happy he could be there with his mom; he could not ask for more.

His eyes lit up as he walked hand in hand with his mom, down the long alley between the giant fish tanks. It was the first time for him to experience something like that and, with no doubt, he loved it. The fish were beautiful, the lights were beautiful, and his mom was beautiful – everything was beautiful and Jungwoo wanted to treasure the moment forever.

“Mommy, I hope we can come here again one day,” said the little boy.

“I hope the same, sweetheart. Let’s visit here again one day,” She smiled, “with daddy too.”

Jungwoo nodded as a smile lit up his face. He asked, “and can I bring my friend here too?”

“Of course, Jungwoo. You can bring your friends as much as you want,” she answered.

“Mommy, may I ask something?” Jungwoo asked.

Mrs. Kim nodded. “Sure, Jungwoo. What is it?”

“Does daddy hate me?”

Jungwoo stared at his mom, waiting for an answer. The smile began to fade away from his face, replaced by the frown as he felt the uneasiness seep into his heart.

“No, honey, of course not. What makes you think so?” She questioned back in a worried tone.

“Because,” Jungwoo pouted, “Daddy doesn’t want to talk to me. I asked him to play with me the other day but he told me he was busy.”

Tears started to fill Jungwoo’s eyes. He looked downwards, avoiding any eye contact with his mom. He felt uneasy. He did not want to be hated by his own father.

Mrs. Kim sighed as she squatted down to face the little boy. She patted Jungwoo’s head softly before telling him to look at her, and Jungwoo obeyed.

“Jungwoo, daddy doesn’t hate you and he will never. Daddy and mommy love you the most, no matter what happens. Daddy is a very busy person but he works for you too, so you can go to school and live happily,” she explained.

“But I’m not happy when he doesn’t want to talk to me.” Jungwoo cried. “I don’t want to go to school so Daddy can stay home and play with me.”

“Jungwoo, _honey_ , listen–” said Mrs. Kim before Jungwoo cut her sentence off with another question.

“If Daddy loves me the most, why does he act like he doesn’t?”

Mrs. Kim could feel her heart tear into two as soon as she heard what Jungwoo said. Her son never asked for something selfishly, even though he was only eight years old. He could get everything he wanted – all he needed to do was ask – but Jungwoo never asked for thousands of toys nor overseas vacations. The only thing he had always asked was quality time for the three of them – Jungwoo, his dad, and his mom, but unfortunately it was the last thing his dad could give him.

They were surrounded by money and fame, gold and diamonds, yet they could not fulfil what the little boy wanted. All those materials craved by everyone else could not give him happiness. He wanted something else, something that had no price, something that could bring his family together. Was that too much to ask for?

“Daddy works really hard for Jungwoo, so Jungwoo has to be a good boy and trust him. Daddy might not show it that much, but remember that he loves Jungwoo the most, okay?” asked Mrs. Kim while stroking Jungwoo’s hair gently.

Jungwoo nodded as he wiped his tears. He should not cry – that day was supposed to be a happy day for him with his mom after all, he should not ruin it. Jungwoo took a small step forward to give his mom a warm hug and mumbled, “thank you for being here with Jungwoo, mommy.”

“Mommy loves you, Jungwoo,” she said while patting Jungwoo’s back.

“Jungwoo loves mommy too,” replied the boy as the corners of his lips curved into a smile. He continued, “mommy is the best.”

 

A few hours passed by quickly and Jungwoo had to go home. He was happy. He felt the happiest and it was because he had spent another day with his mom. How Jungwoo wished time could rewind to the morning, so he could start the day again. But at least he was walking hand in hand to the car with his beloved mother.

They had to go home and Jungwoo had to sleep. Then, it would be Monday – the same routine, and the usual ordinary day. The day his parents worked hard and the day he had to go to school again. At least, Jungwoo had a new topic to talk about with his friend – _‘I went to the aquarium with my mom and it was great!’_

Jungwoo laid down on his bed, covered by his favorite warm blanket. His mom sat next to him with a pretty smile up on her face. Jungwoo did not want to sleep yet – he still wanted to talk to his mom – but it was almost 9PM and he had to sleep before he got scolded by his dad. Sleep at nine, wake up at seven. The same routine that had happened every day for years.

“Good night, mommy.” Jungwoo smiled.

“Good night, sweetheart,” she said before giving Jungwoo a peck on his forehead. “See you next Sunday,” she continued.

“Can’t we meet sooner, mommy?” Jungwoo asked as the smile on his face began to fade away.

“Mommy can’t promise you that, but we will meet again on the weekend, okay?”

“Promise?” Jungwoo lifted his little finger, soon to be interlocked with his mom’s as the corners of her lips curved into a smile.

“Promise.”

 

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” said Mr. Kim once he saw his wife entered the bedroom.

“Can we talk about it after I take a bath? I just got home and put Jungwoo to bed,” she said.

Mr. Kim took a glance at the wall clock and clicked his tongue. “It’s almost nine and you _just_ got home? You know Jungwoo has school tomorrow.”

“Can we talk about it _after_ I take a bath, please?” asked Mrs. Kim as she took her jacket off and let out a soft sigh.

“No, it’s about Jungwoo.”

“Jungwoo?” She asked, her eyebrows knitted together.

“Why do you keep taking him out during the weekend? Aren’t you spoiling him too much?”

“No, I am not. He’s our son and he deserves that.”

“I’ve been told that he has started making friends at school. Shouldn’t he just focus on his study instead of making friends that don’t even benefit him?”

“You are talking nonsense. He’s just a kid and what do you expect from him? He needs friends, he can’t be alone forever.”

“He needs friends who benefit him. What would you do if his _friends_ take advantage of him?”

“Jungwoo is smart, I believe he can choose his friends carefully.”

“What makes you say that? Have you met his friends yet? Are they the sons of another big company? Tell me, what do _you_ know?” Demanded Mr. Kim, making his wife speechless.

It was true that Mrs. Kim did not know anything about Jungwoo’s friend, all she knew about was her son finally making a friend for the first time. She was proud, and she was too proud to realize it could lead to something horrible – Jungwoo having to cut ties with his very first friend.

Mr. Kim clicked his tongue again. “Tsk, you can’t even answer me. You should know best that he is _Kim_ Jungwoo and he is not like any ordinary child.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“He will take our business in the future and if he is raised to be a spoiled brat, can you imagine how disastrous it would be once he becomes the head of Kim Corporation?”

“It’s still so far in the future, why are you talking about it right now?”

“Because I see you spoiling him like that, telling him to make friends and taking him out every weekend.”

Mrs. Kim raised her voice. “I don’t spoil him! Listen, Jungwoo is just a kid. An _eight-year-old_ who doesn’t have friends at school because of _you_ and your strict schedule.”

“Now you’re blaming it on me?”

“You know it’s your fault.”

“Don’t you understand how hard it is within the business world? You should understand it best.” He sighed. “Do you think Jungwoo who has such weak appearance and can cry easily would survive people’s criticism and judgement?”

“But you don’t have to be _that_ strict toward him. Jungwoo studies all day and he always gets the first rank at school. You should be proud of him instead of treating him like this.”

“School is a playground, you know it’s nothing like the business world,” said Mr. Kim as he rubbed his temple and groaned in frustration. He continued, “and what’s with your attitude? Is that how you should act toward your husband?”

“Yes it is, because you deserve to be treated like this.”

“You have to listen to me. _I_ am the head of the family, not you. Just because you were raised like a princess, doesn’t mean you can have that attitude toward me.”

“Don’t you realize that you have crossed the line?”

“I should be the one to say that.”

“I will keep doing what I want and Jungwoo’s happiness is my priority. You can say anything but I won’t change my mind about it.”

Mr. Kim rolled his eyes. “Then I won’t make Jungwoo my successor,” he stated.

“What?” Mrs. Kim frowned. “Do you understand what are you talking about?”

“Yes. I don’t need a weak person taking over my business, let alone a spoiled brat.”

“You don’t have to go that far. There’s no way you won’t give the company to him.”

“Who do you think I am? Do you think I can’t find another person who is more suitable to become the CEO rather than my own son who is a crybaby and always hides behind his mommy’s back?”

“You can’t do that.”

“Yes I can! Jungwoo’s happiness is your priority right? So, if Jungwoo doesn’t inherit anything from me and lives his life poorly. Do you think he will still be happy?”

“You’re going way too far. Can’t you trust him more? You said he is your son yet you treat him like nothing but a tool for the company!”

“Neither me nor the company need a weak person like that. This company can grow big in just one generation because I don't waste my time on such unnecessary things like friendship or having fun,” said Mr. Kim in a higher tone.

“Also, you will start accompanying me to meet the investors on the weekend. No objection,” he added.

“But I have promised to meet Jungwoo,” she said as tears began to gather on the corner of her eyes.

“I told you, no objection.”

“Aren’t you being too harsh on him?”

“Jungwoo is my son and he lives with my blood running inside him, if I can be like this then he can be as well.”

“Don’t you love him?”

“I do, that’s why I don’t want him to meet any hardship in the future.”

“You’re wrong! If you really love him, you have to spend your time with him, giving him all the love and affection he deserves. But here you are, doing the opposite–”

“This is the end of the discussion. I don’t want to hear any complaints.”

“…you are insane,” she said, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Watch your mouth! Do not disappoint me any longer or else you will regret it.”

 “I will sleep at the guest room tonight. Good evening,” she said as she walked out the bedroom.

As soon as the door closed, Mrs. Kim groaned in frustration. She could not do anything and she had lost – both her happiness and Jungwoo’s. She could feel the pain growing inside her chest, and her mind kept telling her she had failed protecting Jungwoo, her one and only son.

She was a failure as a mother, and at this realization she broke down in tears and sorrow.

What type of mother can’t protect her own son?

 

Jungwoo was asleep, all safe and sound inside his warm bedroom.

Not once had he thought nor realized that all the happiness he felt that day would turn to nothing but a long gone illusion. He had never known the truth, and he could not blame anyone for it. His brightly colored world crumbled into pieces and was rebuilt into a monochromatic world that was built of schedules, tasks and expectations.

The boy who was supposed to be born under the lucky star, raised with love and affection, was no longer one. The star had burned out and the boy had no other choice but to be the victim who did not know the truth, and might never know it either. He, who was not raised with love or affection, he had to be strong, and had to be perfect.

Someone had said, _never allow yourself to be made a victim,_ but unfortunately, that was not how Jungwoo’s world evolved. He had no choice but to allow himself to be made a victim.

The victim had always wished for a happy ending, but seemed like it would be another impossible dream.

There was no weekend for him anymore.

And he no longer loved it.

* * *

 

Jungwoo widened his eyes.

Their lips met, but it was different from before – it was soft, and there was not a single trace of alcohol in it. It was tasteless, but still better than the bitter aftertaste. His mind went blank. Should he shove Yukhei away? Should he close his eyes? Should he run away? Should he kiss him back? He did not know. He was clueless, but Yukhei broke the kiss first before he found the answers to his questions.

“…Sorry.” Yukhei apologized as he took a small step backward.

Jungwoo blinked a few times. “I–”

“I got carried away.”

“Y-you shouldn’t do that.” Jungwoo stuttered, still not believing what had just happened.

Yukhei scratched his head while avoiding Jungwoo’s gaze. “It wasn’t our first kiss though,” he said, evoking a blush from Jungwoo.

“We have agreed not to bring that up anymore.”

“Just forget it,” Yukhei said. “It means nothing.”

“Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t.”

“Don’t you hate me?” Jungwoo asked and Yukhei finally faced him again, staring right into his eyes without saying anything.

Jungwoo was waiting for the latter to say _yes,_ but Yukhei said nothing, creating a brief silence between the two of them until Jungwoo decided to speak again. “I hate you.”

“…I know.”

Jungwoo frowned after hearing another unexpected answer from Yukhei. The usual Wong Yukhei would definitely say _‘I hate you too’_ but he did not. What just happened? Jungwoo was smart – a full straight A’s student with a perfect GPA – but at that time, it felt like no qualification would ever prepare him for a moment like this. Everything happened too fast and Jungwoo was left puzzled.

A tense air began to linger, creating an uncomfortable silence between them. Jungwoo broke the eye contact first, avoiding the latter’s figure at all cost. Yukhei did the same thing as he faced the fish tank again, as if the fish had become a thousand times more interesting than before. Neither of them wanted to initiate a conversation, let alone exchange any more unanswered questions.

But so many questions circle in their minds, but none of them were worth voicing just yet. They decided that some things were meant to be left unsaid even though, deep inside their hearts, they longed for the questions to be answered.

Several minutes passed by but it felt like forever for the two of them. One of them had to speak up, or else they would remain trapped inside the current situation forever. Finally, after another few minutes, Jungwoo decided to end the silence between them.

“I... I just remembered I have to meet Doyoung _hyung_ so I will go back first.”

Jungwoo lied – he just wanted to run away. Another lame excuse by Kim Jungwoo, but he did not care anymore. Call him a coward or whatever, but he had to get himself out of the brewing turmoil – or to be precise – to avoid Yukhei until he got back the confidence he had lost.

“Do you want me to drive you there?”

“No,” Jungwoo objected in less than a second. “You should wait for Yuta and Sicheng and go home with them.”

“Then–”

“I will take a cab. I will go now because I don’t want Doyoung _hyung_ to wait for me,” said Jungwoo, cutting off the latter’s sentence. “S-send my regards to the other two. Bye.”

“Lying until the end, huh?” Yukhei asked in a low voice, almost as audible as a whisper.

Jungwoo took a step forward and ran, passing by Yukhei without answering him. His face turned rosy color as he remembered the kiss that Yukhei just gave him. _What was that_ , he thought in the back of his mind. He left the amusement park puzzled. His breaths hitched and his mind went blank. He needed his room to breathe in, he needed someone to listen to him and help him to clear his mind.

He needed his _hyung_.

* * *

“Tell me,” demanded the older guy.

Jungwoo stared at Doyoung who sat in front of him, dressed in his pajamas and his hands holding a giant pillow. Jungwoo decided to sleep over at Doyoung’s place, hoping to have a long night talk and to wake up fresh in the morning. Furthermore, he did not have to meet Yukhei for at least a day – which was his main intention in staying at Doyoung’s.

Doyoung stared back at Jungwoo who seemed to hesitate before expressing his thoughts. Jungwoo was not sure how to start nor how to explain the whole situation. There was no way he told Doyoung immediately about the kiss, but he knew that there was a big secret underlying his hesitation.

Jungwoo knew Doyoung would not judge him – he trusted him the most after all – but it would be weird to begin the story with _‘Yukhei kissed me’_. Even Jungwoo himself would freak out if he was the one listening to it.

“So,” Jungwoo took a deep breath. “do you remember the deal I made with Yukhei?”

“About the weekend? Did you lose again?”

“No— I mean, there’s no win or lose but… _things_ happened.”

Doyoung raised an eyebrow before asking another question, “What do you mean by _things_?”

“We went to the amusement park and uh, surprisingly,” Jungwoo lowered his voice. “I may or may not hate it that much but, before I got here, Yukhei…uh, he k-kissed me.”

“Kissed?” Doyoung repeated with a voice higher than before. Jungwoo nodded and, before he said anything, Doyoung flooded him with another batch of questions.

“Wait, are you guys a _thing_ now? Since when?”

“What? No, that’s impossible. You know we hate each oth–” Jungwoo answered, but a sudden thought came into his mind, cutting the words his lips had yet to form.

Yukhei did not say it. Yukhei did not say he hated him like he usually did. He said nothing, even after a minute passed by. He remembered the expression Yukhei had back then, right after they kissed, and right after Jungwoo said he hated him.

There was no sly grin, and neither was there a smile. He showed almost no expression, except for the softness that glistened within his eyes – something that couldn’t be translated into words, something that couldn’t be found in any book, something abstract, unexpressed, and unexpected. Jungwoo did not know what it was, but he knew it was something different.

It had meaning – perhaps it was the reason behind the kiss – but Jungwoo was too afraid to know what it was. For him, it was better for some things to be left unsettled.

“Why are you suddenly silent? Are you okay?” Doyoung asked worriedly, bringing Jungwoo back into reality before his mind wandered even more.

“I’m fine, _hyung._ Sorry, I got distracted for a bit.” He apologized. “Back to your question again, we are not a thing.”

“But he kissed you.”

“He said he got carried away,” Jungwoo paused. “and he said it means nothing.”

“Nothing? Was he playing with you or something? Does he want to meet my fist?” Doyoung asked, almost loud enough as a shout.

“Well…” Jungwoo scratched his head, hesitating again.

“You better tell me the whole story or else I will be sure to pay him a visit tomorrow,” said Doyoung as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“So if I don’t tell you the whole story you will go and punch him?” Jungwoo questioned back before letting out a soft chuckle.

It was possible for Doyoung to punch Yukhei – he had done it once to Jaehyun after all – but, to think of it again, Yukhei was wild and intimidating, he could punch Doyoung back and they would end up killing each other.

“Honestly, it sounds like a good idea, but okay, I will tell you more,” Jungwoo continued. His heart raced as he was afraid to see how his _hyung_ would react.

“I’m all ears,” the older guy answered.

“Uh, so, we kind of… accidentally had a one-night stand?”

Doyoung widened his eyes as soon as he heard what Jungwoo said. Sure enough it was the first time for Jungwoo to see that expression on Doyoung’s face – jaw dropped and eyes gaping.

“Have I misheard something?”

Jungwoo shook his head. “Listen, okay, we were drunk,” he explained.

“ _You_ were _drunk_? Did you also smoke something?” Doyoung questioned in puzzlement.

“Yes, I was drunk but no, I did not smoke anything.”

“You don’t even want to go to a food court, why would _you_ go to a club?”

“The deal. Of course it was because of the deal, and we ended up in a hotel room. I fucked up,” Jungwoo groaned.

“Yes, you did. You were fucked though.”

Jungwoo coughed. “I…I didn’t mean it that way–”

“Are you sure you hate him? Are you sure he hates you? Because you won’t fuck or kiss anyone you hate.” Doyoung paused, letting a brief silence fill the room before he continued again.

“Well, you might jump on him because he’s hot, but I know you won’t because you hate him. But guess what? Plot twist,” he said.

“Do you think I would jump on anyone just because of their face?”

“You said the exact same thing a few months ago.”

“I hate him,” Jungwoo stated, before he lowered his voice and mumbled, “maybe not as much as before but–”

“Is it because of the kiss?” Doyoung asked, cutting off the younger guy’s sentence.

“No! Of course no! It’s just…I feel like he’s not as bad as I thought,” he confessed. Even Jungwoo himself surprised that he admitted it and said it out loud.

“So it’s about the kiss.”

Jungwoo frowned. “Why are you so obsessed with the kiss? I told you it’s not like that. I still hate him okay? I only feel like he’s not that bad.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Jungwoo said nothing. There was no way he would tell Doyoung how he clung to Yukhei in the haunted house and felt safe. There was no way he would tell him how his hand felt warm when they ran hand in hand with each other. There was no way he would confess the brief moment of hesitation that existed when Yukhei kissed him – conflicted on whether to push Yukhei away or to close his eyes and kiss him back. His pride would not let himself to say it out loud, not even to his closest friend.

Yukhei was still the same – unpredictable, messy, and annoying – but as months passed by and they spent a couple of weekends together, Jungwoo had to admit that Yukhei was not as bad as he thought. If it was not the case, Jungwoo would never have said _thank you_ to Yukhei. He was still in denial, but at least he realized that not everything about Yukhei was a total mess.

“Is there a possibility of you starting to see him in _that_ way?” Doyoung asked again.

“What is _that_?”

“Romantically.”

“No!” Jungwoo answered in second. “Just because I said that doesn’t mean I like him. No, never.”

“Yeah but you two kissed and fucked.”

“They are just accidents, okay? As he said, they meant nothing and there’s no real meaning behind them,” Jungwoo explained.

“First of all, it’s very possible to be attracted to the person you hate. I mean, physically.” Doyoung sighed. “But I don’t understand why would he kiss you like that. He might get carried away by the situation but it’s just weird.”

“Me neither.”

“Do you know that the line between hate and love is thin? Even if you don’t like him, _he_ might like you. Both hate and love are strong emotions and they have the same stem inside the brain.”

“As expected from a psychology student but...it won’t happen. There was no way we would see each other romantically. We don’t match each other and we have the _worst_ type of relationship.”

“Sure,” Doyoung spoke up in a mocking tone and Jungwoo rolled his eyes immediately.

“Okay I admit I’m physically attracted to him, but it is only a mere attraction. Every person who has eyes would agree he looks good, and just because I admit that doesn’t mean I will think of him as my love interest,” said the younger guy. His face clearly forming an unamused expression, silently regretting his decision to spill almost everything on his mind.

“As usual, you are very stubborn.”

“Don’t mention anything about romance again, okay? I don’t want to think about it for now.”

“But isn’t it fine to find a new love already?”

“No and you don’t have a right to ask that since you, yourself, are a sing–”

“I want to focus on my study first,” Doyoung stated.

“Me too.”

“Says someone who has been out every weekend.”

“It’s because of the deal,” Jungwoo scoffed.

“So, if you don’t like him romantically and you want to focus on your study,” Doyoung paused, hesitating. There was something on his mind, and he was not sure if he should share it or not. He stared right into Jungwoo’s eyes and his expression changed, making the latter raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Let me ask you something,” he said, finally deciding to speak out his thoughts.

“What is it?” Jungwoo questioned curiously.

“If,” Doyoung cleared his throat. “ _If_ Jaehyun ask you to get back with him again, would you reject him?”

Jungwoo narrowed his eyes as his face mimicked an irritated expression. “ _Hyung_ , you know I don’t want to talk about it again.”

“I know.”

“But you still ask me about that? You should have known the answer already.”

“Just this time. I’m worried about you so I asked,” Doyoung explained shortly.

“I don’t know what you are worrying about.” Jungwoo raised his voice in annoyance. “Let’s not talk about him again. I’m starting to feel annoyed with these kind of topics. I have told you before, _hyung_. You know me best, you should have known what hurts me and what annoys me the most.”

“But–”

“No buts,” Jungwoo demanded, cutting Doyoung’s sentence before he let out any other words.

Doyoung sighed before he spoke up again, “okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt or annoy you. I’m sorry for making you feel that way.”

Jungwoo broke their eye contact – he felt uneasy, uncomfortable, and completely annoyed. It disappointed him that Doyoung kept bothering him with the same topic again and again. Doyoung knew everything – about what Jaehyun did to him, about how they broke up, and about how hurt Jungwoo was back then – he was the one who saw Jungwoo break down in tears after all.

Jungwoo decided to stay at the latter’s house to clear up his mind and untangle the thread inside his head, but not once had he thought the person he trusted the most would bring him back another thread that he had tried to bury and forget.

“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t mention it again,” Doyoung added.

“Promise?” Jungwoo asked as a hurtful expression showed up on his face.

“Promise,” Doyoung said, followed by a pout on Jungwoo’s face. “Okay, come here, let me give you a hug,” he continued as he opened his arms wide.

“You better keep your promise, _hyung._ ” Jungwoo muttered before he leaned closer to Doyoung and hugged him. He was disappointed, but he knew he could not stay mad at Doyoung for too long – at least he had listened to his rants all this time.

“On a second thought, _this_ is so gay,” Doyoung said jokingly as he felt Jungwoo’s arms tighten around him.

“Well, I am.” Jungwoo replied.


	25. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But honestly,” Jungwoo paused, letting a brief second of hesitation filled his mind before he decided to continue. “I guess… you are not as bad…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so slow :(( I love you all!

Time flew, things changed.

Both Jungwoo and Yukhei were prideful, sometimes _too_ prideful to the point they would rather keep everything inside their hearts than pouring it into words. They tried to deny the fact, but they knew they could not do that forever. Even though it was weird at first – or maybe it still was – the two of them realized that the deep hatred was no longer there anymore. It used to linger inside their hearts for a long time, but as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, somehow it began to fade to almost nothing.

_Almost._

So, there they were, after a few days of Jungwoo avoiding Yukhei and finally letting go the unanswered questions, they met again at a coffee shop near the university, sitting one across another. Their eyes were set on the books in their hands, but their minds were wondering to somewhere else, inside each of their deep thoughts. It was Tuesday and they were supposed to study together. Normally, they would end up at the library, to the extent where Yukhei wanted to puke every time he saw the cursed building. But this time, he had succeeded in tempting Jungwoo to study outside, saying he would lose his focus if he kept studying inside the same building almost every day.

Jungwoo agreed to his own surprise, not once had he thought that he would agree to such idea. He used to oppose all of Yukhei suggestions – from drinks, foods, places, to being friends with Ten. Jungwoo wondered if Yukhei had a romantic feeling toward the Thai guy because he always said good things about him. But, even though he was right, it would not matter to him, right? Not even in the slightest. Instead, wouldn’t it be good for Yukhei and Ten to date each other? So Jungwoo could get back to his normal life; no weekends, no fun, just an ordinary life with schedules and tasks.

The sudden thought encouraged a small twist inside Jungwoo’s stomach, as if it was telling him not to go back into the same monochromatic world he used to live in. He was fine with it and he had always been fine for years but, deep inside his heart, as he already had a small taste of freedom, he did not want to go back anymore. Not once had he thought that the small freedom Yukhei gave him had left him addicted, twisting the loathe toward the weekend into something else, something that he missed and longed for.

Jungwoo closed the book and put it on the desk. He shifted his gaze toward Yukhei, whose eyes were set on the book in his hand – even though Yukhei was not studying for real. Unconsciously, his eyes were set on Yukhei for longer than usual, as if he was studying the other’s face thoroughly. Some uninvited thoughts flew to his mind, and they were all exactly the same as before, when they were still each other’s enemy, when they studied together for the first time, when Jungwoo felt a huge attraction toward the guy in front of him: Yukhei was outstandingly handsome.

“Are you done staring at me like that? You creep me out.”

The sudden words Yukhei blurted out brought Jungwoo back to reality. He averted his eyes from Yukhei, too embarrassed to even look at him anymore. Had he really stared at Yukhei for _that_ long — long enough that he hadn’t recognized Yukhei had noticed? _Wow_. He longed to bury himself somewhere far.

“What’s wrong?” asked Yukhei while raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Jungwoo answered. There was no way he would say ‘you look good so I stared at you’ right?

“You are weird,” Yukhei said, “as always.”

“You too, piñata head.”

“Stop calling me piñata head,” Yukhei groaned as he closed his book and put it next to Jungwoo’s.

“I will stop calling you that when you stop being one, and when will that be?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong yet you’re always being mean to me,” Yukhei complained.

Jungwoo shrugged, still avoiding the other’s gaze. “I’m only mean toward the people I don’t like,” he said.

“Oh,” Yukhei sipped on his coffee before continuing his speculation, “‘Don’t like’?' A nice step down from ‘hate’, I’m flattered.”

Jungwoo coughed and said nothing. He looked downwards instead, starting to pick his nails. Wrong word choice, _Kim Jungwoo, you should not have said that_ at all _,_ he thought. And for the second time in that day, Jungwoo wanted to bury himself somewhere far.

Yukhei was waiting for Jungwoo to answer him, but since he got nothing, he knew he’d struck bullseye. He noticed the rosy tint that decorated Jungwoo’s face, and he noticed Jungwoo’s small gestures under the table. It was awkward, and it began to creep him out. A sudden feeling of regret squeezed his heart. He should not have said that. He felt bad.

“I…” Yukhei spoke up again, trying to shove away the awkward atmosphere. Jungwoo did not flinch, but Yukhei knew he was listening. He continued, “don’t hate you anymore.”

Yukhei gulped. Did the barista add a shot of truth serum to his coffee? All he wanted to do was break the ice, yet all he seemed to do was add fuel to the fire. He was right though – Jungwoo was listening, and that was why puzzlement written all over his face as he faced the younger guy again.

His heart felt uneasy after the sudden slip of information. He never thought words like those would ever leave Yukhei’s mouth. What to answer, he questioned himself. Yukhei left him speechless again, and again, like the way it had always been.

Silence.

Both Jungwoo and Yukhei could not even count anymore how many silence had happened between them. Yukhei always left Jungwoo speechless, and Jungwoo always chose to say nothing instead of letting the arguments go on. The atmosphere around them turned tense every time _this_ happened, but somehow it was different from _before;_ before the kiss, before they held each other’s hands, before the days they spent together, and before they unconsciously began to accept each other’s presence in their lives.

‘ _Why’_ was the only word Jungwoo could ask. Several questions came to his mind, but he tried his best to stop himself from letting them out. A part of his was too afraid to know the answer, yet another part of his was dying to know everything. Some questions were meant to be left unanswered, he knew. But at the moment like this, when Yukhei stared right into his eyes, he felt like he was being forced to letting everything out. He tried his best not to, he tried to stop himself from getting emotional over Yukhei’s gazes, he tried to remind himself that he should not get into Yukhei’s little game again.

There was a brief silence between Jungwoo’s question and the latter’s answer, as if Yukhei was picking his words carefully, trying not to worsen the situation. “Surprisingly, you are not as bad as what I thought,” Yukhei confessed after clearing his throat.

Jungwoo widened his eyes in disbelief. Was Yukhei only playing with him? It must be a joke, right? That rude, chaotic piñata head was telling him that _he_ was not as bad as what he thought?

“You are lying,” Jungwoo said.

“It’s up to you whether you want to believe it or not, but I’m not you, I’m not a liar.”

“You keep saying I’m a liar but then you said you don’t hate me anymore,” Jungwoo replied. “You told me you hate liar.”

“I do.” Yukhei looked away. “Do you want me to keep hating you forever?”

Jungwoo froze, so were his fingers that kept on picking his nails until they hurt. Yukhei was full of surprise, he was unexpected. Jungwoo knew that and he should not be surprised anymore but, Yukhei had never failed to surprise him even once – whether with his action or words.

“Why did you hate me?” Jungwoo asked, obviously avoiding the latter’s previous question. He was supposed not to care about it, whether Yukhei hated him or not, it should not matter to him. But he felt the uneasiness inside his heart, telling him to be honest and accepting the fact that he did not want Yukhei to hate him forever.

“I didn’t expect you to ask me that,” Yukhei said before he sipped on his coffee again.

“Just...tell me the reason,” Jungwoo mumbled as he tried his best to caught Yukhei’s eyes. He had never done that before – he was the one who always avoided gazes after all, but now he was seeking for the truth. Curiosity killed the cat but he chose to take the risk.

It was 3 in the afternoon and the noises around them had increased, as the coffee shop began to be filled with more people. But neither of them were bothered, both drowning inside their own thoughts, thinking of every possibility and risk of the words they would let out.

Yukhei was full of hesitation, even Jungwoo noticed that as the younger guy kept avoiding to see him in the eyes. He wondered if Yukhei hated him _that_ much to the point he did not want to tell him the reason. Jungwoo was still clueless about it. No traces inside his head reminded him that he had done something wrong to Yukhei. Jungwoo admitted how good of a liar he was, but never once had he hurt Yukhei because of his lies. Non-sense, he thought. Was what it? Why did he get so much hate because of things he did not even know? He was waiting, but Yukhei still said nothing.

Yukhei was deep in his thoughts, hesitating whether how much of the truth he should tell Jungwoo. He could just lie to get away, but he did not want to lie. He hated liar and he did not want to hate himself for being one. There was no way he would tell Jungwoo about how he saw a glimpse of his past within Jungwoo, and he hated it. There was no way he would tell Jungwoo about how he detested his fucked up life, and he blamed Jungwoo for it. There was no way he would tell Jungwoo about how he played victim, covering the pain with his own euphoria, then pulling Jungwoo into it; all because of the guilty feeling in exchange for the blame.

“Are you listening to me?” Jungwoo asked impatiently.

“I am.” Yukhei nodded.

“Then, why aren’t you answering?”

A soft sigh left Yukhei’s mouth. He faced Jungwoo again, making their eyes met each other again, telling words that could not be spoken.

“My dad always compares me to you, ever since we haven’t even know each other yet.It pissed me off, especially after we met and I found out that you’re not even as close as how that old man told me,” Yukhei stated. That was it. That was everything he could say for now… at least.

“Huh?” Jungwoo raised an eyebrow. “You are joking, right?”

“No, that’s it.”

“Are you a five years old or what?” Jungwoo said before he cracked up, loosening the tense air around them. “I thought I had done something worse like decreasing your stock exchange or something like that.”

“And you are a liar. I hate it the most,” Yukhei added.

“I do them for good,” Jungwoo said, defending himself.

“Of course, you are a good liar after all.”

“That’s how business world works. You should understand since that’s the world you live in too,” said Jungwoo with a voice higher than before.

Yukhei frowned, clearly showing his displease at how Jungwoo snarled at him. Some of the people around them turned to see them, wondering if there was an argument between the two young guys. Yukhei only nodded and cracked a soft smile, gesturing nothing happened and people should just mind their own business.

“I know, you don’t have to snap at me like that,” Yukhei said after no one gave them weird stares anymore.

“Oh...I... didn’t mean it that way,” Jungwoo apologized before he continued in a mumble, “...sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Yukhei replied. “So, how about you? Why do you hate me?”

Jungwoo cleared his throat. “To put it simply, you are rude and annoying.”

“Thanks, as if you are not annoying yourself,” said Yukhei in a mocking tone.

“I didn’t do anything but you called me egghead and boring.”

“So you are the type of person who holds grudge.”

“Shut up, you annoying piñata head.”

“Denying the fact, huh?” Yukhei smirked and Jungwoo rolled his eyes right away, irritated by how the younger guy tried to corner him every single time.

“But honestly,” Jungwoo paused, letting a brief second of hesitation filled his mind before he decided to continue. “I guess… you are not as bad…”

Jungwoo stopped his words, as if the rest of it was lost under his breath. He did not dare to look at Yukhei, nor to guess the expression on his face. He shuffled under the latter’s gaze, inviting him to ask more and more questions, even though Yukhei was smart enough to figure out what the rest of the sentence was. Yukhei asked, “what do you mean?”

Jungwoo could feel his face getting warm. Sure enough it had turned to scarlet color by now. Just less than an hour ago, he was so brave to seek the truth out of Yukhei, but now as he became the one who had to tell the truth, he could feel nothing but embarrassment.

“I… I don’t want to admit it but well, you are not… a bad person,” Jungwoo confessed as his lowered his voice slowly, to the point it became inaudible at the end of the sentence.

“You just realized?” asked Yukhei as the corner of his lips turned curved into a smirk.

“But you’re still annoying,” said Jungwoo quickly, as if he was cancelling the secret he just told. He frowned as he remembered the thing Yukhei told him at first and said, “You told me I’m not as bad as you thought, but actually I’ve been a good person from the start, it was just you who treated me wrong.”

“You really did hold grudge, didn’t you?” Yukhei rolled his eyes. “You can blame the old man. He takes part in my hatred toward you.”

“And what did you mean by I’m not close to what he described to you?”

Yukhei sighed. “He told me you’re a really good person but, he didn’t know that you’re just a liar.”

“You keep saying I’m a liar as if I tell lies every time I speak,” Jungwoo groaned.

“Isn’t it the truth?”

“No!” Jungwoo objected. “I told you before it is how the business world works.”

“You might be perfect in that old man and other people’s eyes, but actually, you’re just a bird that can’t leave its cage,” Yukhei paused as he saw the rosy tint on Jungwoo’s cheeks had turned into scarlet color. He was right in the bull’s eye again, was not he?

Yukhei leaned closer and continued, “or a chess piece that was moved by another person,”

Jungwoo looked downwards. “I have to look perfect in their eyes. I am _Kim_ Jungwoo from the _Kim_ Corporation. People will judge me if I make mistake,” he blurted out.

Yukhei sighed before lifting Jungwoo’s chin, making their eyes met each other again and closing the gap between their faces. He could see the older guy’s eyes clearly, and he could see his own reflection on them. He could not even believe it himself, that he did _that_ to Jungwoo – touching him freely, as if it was something normal for them.

Yukhei had always been a touchy person, but not once had he thought of touching Jungwoo like that. It was different from how he touched countless of girls he had slept with before, it was also different from how he touched Ten and embraced him all night long. He touched Jungwoo regardless how he felt toward him, as if he had the urge to touch him. The urge to touch Kim Jungwoo.

“So,” Yukhei said, breaking the silence. “What if they judge you?”

“W-what are you doing?” Jungwoo stuttered. He was completely clueless, did not know what to do. He could sense some people staring at them, some even muttering and laughing quietly. What if they know who he was? What if one of them was an acquaintance of his dad? What if—

“Answer me,” Yukhei stated in a demanding voice.

“No, l-like, what are you doing?” Jungwoo leaned backward after shoving Yukhei’s fingers under his chin. “People are watching,” he said.

“You really are afraid of how people judge you.”

“They will hate me. Some people will even try to bring me down or leave me.”

Yukhei sighed again. “Listen,” he said. “This is your life and you have to live it for your own good. People will judge you no matter what you do.”

“I know, but—”

“You can’t do anything to stop them.”

Silence immediately lingered around them. Jungwoo said nothing. He knew what Yukhei said was true – people would judge him no matter what he did, either it was good or bad, either it was perfect or imperfect. It happened every time, but Jungwoo never learned to stop seeking for the perfection his dad wanted.

Whenever he did good, people approached him and praised him with sugar coated words, foreshadowing their real intentions of greed and envies. Everybody loved _Kim_ Jungwoo, but only a few loved him for real. And once things turned bad, all Jungwoo got was mockery and pressure, either it was from the people who _loved_ him, or even from his father who never noticed all the frustration he felt inside.

“I don’t care if you are not perfect. I’m not perfect either. Imperfection makes you human and it’s a thousand times better than the perfection that was made up by lies,” said Yukhei, trying to loosen the knot.

Jungwoo widened his eyes before looking downwards, staring at the short nails that had been picked several times that day. What was that, Jungwoo thought. He did not know, to be precise, he was too afraid to know. What Yukhei’s said was out of the question – he was thinking about something else, and it was the thing that just happened within him.

The moment Yukhei’s finished his words, it was the moment his heart ached, as if it stopped beating for a second. He felt his eyes burning and tears were about to come out. He had to stop them, he did not want to look weak in front of Yukhei. He had cried once and he regretted it. His dad taught him for years, crying was only for the weak, and Jungwoo was not one. He should not cry, yet why would something about Yukhei always made him feel emotional; whether it was his words, touches, or gazes.

Little did he know, it was something he had longed to hear for years, for his entire life, from his parents, from people around him, and even from himself. For him, it was _not_ okay to be imperfect. He had to be perfect and he had to be strong. The smile he put on his face, the sweet talks in front of the lies; everything was for the sake of protecting _Kim_ Jungwoo from the cruel world he had to survive.

People thought Jungwoo had always been given everything on a silver platter but, no one knew that the platter had broken into pieces already. The pressure he got from his dad, the perfection he had to seek and become, and the moment he had to abandon his own feelings, freedom, and dreams only for the sake of others. All he felt inside were nothing but exhaustion and isolation that had been left unnoticed for long.

Jungwoo was someone whose life was full of impossible expectations and pressure, either he lived in perfection or suffer in imperfection. And at that time, the only person who had touched him in the place no one had ever done before was Yukhei. Jungwoo tried his best not to cry, but the more he tried, the more he wanted to pour out everything he had kept for a long, long time.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Yukhei asked immediately once he saw the tears on the latter’s cheeks. Jungwoo nodded before letting out a soft sob, making the other guy felt bad and guilty.

“I’m sorry for being too harsh,” he apologized.

“No, it’s fine. I am just…” Jungwoo paused. “Being over emotional.”

“You know,” Yukhei said. “You might be one of the most annoying person I’ve ever met. You nag almost all the time, you like to butt into others’ business, you are the embodiment of saltiness, and you are a coward who runs away whenever things disadvantage you.

These are your imperfections but aren’t they were the things that make you human? If you truly are a perfect egghead, I’d chose to be kicked out my house forever than living with a robot who has no emotions and flaws,” he confessed.

“Y-you are the worst. I’m crying right now and all you can do is saying things like that?” Jungwoo exclaimed.

“I mean… it’s fine to be imperfect. Just do what you want to do and don’t let others control your life and emotions. I told you that you’re not as bad as I thought, right? Then that means you are fine like this,” said Yukhei in a lower tone, as if he did not want Jungwoo to hear him clearly. He cleared his throat, he hesitated, he sighed. But, he still let his tongue to speak his mind out and never ran away.

“You have some positive sides on you, so, you should stop crying before anyone come here and ask you if I was the one who made you cry,” he added.

“I will stop only if you tell me all the _positive sides_ you just said,”

“Well in that case you can cry all you want and I will leave first.”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before wiping his tears. “Thanks… I guess,” he mumbled.

Yukhei could not take his eyes off Jungwoo and his bloodshot eyes. Both corners of his lips curled into a smile – not the usual sly grin that Jungwoo hated, but a genuine smile he had never shown before. He never thought that the day for him to exchange a serious conversation with Jungwoo would come. _Well_ , he had done that a few times before but, this one was different. There was no deep hatred anymore inside his heart, and he admitted to something that he and his pride would never do a few months ago.

Not once had he thought that his own idea – the deal – would end up making him understand Jungwoo and their relationship more. By the time they spent together, he realized there was no use in hating Jungwoo forever. After all, deep down inside his heart he knew that Jungwoo was the only person who could understand his best.

He was a man with full of pride and truth to be said, Jungwoo was the only one who could make him throw his pride away. Either it was to touch him or being honest to his own feelings.

“I...am sorry for being rude to you,” Yukhei said before offering his hand to Jungwoo, which made the older guy tilt his head up and face him again.

“I’m sorry for nagging every time,” he replied as he reached the other’s hand and shook it lightly.

“You admit that.”

“S-shut up.”

It was weird. Really, _really,_ weird. Just a few weeks ago they were still enemies, hating each other to their guts, and now here they were, having this kind of conversation. Both Jungwoo and Yukhei knew how prideful they were but, they also knew that sometimes, they had no other choice but to throw those pride away and trade them with the happiness they got from being honest to each other.

Neither Jungwoo nor Yukhei were ready for this, but things happened and time flew quickly. Sooner or later they had to admit what they felt toward each other – and it was not loathe anymore. Even if the world went against the two of them, they had to realize no one would understand them better than themselves. The sadness that hid behind their covers, the pain that were hidden under their money and fame, and the indescribable loneliness that no one could filled.

No one.

No one but Jungwoo to Yukhei.

No one but Yukhei to Jungwoo.

* * *

The deal was cancelled and it was not because Yukhei broke it.

Jungwoo had to go to Hong Kong with his dad, meeting fellow CEO’s and the stockholders of his company. He had asked Yukhei whether he wanted to go along, but the tall guy rejected the offer immediately. He told Jungwoo that the friend whose name sounded fake, Johnny, was in Korea and they wanted to meet up.

Well, it was noticeable enough for Jungwoo to realize that it was only one of the reasons why Yukhei declined him. He knew it mostly was because Mr. Wong was there, and Yukhei did not want to meet him. Truth to be said, Yukhei was supposed to be there – he was the future CEO after all – but, Jungwoo was not brave enough to ask anything nor forcing him to go. All he could say was ‘ _okay’_ and that was it.

 

Jungwoo stood among the crowd, dressed in a brand new Prada suits and wearing his favorite Saint Laurent perfume. _This_ was what his world looked like; getting surrounded by some of the richest people in the world, conversing about money, investment, stocks, and last but not least, gossips.

Jungwoo sighed softly, not wanting anyone around him to notice that he had been feeling uncomfortable since the start. First of all, he never liked crowds, let alone that some of them were trying to steal his attention and touching him freely. He was fine with the topic of business as he had learned about them and he loved learning new things but, unfortunately, not all the topics were like that.

He was tired of being asked by several old men if he wanted to marry their granddaughters. He was tired of hearing some old ladies bragging about their Hermes bags or Louboutin shoes. He was tired of being forced to listen to scandals that were not even matter to him in the first place. Who would care if the daughter of Lee Corporation had an affair with a commoner? He would not, but one of the stockholders would and he had no other choice but to listen.

His dad was already out of sight, but Jungwoo still had to act like Mr. Kim was still around. Eyes were everywhere and there was no room for him to make mistake no matter how small it was. Jungwoo was dying of boredom yet he had to pretend like everything was interesting.

Your breakfast costed two hundred dollars? That’s cool. You just bought a villa in Switzerland? That’s awesome. You found out your wife had been cheating on you? I am sorry to hear that but you know I am siding with you. You took a morning shower? That was very unnecessary for me to know but, _okay_ , I am listening.

Honestly, deep down in his heart, Jungwoo would rather stay in Seoul and spent his weekend with Yukhei. Bad things might happen when he went out with Yukhei but, at least it would be more fun than staying in the fancy building and faking his emotions all the time.

The crowds made him feel anxious and the pressure he got was no joke. People kept throwing endless questions at him and he had no other choice but to answer – whether with truth or lies. He had to say he was happy, when in fact he was not. He had to reject some marriage proposals and said it was because of his study, when in fact he was just gay. He had to say that he had a _really_ good relationships with his parents, when in fact he only met them once or twice a month.

His brilliant answers gave him a hundred of praises and compliments but, what they reminded him of were no other than what Yukhei told him back then. Did he intend to do that forever? Tricking people and hiding the truth under the lies. He remembered the expression on Yukhei’s face when he said how good of a faker he was, pretending to smile and talking confidently when in fact, he could not even talk to his friends properly.

Wasn’t he tired of it?  He was.

He _really_ was.

But what could he do?

Nothing.

 

After answering tons of questions, Jungwoo took the chance to get himself out of the crowds and breathe. _Well,_ At least it was what he thought until he met his dad at the corner of the room by coincidence, talking to a familiar man who was no other than Yukhei’s father. At first he wanted to run away – too tired to playing pretend again, but unfortunately, his eyes had met his dad’s and he knew he had to go there right away.

“Good evening, Jungwoo,” said Mr. Wong with a smile as soon as Jungwoo approached them.

Jungwoo bowed before he greeted back. “Good evening, Mr. Wong.”

“How have you been? I heard from your dad that you got a perfect score in the last exams.”

“I have been fine, Mr. Wong, thank you for asking.” Jungwoo smiled. “Yes, the examinations were hard but I studied hard so I could pass them well.”

“Your dad was so proud of you. As expected from an honor student like you,” said the old man, making the smile on Jungwoo’s face grew wider.

“Yukhei’s result was brilliant too, you must be so proud of him,” said Mr. Kim, joining the conversation.

“Oh, it was nothing compared to what Jungwoo got,” replied Mr. Wong before giving Jungwoo a small applause. Jungwoo blinked. Was this one of the comparison games Yukhei had told him before?

“Anyway,” Mr. Wong continued. “How was Yukhei?”

“He’s fine. I have asked him if he want to go along but he said he already has another plan.”

“A _plan_ that is more important than being here?”

_He met up with his friend but it’s boring here, so…_

“I don’t really know about it but he said he has made a promise with his friend first.”

“I see, his _friend._ Thank you for informing me about it, Jungwoo.”

“No problem, Mister–” Jungwoo said before his dad cut his sentence off and told him that he had to meet another colleague of his, leaving him alone with Mr. Wong.

“Pretty sure it was just another rotten friend of him,” said the old man with a sigh.

“What?” Jungwoo widened his eyes, could not believe with what Mr. Wong just said.

“Jungwoo, you don’t have to lie to me anymore.”

“W-what are you talking about, Mr. Wong?” Jungwoo stuttered.

“Even though I am ashamed to admit it, Yukhei is my son and I know how he behaves. That’s why I told him to live with you and learn from you. I don’t even know how to discipline him anymore.”

A soft sigh almost escaped Jungwoo’s lips. Just a minute ago he was afraid that his cover had been found and unfolded again by another Wong. Fortunately, he was not, but, the changing pitch of the old man’s voice made him worried. He knew this would not end up good.

“I realize I have been too busy with work so I was not able to raise him well but, I never thought that he would become someone like that,” he continued.

“It’s not your fault at all, Mr. Wong.”

“I am sure it was mostly because of that woman.” Mr. Wong clicked his tongue in annoyance. The air around them shifted into a tense one and Jungwoo felt uncomfortable with it. If he could take a guess, the _woman_ that Mr. Wong just mentioned was his wife – or maybe his former wife, he was not sure about it. But, before giving Jungwoo a chance to think or ask about it, Mr. Wong spoke up again, throwing a question that made the young guy frowned at once.

“Did he pay the university to get that grade? He’s dumb and he never studied, there’s no way he would get such grade. He did a good job by faking it though, so I don’t have to feel more ashamed because of him. You can tell me the truth and I will not get mad at you, Jungwoo,” accused Mr. Wong.

_What the fuck_.

Jungwoo cursed so hard in the back of his mind. He always thought that what his father said to him was the worst, but _this_ was on another level of _worse_. Yukhei might be a jerk and Mr. Wong was one of the person Jungwoo respected the most. But at that time, Jungwoo had lost almost all of his respect to him. Jungwoo knew best how hard Yukhei studied back then and the fact that Mr. Wong, Yukhei’s _own_ father, accusing him like that made him felt really, _really_ bad.

Jungwoo was aware of how important the weekend was to Yukhei, and he sacrificed it so neither of their necks would be on the line. He was aware of how harsh his study session was and no matter how much Yukhei complained and cursed, he went through it and did excellent on the test. He was aware of how hard Yukhei had work on it and he did not deserve to be treated like that.

“I apologize if I sound rude but, _your_ son had studied so hard for the test. He studied with me the whole weekend and I acknowledge the effort he put on it. Please believe in him more, Mr. Wong.” Jungwoo snapped, still trying to sound as polite as possible.

He might not have a good relationship with Yukhei, and even though they had apologized to each other, did not mean they became best friends immediately. Jungwoo knew he did not have to stand up for Yukhei. Mr. Wong’s impression of him was supposed to be more important after all. But, he could not stand it.

“If it’s not you, I probably would think Yukhei has bribed you to say that,” Mr. Wong stated as distaste began to show all over his face.

“I do not mean to preach you or anything. Mr. Wong. I apologized, I just want you to have more trust in your son. He…” Jungwoo took a deep breath. “is not as bad as you thought.”

Jungwoo realized he could be in a big trouble if his dad knew about this but, that was the first truth he said that day and there was no single trace of regret inside his heart. He knew he had done the right thing and he should not be ashamed of it.

Mr. Wong sighed. “Well, I hope it was true but honestly, even though he is a son of mine, I can’t trust him easily.”

“I understand, Mr. Wong. I have not known him for long, and truth to be said, we argue with each other sometimes. But, regardless his… _weird_ behavior, he could be trusted. He is blunt but he is an honest person.” Jungwoo bit his lips softly, afraid that he had crossed the line he should not.

Jungwoo had to stop. He took risk and might put himself in trouble because of the words he said, but he just could not help but voicing his mind out loud. He felt horrible because Mr. Wong trusted him more than Yukhei when in fact the person who lied the most was _him_.

“You are defending him too much, Jungwoo.”

_Oh shit._

“I’m not defending him, Mr. Wong. I–” Jungwoo tried to save himself, but Mr. Wong cut his sentence off even before he finished it.

“Honestly, I don’t like him and his attitude. In addition, all of his friends here are rotten. Gambling, racing, wasting money every single day. He acts like he does well, while in fact he uses all the money he could use for investment on those things,” said Mr. Wong.

_You sure talk a lot about your son’s bad behavior to other people._

Jungwoo could see how displeased the older man was when he talked about his son. It was the same expression Yukhei showed him whenever Jungwoo brought Mr. Wong to the topics – it clearly told him how bad their relationship was.   

“But I am glad he could be friends with a person like you. There’s so much things he could learn from you and he has to realize that how he behaves right now won’t make him my successor. I hope you didn’t sugarcoat anything but it is good to hear that from you. I should have send him to your house sooner in that case,” he added.

_Friends._

Was that how Jungwoo should name his current relationship with Yukhei? Even he himself had been questioning it for days. Just a few months ago, both of them were nothing but enemies that hated each other’s guts. Things happened fast, or maybe _too_ fast but, maybe it was because he quietly enjoyed the time he spent with Yukhei.

Time moved slowly inside his monochromatic world and without a doubt, the perpetual habits that were built for years caused that. The habits of following the same schedules and tasks every single day made Jungwoo’s world turned colorless. But then, it seemed like _someone_ had shown him what it felt like to see color again.

Perhaps it was not at the same world he lived in, perhaps he had to escape it and got into a new one, where the things he had lost could be find again; the love toward the weekend, the desire to be free, and the happiness to fill the crack on his heart.

“I will try not to disappoint you, Mr. Wong,” said Jungwoo before his dad came to him and interrupted his conversation with Mr. Wong.

Both Jungwoo and Mr. Wong turned to face Mr. Kim, who’s holding a glass of wine in his hand and putting a smile up on his face.

“I’m sorry for interrupting but, may I take Jungwoo with me for a while?” he asked.

“Sure! He’s your son, you don’t have to be that formal,” answered Mr. Wong in seconds.

“Jungwoo, follow me,” demanded Mr. Kim.

Jungwoo nodded before excusing himself from Mr. Wong and walked beside his dad. It was rare for Mr. Kim to interrupt Jungwoo when he was conversing with someone important, except if his reason was more important than that. And of course, it ticked the curiosity inside the young guy’s head but, before he questions anything, Mr. Kim spoke up and answered all of his silent questions.

“There’s someone you need to meet. He is our new stockholder and he is the future CEO of one of the biggest international hotel chains,” said the old man.

  _No wonder you called me then._

Jungwoo nodded as Mr. Kim continued his explanation, which sounded more like a commandment. “He is around your age but he has invested a lot and offered a partnership between our company with his hospitality section,” he said.

“I understand, Dad.”

“You know what to do, right, Jungwoo?”

“Yes, Dad.”

_Of course._

There was no way for Jungwoo to forget something he had been taught for life. The rule that had been carved deep inside his head; smile even though it was fake, answer even though it made up of lie. That was how he survived after all, by killing his own emotions and true self.

“Do _not_ disappoint me,” demanded Mr. Kim, showing his authority as the CEO of Kim Corporation and not as a father.

Jungwoo nodded.  “I will not.”

 


	26. Alter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment Yukhei ended his words, the moment Jungwoo could feel his heart being torn apart. There was pain and bitterness in it, as if Yukhei was blurting out poison instead of words. There were no tears in Yukhei’s eyes, but Jungwoo could feel how broken he was inside. His heart ached. He could feel it. He understood it best.

“Hey, blowjob lips.”

“Fuck you, Johnny. Stop calling me that,” Yukhei groaned as he stirred the drink in his hand.

It was the weekend and Yukhei was at the nightclub with the friend he hadn’t met for long, Johnny. Jungwoo was nowhere to be found since he was staying at Hong Kong for days, and honestly, Yukhei was glad he did not have to meet Jungwoo for a while. It was the first weekend they did not spend together and finally, Yukhei felt the freedom he had craved for long.

No one would nag around him even after he downed several shots of drinks, no one would ask him whether the club really named the drink ‘ _sex on the beach_ ’ or not, and no one would cry beside him, ranting about his life and ended up spending the night with him. _Well,_ to think of it again, it was not as bad as how it was described, but sure enough Yukhei did not want to have a dejavu of some certain moments.

“Are you okay?” asked Johnny after he threw a shot of vodka down his throat.

It was unreal for him to see Yukhei being passive. They had known each other for years, but it was the first time for him to see the younger guy to seem uninterested with _anything_ around him – music, dance floor, and women. The _Lucas_ he knew from a couple of months ago would never reject women who came to him and wanted to get their hands into his pants. But the guy who sat next to him that time had rejected plenty of women who came to him only for his number.

“Yes.” Yukhei nodded. “I’m just not in the mood.”

Even Yukhei himself was surprised. He _should_ be in the mood; this was the freedom he had craved for long after all. He could just step into the dance floor and countless of women would beg to get into his pants. But let alone women or sex, Yukhei was not even interested in getting the alcoholic high nor to gamble with his partner in crime. He felt like something was missing.

“Dude, I flew far from America to Seoul not to see you being like this,” Johnny complained.

“Sorry. All the drinks will be on me tonight, okay?” Yukhei negotiated.

“Great, but you should have some fun too.” Johnny paused. “Did something happen though?”

“Uh…” Yukhei answered, hesitating. “I guess not,” he continued.

“Come on, Lucas, get your ass into the dance floor and get some laid after that. Seeing you like this creeps the hell out of me,” said Johnny as he lightly nudged the latter.

Yukhei rolled his eyes. “Nah, I told you I’m not in the mood. Plus, the last time I fucked someone, it didn’t turn out good so, no thanks, man.”

Johnny gasped right away. As long as he could remember, people were calling Yukhei a _beast_ in the bedroom. Well, not only in the bedroom but he did not want to mention the place one by one. Johnny never tried – he did not even want to – but it was not a secret that Yukhei gave good fuck. Rumor spread fast and some people had testified it, both men and women. That was why, the fact Yukhei was unimpressed with his _bedroom activity_ ticked the curiosity inside his head. Whether it was because of an unskilled partner, or maybe Yukhei had lose his drive, Johnny was still excited to know the story behind.

“Spill the tea, Lucas!”

Yukhei sighed before taking another shot of whiskey in his hand. He did not know where to start, but he did not want to lie either. He trusted his friend, but he did not trust him enough to tell him about the regret he had in the morning after sex.

No, it was not the one with Jungwoo. Neither it was because of his partner nor his drive. He did it with Ten, on the same day he kissed Jungwoo softly in front of the beautiful fish tank. He was confused, his mind was filled with questions he could never answer. He asked himself why would he kiss Jungwoo and the answer was nowhere to be found, so he thought he was just in the heat. It had been a while since he had a good fuck so perhaps he was sexually frustrated.

Yukhei could not forget the look on Jungwoo’s face after the kiss happened; the look of confusion that full of questions. The memory of it kept replaying like a flash card inside his head, and it bugged him to the point he chose to knock on Ten’s apartment door and went home the next morning.

Ten was great like the way he had always been. He fulfilled all of Yukhei’s fantasies and the sex was undoubtedly amazing. He was beautiful and the way he moved could make Yukhei craved for more. But, it was not the sex that turned out to be bad. It was the thought of comparison he had during the sex and the regret he had after that drove him crazy.

Ten was great but the sex he had with Jungwoo was greater. Ten fulfilled his fantasy but Jungwoo surpassed all of his wildest one. The touch Ten gave him was magical, but the one he desired the most was Jungwoo’s. Ten’s kisses were amazing and Yukhei admitted it was one of the best kisses he had ever had. It was messy and sloppy, intoxicating yet addicting – the exact opposite of the one he just had with Jungwoo, which was soft, sweet, and delicate.

Ten could give him a thousand of kisses, but the one he had with Jungwoo worth every single one of them. The realization that it was not because of a mere sexually frustration hit him hard. If it was not like what he had thought before, then… what was it?

“… I don’t know either,” confessed Yukhei after letting silence happened between them.

Johnny was clearly unimpressed by the answer he got. After being left with silence for several minutes, of course he’d hope for a better answer – at least one that could make his jaw drop. Unfortunately, Yukhei did not give him what he wanted and he knew he would never be.

“Okay, okay. If you say so then I won’t ask further.” Johnny sighed.

“I really don’t know either. I feel like some things are going out of places but I don’t know how to fix them,” Yukhei confessed. His eyes were set on the drinks in his hand, but his mind had wondered somewhere else.

A soft sigh left his lips before he continued slowly, “To put it simply… there’s some feelings I shouldn’t feel and things have been changing fast that I couldn’t keep up with every one of them.”

“You know, Lucas, at a time like this you should have just go with the flow,” said Johnny as he poured another shot of alcohol from its bottle to his glass.

He added, “I mean… Why don’t you just accept all those feelings and stop trying to keep up with everything? The fact that things have changed around you means _you_ , yourself, have also changed even if you don’t realize it. If you try to keep up with them, there’s something within you that will follow the change and you have to be ready when it happens.”

Yukhei laughed. “I guess vodka really turns you into a philosopher… but thanks, I’ll try..”

“At least I become smarter when I get high, not like someone who always becomes dumber,” Johnny said while eyeing Yukhei thoroughly.

“As if you have never talked to your reflection on the bar’s mirror and saying dumb things like how handsome you are or how big your dick is,” said Yukhei, exposing his friend in front of the bartender. “Do you know that they have the same answer? Neither of them were could be seen,” he added mockingly before ending it with a furious laugh, as if it was his last day on earth.

Johnny’s face turned red, both from the alcohol and from the embarrassment he got from his friend. His vision had started to become blurry but he could still hear the bartender’s chuckle clearly, making his eyebrows knitted and his lips curled to a frown. Clear enough that Johnny was not amused by how Yukhei exposed him shamefully like that but, fortunately, the last brain cell he had was still there to counter attack his friend.

“You… don’t you forget when we were in Vegas…”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, not that one, douche.”

“A hot babe gave her room card t’you but you… you accidentally flush it in the toilet and...  you yelled at the toilet bowl till the s’curity kicked you out of the club.”

“The fuck, Johnny. I’ve never seen that girl again after that.”

“There’s another one, y’know? Where you yelled so loud, saying that… you will be a CEO of a large corporation one day…”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow. Did that really happen? As long as he could remember, he would never had done that, except if he fucked up and spilled everything foolishly. Yukhei had never told anyone in the club about the company, not even to Johnny. Talking about the company to strangers meant taking risk and huge responsibility – you would never know when people came to you just for their own advantage.

“What are you talking about?” Yukhei questioned.

“Yeah, I know you are rich but… you? A CEO? You will meet bankruptcy since day one, Luke.”

Yukhei frowned, completely despising the other guy’s response. He knew Johnny was drunk and he understood how a drunk person would speak rubbish, but the mockery he just had went straight into his heart. He had experienced it a lot of times; getting judged and being doubted, but never once had they failed to torn his heart apart.

“Shut up, you don’t know anything,” he said expressionless.

“Hey, hey, hey, are you mad? Dude, I was just joking.” Johnny laughed while pointing his glass at Yukhei, too drunk to notice the gloom around the younger.

“...I’m going home first. The bill is on me,” said Yukhei before he stood up from the bar stools and walked toward the exit, leaving Johnny among the crowds.

He could hear Johnny calling his name before it was muffled by the loud music and people’s voices. But Yukhei did not bother to turn back, he just wanted to go home – or maybe to the hotel instead because he did not want to go back to Jungwoo’s… alone.

It was the first weekend he had without Jungwoo since several months had passed. At first he thought it would be the best night ever since he had to do all the things he wanted, yet at the end of the day all he could get was disappointment and nothing else. He thought it would be amazing, but what he experienced was the exact opposite. It was one of the worst weekends he had ever had, and he realized that something _really_ was missing.

It might be the fun he had with Jungwoo, or maybe it might be the person itself.

* * *

Jungwoo had been acting weird and Yukhei had eyes to notice it.

More than a week had passed since they spent the weekends each by their own. Surprisingly, Yukhei was not the one who had the worse weekend as Jungwoo had one as well. But, only Jungwoo who showed how bad it was through the mood swings he had for the whole week. Was it because of his parents? Was it because of the stocks? Yukhei was curious but he knew he should keep his curiosity alone.

Jungwoo spaced out a lot, even when they had their study session routine – which never had happened before. It happened more than once or twice; Yukhei calling Jungwoo by name but Jungwoo did not even flinch, as if his mind were somewhere lost in the black hole and almost never coming back. His eyes were set on the book but Yukhei knew his mind was not there. His fingers kept flipping the pages as if he was reading it but, the fact that the book was upside down made him look like a fool instead.

Worrying was too much. They were not close enough for Yukhei to worry about Jungwoo but, seeing Jungwoo like that clearly made Yukhei feel uneasy. They were _friends_ – at least there were no argument within the past week – but the word itself had never slipped out of their tongue. It had never been written or spoken anywhere, but they knew the tension between them had almost been cleared. But _still_ , worrying was too much and Yukhei knew he should not be. And it applied to his new friend too.

It was almost six and normally it was the time for Jungwoo to end the study session and get back to his room. But there he was, still sitting in front of Yukhei and _reading_ the same book back and forth, upside down. A moment ago, Yukhei decided that he should not be worried at Jungwoo, but after seeing him like this for almost the whole day, Yukhei could not help but to worry.

“Jungwoo,” he called out.

No answer.

“Jungwoo,” he called out again, louder.

No answer.

Yukhei frowned. There really was something weird going on with Jungwoo and it was hard not to notice that. He lifted his finger and flicked Jungwoo’s forehead, hard enough for the sound to be echoed inside the room. Jungwoo immediately brought back to life as he winced in pain and glared at Yukhei, who acted unbothered.

“You okay?” asked the younger.

“No! Why did you do that? It hurts,” Jungwoo groaned as he shoved Yukhei’s finger off his face. He complained, “get your finger somewhere else away from my forehead.”

“Like in your ass?” Yukhei answered in a second before regretting it. He was with Jungwoo; he should not throw a dirty joke he usually threw at his other friends.

“W-what?” Jungwoo coughed.  

“Nothing,” said the younger immediately before repeating the first question, preventing the situation to get worsened. He asked, “Are you okay? You spaced out a lot.”

“Oh…” Jungwoo looked downwards. “Yes, I am okay,” he said.

“Did something happen during the meeting?”

Yukhei knew he should not ask. He knew best he should keep his curiosity alone, but it was a few hours ago before he realized that he _had_ to ask. He remembered that the meeting was held in Hong Kong, which meant his father would be presented. And it was enough reason for Yukhei to canceled his decision and threw a question instead.

Jungwoo did not answer immediately, as if he was hesitating on something and he did not want Yukhei to know about it. After letting the room to breathe in full silence, Jungwoo parted his lips and spoke up, “The stocks are not being stable lately so I’ve been thinking of a way to-”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” said the latter, cutting Jungwoo’s sentence off in the middle.

He knew there was something more than just stocks. Something that Jungwoo tried to hid no matter what behind his lie. Yukhei could not figure out what it was, but truth to be said, he was disappointed by how Jungwoo lied even after he knew how Yukhei hated liar and how they had fixed their relationship. It was like Jungwoo was trying to make a crack between them again.

“Stop lying,” he added in a demanding voice, sending shiver down Jungwoo’s spine before he pouted.

“Why are you suddenly curious about that? Moreover, you accused me of lying to you.”

“But you did,” Yukhei sighed before he continued, “you have been acting weird for the whole week and you expect me not to ask you _anything_?”

“I can’t tell you everything just because we have apologized to each other a few weeks ago, Yukhei. We are not even that close,” Jungwoo said, defending himself.

“If you can’t tell me _everything_ then why don’t you just tell me about something I have the right to know? Did my dad ask you anything that made you feel bad for telling me about it?”

Jungwoo flinched at the sudden question, not seeing it coming at all. It was never his intention to make the situation between him and Yukhei tense again. If he had to choose, he would rather not than taking their relationship back to several months ago. He thought they would be fine as friends _,_ but after all, Jungwoo was still a liar and Yukhei had always hated liars.

“...he did,” Jungwoo confessed, worried that Yukhei might chop him off if he made up another lie.

Jungwoo did not want to be the snake who worsened the father-son relationship between Yukhei and his dad. One wrong word and he could break someone else’s family apart. So he had no other option than choosing his words right. He said, “He looked upset because you didn’t go to the meeting.”

“Bullshit, he doesn’t even want to meet me,” said Yukhei without hesitation.

“He realized he has been too busy with work so he couldn’t raise you well.”

“He really did say that?”

Jungwoo nodded. “He did.”

“Did he say something about my grades?”

“What? How did you guess that?” Jungwoo widened his eyes before continuing his words in mumble, “Well… He did ask if you… bribe the university…”

Yukhei sighed loudly. Of course he did, there was no way he would not guess that after Mr.Wong asked him through a text if he bribe the university to get the grades. Yukhei did not tell anyone, or to be precise, he would never let anyone know about it. But, he also had seen it coming; Mr. Wong asked Jungwoo the same thing since he trusted him more than his own son.

“How did you answer that?” he asked bitterly.

Only he himself and Jungwoo knew how hard he had worked for the exams. And the fact his dad did not acknowledge it and accused him dirty like that torn his heart apart. The thought of his dad valued him so lowly caused a twist inside his stomach. It felt like no matter what he did, it was always so wrong in his father’s eyes.

Jungwoo did not answer right away and Yukhei had prepared for the worse. Knowing Jungwoo, even after they had been friends, there was no way Jungwoo would talk back at Mr. Wong – or at least it was what he thought until Jungwoo told him the truth.

“I told Mr. Wong to have more trust in you,” confessed the older guy.

“I kno- wait, what?”

“I thought he had crossed the line so I told him to have more trust in you.”

“Stop lying.” Yukhei frowned in disbelief.

“I’m not lying, you piñata head. I was surprised too. I thought I would be thrown out of the building because of what I said but I just couldn’t stand his accusation at you.”

“Yes that’s why I told you to stop lying. There’s no way you would take such risk.”

“I said, I. Am. Not. Lying. You have worked so hard and the last thing you deserve is to be treated like that,” Jungwoo stated before he stared right into Yukhei’s eyes, trying to make him believe that what he said was true.

Jungwoo was not surprised Yukhei could not trust a liar like him easily but, the fact that Yukhei could not trust him at _all_ began to make him feel annoyed. No words were spoken as Yukhei stared back at Jungwoo, long enough to find the truth in his eyes.

“But why?” he asked, silently touched by what Jungwoo did for him.

“He was so harsh at you and he accused you so lowly without knowing anything.”

“Were you surprised by his real attitude?”

“I was, but he’s your dad so no wonder the two of you have ugly personalities.”

“Do you want me to pass the message?”

“No, I was joking!” Jungwoo shouted panicky.

“You better be,” said Yukhei with a sly grin on his face.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes before he cleared his throat and confessed, “To answer you honestly… I was. I mean, I kind of figure out that you don’t have a good relationship with him, but I was still surprised he would do something like that to you.”

“You figure it out right. We don’t like each other and it worsened after several things happened in the past,” he confirmed.

“Is that the reason why you acted against him?” Jungwoo questioned again before he realized he might have crossed the line. “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to. Sorry for asking too much,” he added right away, as if he was canceling the previous question.

“No, it’s fine,” Yukhei answered. “Rebellion was the only thing that keep me sane, even though he called me insane because of that. He did not know that the thing that would make me insane was staying home alone and being told a mistake. He never loved me. He never wanted me.”

The moment Yukhei ended his words, the moment Jungwoo could feel his heart being torn apart. There was pain and bitterness in it, as if Yukhei was blurting out poison instead of words. There were no tears in Yukhei’s eyes, but Jungwoo could feel how broken he was inside. His heart ached. He could feel it. He understood it best.

“You know,” Jungwoo sighed. “I don’t think my dad love me either.”

“What do you mean? Your dad always brags you out there. He loves you and he’s proud of you.”

“He only sees me as a business tool, someone he can control so his company will be safe in the future. I’m not good at socializing and it was worse when I was younger so, bragging was one of the ways for him to make his business partners and stockholders trusted me.”

“You are scared of him, aren’t you?”

“I am.” Jungwoo smiled bitterly. “I’m scared of him and his authority.”

“Actually, who wouldn’t? But you are his son, you shouldn’t be scared of him,” Yukhei affirmed.

Jungwoo nodded silently, not knowing what to answer. Yukhei stated the truth and it totally made sense. Jungwoo should had no reason to be scared, but it was easier to be said than done. Jungwoo was _his_ son and it was the reason he was scared; seeing how his dad could control everything with money and authority.

It happened more than once or twice, perhaps it had happened for a countless time to the extent it frightened him. The old man said it was only for business and it was how the world worked, and Jungwoo knew he was not fully wrong. He understood that his father was a public figure and his name was on the line, but the way he used money to clean his name and minimized any mistakes to zero was horrifying; it always blurred the lines between truth or lies, real or fake.

“...I was bullied when I was nine,” Jungwoo confessed as he resisted any eye contact with the latter.

Yukhei was surprised with the sudden confession, but Jungwoo himself was surprised as well. He could feel his heart raced fast as he started to pick his nails again. He was full of hesitation as it was one of the traumatic events in his life and only Doyoung knew about it. He wondered if he could trust Yukhei enough to tell him about his past. His head gave him the red light but his heart gave him otherwise, as if it was telling him that Yukhei would understand him better than anyone else.

“It happened at school and it was because of my appearance and poor social skills,” he said, deciding to follow his heart. “I was bad at P.E, I was the weakest boy in the class, and I don’t have any friends. At first I endured everything even though it was hard. But one day, one of the biggest guy punched me in the face and it became a serious problem at school.

“Can you guess what my father did back then? He paid the big guy’s parents so they could move him to another school and since then I never saw him again. I also still remember how the principal begged my dad’s forgiveness so he wouldn’t stop his donation,” he recalled.

The image was still clear inside his mind, as if it was only happened the day before. He was sitting next to his dad, who crossed his legs, full of pride. In front of him was the principal, the person he respected the most at school, kneeling and asking for forgiveness.

Jungwoo was sure the principal would hate him after, and he was right. He could not forget how she treated him like a prince until he graduated, but once he enrolled into another school, she acted like they never know each other. Soon he knew it was only because of the donation and nothing more.

“The next day, everyone acted like nothing happen and treated me so well. Like I’ve never been bullied, I’ve never been in pain, I’ve never been isolated. The teachers treated me differently and I didn’t have to take P.E again but they gave me A on the report card,” he said, unfolding his past slowly.

“Didn’t he do that because he loved you?”

“I thought the same at first. But once we got home, he scolded me and told me he was… ashamed… because I was so weak and pathetic,” he divulged as the painful memories played inside his brain. His throat dried and his eyes stung. He thought he had buried the memories deep enough for him to remember, but he was wrong. The pain was still there and it never went anywhere.

He continued, “I was nine but I have to witness how people could change their attitude just because I was the son of a VIP. It was scary to see how authority and money could change everything, include people’s behaviors.”

Yukhei nodded. “I know.”

“I can’t really trust anyone after that.”

“Once money was on the line, you can trust no one. That’s how fucked up the world is,” said Yukhei bitterly as tense air hung around them, filling the room with distress.

“Talking about money,” Jungwoo spoke up, trying to change the subject and lightened up the mood. “Mr. Wong thought you have bribed me or something but I told him you didn’t. I told him you could be trusted regardless your weird behaviors.”

Yukhei narrowed his eyes, annoyed. “I don’t know if I should be happy or offended here.”

“Offended,” Jungwoo answered sarcastically.

“Only if he knows who’s the bad guy _here_.”

“I’m not a bad guy,” Jungwoo groaned, feeling offended by how Yukhei put pressure on his words.

“I didn’t say it’s _you_ but if you are offended then it means you acknowledge that.”

“S-shut up okay,” Jungwoo stuttered, giving Yukhei an immediate victory.

Yukhei laughed, feeling satisfied with how he cornered Jungwoo and turned him into a mess. In fact, he was glad the tense air began to fade away. It was suffocating and he did not want it to happen any longer. It was not that he hated having serious conversation with Jungwoo, he was only afraid to know where the flow would take him to.

The more he knew Jungwoo, and the more he let Jungwoo get into his life, the more he wondered if it could be the way for his heart to be healed one day. It came to his realization that slowly, both of their life were began to unfold; several truths had been told and more pain were waiting to be revealed. He did not know if it was a good thing or not, but as what Johnny had told him before, he had to be ready when the change happened.

“Did you regret being honest?” he asked.

“I didn’t,” Jungwoo answered as a smile played upon his lips, feeling proud of his honesty. “Let’s just hope my dad won’t find out about it.”

“It would be fun to see you got thrown away from the house because of me, honestly.”

“Thank you, suddenly I regret defending you.” Jungwoo scoffed as he rolled his eyes in annoyance and pouted.

Yukhei could not stop his laugh after feeling so satisfied to see Jungwoo getting cornered, _again_. It had been a while since he let out such laugh and he had no regret to letting it out in front of Jungwoo. He could see the pout on Jungwoo’s face slowly cracked into a smile, and Yukhei could not help but to turn his laugh into one as well.

“Thank you, Jungwoo. Means a lot,” he said.

“No problem,” Jungwoo answered. “I was just tired of pretending and I felt bad because your dad treated you like that. It was the first truth I said that day and you should be grateful.”

“Come on, egghead, I have said thanks. Don’t make me say it twice.” Yukhei rolled his eyes and Jungwoo replied with a soft chuckle.

“You know, he had _this_ expression when I talked back at him,” said Jungwoo as he knitted his eyebrows together and curled his lips into a frown.

“Fuck, I can imagine that so well. I hope I won’t get a nightmare tonight.”

“You don’t have to roast him like that.”

Yukhei shrugged. “He roasted me first so he deserves.”

Jungwoo laughed out loud, was not expecting Yukhei to answer him like that. Yukhei had always been an annoying person, but it was the first time for Jungwoo to support him being annoying. He agreed with him though, Mr. Wong deserved the roast.

“It feels unreal for us to have such conversation,” he said after his laugh stopped.

“It had happened a few times before but I guess your airhead doesn’t remember them.”

“Excuse me? I remember them _all_ ,” Jungwoo protested, feeling offended by how Yukhei mocked him.

A sly grin grew across Yukhei’s cheek before he asked another question, bringing the subject back to square one again. “That’s all?”

Jungwoo nodded. “That’s all I can tell,” he stated honestly.

Yukhei knew it was only a part of the full story but he knew he had to stop before he ruined everything and they got back to square one again. He said, “Okay. I won’t ask anymore then.”

“You seem really uneasy about it.” Jungwoo chuckled before he questioned jokingly. “Are you worried about me?”

“...I am.”

Jungwoo blinked at the sudden honesty Yukhei told him. It was unexpected; just like the way it had always been with Yukhei. He was full of surprise and truth to be told, the sudden honesty made Jungwoo’s heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you, I guess.” Jungwoo chuckled before they heard a knock on the door, which initiating Jungwoo to stand up and opened it to find his butler outside.

“Good evening, Young Masters. I apologize for interrupting but there is a guest waiting for Young Master Jungwoo downstairs,” addressed the butler politely.

“A guest?” Jungwoo asked curiously. It was rare for him to have a guest, especially at such time.

“Yes, Young Master. He said he has something important to say.”

“Did you ask for his name?”

The butler nodded. “Yes, Young Master. His name is Jung Jaehyun.”

The moment the name was revealed, Yukhei swore he could see the expression on Jungwoo’s face turned bad. He looked pale and his lips were shaking, as if he had just heard a bad news. Yukhei tried to recall his memory if he had heard the name before, but unfortunately, no single trace of it could be found. There was something inside him saying he had heard it before, but perhaps it had mixed with alcohol and thrown away without warning.

“C-can you tell him that I’m busy right now…?”

“Mr. Jaehyun said he would wait until you come downstairs and meet him,” answered the butler.

Jungwoo gulped. Jaehyun was there. The same Jaehyun who broke his heart years ago and left him like shit was there, and he had to meet him. He should have expected Jaehyun to come to his house, but never once had he thought that it would happen this soon. Sure enough Jaehyun knew that Jungwoo would avoid him at all costs, but he also knew how to play the game right and Jungwoo had no other choice but to do what he wanted.

Who would have guessed that the young, important stockholder who had invested a lot in the company and praised by Mr. Kim was no other than Jung Jaehyun himself? Even Jungwoo had never seen it coming. The milk had been spilt and the poor guy had promised his dad that he would _never_ disappoint him. There was no use crying over it, right?

“You okay? You look pale,” asked Yukhei.

“Y-yes, I do. It was just an investor… right, an investor.”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow before throwing another question, “Do you want me to go with you?”

“What? N-no. It’s fine.” Jungwoo shook his head. “I… I’m going down for a bit,” he said as he followed the butler and closed the door behind, leaving Yukhei alone inside the room.

Yukhei blinked. Everything _really_ happened too fast and no matter how smart he was, he could not be in the same pace as them. Just a moment ago he was having a serious conversation with Jungwoo and then, by the next second, he could see the fear in Jungwoo’s eyes.

It was not the same fear he had when he faced his father, nor it was the fear he had when he went into the haunted house. There was pain in it and Yukhei could not help but to have a bad feeling about it. Normally, he would have speculated something and made a guess about the situation, but now he was stuck. They used to be enemies and no matter how long they had lived together under the same roof, Yukhei came to the realization that there was still so much thing he did not know about Jungwoo, let alone his past.

He had guessed about a lot of things and most of the time, he was right. The lies Jungwoo told, the truth behind that, the understanding between them, and the pain caused by their families. Yukhei knew it all but not once had he thought that they were only the small parts of the whole story.

Yukhei was lost in his own thought as seconds changed to minutes, and minutes changed to hours. Jungwoo was not there, even after he said he was going down for a _bit._ Yukhei could just get out of the room and took a peek, or he could just walk downstairs and acted like nothing happened. But he chose to wait instead. Little did he know that it would only turn out to be another lie.

There was no a _bit_.

Jungwoo never came back.


	27. Square One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo was afraid that his nightmare might come to life.

Jungwoo was sixteen.

He just got into high school and he noticed that Doyoung had a new best friend named Jaehyun. He was amazed by how handsome Jaehyun was and how he looked like a prince from a storybook. He still remembered when he got the courage to approach Jaehyun and they exchanged number – he felt like he was the happiest person alive.

Unfortunately, the happiness he had could not last long. Jaehyun made him feel loved by giving him hope and expectation. Little did he know that everything was fake and he should never expect anything. What suck the most was the fact that he knew Jaehyun loved someone else and he had no right to be jealous even though they were in a so-called-relationship. Jaehyun had warned him from the beginning after all, but Jungwoo had fallen too deep to think of the worst case scenario.

Jungwoo still remembered everything clearly no matter how hard he attempted to forget. It happened during winter holiday; months after the relationship started. Jungwoo was anxious about how Jaehyun felt toward him. A little part of his heart encouraged him since Jaehyun had showered him with love and affection. But, it was impossible to be optimistic all the time when he knew Jaehyun’s heart always belonged to someone else.

Jungwoo was afraid.

The thought of Jaehyun leaving him had always been his biggest nightmare. He had been left once by his own parents, and he knew everyone would leave him eventually. Doyoung and Jaehyun were the only ones he could trust, so the thought of abandonment and betrayal horrified him the most.

He could feel a twist inside his stomach every time he had such thought. His tongue felt bitter, his head hurt. He could not help but to feel nauseous and lose his appetite. He felt worthless, even though it was nothing but mere speculation. He cried all night when Jaehyun was not by his side, his heart beat fast when Jaehyun did not answer his call. Jungwoo was smart enough to know that his love had turned to obsession, but not once had he wanted to acknowledge it.

The time he spent with Jaehyun was the time he felt alive again. Jungwoo was raised to be an independent young man. ‘Not relying on anybody but himself’ was a mandatory that had been engraved in his head. So the fact he could rely on Jaehyun made him feel at ease. Jaehyun accepted him and gave him the chance to think that he would find the love he had lost, the color he had forgot, and the freedom he never had but, he was wrong.

His nightmare came to life.

It was Saturday morning and Jungwoo was excited to go on another date with Jaehyun. He picked his best outfit, used his favorite perfume, and was ready to go until he received a text from the person he loved the most. His eyes lit up the moment he saw Jaehyun’s name on the screen, but it faded right away as soon as he read the text.

A short _‘I’m sorry. I was wrong’_ and that was it. His mind went blank and his brain could not process what just happened. He pressed the call button but Jaehyun never answered. He ran to his car and drove to Jaehyun’s place but Jaehyun never showed up. He wanted to throw up, his eyes stung. He could not breath as if the air around him was suffocating him. He called Jaehyun’s name again and again, begging him not to leave but he realized there was no hope anymore.

It truly was his biggest mistake to live inside the fantasy where Jaehyun became the heart of it. Once it stopped beating, everything would fall apart. Expectation hurt but he never knew it could be _that_ hurt. He did not want to go home – especially to the room that was filled with their memories. Every moment he spent with Jaehyun came to his mind like flash cards.

He remembered when Jaehyun called his name softly and asked for a hug. He remembered when Jaehyun sat on his bed and Jungwoo was on his lap, staring into each other’s eyes before their lips met in a kiss. He remembered when Jaehyun agreed on staying the night after Jungwoo told him not to go home. Jaehyun was his everything and the moment he realized Jaehyun had left him, his world fell apart to nothing.

The first few months after breaking up was truly the hardest. Jungwoo broke down in tears every night. He could not sleep, he could not concentrate on his task, he felt empty. Whenever he closed his eyes, Jaehyun was there within the darkness, slowly leaving him without a proper goodbye. He opened his eyes, and he realized he was still inside his room, laying on his bed, crying. Call it exaggerating, but Jungwoo had fallen too deep for Jung Jaehyun.

He still tried to contact Jaehyun but he never succeeded, as if everything was only a dream and delusion. Jaehyun disappeared from his life at the moment the text was sent, which ironically was the only thing that remind him that everything was real. Maybe Jungwoo would feel better if Jaehyun left him properly, but to think of it again, whichever it was, he would still feel worthless at the end.

The following months after, Jungwoo learned to be stronger – or at least, he pretended to be strong. It was still difficult for Jungwoo to get back to his routine without Jaehyun; no weekend date, no secret made out, no scent of Jaehyun in his room anymore. But, the fact his grades dropped badly was a wakeup call for him, and he knew he could not disappoint his father any further.

Of course Mr. Kim knew nothing about the heartbreak, and even though he knew, it was not an exception for Jungwoo to let his guard down. His heart was in pain and the world he built for him and Jaehyun had crumbled down into pieces, leaving him with no choice but to go back to the monochromatic world he left when Jaehyun came into his life. He was in agony but he had to be strong, or else he would have everything else slipped through his fingers.

A few years passed by and Jungwoo drowned himself in books and education, distracting his mind from reality and the negativity within. He passionately learned about stock and was praised several times for his outstanding achievement as the promising future CEO. He achieved everything he wanted and his father was more than proud of him, regardless the fact that he had neglected his son’s feelings only to turn him into a fake perfection.

Jungwoo got everything in his hands and satisfaction filled his mind. His heart grew colder; his lies were always known as truth. Last year he found out that Jaehyun had been trying to contact him again, but it turned to be an immediate block. He was strong enough to do that and he was proud of himself. He did not want to associate with him nor the pain he had made, so he tried to buried them until he could not feel the pain anymore. Neither his pain nor memories were needed for him to reach his goals.

Jungwoo stood proudly on the top, fame on his right side and money on his left. He was respected and embodied as perfection.  He was out of everyone’s grasp, and he thought he was out of his past as well. But it was not true, not even in the slightest. And it was proved at the moment he saw Jung Jaehyun standing in front of his eyes again, clothed nicely in a designer suit that matched his black hair perfectly.

The day he met Jaehyun at the meeting gave him surprise – not in a good way, but instead the otherwise. Jaehyun had been gone from his life for years, to the point where Jungwoo decided to move on and let it go. The last time they exchanged words was four years ago before their break-up and he thought it would be the last time for it to happen but, he was wrong.

Who would’ve guessed that they would meet again in a business events? Maybe Jaehyun had, but not once had it crossed Jungwoo’s mind. It haunted him for a whole week as the painful memories were beginning to creep him out again. Uneasiness quickly filled both his mind and heart, resulting in his strange behavior for the past few weeks.

He told Yukhei about Mr. Wong, but it was only a small part of the whole story. The reason of his uneasiness was not because of the stock, neither it was because of Mr. Wong. Indeed, he felt bad about Yukhei, but the thing that had always been inside his mind was his meeting with Jaehyun. And now that Jaehyun was inside his house like the way he used to do four years ago, Jungwoo was afraid that the wall he had built to protect his heart would begin to fall down.

Jaehyun used to be the high school sweetheart – everybody loved and adored him. He was sweet and kind, tall and handsome, truly an interpretation of everybody’s first love. But, the person who stood in front of Jungwoo was like another person. He was still tall and handsome, but his presence was way more intimidating.

He was full of pride and dominance; he was not the same high school sweetheart nor everybody’s first love anymore. He had become a man who could get everything he wanted by luring his treats to fall into temptation. Jungwoo wished that he was not one of them, but he knew he might be the best treat to be served. And it showed at the moment Jaehyun’s eyes met his, followed by a smile that grew across his cheeks.

“How are you today, Jungwoo?” he asked.

“Bad,” Jungwoo answered right away. “How are you today, Jaehyun- _ssi_?”

“You know you can call me Jae like before.”

“Why are you here, Jaehyun- _ssi_?” Jungwoo questioned, pretending not to hear what Jaehyun said.

“I want to take you on a dinner.”

“No, thank you, I’m full.”

“You know we can talk about the past,”

“No, we don’t.”

“I’m trying to fix things, Jungwoo.”

“What are you talking about? We are business partners. Nothing more,” Jungwoo stated, pretending to be as calm as he could.

“I thought your father would be glad if _we_ become closer?” Jaehyun said as he walked closer toward Jungwoo, who immediately took a step backward.

Jungwoo frowned, clearly showing distaste all over his face. He said, “Now you’re trying to bring him into this? What’s your plan?”

“We have a lot of things to talk about, Jungwoo.”

“No, we have nothing to talk about.” Jungwoo cleared his throat. “Go home. Please.”

“Jungwoo, I’m sorry. I was wrong,” said Jaehyun, followed by a long sigh that slipped through Jungwoo’s lips.

“That was exactly what you said in your last text when you left me,” replied Jungwoo bitterly.

Jaehyun was slightly taken aback by what the younger guy said as he replied with nothing, confronting Jungwoo to speak up again, “Do you know how hurt I was back then? You don’t have the right to come back after you left me like that.”

“Let’s talk about it first, okay?”

“Are you deaf? I told you there’s nothing to talk about,” Jungwoo said in annoyance as his tone became slightly higher than before.

“You don’t have to be so rude to me, Jungwoo,” said the latter, which completely made Jungwoo lose his composure.

Jungwoo braved himself to take a step closer to Jaehyun, trying to intimidate the others – which he failed miserably as Jaehyun showed no reaction – not even a flinch. Jungwoo groaned in the back of his mind, wondering why he could not intimidate anyone. Nevertheless, Jungwoo did not back away as he glared at Jaehyun, showing him the pain in his eyes.

He asked sorely, “You treated me like nothing so why should I have to treat you better?”

“Because I’m a major investor, I guess?” replied Jaehyun.

Jungwoo widened his eyes after hearing such statement. _This_. He should have known that _this_ would happen; Jaehyun using his authority to get what he wanted. “You are such a snake, aren’t you?” he said scornfully.

“I’m not. Shouldn’t you be happy instead? I get to talk to you and you get a new investor. Mutualism,” Jaehyun concluded, which made Jungwoo blinked in disbelief, silently cursing in the back of his mind.

_Asshole._

“Listen, okay, I get it that you invested a lot in my dad’s company but _this_ and _that_ are another matter. _This_ doesn’t make me happy. I don’t want to talk to you anymore, Jaehyun-ssi,” Jungwoo explained.

“Are you afraid to do that?” Jaehyun asked as he noticed that the younger guy started to pick his nails out of habit, implying the uneasiness he felt at the moment.

Four years might have passed by, but there was no way for Jaehyun to forget Jungwoo’s habit whenever he felt nervous or anxious. Jungwoo did that a lot when they were together. Whether it was because he was nervous to have Jaehyun with him, or because he was anxious that Jaehyun might leave him any time – which happened almost all the time.

Jungwoo furrowed his eyebrows. “What? I’m not afraid.”

“Afraid that I might change your mind?” Jaehyun asked again, not believing his words.

“I said I’m not afraid,” he insisted.

“Then, why don’t you give me a chance to talk to you again?” Jaehyun asked while tilting his head.

Jungwoo crossed his arms over his chest, thinking. He knew there would be no end to this. Jaehyun was being stubborn and he would not give up until he got what he wanted. Jungwoo felt horrible. He did not want to associate with Jaehyun anymore, and even though he had to, it was only for professionalism – because he was forced to do so.

But perhaps, even though Jungwoo was full of denial, he knew Jaehyun was not completely wrong either. Jaehyun used to be the person closest to his heart. He had a big influence on Jungwoo’s life and it was proved by how broken Jungwoo was once he had to let Jaehyun go.

Jaehyun had changed his life twice; at the moment he came in, and the moment he walked away. Truth to be told, Jungwoo was afraid same thing would happen again once he let his guard down. And that was why he did not want to talk to Jaehyun; he was afraid that he would let Jaehyun to come back into his life and changed it all over again.

It was a mistake and he did not want to repeat it. He used to be a pathetic fool and sure enough he did not want to be one again. But, the circumstances were different and Jungwoo’s mind was full of conflict between his ego and logic.

Four years ago, Jungwoo was only sixteen and the damaged he had was his heart being broken. Jaehyun used to have no effect on his family matter nor his company. But now it was different as Jaehyun had become one of the major stockholders of Kim Corporation, which meant more damage would take place once he refused what Jaehyun wanted.

Furthermore, the way Jaehyun mentioned Mr. Kim and his authority as an investor might be a proof that he could not be trusted as a professional. Jungwoo knew this time his feelings would not be the only thing to be on the line. The company, the stock, and his name in the family registry would be too, and he realized it was not the right time to let his ego taking over his logic.

There were only two choices and both were stupid. Neither he had to sacrifice his feelings or the company. But to think of it again, since when Jungwoo had the blessing to make an option in his life? He was left with no choice and of course the thing he would sacrifice was his feelings. _Again._

“I will listen to you this time. Only _this_ time,” he said dejectedly.

“Great. Then, change your outfit and let’s talk outside,” he suggested. “or maybe we can talk upstairs?”

Jungwoo raised an eyebrow but, before he had the chance to ask nor say anything, Jaehyun took the hint that the latter was confused. He asked again, “Are you sure you want to talk about this _here_?”

Jungwoo’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as soon as he put two and two together. He looked around, wondering if there might be a house staffs near them. Fortunately, there was no one, but Jungwoo couldn’t help but to blame himself for not being aware of his surrounding as he was too focused on Jaehyun and his own thoughts.

Honestly, at first Jungwoo was unsure of which one was worse: going out with Jaehyun or letting him get inside of his room. Both were worse but the first one was better. The thought of Jaehyun being inside his room again made him uncomfortable Not because he was afraid of Jaehyun doing anything to him, but instead he was afraid that the memories of them together would come back again – which probably already did.

His room used to be his favorite place with Jaehyun, since it was only for the two of them – even though Jungwoo knew Jaehyun had someone else on his mind. But at least Jungwoo could have Jaehyun with him for the whole night, without worrying him meeting his crush or leaving him without any trace.

He loved it when Jaehyun laid on his bed, slowly pulling him into his embrace. He loved it when he could smell Jaehyun’s perfume on his pillow, as if they were still together. He loved it when he woke up and he saw Jaehyun sleeping peacefully next to him. He felt safe, he was happy, but they were all happened in the past. They were nothing now.

“I need to change clothes first,” said Jungwoo.

“I’ll be waiting,” Jaehyun replied with a smile before Jungwoo rolled his eyes and walked upstairs, leaving him alone at the living room.

* * *

The road to the luxurious restaurant that Jaehyun claimed as one of his felt awfully long. It was not because the seat was uncomfortable – there was no way he would feel so inside a new Maybach 57s. The journey was only 15 minutes yet it felt like an hour, and Jungwoo just wanted to go home. Unfortunately, he could not – especially when he knew Jaehyun had the power to destroy everything he had.

“So,” Jaehyun said, starting a new conversation as they got into the VIP room and he told the waiter to leave them alone. He asked, “How have you been, Jungwoo?”

“Everything was pretty good until I have to meet you again,” Jungwoo answered scornfully. Well, it was disaster during the first few months he spent with Yukhei but, things had been going quite well lately and there was no reason for Jaehyun to know that.

“That was mean,” Jaehyun said. “I never thought you would say something like that to me.”

“People change, Jaehyun- _ssi_ ,” Jungwoo breathed out. “You have changed too… for worse,” he continued with a lower voice, almost inaudible.

“We only met twice and you said I’ve changed for worse. You judge me way too early.”

“I will be blunt about this. Why did you suddenly come back after all this time?”

“I didn’t. I’ve tried to contact you since last year, but you blocked me.”

“You blocked me first if you don’t remember,” said Jungwoo bitterly.

“I’m sorry about that. I know I was a jerk.”

“So you tried to talk to me again through business way? _Really_?”

“You avoided me all the time, Jungwoo. I could come to your house sooner but I know you would avoid me right away. I even asked Doyoung to convince you to meet me but it never worked. That’s why the only option left was through investment and business. I know you wouldn’t avoid me this way,” he explained.

“Don’t drag anyone into this plea- wait,” Jungwoo said before something clicked inside his brain, trying to connect the line between the dots. He frowned, “what?”

Jaehyun shrugged, followed by a long sigh that left Jungwoo’s lips. Suddenly it made sense why Doyoung asked him several times about Jaehyun. He always remembered how Doyoung punched Jaehyun right in the face but, he forgot the fact that before shit happened, they were best friends. _Fuck_ , he definitely would have a long ass talk with Doyoung after this.

“Why are you trying so hard? You know you have lost me, don’t you?” asked Jungwoo.

“I do. But I’m trying to get you back.”

Jungwoo rubbed his temples in frustration. “What happened to Taeyong?”

“We broke up. At the end I realized that you made me happier. I keep comparing him with you and I know I have fell for you.”

“Bullshit. If you really have fell for _me_ , you wouldn’t leave me.”

“It was too late when I realized my feelings.”

Jungwoo laughed bitterly, fed up with all the excuses Jaehyun’s spat out. "You said you love me, but then you kept calling his name while you were asleep."

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"You did imagine myself as Taeyong when you slept with me, didn't you? That's why when you were asleep you called his name,” said Jungwoo bluntly.

“What? I–”

“I know you didn’t do it on purpose and I might sound like a petty person right now, but you told me you love _me_ before you fell asleep. You said _my_ name, but the one on your mind was not _me_. Not Jungwoo but Taeyong. Can you imagine how hurt I was back then?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” Jaehyun apologized.

It was clearly shown that Jungwoo was not pleased with the current situation. He tried his best not to let past memories completely took over his emotions. He hated the way his brain recalled old memories, he hated how he could remember Jaehyun’s voice when he called Taeyong’s name in his sleep. He could remember it clearly as if it happened the day before – it kept haunting him for years. But, what he hated the most was how he sulked over it even though he knew Jaehyun did not do that on purpose. It was his unconscious mind but it still hurt, and it hurt him more since it happened after Jaehyun embraced him and said ‘I love _you_ , Jungwoo.’

Liar.

Jungwoo sighed after he collected his thoughts and spoke up again, “When did you break up with him?”

“Last year,” Jaehyun answered.

“You broke up with him and you texted me after that. _Great_ , don’t tell me that you got my number from Doyoung _hyung_ too,” said Jungwoo before Jaehyun replied him with a shrug, which meant Jungwoo had hit the spot.

“Jungwoo,” Jaehyun spoke up after a brief silence. “Give me another chance,” he continued.

“No,” Jungwoo said in a second.

"I promise I will fix everything.”

"No,” Jungwoo shook his head. “You won't."

Jungwoo could feel his heart ached badly. Everything happened abruptly to the point where Jungwoo was cornered with no space to breathe in – let alone to think of a solution. Jaehyun kept saying he would fix things but Jungwoo knew nothing could be fixed. It was not only because Taeyong’s name was called, it was _more_ than that. They were not supposed to be together in the first place after all.

"Are you perhaps in a relationship with someone right now?" Jaehyun asked.

"No, I am not."

“Then why don’t you give me the chance to be with you again?”

"A chance for me to get hurt again?"

"I won't hurt you."

"I don't believe you anymore. I..." Jungwoo breathed out. "I gave you my first love, my heart, my body, my time, my everything _._ You broke me apart, but I didn't care. I forgave you and trusted you, because I thought you would look at me the same way you looked at him.

"You finally said you loved me and gave me hope, but deep down inside your heart, you were thinking of him, weren't you? Then now, you came back to me, asking me for another chance after you broke up with him. Don't you think it's too late already? What do you think I am?" Jungwoo continued, pouring everything out of his chest.

Jaehyun was surprised by how Jungwoo snapped at him like that. Heartbreak really did change someone. Four years ago, Jungwoo was a polar opposite of the one in front of him right now. He always listened to Jaehyun, never once he argued to anything he said – not even in the slightest. He really gave his everything to Jaehyun and it made Jaehyun felt guilty even more.

On the other side, Jungwoo did not want to sound childish by holding a grudge toward Jaehyun. In fact, Jungwoo never fully blamed Jaehyun on what happened in the past. He could blame him for the heartbreak, but to think of it again, he knew Jaehyun had never loved him.

Jaehyun had warned him, he even rejected Jungwoo in the first place. But, it was Jungwoo’s first love story and he did not want it to end fast, so he begged Jaehyun to be with him and gave him the chance to break his heart apart. If he had to put the blame on someone, it was him who was foolish enough to believe the non-existent happy ending.

"Jungwoo," he called, "do you hate me?"

Jungwoo did not answer right away, creating a brief silence between the two of them. The silence was uncomfortable and it was obvious that Jungwoo was hesitating in the back of his mind, as if both his mind and heart were conflicting with one another.

"I do. I hate you,” he stated bitterly.

“Are you sure?”

“I am sure, of course.”

"Then,” Jaehyun paused before he asked another question, “why are you crying?”

Jungwoo frowned. “What? I am not-” Jungwoo stopped his words at the moment his finger grazed his cheek and found tears dripping on it. Indeed, his lips could spit out lies but, unfortunately, his heart could not handle it anymore it broke into tears.

Jungwoo tried to make an excuse, but no words were able to leave the tip of his tongue. Truth to be told, he had been in a total denial since the day he met Jaehyun again. His heart were in pain, and it was the same pain he felt on the day Jaehyun left him. He tried to suppress it into nothing left anymore, but instead, it only turned to be a heavy burden in his heart.

Did he hate Jaehyun? Honestly, he did not know. He had fallen too deep to hate him. It was not like all the memories were painful – some were too beautiful they hurt. The causes of the pain were not the memories, but instead it was because he knew they could not be restored. He strived to be strong from the outside, but what inside him was the exact opposite; he was broken.

Jungwoo faced downwards as he tried to wipe his tears. He did not want Jaehyun to see him being pathetic. He would beg Jaehyun to be with him four years ago, but the table had turned and crying in front of Jaehyun would be the last thing he wanted to do. He could hear a soft sigh left Jaehyun’s lips before he spoke up, stating an idea that Jungwoo completely detested.

“Let’s make a deal,” Jaehyun stated.

Jungwoo rolled his eyes in annoyance. A deal, _again_ , but with another person this time. The last time he made deals with someone, he would end up whether in a nightclub, a hotel room, or losing a huge amount of money. He wondered when would life give him choices rather than deals. He was tired of being disadvantaged.

“Give me three months to make you fall in love with me again,” Jaehyun said, “If I fail, I will give up on you and I promise I won’t take the investment away.”

“And if you win?” asked Jungwoo, still facing downwards.

“Face me when we are talking, Jungwoo,” said the latter in a demanding tone, forcing Jungwoo to tilt his head and face Jaehyun again.

There was no expression on the older guy’s face, but it was easy to spot the solemnity in his eyes. Jungwoo could make a guess of how the conversations would go, but the possibility rate for him to back away was close to zero.

“If you win?” asked Jungwoo again, repeating the unanswered question.

“It will be a win for both of us, right?”

“And what if I don’t give you the chance?”

Jaehyun said nothing. There was no need for him to give an obvious answer. He did not have to state anything for Jungwoo to figure out what would happen once he took the risk.

“You left me with no choice. This is not a deal. This is a contract,” said Jungwoo.

“We are business partners,” Jaehyun replied, quoting what Jungwoo told him before, “this is what we do.”

“Three months,” Jungwoo said after a deep breath, “and you will give up on me without cancelling the investment.”

“Three months,” Jaehyun repeated, “we will see.”


	28. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungwoo knew Yukhei was right; he knew the word suited him. But his heart ached again, and the more he remembered, the more painful it became.

If boredom could kill a person, then Yukhei would be dead already.

Fortunately, Sicheng’s apartment was available for him to crash at and there he was, spending his weekend by chilling on the other’s couch as if it was his own. Yuta had gone back to Japan, or else there was no way for Sicheng to let Yukhei disturbed his weekend. Their eyes were set on the TV and Sicheng continually switched the channel from one to another. Nothing entertained them but it still was better than a busy week that was filled with tests and projects.

They talked randomly sometimes, but most of the times they were just enjoying the comfortable silence around them. Truth to be told, Yukhei thought of Sicheng as one of his good friends even though they only had known each other for less than a year. Sicheng was like an older brother who would take care of him whenever he was drunk and would always be there for him – except when he was with Yuta, because of course, it was _hoe before bro_ for Sicheng.

Sicheng was different from any other friends Yukhei had ever had in his life – aside from Mark, who was even too pure to be in the same sentence with the words ‘sex’ or ‘alcohol’. Maybe it was because Yukhei was always surrounded by other social butterflies and Sicheng was obviously not one of them.

Sicheng did not drink that much, he did not sleep around either. Sometimes he was sarcastic to the point Yukhei found it annoying, but he knew Sicheng was a good friend he could depend on. That was why on a lazy weekend where he had no motivation to have the usual fun, spending it with Sicheng would the best option.

“Sicheng,” said the younger guy, starting another random conversation.

“Yes?” answered Sicheng without shifting his focus from the TV.

“Thanks to me you don’t have to spend your weekend alone by sleeping the whole day.”

“Shut up, I’m more productive that what you thought,” Sicheng complained.

“You mean jacking off to your anime fantasy with Yuta? That’s wild,” Yukhei leered.

Sicheng immediately took the pillow next to him and threw it at the younger guy before he replied, “You know what’s wilder? Fucking Ten at 3AM and disturbing the neighbor who sleeps peacefully.”

“Wait what–”

“Don’t you realize how loud you two were?” Sicheng said, cutting the other’s sentence. “Hearing my friends moaning like that makes me want to throw myself out of the window, you know?”

“Oops,” Yukhei laughed. “Indeed we went wild sometimes.”

“Fuck off, do that somewhere else,” Sicheng groaned.

“You know I can’t get laid at home. Someone went nuts because I did it once.”

“Okay now I understand why Jungwoo hates Ten to his guts other than because of his eccentric personality,” said Sicheng. “Anyway, talk about Jungwoo... How’s thing going on with you two?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t you usually spend the weekend with him? I mean, you two made a deal, right?”

“Jungwoo told you about the deal?” Yukhei asked, feeling surprised to know that Jungwoo trusted Sicheng enough to tell him about it.

“Yeah,” Sicheng said. “He didn’t tell me the details but I could manage to get a grasp of it.”

“It still goes on… I guess,” Yukhei answered unsurely. Sadly, he did not know either. Several months had passed and the deal had somewhat formed into a routine.

Sicheng raised an eyebrow. “You guess?”

“We still study together on the weekdays but it’s been a while since we went out together on the weekend. He told me he had to meet an important investor but honestly it sounded a little bit sketchy.”

“Sketchy?”

“He never met any investor on the weekend before, except one time when he had to go abroad with his dad. Plus, he couldn’t look me in the eyes when he told me he had to meet this investor. Sketchy, right?” Yukhei explained, followed by a question to make sure that his intuition was right.

Truth to be told, he felt uneasy about how things going between him and Jungwoo, who left him without proper explanation. Jungwoo only told him that he had to meet an investor and that was it – no apologize for breaking the contract, no explanation why he never came back that night, no nothing.

It was not like Yukhei was waiting for Jungwoo the whole night – or maybe he did a little – but he knew something had happened. The clock was ticking loud as the house was in silence until Yukhei heard footsteps outside of his room. He figured it was Jungwoo’s and he was right but, there was no knock on his door nor anything. Jungwoo went into his room right away and it was not long until Yukhei heard a voice that was loud enough to be defined as a scream.

Yukhei had lived in the _cursed_ house for more than half a year, but it was the first time for him to hear such thing. Jungwoo’s room was always in silence even though the owner was inside it – whether he was sleeping, reading books, or studying. Yukhei never had a hobby to overheard anyone’s conversation, but it was difficult not to hear what Jungwoo said when he talked loudly at midnight. Several curse words were heard clearly, along with names Yukhei had heard before: Doyoung and Jaehyun. It seemed like Jungwoo had a fight with that Doyoung guy and the other said guy was the reason.  

The next day they met each other, Jungwoo acted as usual, as if nothing had ever happened. Yukhei hated poking his nose on other’s business but he was too curious to stay silent. Unfortunately, Jungwoo’s answer couldn’t satisfy him. Yukhei knew that Jungwoo hid many things under his excuses, but this time, he stopped throwing questions. It was clearly shown on Jungwoo’s face that he did want to be bothered, and Yukhei had no other choice but to stop.

After all, they were only friends and nothing more. There was no need for Wong Yukhei to know everything about Kim Jungwoo.

“Sounds more like jealousy,” Sicheng mumbled, initiating a frown to show up on the other guy’s face.

“Also,” Yukhei added as his mind replaying the image of Jungwoo picking his nails nervously. He could not help to notice that something was wrong when Jungwoo did that habit of his; a small hint that was obvious enough to tell Yukhei something was not right.

He looked at Sicheng whose face showed anticipation of what he would hear next. Curiosity was written all over his face, but Yukhei could not tell him what’s on his mind. Why? He did not know either. He was sure that Sicheng was close enough to Jungwoo to know that small habit but, if Sicheng did not know about it… why should he know? Yukhei did not want to tell him, as if something inside him stopped him from doing so.

“No,” he continued, “never mind.”

“What? I was expecting some tea!”

“I had spilled enough.”

“You’re hiding something from me, aren’t you?” Sicheng questioned before he came to his main conclusion, “Let me make a guess, it’s something you know about Jungwoo but you don’t want me to know. Am I right?”

Yukhei said nothing, surprised that the older guy was sharp enough to hit the bullseye. Sicheng laughed, knowing he was right. “Bingo,” he said excitedly.

“Do you know anything though?” Yukhei asked, trying to get the conversation back in the line.

“About?”

“Isn’t it obvious who we’re talking about right now?”

Sicheng shrugged. “It’s been a while since I met or talked to him so I can’t really say anything. We have each other’s numbers but we don’t text or call one another. Why? You seem worried.”

“It’s not like I’m worried or anything, it’s just,” Yukhei breathed out. “After months of meeting him almost every day, it feels weird to stop suddenly.”

“You _are_ worried,” Sicheng said as the tip of his lips curved into a smirk. “Seems like your relationship has changed into something else,” he continued.

Yukhei rolled his eyes. “Well… maybe I’m worried for a bit but it’s only because we are friends.”

“Friends?”

“Yes.” Yukhei nodded. “We made up.”

“Seriously? It’s been _months_ already and you two are still _friends_? Come on, if this is a story book, sure enough I will choke the writer so they will stop the slow burn,” Sicheng groaned.

“This is not a story book so switching from enemies to friends aren’t as easy as switching from friends to enemies,” replied the latter.

“No, it’s not about being friends. I mean…” Sicheng paused, thinking. He had a guess that the younger guy would deny everything he said so it might be better to take things slowly one by one. He continued, “what do you think about Jungwoo?”

“He’s annoying but he’s not as bad as I thought.”

“That’s it? Are you two still arguing against each other?”

“What’s this? Are you interrogating me?” Yukhei asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Just answer me without questioning anything, okay?”

Yukhei sighed. “We don’t argue as much as before. He still nagged at me sometimes but since we’ve known each other better, at least to the point where we know what the other’s dislikes, we could avoid unnecessary arguments.”

“So you two are getting closer and you don’t hate each other anymore,” said Sicheng, concluding what Yukhei said.

The latter nodded. “We live in the same house after all, of course we don’t want to be enemies forever.”

“Then, how do you feel around him?” Sicheng asked.

Yukhei did not reply right away. How did he feel around Jungwoo? Not once had he thought about it. He always thought about how their relationship progressed, how they could understand each other better than anyone else, and how they were put in a similar situation where they were trapped inside a game called ‘family’. Yukhei never thought about it – not even in the slightest.

Yukhei always went with the flow and never once had he thought that Jungwoo being by his side would be something usual for him. Yukhei could not even understand clearly how things could turn to be like that but, undoubtedly, he had start to open a small part of his heart for Jungwoo.

Sometimes Jungwoo still annoyed him. Sometimes their fights still made him regretted his decisions on being friends. But most of the times, he felt…safe.

He did not have to feel insecure when he was around Jungwoo. He did not have to feel afraid that Jungwoo might use him for his fame nor money as Jungwoo needed neither. He did not have to hide what he felt in front of Jungwoo. His hatred toward his family and the way he cursed his life and his fate, he did not mind anymore if Jungwoo knew about it all.

So, what did he feel around Jungwoo? Secure? Serene? Comfortable? He still had not figure it out yet, but he knew it might be something that could not be easily described with words.

“I still don’t know,” Yukhei answered, “but it wasn’t bad being around him.”

“I see. Next question, do you think about him when you two aren’t together?” Sicheng replied. He always thought he was the biggest _tsundere_ ever, but he was wrong. Turned out, Yukhei was already on another level above him.

Yukhei narrowed his eyes, contemplating on how far he could trust his friend with his secret. But before Yukhei made a decision, Sicheng was quick enough to understand what was on the latter’s mind and spoke up, “I promise I will never tell him anything about this.”

“Really?” Yukhei questioned and Sicheng replied him with a nod.

Yukhei sighed softly. “I…do think about him a lot even when I don’t want to do so.”

Sicheng gasped as he heard Yukhei’s confession. _This_ was exactly what he wanted to hear and he was satisfied with it. But, seeing how Yukhei replied him and how there was a short brief between the questions and answers, Sicheng wondered if Yukhei knew where exactly the conversation was directed to. Sicheng had come to his conclusion but, Yukhei acted like he was still oblivious about his feelings and focused on his thoughts more.

Sicheng took a deep breath before he spoke up again, throwing the last question with a wide smile across his face, “Yukhei, have you ever been in love before?”

Yukhei tilted his head. _Love_. When did the last time he fell in love? As long as he could remember, never it had happened before. He was nineteen and he had experienced a lot of things as he always lived his life to the fullest but, being in love was something out of his grasp.

He had seen his family crumbled down in front of his eyes. He had witnessed how people would cheat on their partners only to get into his pants. For him, whose heart had torn into two because of the people who were supposed to _love_ him, ‘love’ was only a cliché thing in a fairy tale or a story book. A fiction and nothing more.

“No, actually I don’t believe in such thing as love,” he stated.

“Are you fucking dumb or what?” Sicheng questioned back while narrowing his eyes. His guess was right; Yukhei did not realize his feelings for Jungwoo.

“Huh?” Yukhei replied, feeling offended. “I can choose on what I believe, right? You don’t have to say such thing to me.”

“Full offense but I thought you’re smart in everything but turned out you’re extremely dumb in some things,” Sicheng said without hesitation.

“What the fuck, Sicheng.”

“Oh my goodness. Listen, Yukhei, _you_ are in love with Jungwoo.”

Sicheng sighed in frustration. At first, he wanted Yukhei to realize it by himself but, after what Yukhei said to him, he knew he had to do something. He had to give the first push or else there would not be any progress between Yukhei and Jungwoo.

Yukhei blinked before he protested, “Come on you’re talking nonsense right now.”

“You feel good around him, you missed him when he was not with you, you worry about him, you think about him a lot, and you still say that you are _not_ in love with him? Woke, Yukhei, _woke_.”

“I told you before I don’t believe in love.”

“You don’t believe in it because you never experience it before. But it doesn’t mean you can’t feel it. Jungwoo might be your…first love,” Sicheng said.

“Shut up, you don’t know anything,” said Yukhei in annoyance.

“Stop denying your feelings, do you want to be just friends with him forever?”

“Chill, we were only start becoming friends not long ago. It wasn’t easy for us to become friends, so don’t expect any more than that.”

“You’re avoiding my question, Yukhei.”

Yukhei sighed again. “First, I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. Second, we don’t even know whether he’s into guy or–”

Sicheng rubbed his temple before cutting the other’s sentence again with a sarcastic question, “You two fucked each other but you’re still not sure about whether he’s gay or not? You dumb?”

“I– okay, you made a point.”

“He’s gay. He told me so. Closeted though.”

“Oh, okay.” Yukhei said awkwardly, not knowing how to react. He continued, “I’m…going home right now.”

Yukhei thought a lazy weekend at Sicheng’s place could be relaxing. Not once had he thought that the event would turn to be a bombarding interrogation. It never crossed his mind either that he would run away from a situation – which usually only happened to Jungwoo. At first, he thought Sicheng would stop his accusation and told him to stay but, unfortunately, Sicheng’s reaction was the exact opposite of what he had expected.

“Yes, go home and think about this please. Don’t go next door and fuck each other,” he said.

Yukhei rolled his eyes and leered, “Thank you for giving me a good idea.”

“I will tell Jungwoo if you do that.”

“I will tell Yuta I fuck you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be the one to get killed,” Sicheng said. “Plus, you can’t even lie, can you?”

Yukhei said nothing, completely defeated by Sicheng’s words of truth. Now he could understand what Jungwoo felt whenever he was intimidated and sure enough it was not the best feeling ever, especially since the two of them were prideful. Yukhei rolled his eyes again before he walked to the front door and said, “Then fuck you, Sicheng.”

Sicheng laughed, knowing Yukhei’s loss. A wide smile creeped across his lips before he waved his hand to the younger guy and shouted, “Love you too, Yukhei!”

* * *

 Jungwoo felt bad.

He was no longer enemy with Yukhei, and the fact he had to lie to him every time they met made him feel guilty even more. He knew Yukhei noticed his lies as usual, but he stopped asking him questions. The last time he lied, Yukhei only answered him with a simple ‘okay’. No questions, no accusation, no nothing.

It should be a good thing that Yukhei did not question him anything, but instead, his heart ached whenever he lied. Jungwoo was a pathological liar when it came to business and his lies did not bother him anymore. The guilt was no longer there as he lied almost every time he opened his mouth. But why did it had the reverse reaction when he lied to Yukhei? With each lies left his lips, the more guilt he felt inside his heart.

It all started when they were studying together. The room was in full silent until Jungwoo’s phone vibrated and Jaehyun’s name came up on its screen. Jungwoo excused himself to pick up the phone outside the room, and when he came back, Yukhei asked him who was it. Jungwoo questioned back, wondering why would Yukhei ask about it when usually he never bothered to ask such question.

“It’s because you never pick up a call when you’re studying,” he answered.

Jungwoo gulped before he sat across Yukhei again and broke the eye contact between them. He said, “It was an urgent phone call from an investor.”

“At a time like this?” Yukhei asked again as it was already past six in the afternoon.

“Yes,” Jungwoo breathed out. “The stock dropped a little so he asked me about it.”

Yukhei nodded before shifting his focus back on his books and the room went silent again. Jungwoo could feel his heart ached a little bit. _Liar_. There was no talk about stock or business. Jaehyun asked him for a dinner on the weekend and of course, he agreed.

Days passed by quickly and Friday came already. Jungwoo stood nervously in front of Yukhei’s room, with his knuckles facing the door, only a centimeter away from it. The next day would be the second weekend for Jungwoo to break his deal with Yukhei. Would Yukhei question him things? Should he prepare his lies first? But why would he lie? He should not lie. It’s not like Yukhei would really throw question at him. But what would he do if it happened?

He was hesitating, but there was no way for him to cancel his agreement with Jaehyun. There was no test coming soon so it would be easier for Jungwoo to break the deal, right? Yukhei did not have to study on the weekdays and he could go out the next day without facing more problems. It should be an easy thing but why he had to make things complicated? He sighed before he moved his knuckles and knocked the door.

“I’m sorry, I can’t go out with you tomorrow.”

Yukhei raised an eyebrow. “Again?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jungwoo said. “I have to meet an investor and it’s pretty urgent.”

“You’re getting really busy nowadays, aren’t you?”

“We don’t have to study together next week. There will be no test so–”

“It’s fine. I can meet Johnny tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s good. Okay then, night,” said Jungwoo before he excused himself and went back to his room again.

His heart ached a little bit again and guilt began to creep inside it. He took a deep breath, feeling bad for lying to his own friend. He could not even look Yukhei in the eye, afraid that Yukhei would expose his lies. But wait, it was not a complete lie, right? Jaehyun was an investor even though the meeting was not that urgent. Yes, it was not a complete lie so calm yourself down, Jungwoo.

He sighed softly as he tried to calm down, but not once he had thought it would happen in circle.

Jungwoo knocked on Yukhei’s room every Friday and Yukhei had already knew that Jungwoo was going to turn down another deal. The lies were there as always, and somehow it became bigger every time. Jungwoo began to look at Yukhei in the eye, hoping he could cover up the guilt he felt inside. But sadly, what he felt was the complete opposite of what he expected.

The moment Yukhei stopped asking questions and only said ‘okay’ after Jungwoo apologized made his heart stopped for a second. He should feel relieved, should not he?

“You...” Jungwoo said without finishing the whole sentence.

He wanted to look at the other’s eyes. He wanted to know how did Yukhei see him. Did he see him as a pathetic, boring guy like the first time they met each other? Did he hate him again? He lied a lot and Yukhei hated liar, so it would make sense if Yukhei hated him again. Maybe he could find the answer through his eyes, but he was too afraid to do so.

“Do you have any other thing to say?” Yukhei asked, making Jungwoo who was lost in his thought flinched.

“…n-no,” he stuttered.

“Okay. Night,” said Yukhei before he closed the door and left Jungwoo alone in the hallway.

Jungwoo froze. His eyes were still set on the marble tiles under him. He should expect Yukhei giving him a cold shoulder but once it happened, he turned speechless. Yukhei had always been so loud and unexpected. He was annoying and critical. But once he stopped asking question and sounded unbothered, Jungwoo knew Yukhei was not buying any of his lies anymore.

It was as if Yukhei knew Jungwoo had been lying all the time and he chose to stay silent instead. Either he chose to hate him again or waited until Jungwoo gave him a proper explanation, Jungwoo was not ready to face any of it.

But to think of it again, Jungwoo had another deal to settle. He was stupid, he knew. Sure enough if his life was a story book, all the readers would tell him to stop making deals with people. He was playing risky about it and he knew, but he just had no other choice. And it was tragic that no matter how guilty he felt at night, once the day changed, he had to change too.

He had to be the one who gave a cold shoulder to Jaehyun. He had to be the one who ignored text and did not buy all of Jaehyun’s sweet talks. The first few weeks, everything went perfectly according to what Jungwoo wanted. No matter how hard Jaehyun tried to break his defense down, Jungwoo succeeded at protecting it.

Unfortunately, the wall he built began to crumble down bit by bit after weeks turned to months. Even though Jungwoo hated to admit it, Jaehyun had been playing the game well – or maybe _too_ well. It was obvious that Jaehyun still remembered how to make Jungwoo felt good; being a gentleman, telling sweet words, and treating him with respect.

Jungwoo was prideful, but Jaehyun could tear that pride off him. The small gestures Jaehyun made reminded Jungwoo of what he felt four years ago. The sudden butterflies inside his stomach when Jaehyun patted his head softly, the way his heart raced when he saw Jaehyun smiled, showing his cute dimples, the nervousness he felt when Jaehyun asked him if it was okay to kiss him, and the indescribable feeling when they shared a soft, passionate kiss.

Indeed, Jaehyun was different from the way he was before. The way he talked, the way he demanded things, the way he looked at Jungwoo. Many things had changed, but one thing that never changed was the way Jaehyun treated him until he could not help but to fall head over heels all over again.

Everything was like a long lost dream came true.

Everything he wanted when he was sixteen, they happened.

Jungwoo felt like sixteen again. A silly young boy who dreamed of a happy ending and wished for a prince to make it happen. Back then, he was anxious. But now, thing was different. There were only Jaehyun and Jungwoo, not Jaehyun, _Taeyong_ , and Jungwoo. The one-sided-crush was no longer there and Jaehyun had make sure of it so Jungwoo could breathe easy.

Jungwoo knew he should not do that. He knew he should not forgive Jaehyun after everything he did. He knew he should not give him the chance. He knew the deal was a stupid thing to do. He knew and it frightened him that there was no single trace of regret inside his heart. He was living in his euphoria that he had always wanted years ago and once he finally had a grasp of it, it was not easy to let it go away.

A few weeks to go and Jungwoo would lose the deal. He was not ready to face his defeat but neither he was ready to let Jaehyun walked away from his life again. His brain had been telling him to think rationally all the time; that he should not lower his defense, that he should not trust Jaehyun again, that he should move on and won the deal.

However, it was much easier said than done when his heart denied everything his brain told him – Jaehyun was still the same, but maybe he had changed. Jaehyun was never serious, but maybe he was serious this time. Jaehyun was a liar, but maybe he told no lies anymore.

Jungwoo used to love him too much to the point it turned to obsession. _Used to_? Was that really the right words to describe what he felt? Jungwoo did buried his feelings and his heart had turned cold but, not once had it was written that he ever stopped loving Jaehyun.

Four years ago, he told Jaehyun he would love him forever. It sounded innocent, a typical sentence that would slipped every person’s lips when they were madly in love. But for Jungwoo, it was much more than sweet talks and words. Jaehyun had always been inside his heart all the time.

People said nothing lasted forever, but Jungwoo really meant what he said.

He would love him until he could not anymore.

* * *

It was the fourth Saturday in the second month.

Time flew and Jungwoo, who could not help but to open his heart for Jaehyun again, began to let himself drown in the romance fantasy he had lost four years ago. The night before, Yukhei gave him another ‘okay’ and nothing else. At this point, Jungwoo did not know what to feel anymore. The guilt of lying to Yukhei was still there, but when he was with Jaehyun, it faded into nothing.

Jaehyun gradually began to fill the emptiness inside his heart again. The crack was slowly fixed and what he had buried started to unfold again. Little by little, Jaehyun took back the empty space he had left before, until Jungwoo could feel his heart bloomed again. And without he realizing, the more he let Jaehyun filled his heart, the less Yukhei had his part.

The clock was ticking. It showed five in the afternoon and Jungwoo was inside his room alone, looking through his wardrobe to find a perfect clothes to wear into a fancy dinner. Jaehyun was downstairs, waiting for him patiently at the living room. Jungwoo still was not ready to let Jaehyun got into his room – he knew he would be defeated completely once he let him step into his safe place.

Jungwoo’s mind wandered around as he stared at his reflection in the mirror, trying to match the clothes he had chosen. Unfortunately, the memory that were kept being played inside his mind distracted him from reality. It brought him back to the coincidental meeting he had with Yukhei in the morning. The empty hallway, the cold shoulder, the lies – he could not forget about them even though he forced himself to.

Usually, Jungwoo chose to meet Jaehyun outside. He did not want Jaehyun to meet Yukhei and vice versa. It would be awkward – in a bad way – if they met each other and Jungwoo knew he would never be ready to be questioned about it. Nevertheless, that day was different. Jungwoo knew Yukhei would be away the entire day and that was why he agreed to Jaehyun picking him up in the afternoon.

Throwback to the morning, Jungwoo accidentally met Yukhei in the hallway. Yukhei was all dressed up using his favorite black turtleneck and it was rare to see him like that early in the morning. The moment they met each other, the moment the awkwardness around them increased rapidly. No words were spoken, none of them even took the initiative to start a conversation. It was as if they were brought back to the cold war they had several months ago.

Jungwoo took a glance at Yukhei who was locking his door. He could just say nothing and go back to his room, running away like always. But, at that time, he did not want to do that. He felt like there was something unfinished between them and he could not stay still. He wondered if Yukhei was mad about the deal breaking but, to think of it again, it went mutual so he should not be mad about it, right?

Jungwoo collected his guts and finally, before Yukhei left him without saying anything, he took the courage to speak up first. “Are you going somewhere today?” he asked.

The younger guy stopped his steps and turned around to face Jungwoo, who looked nervous in his pajama. He tilted his head while scanning the other guy’s appearance from head to toe as it was his first time seeing him in a pajama. _Cute_ , but of course Yukhei would never say that in person.

“Yes, I’m going to Sicheng’s place,” he answered.

“Oh,” Jungwoo said while picking his nails nervously. “It’s been a while since I met him.”

“It’s fine. He knows you’re busy with the company,” Yukhei said, initiating the guilt inside Jungwoo’s heart to rise again.

           _It was a lie. It’s not about the company. I’m sorry.  
_

“Uh…then…send my regards to him,” said Jungwoo while scratching his nape gently, not knowing what to say other than that.

Yukhei raised an eyebrow. He noticed Jungwoo started to pick his nails subconsciously again. But why? Did he lie again? Or else why would he be _that_ nervous?

“You,” Yukhei said before deciding to stop throwing question. Jungwoo looked uncomfortable, but he was the one who started the conversation so he should expect to be questioned. “Never mind,” he continued with a sigh.

It was obvious that Jungwoo did not want to make any eye contact with Yukhei. His heart was beating faster than usual, but hearing Yukhei’s answer slightly relieved his guilt. Yukhei answered him, so it meant he was not mad at him.

Jungwoo knew he was selfish by having such thought; starting a bad conversation only because he had to make sure that Yukhei did not figure out his lies. But he had no other choice. He did not want to feel that there was something unfinished between them.

“Okay. Bye then,” said Yukhei before turning around, leaving Jungwoo alone in the hallway.

“Bye,” Jungwoo mumbled, still answering even though he knew Yukhei would not hear him.

He tried to brush the guilt feeling away. He thought he would not feel it anymore, but after all, it was much easier to be said than done. It was not something easy to forget, but at least when he was with Jaehyun, both Yukhei and the guilty feeling would disappear from his thought. He would feel bad again after he got back to his room and faced Yukhei the next day but, _at least_ , he would still have a few hours to run away from his guilt.

Jungwoo pinched his own cheeks, trying to pull himself back from his distracting thoughts. He would meet Jaehyun once he walked downstairs and he would be brought to his euphoria again, so he should not overthink and rush himself instead. He should not keep Jaehyun waiting for too long.

* * *

Yukhei went home right away.

Normally, he would wonder if Sicheng had smoke something to the point he could be delusional. But they were together since the morning and he knew Sicheng did not smoke anything. But _still_ , Yukhei thought Sicheng was being delusional because of what he said.

There was no way for him to be in love – let alone with Jungwoo. Indeed, Yukhei had been in various relationships before. He also had slept with countless of women and men, but they were only games to kill his boredom. They were only about lust and nothing else. No feelings, no attachment, no bond.

He had never fallen in love and neither he had believed in it. For him, love was the only way for him to be broken and he did not want that. He believed it could be bought with money and he had experienced it the hard way. It happened more than once; people telling him they _loved_ him when in fact, they loved his money and fame. Who would seriously love a broken person who was nothing but an embarrassment to his own family? No one.

Yukhei had seen it with his own eyes how his family being torn apart. Love? Bullshit. Everything was about money, authority, and fame. Once you had them in your hands, people would come to you immediately. They would say they loved you and you would be a fool for believing them. There was no such thing. Once you had nothing more, they would either leave you or ruin you.

So, if Yukhei would not love anybody, why would he love Kim Jungwoo?

Jungwoo was a liar and he hated liar the most. Indeed, they did not hate each other anymore but, it didn’t mean he would fall in love with him. Just because he thought about Jungwoo a lot of times, because Jungwoo understood him best, and because he kissed Jungwoo without reason, did not mean he was in love…right?

Jungwoo was attractive and they happened to have similar family situations, so no wonder they could understand each other. He could kiss anyone he found attractive, that was the reason he could have Ten as his sex buddy. But then, he remembered the feeling he had before kissing Jungwoo was different from the feeling he had with other person. So what was that?

Yukhei was confused. If his life was a story book, then he was sure the writer purposely making he looked dumb here. But that was not the case since it was not a story book. He just could not figure out his feelings but he knew it was nothing like what Sicheng told him. And if it was, he was not ready to be broken again.

He was afraid.

 

It was five in the afternoon when Yukhei finally got home. He saw an unfamiliar car parked outside the house and he wondered whose was it. A new Maybach 57s. There was no way a commoner would have that, so either Jungwoo bought a new car – which was impossible – or someone important was in the house.

Yukhei opened the front door and it was not long for him to notice a male figure sitting on the living room’s couch. The unknown man tilted his head to face the door after he heard it was being opened. Yukhei never saw him before and he was so sure about it. He had met countless of people in his life, but he would never forget anyone attractive. Within a second, Yukhei admitted the stranger was _extremely_ handsome.

“Who are you?” asked the sitting guy.

Yukhei frowned. “I should be one to ask. Who are _you_?”

“I’m Jaehyun,” he said as he stood up and a smile showed up on his face. “Jungwoo’s boyfriend.”

“Huh?” Yukhei asked while raising both his eyebrow and his voice.

“Jungwoo doesn’t tell you about it?”

Yukhei shook his head. “No,” he answered.

“And may I know who are you?”

“I’m Yukhei. I live here.”

“You _live_ here?” Jaehyun asked again as the smile on his face started to fade away.

Yukhei was confused and the current situation baffled him even more. _Boyfriend_. What was that? Jungwoo never told him anything about it. He told him he had to meet an important investor. He knew Jungwoo hid something but he stopped asking because he did not want to bother him anymore. But _this_ , was out of Yukhei’s speculations.

He knew just because they were friends, did not mean he had to know everything about the other. But a _boyfriend. Wow, okay._ Jungwoo broke the deals, for _weeks_ , telling Yukhei it was because of his company matters. Yukhei believed foolishly and turned out, his _investor_ was his boyfriend. Sure. Okay. No problem.

He should not be pissed, but why did he feel so? Because Jungwoo broke the deals? Because Jungwoo lied to him? What? A _boyfriend_? He broke the deals so he could be in a new Maybach 57s with his boyfriend? Okay. He should understand. They were friends. He should not be mad. But _oh god_ , why did he feel so pissed off?

“Yes, I–” Yukhei said, before he was cut off by the sight of Jungwoo walking down the stairs behind Jaehyun, all dressed in a designer clothing that fitted him perfectly. _Fuck, he looked good_.

Jungwoo froze at the moment he saw the two other two guys in front of him. Yukhei was supposed not to be there, but there he was, breathing. “Y-you,” he stuttered while his finger slowly pointing at Yukhei. “Why are you here?”

“Jungwoo, come here,” said Jaehyun in a demanding tone.

It was obvious that Jungwoo wanted to walk back his room and hid under his blanket, but he knew he could not do that. So he braved himself, continuing his steps until he stood next to Jaehyun who greeted him with a smile.

“Jungwoo, who is this person?” he asked.

“He is a friend,” Jungwoo answered.

“Who _lives_ here?” asked Jaehyun again, clearly ignoring Yukhei’s present in the room.

Jungwoo nodded. “Yes. He is a foreigner and our parents happened to be best friends, so…”

“Okay. I understand,” Jaehyun said. “He doesn’t know about me?”

“No. I mean, uh…” Jungwoo gulped nervously as he looked at Yukhei who seemed to have _tons_ of questions inside his head. “Yukhei, this is Jaehyun. The investor I’ve told you before.”

Yukhei frowned. Now it became _investor_ again. Yeah, sure, _whatever_. An investor who became a boyfriend every weekends. Yukhei realized he should not trust a stranger but, to think of it again, one of the two guys in front of him was a liar. He thought that person had changed because there’s no way he did not know Yukhei could see through his lies. But it seemed like once a liar, always a liar. A bad liar who kept trying to lie over and over again.

“The _investor_ ,” Yukhei muttered. “I see.”

Jungwoo was confused. Did they talk to each other before? Why was there a tense air around them? But, rather than thinking of such questions, Jungwoo realized he had to escape the current situation – at least his intuition told him to. He spoke up before he faced Jaehyun again, “Anyway, we have to go now. Right?”

Jaehyun looked at Jungwoo in the eye before shifting his gaze back to Yukhei, as if he knew something made Jungwoo wanted to be in rush. “Right, we have to go now,” he answered.

“Come on,” Jungwoo said before he walked toward the door, avoiding any eye contact with Yukhei, who was still standing at the door, as if he was waiting for Jungwoo to walk past him – which was true.

The moment Jungwoo took a step next to him, a word slipped through his lips. Jungwoo widened his eyes right after he heard the word, and without doubt he took a quick glance at Yukhei. He froze on his step, not knowing what to say nor to react. He felt his heart dropped and stopped beating for a second.

There was an indescribable expression painted all over Yukhei’s face. It was different from the one Yukhei showed him at the aquarium. It was different from the one Yukhei had when he talked about his dad. His brows furrowed, his lips pressed firmly, his jaw clenched tight, and his eyes…Jungwoo did not know how to put it in words.

He wanted to say something, but he could not. The room was silent and tense air hung around them, making the situation worse. The only sound he could hear was Jaehyun’s footsteps, which got louder as he got closer.

“Let’s go, Jungwoo,” said Jaehyun while putting his arm around Jungwoo’s waist and guided him to his car.

Jungwoo said nothing. He was still in shock, and the word was still there inside his mind, replaying again and again in the same, deep tone Yukhei muttered to him. It was only a simple word that Yukhei had told him several times before, but why did it felt so different? Why did it felt so painful?

He knew Yukhei was right, he knew the word suited him. But his heart ached again, and the more he remembered, the more painful it became.

 

_“Liar.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is actually my first published fic! Inspired by my AU idea on Twitter.  
> I appreciate every comment, read, and kudos! Special thanks to my beta-reader, Anna! Thank you so much for reading! See you in the next chapter :)


End file.
